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Jenamarie

By Jenamarie,
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Jenamarie

Jenamarie

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State! Not DC.

Hello! I thought I'd out myself as a fairly new lurker to this forum (been here for a couple of weeks, just registered a couple of days ago). My name is Jenamarie (duh), please do not shorten it to Jena. ^_^ I'm a 26 year old SAHM to two wonderful toddlers, Raia (3.5) and Errol (my 4th of July baby! turns 2 this year). DH is George, who also registered at this site, but as far as I know hasn't posted yet, but may post in the future.

I'm currently wavering in my Testimony. Some days I feel like I've got a firm grip on it, and other days I wonder how in the world the church could possibly be true. It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past few months. I'm reading the BoM and Jesus the Christ (I don't suggest reading them simultaneously!), and also have Preach my Gospel that I study on occasion, I visit the Temple when the opportuniyt arrises, and I downloaded General Conference onto my MP3 player to listen to at the gym. I'd say I'm doing just about everything "right" in searching for a Testimony, and yet I fear getting down on my knees to really pray about it. I've prayed for help in finding an answer, but have yet to pray FOR an answer. Mainly my fear revolves around my family. What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true? What would happen if I were to leave the church? My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith? Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone? Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion? Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight.

I'm glad I found this site, because I love that there are non-LDS people here to give other viewpoints of doctrine and scripture. I've been drawn to learning more about other Christian faiths, to see if any of them have the ring of truth for me. The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. My Testimony of that is solid as a rock, so finding the knowledge He wants me to have of Him is my central goal of this whole quest for a Testimony.

Wow, that was longer than I meant it to me. If you've made it this far congratulations! I hope to get to know more of you as time goes on. :)

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prisonchaplain

prisonchaplain

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Welcome aboard...and from Washington too. You're in God's country, so the rest is gravy anyway! :-)

I'd encourage you to continue lurking, ask the occasional question, rely deeply on what you are sure of and grounded in, and ultimately, God will direct you and grant you the strength and courage you need. Blessings!

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skalenfehl

skalenfehl

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Welcome, JenaMarie! It sounds to me like you're overwhelmed by too many questions and concerns, though very valid. May I recommend taking it one step at a time? Baby steps. May I first recommend that you know that there is a God and he is our Father in Heaven and He loves all of us. He loves you and would never do anything to lead you anywhere other than to Him. Therefore if you sincerely seek Him out purposefully and intently, you will come to find Him. The Book of Mormon is a good step in the right direction. May I recommend setting down the other books for now and focus on just the Book of Mormon? Father in Heaven will answer your prayers and that is where you must place your trust.

I'd love to help you resolve your concerns and answer your questions. I'd love to help you build your faith on a solid foundation so that you can continue to build on it so that the storms of life won't carry you away to uncertainties. Here's a link to my testimony of the Book of Mormon along with others who have shared their witness:

http://www.lds.net/forums/prayers-testimonies/10069-your-book-mormon-story.html

Please feel free to ask whatever questions you have that I or anyone else can answer. One thing I feel strongly about sharing with you is your fear of praying. Remember who the father of fear is. Let your heart be filled with love and not fear. The adversary will fill you with fear and doubt and anything else to keep you from praying and finding out what you truly desire and I know that it is to keep your wonderful husband and beautiful children.

2 Ne. 32: 8-9

8 And now, my beloved brethren, I perceive that ye ponder still in your hearts; and it grieveth me that I must speak concerning this thing. For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.

9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.

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skalenfehl

skalenfehl

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I don't know if these where rhetorical, but may I venture in sharing insight?

What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true?

Many of us have been through that. To this I can only add that if you truly ask with a sincere heart as Moroni exhorts, with real intent, meaning you really have to want to know. You are ready to embrace the answer the Lord will give you, and if you demonstrate the faith in Christ that you previously mentioned is solid, then there is no doubt that Father in Heaven will answer you by the power of the Holy Ghost. That I can promise you.

What would happen if I were to leave the church?

Father in Heaven has promised us that he will judge us according to the desires of our hearts. Our desires determine our actions. Our faith determines our works.

My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith?

It's certainly understandable that you want what's right for your children just as Father in Heaven wants what is right for you.

Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone?

I wonder if this means before or after you truly know you've received your answer.

Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion?

If you left the church, then very likely. We believe not only in the authority and correctness of our church, but also the principle of its sealing power of marriage for time and all eternity.

Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight.

They built their faith up for themselves. They paved the path for their posterity, but each of us must come to this knowledge for ourselves as they did. Who could endure the pains and tribulations of their persecution as the prophets of old and the prophets and pioneers of the restoration if they absolutely did not believe it wasn't true? That is the difference that having a testimony makes.

Best wishes on your journey here. I hope you post often and make many friends here. I for one am thankful that you found your way to this forum. By the way, may I share a quote from President Hinckley?

Well, it's either true or false. If it's false, we're engaged in a great fraud. If it's true, it's the most important thing in the world. Now, that's the whole picture. It is either right or wrong, true or false, fraudulent or true. And that's exactly where we stand, with a conviction in our hearts that it is true: that Joseph went into the [sacred] Grove; that he saw the Father and the Son; that he talked with them; that Moroni came; that the Book of Mormon was translated from the plates; that the priesthood was restored by those who held it anciently. That's our claim. That's where we stand, and that's where we fall, if we fall. But we don't. We just stand secure in that faith.

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HiJolly

HiJolly

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I'm currently wavering in my Testimony.

It happens to the best of us, and while scary is not the end of the world, either. ;)

Some days I feel like I've got a firm grip on it, and other days I wonder how in the world the church could possibly be true. It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past few months. I'm reading the BoM and Jesus the Christ (I don't suggest reading them simultaneously!), and also have Preach my Gospel that I study on occasion, I visit the Temple when the opportuniyt arrises, and I downloaded General Conference onto my MP3 player to listen to at the gym. I'd say I'm doing just about everything "right" in searching for a Testimony, and yet I fear getting down on my knees to really pray about it. I've prayed for help in finding an answer, but have yet to pray FOR an answer.

Sounds like you're doing the 'right' things, but it doesn't really make sense to you, in your heart. Is this accurate?

Mainly my fear revolves around my family. What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true? What would happen if I were to leave the church? My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith?

This strikes me as curious. Why, if you didn't get a testimony, would the faith be 'false'? Are you an "all or nothing" person? The scriptures tell us that we are all different, and that some will 'know' and others WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE (IOW, *not* know). I don't think it's so much that one is wicked and the other is righteous, but rather that it just IS.

Lots of people go to lots of Churches who *DON'T* know their Church is true. I know, it's a big deal in the LDS Church, but that peer pressure thing is not good. I think we should all just do the best we can. How many Catholics *know* their Church is true? How many just trust that it must be? Or hope that it might be? You see what I mean?

Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone? Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion? Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight.

I'm glad I found this site, because I love that there are non-LDS people here to give other viewpoints of doctrine and scripture. I've been drawn to learning more about other Christian faiths, to see if any of them have the ring of truth for me. The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. My Testimony of that is solid as a rock, so finding the knowledge He wants me to have of Him is my central goal of this whole quest for a Testimony.

Then, trust in God. Love Him. He wants us to love Him, and to love and serve each other. That's the bottom line. We can do that, in or out of the Church, though I have to admit I've NEVER seen another Church to compare with the LDS church in opportunities for service.

HiJolly

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prisonchaplain

prisonchaplain

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though I have to admit I've NEVER seen another Church to compare with the LDS church in opportunities for service.

HiJolly

Your church may have a unique system of callings, that assimilates a higher rate of participation in service than most churches, but most churches have plenty of work for those willing to help out. :cool:

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Maya

Maya

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I love that Hinkleys quote, it is sooo true! Sometimes to get over some bad times you just have to decide, that the church is true!

Have you thought of the negative sides of other religions? Like other christians according to their belief believe that a child if not babtised goes to hell... After death we are mere spirits... trinity... only those babtised to the right religion (which is?) will be saved, everybody else goes to hell...

those that never heard about the religion are going to hell...

Yet they say God is love!

A frend of mine lost her little brother as a baby. They did not manage to babtize him in time.... the preast refused to have a church burial in the church graveyard for him. Eventually they found an other preast from an other congrigation, who was willing to do that. After the burial the mother asked, what he tought, did the baby go to hell. He said according to the belief yes, he went to hell.

Think about the love of God... what would show us his love that is right.

You have good questions which scalenfehl answered well... keep asking ... in the end youll find your answers.

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HiJolly

HiJolly

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Your church may have a unique system of callings, that assimilates a higher rate of participation in service than most churches, but most churches have plenty of work for those willing to help out. :cool:

I agree. There's plenty of good work to do for all.

HiJolly

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Hemidakota

Hemidakota

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State! Not DC.

Hello! I thought I'd out myself as a fairly new lurker to this forum (been here for a couple of weeks, just registered a couple of days ago). My name is Jenamarie (duh), please do not shorten it to Jena. ^_^ I'm a 26 year old SAHM to two wonderful toddlers, Raia (3.5) and Errol (my 4th of July baby! turns 2 this year). DH is George, who also registered at this site, but as far as I know hasn't posted yet, but may post in the future.

I'm currently wavering in my Testimony. Some days I feel like I've got a firm grip on it, and other days I wonder how in the world the church could possibly be true. It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past few months. I'm reading the BoM and Jesus the Christ (I don't suggest reading them simultaneously!), and also have Preach my Gospel that I study on occasion, I visit the Temple when the opportuniyt arrises, and I downloaded General Conference onto my MP3 player to listen to at the gym. I'd say I'm doing just about everything "right" in searching for a Testimony, and yet I fear getting down on my knees to really pray about it. I've prayed for help in finding an answer, but have yet to pray FOR an answer. Mainly my fear revolves around my family. What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true? What would happen if I were to leave the church? My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith? Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone? Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion? Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight.

I'm glad I found this site, because I love that there are non-LDS people here to give other viewpoints of doctrine and scripture. I've been drawn to learning more about other Christian faiths, to see if any of them have the ring of truth for me. The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. My Testimony of that is solid as a rock, so finding the knowledge He wants me to have of Him is my central goal of this whole quest for a Testimony.

Wow, that was longer than I meant it to me. If you've made it this far congratulations! I hope to get to know more of you as time goes on. :)

Welcome sister. :D

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MorningStar

MorningStar

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State! Not DC.

Hello! I thought I'd out myself as a fairly new lurker to this forum (been here for a couple of weeks, just registered a couple of days ago). My name is Jenamarie (duh), please do not shorten it to Jena. ^_^ I'm a 26 year old SAHM to two wonderful toddlers, Raia (3.5) and Errol (my 4th of July baby! turns 2 this year). DH is George, who also registered at this site, but as far as I know hasn't posted yet, but may post in the future.

I'm currently wavering in my Testimony. Some days I feel like I've got a firm grip on it, and other days I wonder how in the world the church could possibly be true. It's been an emotional roller coaster for the past few months. I'm reading the BoM and Jesus the Christ (I don't suggest reading them simultaneously!), and also have Preach my Gospel that I study on occasion, I visit the Temple when the opportuniyt arrises, and I downloaded General Conference onto my MP3 player to listen to at the gym. I'd say I'm doing just about everything "right" in searching for a Testimony, and yet I fear getting down on my knees to really pray about it. I've prayed for help in finding an answer, but have yet to pray FOR an answer. Mainly my fear revolves around my family. What happens if I don't feel the Spirit Testifying to my heart that it's true? What would happen if I were to leave the church? My dear hubby has been so patient with me through all of this, but has made it clear that he would not want our children raised in another faith. If I couldn't gain a Testimony of the church could I be okay with my children being raised in a "false" faith? Would I be okay with going to other churches completely alone? Would my husband be hurt losing his "eternal" companion? Not to mention my ancestors have been members of the Church since Nauvoo. Crossed the plains and all of that. Could I abandon the faith they gave up so much to build up? It's a heavy weight.

I'm glad I found this site, because I love that there are non-LDS people here to give other viewpoints of doctrine and scripture. I've been drawn to learning more about other Christian faiths, to see if any of them have the ring of truth for me. The one thing I know for sure is that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. My Testimony of that is solid as a rock, so finding the knowledge He wants me to have of Him is my central goal of this whole quest for a Testimony.

Wow, that was longer than I meant it to me. If you've made it this far congratulations! I hope to get to know more of you as time goes on. :)

Welcome, fellow Washingtonian! :D

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Jenamarie

Jenamarie

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Thank you all for the warm welcome. :)

I think what I'm mainly struggling with is knowing whether what I feel at certains times is the Spirit, or some kind of conditioned response from my upbringing in the church. The warm, comforting feeling people describe as the Spirit is something that only comes to me when listening to beautiful music. When I go to the Temple I LOVE the first half because the music is so beautiful, and I feel my heart swelling with happiness, and then it leaves during the second half and I wonder what the heck I'm doing.

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Jenamarie

Jenamarie

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That's the thing, I'm not sure. I don't know if it was really the HG, or just what I thought I was supposed to be feeling because the people around me were feeling the same way, and it's what I was always told growing up was the way I should feel when I'm in the Temple or listening to General Conference or whatever.

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skalenfehl

skalenfehl

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The warm, comforting feeling people describe as the Spirit is something that only comes to me when listening to beautiful music. When I go to the Temple I LOVE the first half because the music is so beautiful, and I feel my heart swelling with happiness, and then it leaves during the second half and I wonder what the heck I'm doing.

You've described perfectly what some of the fruits of the spirit are here...the comforting feeling and your heart swelling with happiness (joy). The Spirit touches us in different ways and at different times depending on our own readiness to receive it. While your heart may swell with happiness in the temple, the person next to you may only feel comfort while someone else may feel at peace from the stresses of the world. I've felt all of these in the temple or in church during hymns, or when I've helped someone in need, etc.

It is the Spirit communicating with us and strengthening us, confirming truths, speaking to our hearts, etc. Feeling the Spirit doesn't always have to be a lasting thing. It's almost as if Father in Heaven is embracing us for a moment and letting us know that He is aware of us before moving on. But we still have His light in us. I can honestly say that the more often that we communicate with Him, study the scriptures and align our will with His, the more at peace we are with the world and with Him and the more we have that happiness in our bosom.

I can also tell when the Spirit has departed from me, especially when I "slip" and sin. I feel anger, disconnected, out of place, nothing seems to go right and I get agitated. Everything feels wrong and I just have a bad day and it is because of my perspective. I realize then that it is because a portion of the Lord's Spirit that was with me is gone and I feel more alone to myself--to my own devices. I used to be really, really hard on myself and allowed my guilt to overwhelm me to the point that I thought I wasn't worth the Lord's trouble to forgive. I have learned, though, that this isn't how God wants me to be. So now I get on my knees, confess to the Lord, start reading in the scriptures, do my duties, sing hymns, whatever, to invite the Spirit back to comfort me until the days go by that the habit of the good things I just mention bring the Spirit back fully, because that sin or slip-up isn't really who I am or what is in my heart. It doesn't define me. It was a mistake and I forsake it and look forward to renewing my covenants at sacrament meeting.

Boy I can ramble...to bottom line it, from my experience, when the Lord communicates something to us, we will feel it warmly, strongly, joyfully, peacefully for a few moments. It is then that we need to listen and note the experience. Perhaps it was that hymn you were listening to or a talk you read in the Ensign or something a speaker said at church or something new you learned in temple. But otherwise for the most part you will note that with regular scripture study, constant personal prayer and aligning your will with the Lord's, your heart will feel lighter, happier, and at peace. You will be less quick to anger and more patient in things, especially with your family. You just feel....good inside. Glad of heart.

Best wishes.

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Jenamarie

Jenamarie

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You've described perfectly what some of the fruits of the spirit are here...the comforting feeling and your heart swelling with happiness (joy). The Spirit touches us in different ways and at different times depending on our own readiness to receive it. While your heart may swell with happiness in the temple, the person next to you may only feel comfort while someone else may feel at peace from the stresses of the world. I've felt all of these in the temple or in church during hymns, or when I've helped someone in need, etc.

It is the Spirit communicating with us and strengthening us, confirming truths, speaking to our hearts, etc. Feeling the Spirit doesn't always have to be a lasting thing. It's almost as if Father in Heaven is embracing us for a moment and letting us know that He is aware of us before moving on. But we still have His light in us. I can honestly say that the more often that we communicate with Him, study the scriptures and align our will with His, the more at peace we are with the world and with Him and the more we have that happiness in our bosom.

I can also tell when the Spirit has departed from me, especially when I "slip" and sin. I feel anger, disconnected, out of place, nothing seems to go right and I get agitated. Everything feels wrong and I just have a bad day and it is because of my perspective. I realize then that it is because a portion of the Lord's Spirit that was with me is gone and I feel more alone to myself--to my own devices. I used to be really, really hard on myself and allowed my guilt to overwhelm me to the point that I thought I wasn't worth the Lord's trouble to forgive. I have learned, though, that this isn't how God wants me to be. So now I get on my knees, confess to the Lord, start reading in the scriptures, do my duties, sing hymns, whatever, to invite the Spirit back to comfort me until the days go by that the habit of the good things I just mention bring the Spirit back fully, because that sin or slip-up isn't really who I am or what is in my heart. It doesn't define me. It was a mistake and I forsake it and look forward to renewing my covenants at sacrament meeting.

Boy I can ramble...to bottom line it, from my experience, when the Lord communicates something to us, we will feel it warmly, strongly, joyfully, peacefully for a few moments. It is then that we need to listen and note the experience. Perhaps it was that hymn you were listening to or a talk you read in the Ensign or something a speaker said at church or something new you learned in temple. But otherwise for the most part you will note that with regular scripture study, constant personal prayer and aligning your will with the Lord's, your heart will feel lighter, happier, and at peace. You will be less quick to anger and more patient in things, especially with your family. You just feel....good inside. Glad of heart.

Best wishes.

Thank you so very much for your rambling post. That's all I can bring myself to say right now.

ETA: gosh that sounded snarky. it's not.

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