LDSVALLEY

A quick baptism date does improve the numbers of people who make it to baptism. However it greatly increases the number of people who leave the church. A rough calculation told me that the quicker someone is baptized the higher the inactive rate. Generally speaking 1-3 months were the ones who had the best chance of staying active in the church. Most who waited past that time had a high percentage never getting baptized but still good activity for those who did. I guess it depends on what you look at. The number I received much (I feel undeserved) praise for was the number of baptisms in the Ward, we led the Stake. The number I am most pleased with was the retention rate over the two years a new convert is on the Ward Missionary List. We stood at 80-90% retention including a few 1 or 2 Sundays a month or 75-80% for solid attendance. And I personally believe that the more a person is involved and has ownership of their baptism the stronger the anchor that is created. In our Ward I did my best to prevent multiple baptisms of strangers and simply held more baptisms. Another way to look at it is this. Investigator take 1 Wants Mother at the Baptism Does not know if he is ready. The Missionaries are pushing a date for next week. Before the baptism the person is going to feel rushed and worried, after they will feel sad a parent could not attend and lacking in understanding of what happened. Great foundation to start a new gospel life. Investigator take 2 person sets a baptism date for 30 days from now when the mother can attend. The person gets to attend sacrament and Gospel Principle class a few times. The person gets to meet some of the members at church. The person gets to get in all four lessons with some time to ponder in between so they can prepare questions for the next session. The person gains more knowledge and thus has a better understanding of the gospel they are joining. The Missionary Group and other Leaders through personal contact and the Missionaries can get a better feel for the person being baptized. Home or Visit Teachers can be assigned so they can appear at the baptism. Time for the Investigator to invite other non member family and friends to attend. Person can have a hand in creating the baptism. Hymn's, Speakers, etc. Result Person has a great experience, is clearer of mind while going through the process, feels great that Mother was able to be there. And shows the importance the church puts on family. Feeling of being nurtured not pushed. Bonus The Mother and others provide a chance for new Investigators which would not happen with the quick rushed baptism.

In our Ward an auxiliary leader will submit a form to fill a calling after praying about that person. The Bishopric will then pray about it. If they get a yes then the calling is extended......Sounds simple.....but! There are times the Bishop will not even pray about the person they just refuse it. Times when multiple Leaders submit requests for the same person after praying, times when members are not extended a calling opportunity for long periods of time, some people stay in callings for years and years. IN my case the longest I ever kept a calling was my last one 3 years. My average length of service is 1 year. These things tell me that there are usually a number of people the Lord will accept for a calling. However as with all things we are to do the groundwork before taking it to the Lord. Often Leaders rush the process and simply pray about a person that comes to mind and asks if they are good for the calling. Usually the Lord is going to work with what you give him. If a Leader doesn't go through the steps of finding who would best fit the calling, unless it is someone familiar to take some time and find out the life situation and if the Bishop does not do the same thing then it is possible to not make the best choice. I have never refused a calling but have made it clear if a particular calling was extended I would refuse it. Last year I had a big calling and the Bishop hinted around about me taking on a second one so I bluntly told him 1 person 1 calling since we have enough members active to cover them. The last time we submitted a name for a second councilor the Bishop told the EQ President point blank that he would not get that person but had to take this one. So I guess I am no longer in 'training'. The long and short of it is :callings do come from the Lord. It is okay to refuse a calling. It is okay to ask for time to pray about accepting a alling. Itis okay to request a meeting with a Bishop to explain concerns or issues. It is okay to ask for time to speak to a spouse. If it is going to effect the entire family then you should all pray to the Lord together and ask him for direction. Rarely is it a good time to accept a calling. Although some times are worse then others. But don't decide a spiritual matter with Earthly thinking. Deal with spiritual matters with spiritual thinking.

As a former Ward Mission Leader here is the advice I have given Investigators dealing with your question. 1 Missionaries are trained to seek a baptism date to give you a goal. Some Missionaries translate that into a quick upcoming date. Others into setting a date even if it is a month or two away. 2 I personally believe that potential members should set a date quickly but no earlier then 4 weeks away to give them time to absorb all four Missionary Lessons. When I was mission leader the Bishop had a rule that someone had to attend sacrament and gospel principle class at least three times before a baptism date. 3 Don't be put off with the idea of setting a date if you feel this seems the correct path, but also don't feel pressured into getting baptized quickly or before you are ready. Some people take a week and get baptized some several years. From what I have seen those who take longer tend to last in the church because they have an understanding of the commitment involved and a better appreciation of the blessings that will come. 4 We are each different, do what feels best for you. Think of the different options then pray to the Lord about each one and be guided by him. It may be quick or slow but the Lord will guide you. 5 The main thing is pray and also to continue to learn, the roots of the gospel will anchor you into the soil allowing you to stand against the winds and storms of life. Never be afraid to tell the missionaries or members what you want it is not their salvation or their baptism it is yours. When my wife and I were baptized 15 years ago the Missionaries handled everything, we had no say in hymns, speakers, topics, we had only been to church once and that was just sacrament. To this day I have no idea who baptized me, what hymns were sung or who was there other then a couple non member friends we invited. As Mission Leader I made sure the persons getting baptized were involved in their day and as long as things were within the church guidelines it was tailored to them as much as possible. Because I didn't have ownership of my conversion I took 4 years after baptism to stop being a new convert! 6 Last do not become discouraged, the gospel is a life changing thing, while at times I have issue with a leader or an organizational issue I have never linked that into the truthfulness of the gospel and the blessings it has given my family. At times it can seem a burden but the blessings in the long run are so worth the occasional headache.

I don't disagree with having some cash funds. Cash is the most diverse component of storage. My comments were as humans we get tempted easy and having large sums of money sitting around makes it easy to either spend what we shouldn't or run up consumer debt knowing we have that money to fall back on. I believe that food storage or paying extra on a bill is a form of savings. It is just not as easily transferable and thus less tempting to spend it. When I was unemployed I did not have a large bank account, with a family of 5 it was going out almost as fast as it was coming in while I was working. However because we had a large food storage the funds I did get after I lost my job was able to be diverted to other areas and did not need to go into food. I was able to delay applying for unemployement for over a month because we had enough extra paid on our bills to allow us the luxury of time. That gave me a chance to find a term position in a field I really wanted to try. And again extended my UI benifits for a longer period. Even now we are extremely tight on money and I have not paid our cable bill for three months yet have not gotten a bill yet. They only send out a bill when you owe money. But I had paid an extra $4.00 each month on the bill and so had created a surplus and now that money is tight that $35.00 a month has been going elsewhere. Each person has to taylor thier storage, prepardness plan based on individaul need and situation. I don't believe in whole life or universal life insurance, I beilve in term insurance and investing the rest. However someone who has a family history of serious medical problems might be better off getting whole or univeral policies to insure they can get insurance later on in years. Someone in an extremely hot enviorment most likely can't create a large food storage due to heat so they should create a larger cash reserve then someone living in a colder enviroment.

I disagree with this point. I know NO ONE who has ever been able to scrape up six months living expenses. Once people get a few thousand in the bank it gets spent. We survived 9 months of me not working on Unemployement insurance (I was only earning $9.00 hr previous.) with a family of 5. We had very little money in the bank. We survived by having ten months or so of food storage, having very little debt and puttng a few extra cents on the phone power etc each month for 3 years.

I saw the new list that is supposed to start for September. My companion and I will have 3 families to visit each month. So as not to have the so called "strong members" ignored I have 4 of them to call on the phone once every quarter. While I have been very vocal on my opinion and concerns both verbal and in writting about this new program. And the fact that since it was announced both the EQ and HP Home Teaching has gone down to below 5% taught. I know for my family we are in a very tight spot at present but we are avoiding telling our "home teachers" so we don't get put on the need to visit monthly list as we are on the quarterly call list. I believe in trying to change or point out issues where I can. Now that it is formalized and being implemented next week I am keeping my opinions to myself from this point on and working to help implement it as my role as a councillor in EQ.

It was annoying but it worked. What we did with our Queen mattress was flip it and the plywood up against the dresser at the foot of the bed and rotate the food only once a month. I would spend 30min to 60min moving stuff around, adding in new items, taking out the oldest etc. Annoying but when my job, the only source of income for my family, disappeared a year or so later we were able to sustain ourselves for 9 months, take care of my mentally ill Father and move to a better place to raise our children because we started out doing this with the only space we had in our small apartment. We were still learning in the church but food storage started to nag at me every day. I used the no money no space excuses with myself but it got worse and worse so I finally gave in and started it. Because I knew I had to do this I found a way. It was annoying, a pain in the butt, more effort then I wanted to take on at that time. But my Father (I am not making this up) would have been dead in 2001, my family would not have had the advantages the move gave us and I would have had to take the first crappy job I could get if I had not have taken on that annoying under the bed storage to get us started. The biggest thing with food storage is this DO SOMETHING TODAY!, DO SOMETHING TOMORROW ! THEN DO SOMETHING THE NEXT DAY !

Update....so far The "change" keeps getting put off now it is supposed to start Sept 1. Our EQ Home Teaching is being slaughtered in the mean time. 2 of 30 assigned families taught for July. We (EQ Presidency) met with the High Council visitor during a change in 2nd councilor. He was released last year from our Stake Presidency after I think 8 years. According to him this policy was sent out 10-12 years ago but no Stake had ever put it into practice. When we explained our concerns he said we should never stop visiting members. We should obey the Bishop of course but find ways to continue Home Visiting those who are off the list. So we shall have to see in a few weeks what the change will be or if another postponement is in order.

1 Tithing 2 Pay off debt. 3 Mission-school fund for 3 kids. 4 Help out immediate family. 5 Retirement funding. 6 Increase emergency storage. 7 New or improve old house. 8 Set up a perpetual Mission Fund in our Ward or Stake to assist those who can't afford missions. 9 Contributions to temple fund, perpetual education fund etc. 10 1970's Corvette T top or convertible for my wife and a 66-69 Mustang convertible for me! 11 A shopping spree at Cardston Books and the church distribution center. 12 Buy the Ward a Bus for the MANY non driving members we have! That would be the short list.

You seem to be still trying to find a way to have both worlds. Instead of looking at that try looking at your situation as a balance sheet. Take four pieces of paper, on 1 title it - Why I can't or don't go to church. On 2 Why I should or want to go to church. 3 The benefit or gain I get from the reasons listed on 1. On page 4 the benefit or gain you would get from page 2. What ever the transgression there is a payoff for you otherwise you would not still do it. You desire to return so you must feel there is a payoff for that as well. The first two pages give the specific reasons of each choice. The last two pages are the effects of it. Include things like temporary embarrassment for having to see the Bishop etc but include the most likely outcome. (short term trial for long term gain for example.) Put aside the pages for a week, pray about them, study the scriptures if you still read, then revisit the lists, talk to your boyfriend about them if you have that kind of relationship. Then decide which payoff is more appealing to you. Use a fifth sheet of paper to create simple steps to take more fully the path you desire, if it's to continue the transgression then give up the church and get on with life. Or do it the other way if it's to return to the fold. I don't mean to suggest it is an easy path no matter which one is chosen, but either is far better then to sit on the fence and put your life on hold creating more guilt and confusion especially when planning a new life. Get it settled now before marriage so you do not bring this burden into your new relationship. And if you decide to attend church you are under no obligation to talk about your past, or mention you are even a member if you wish at first. The service might draw you closer or further from the church depending on which gets stronger the guilt or the testimony from attending. Until you do something concrete about this you will remain in a holding pattern, existing not living, you can not start a new married life without resolving this on within yourself. It will simply add to the pressure you feel. I hope you find the path best for you no matter what it is. You and your future husband deserve it.

Our Ward area is around 80miles (120km) by 50 miles (80km) in size. We have around 100 active members and 300 on the ward list (many of whom are not actually around). Both groups include children as well. Most people show up 10 min. or less before service and everyone leaves immediately after. We rely on a core of about 50 members to keep things running. We tend to be a group of several clicks bundled together in a ward. Geographically we are really 3 Wards based on territory and member-population distribution. From 2006 until 2009 our baptism rate was 10-12, 2009 down to 8 and so far this year 0. Our retention rate went from 25% in 2006 up to 80-90% for 2007-2008 but now is down to around 40%. Halifax a few years ago was the same situation but more fluid with lots of move in and outs due to high military percentage and university students. Often people stop coming for weeks before anyone notices. Because we don't follow how we are supposed to set up Home Teaching we have mostly HP HT EQ and vise versa or many mixed teaching teams. For example the EQ provides 40% of the manpower in companionships but only has 25% of the reporting teams since so many are mixed. This means it is hard to get Home Teachers to check up on an EQ member who has not appeared for a few weeks since often the teachers are in HP and don't notice. So it falls on the leadership who are very busy to notice. For a small close knit branch you are doing a manner of Home and Visit teaching, you have limited resources so you should make exceptions. Just as all home teaching require some exception to the norm for local conditions. It's just bad when doing it the way it should be done is the exception.

I was told directly by the Bishop that he had taken a marker and crossed off every "strong" family in the Ward and all Sisters in 'strong families" He said anyone with both a husband and wife active members who are not new members have been taken off the list. My wife is involved with organizing Visiting Teaching and she said her lists had lots and lots of black marker lines on it. As an aside the EQ President did say the Bishop said those "strong" families were not to be ignored but since they are not part of the Home Teaching Program the Leaders are going to have to pick up the slack somehow. If the changes are from the Prophet then yes they are binding. That was my point in trying to find out if it is or not.

The Irony is the statistics are already proving this won't work like the Stake hopes. A few months ago it was mentioned that we were to concentrate on those who need Home or Visit Teachers the most. That the numbers were not important and that the Stake Visitors would no longer worry about Teaching Stats. Two months ago the Stake talked to our Ward during Ward Conference about this. Last month they mentioned off hand that Bishops etc didn't need Home Teaching at all. Now this month the Bishop is crossing dozens of names off the home and visit teaching lists. During that time period the EQ Home Teaching statistics have been in a steep decline. It got so bad that only 5% of the companionships even reported the Stats to the EQ secretary for April or May. I PPI'd the EQ teams we have and found that over the last two months that over 1/2 of the teams did not do any home teaching. Only one team in the last two months even managed to get 100% in any month. When I tried to get some encouragement about June one EQ member said why bother. He knew the change is coming, all his families are "strong" so why waste the time this month when he loses them next month. People don't stop and think okay since I only have "weak" families I have to put more effort in. They see that it is not important since not everyone needs it therefore unless they are very strong they are less inclined to Home Teach not more. I'm actually debating requesting not to be assigned as a Home Teacher when the change is implemented and find someone like minded to go with me and teach as many of the "Strong" members as I could manage. On the other hand if the Leadership see's and feels the effects in their homes and in the Ward maybe they will rethink the scheme. So I haven't decided yet.

When Halifax tried this, just with Home Teaching, the percentage of Home Teaching visits of those assigned took a nose dive. I believe they said it reached the lowest percentage ever seen. Then it took a couple of years to get it turned around when they switched back to the "old way." This is my second time as a councilor in EQ. My honest belief is since we have not organized Home Teaching in the manner the Lord has laid out for us we will NEVER have success. We need to run our auxiliaries as the Lord has told us, we need to organize Home Teaching his way. Then we need to endure and the Lord provides the rest. We need to stop trying to invent a new wheel and use the one the Lord gave us. We need to keep the strong core strong, then direct that strength outward to the others. Not just through Home or Visit Teaching but in how we bring in and deal with those members or potential members in our Wards or Branches. We should insure that those who most need Home or Visit teachers have the best companion teams we can, but we should never exclude anyone who want and deserve Home or Visit Teachers. As one Sister told my wife when she found out about this. ( She is one who will not have Home or Visit teachers since her and her husband are strong in the gospel.)" I have a new child at home, my husband is at work, as much as I love my child I looked forward to my Visiting teachers each month. It gave me other Women to talk to and get advice from. It is my support system and a big connection with the Gospel." This from a strong second generation member with family on both sides of her new family in the Ward. So what happens to the family without the ties?

My original Ward tried this several years ago and it was a horrible failure which took years to bounce back from. I can understand the desire and the goal that the Stake or whoever is launching this has. But in goes counter to what the Lord tells us how to Home and Visit Teach therefore it can not work. Common sense also tells me it can not achieve the goals they want. Here are some of the concerns expressed in our Ward. They are not all mine by the way, both the EQ and RS Leaderships have severe reservations about it as do others. - We are instructed to teach all members that we might guard against back biting, evil speaking. Look after the needs of each other. Provide the eyes and ears for the Bishop and other leaders. Etc. - Who determines who is strong or weak in the Ward? The Bishop based on information from what source? Sacrament attendance? Tithing settlement? Personal Interviews with each member on a regular bases? - As Halifax found out it creates a social division and lets everyone in the ward know who is weak or strong! People left the gospel from being deemed one or the other. - Putting someone on the list after being off it tells everyone there is issues in the home. - Where do you send new or not strong Home or Visit Teachers to go teach? Should we really send a new convert who is trying to change a life style into a home of a less active or someone with major issues? -How does this encourage semi active home or visit teachers to go out when they don't get any in. -In generates more negative response when a Home Teacher is willing to go out. At least with a blend of strong and weaker teams who were willing could get in some visits each month. -We reduce member contact with members. -I disagree with the Stake saying leaders, Bishops etc don't need Home Teachers anyway. Those who give heavily of their time and resource are most in need of the visits from Home or Visit Teachers. They are the ones who must to some degree neglect family members to help ward members. - We learn most from example, no matter how long a member what example to we see when no one comes to visit? What reminders to we Priesthood holders have to do our duty when we see nothing done for us. -Minor issues that used to be dealt with by Home or Visit teachers will now add to the burden of the Auxiliary leaders and Bishopric. -There are always members who appear strong but are only a short step from inactivity. Many people leave because they feel they are not noticed. Now the leaders will be telling them they are purposely being ignored for the squeaky wheel. These are the main ones, there are more.

Over the last few months the Stake has talked about major changes to how we Home Teach. It is now getting to the final stages in our Ward and will be implemented next month I believe. Someone mentioned yesterday it was not from our Stake but from Salt Lake City. I just wanted to know if any other Stakes - Wards have been told to do this because many in our Ward myself included have lots of issue with this. The purpose of the changes are to try and make sure that all our Home and Visit teaching resources go to those most in need. Any Sister or any families considered "strong" are being removed from Home and Visit Teaching lists. So the only people on the lists will be those who are "weak" in the gospel, have welfare needs, are less active or inactive. Widows or single parent families or part member families. Most of the ones who are active Home or Visit teachers are those who will no longer have Home or Visit teachers. But they will then be given those "weak" etc ones to go and visit. Is this happening in any of your Wards or Stakes?

As a child there is a song from a Christmas show that I have always loved. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking cross the floor. Just put one foot in front of the other, and soon you'll be walking out the door. The first round it is sung very slowly. 'just.........put.......one.....(etc). The person very slowly and carefully puts one foot down then the other etc. The second round is sung at normal speed and the person is walking normal. The point to the song is we never get anywhere if we don't do something. And the second is we don't start off on anything running. We have to stand, know which direction we want to go, see how others are doing it, carefully begin to move forward, the more we practice the easier it becomes and the faster we can travel, the more automatic it becomes. The church can seem overwhelming if you try and do all things at once. Simply do one or two things, attend church regularly and spend 10 minutes after church reading scripture for example. As you become used to that add in other things. You will also find that activities that you are trying to fit church things around may become less important as you grow in the gospel and you free up time from them to devote to God. Don't compare yourself to others. Don't worry about others who might compare yourself to them. Don't worry about what others are doing. Set a plan of what you will do but don't do more then you are able or ready to do at this step. We learn step by step, lesson upon lesson, scripture study upon scripture study, activity upon activity, service upon service. I've been a member for the last 1/3 of my life and I am still learning and growing, still having to put one foot in front of the other. Some things are now automatic others I can run, others walk, others I am still slow and wobbly, and some I've yet to stand up to attempt. But I have walked further down the road then when I first started. Just take one small step at a time.

We have to remember that some steps we climb are easy shallow and not steep. Others are narrow, go in circles, dark, uneven, steep and long hard climbs. In Earthly life as in spiritual life there is only two options. When we slip while climbing a set of steps to our goals we can either pick ourselves up, no matter how many we have slipped down, or continue to go down them. It is embarrassing when others see us slip down some steps, it is exhausting when we have worked hard to climb so many steps only to fall back down. Often when we slip and try to start up again not only are we tired but we carry the burden of our actions on our backs as extra weight. Each time we slip we gain more weight. It is harder to show remorse for a slip when instead of us being focused on what we did as the negative we realize the extra burden we will shoulder and have to try to take that step yet again and again and again. That is why the incorrect choice doesn't feel so bad, it is because the process you need to take seems exhausting since you just finished it again. The Lord will lift your burden from you if you allow him too and you take the time to strengthen yourself so you can make the climb yet again. We begin as always by putting one foot in front of the other. One concern I would have, I grew up non LDS until late twenties, is that at least from the way you put it. The two of you have made mistakes but you are the one repenting from them. He is equally the cause of your slipping off the step. Now you have the additional task of figuring out is he to be a support and help for you to continue to climb or yet another burden pulling you down? We can not change others, we can only change ourselves. It is not a question of love, or desire but what both want out of our short existence on Earth and much longer one afterward. You have fallen a few steps a couple of times and know how much that hurts. If you continue to fall down them all you have done is wasted. And the fall will hurt more each slip. God is there to provide a railing to help you climb. To provide light to see where to place your foot, to smooth the steps to ease the climb. BUT only YOU can take that step, then the next and the next no matter how long, no matter how tiring, no matter how hard. Turn to those who can help you lay your burdens at your feet and help you up one step at a time. No matter whom they might be. Those who would hold onto you, pull at you, or want you to come down to them you have to turn away from. Turn and climb the right way, the help is there, the choice is yours.

show up early, stand outside the main doors and open it for people coming in for Sunday sacrament. Gives you a chance to say hi to people, be seen as helpful, and doesn't create awkward conversations where you have to over come your shyness and figure out what to say. As you become more noticed by members and as you become more familiar with members it lowers your fear and allows you to ease into finding solid friends. It worked for me.

Sorry, I'm not better then you. I just refuse to let others dictate my relationship with the Lord. Why should I allow another persons sins prevent me from spending time in the Temple with the Lord. It's the same with those who give up the Sacrament and eternal happiness because someone at church offended them. It's like people think well you offended me or your a sinful person but I got even by avoiding you. So I don't get the sacrament, I don't get eternity, I don't get to be in the Temple, I don't get to associate with the many good Saints But don't you feel bad that you caused me to lose all these many blessings. Mind you 95% of the time the offender or sinner has no knowledge of this but somehow people think they are getting even. I go to the temple and church for me and for my family. My time in the temple is focused on the Lord and whatever issues I brought in. I don't tend to talk even in whispers to anyone during sessions or in the celestrial room. That is time for me and the Lord to commune together. I'm to spiteful to let any idiot take that away from me. It's my time, I worked to earn the right to be in the temple there is no way I will allow someone else's stupidity to deny me the rewards for that work. Here is a suggestion. Go to the temple early, sit in a back corner seat, close your eyes and commune with the Lord until the session starts. During the session simply focus on the workers and ignore those around you. If you only go where worthy people are you will never go anywhere. Since you obviously are going places where those who sin are then isn't the temple the best place to go no matter who is there? It is your life to live as you choose of course but we can't decide others actions only our reaction to them. I choose the selfish route, I choose my path no matter who else is traveling the same direction. May you find peace and joy

To enter the temple requires (after a year of membership of course) a person answering a series of questions. There is no investigation into the honesty of the answers, therefore people who do not deserve to attend are able to do so. But that is between them and the Lord to account for. They are still doing work for people who are deserving of the blessings. Our local leaders are human and do things or make choices about others worthiness that are not always in line with Leadership Instruction just as each of us on occasion make choices not in harmony with the Gospel. Yet the Lords church is perfect, how can that be? Simple his plan allows for us to be human but still work out properly in the end. I have attended when there have been people I felt should not be there for various reasons, so what. I attend 1 for my own benefit, 2 to draw closer to God, 3 to benefit those gone before us. To think less of the temple or avoid attending because I felt someone was not worthy of being there for whatever reason is to allow their bad choices to harm me. That's giving someone else the power to decide my relationship to my Lord. Thanks but no thanks, I'd rather sit beside a potential child molester and ignore him then stay home and ignore the Lord because of him.

We were new members and knew nothing about the temple when ours was constructed. We went to the open house during the last day and almost the last hour. Have kicked myself over the years since. When we walked out of the tour I wanted to grab every relative I had in the city and take them through. Glad you got a chance to see one, it is a wonderful place to feel the spirit even before it is dedicated.

Like all things the more you go the more you want to go and the stronger you feel the spirit. The less you go the more a pain it is to go and the less you feel the desire. I'm 90 min. from the temple and have to get up at 630am on a Saturday when I work night shifts Sun to Thurs it can be rough to get motivated. My oldest daughter (14) and I went to a baptism day today, alas only 5 youth showed which is the lowest I have ever seen for our Ward. As much as I didn't feel like going last night now I can't wait to make another trip! the Children are soon getting old enough to allow my wife and I to make the trip, I never enjoy the full sessions without her with me, it seems like something is missing when I do. In a few months our second child will be 12 and able to go with myself and older daughter.

The few EQ groups that are under EQ do report to the EQ and we have that. At present that constitutes 2 of the EQ Presidentcy (I'm actually now in a mixed HP-EQ companionship as well but made it clear as an EQ Councilor I needed to report to the EQ so they made an exception and put us under EQ not HP.) Our other Councilor is reporting to HP. 1 secretary and 3 EQ members. That's it the rest are blended with HP and report to HP. We are trying to nurture those we can but we can't easily even find out if our EQ assigned to HP companionship's are even going out or not. The list changes almost every month so even the historical info can't be relied on to indicate if a specific person carried out their teaching or not because other then MLS which only tracks based on current companionships, we have no record of past companionships and how well they did. The President could most likely get permission from the Bishop for the HP report, they have gotten very tight about what they release, but since the assigned Home Teachers don't report to their Quorum we don't get hard information. The HPGL is active in his calling but doesn't worry about paperwork. Things like PPI's etc are low on his priority. His focus has mostly been on the Family History side. The temple is his priority which is wonderful but it makes it hard for us to focus on stuff that he has the control of information over.

There is a reason your Branch President gave you a limited use temple recommend after you told him how you felt. You've prayed for help with this, the Lord uses others often to provide us the answers we seek. If he gave you one then you are worthy to use it in the eyes of the Lord. You are not cheating the system but saving souls by being involved in Baptism. It is the place you can feel the spirit of the Lord strongest even in the Baptism font. We as humans put up barriers to ourselves. THE LORD IS TRYING TO HELP YOU. HE HAS DECIDED YOUR ABILITY TO ENTER THE TEMPLE. GO TO THE TEMPLE AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN AND AS SOON AS YOU CAN. TRUST IN THE LORD AND LET THE REST TAKE CARE OF ITSELF I know from personal experience how hard it can be to feel worthy of the Lord's blessings. How it can question your testimony when you feel you are unworthy of the Holy Ghost. Reading between the lines you are searching for a big light going on that tells you things are true. I don't know you at all but I know from the things you are saying you are doing that your soul knows the truth. If you deep down did not believe the church was true you would have no struggle with being worthy or not for the temple. It is not the big bright stuff most people talk about it is the quite still moments. People born into the church have more of a struggle then adult converts like me because it is so different it is easy to tell. Those raised in the gospel have a constant companionship which makes it hard to feel for yourself because it is part of you.