Windseeker

I don't disagree with what you say, but on the other side have you ever watch undercover bosses? It might just be the show but it seems like they all walk away a bit more enlightened. I'm not saying our Church leaders need to go undercover or anything. I just don't know if corporate structure is an appropriate comparison to a Church lead by revelation.

I think it's unfortunate that it's become so acceptable to dismiss an individuals ability to sympathize or empathize due to their differing race or sex or age. This is a product of the fake tolerance of the left and their efforts to gain power by sowing division and pitting one group against another. It grinds against the belief that some jew who lived and died thousands of years ago could ever relate with me. The only way you can truly tell whether or not a person is out of touch is by their behavior.

@mickydo Can you please explain to me what compels a person who does not believe in works to expend the work and effort to condemn works in the first place? Is not preaching and evangliizing this principle a work in and of itself? I mean if you really believe there is no point in works then why bother doing anything, least of all bothering those who actually want to do some good in the world. If a person truly believes no action is necessary other than proclaiming Jesus is the Christ, then what is the purpose in commandments and repentance? How does one who does not believe in works take up the Cross and follow the Savior without doing the things he did?

"Mormons can only be saved in and through Jesus Christ." You can run with that one. Here is a good talk that I think clarifies how LDS feel. Have You Been Saved? by Dallin H. Oaks

My ex-wife was Thai-Vietnamese and so my children are half asian. My daughter said she's the hit of BYU-H library where she works as she keeps having Thai students approach her and ask her about her ethnicity. Evidently asians find mixed asians fascinating. My youngest son has the darkest skin of my kids and my half-mexican nephew and his little half-hatian (black) brother live with me. So even in Florida we generate some odd looks when out in public. Florida has allot of mixed couples. The Bishop of the ward just south of us is black and married to a white women and they are in their early 30's.

Ever heard of someone serving 3 missions to the same area? My uncle did. He served two Navajo speaking missions before he was married then one with his wife after he retired.

Japan Okayama Mission (Hiroshima) early nineties. Yeah I learned Japanese and actually went back pretty often for the next 10 years which kept my Japanese up. It's fading now, unfortunately.

Well from a mans perspective this young lady's struggle has blessed her with a sympathy, understanding and patience that is completely void in many LDS women and could make her a more desirable companion. Imagine the kind of honest and open communication enjoyed in that marriage and the wisdom to approach and navigate the inevitable challenges that are a part of life. A sensible approach geared at overcoming, forgiveness and healing rather then the self-righteous family destroying pharisaical meltdown so often shared on this site. I'm obviously not recommending someone purposely chain themselves down in misery on purpose just positing this question, what good is our worthiness and purity if all it does is cause us to reach out and grasp the nearest stone to throw whenever those we are commanded to love (which I think is everybody and especially our spouses) slip and fall and reach out to us for forgiveness and help?

To the OP: No matter how you feel about your wife's reactions or your Bishops decisions, your best plan of action is to bear all things with humility. I've been thru this myself and my wife's reaction was such that she lost her husband, her children and her standing with the church. It was my sin that triggered this, and the pain it's brought about is almost immeasurable but I can tell you first hand that if you remain humble and Christlike and hand your life over to your Heavenly Father it will all turn out for good. I remarried soon after my divorce and after years of difficulty in a mixed family have never felt so very loved and understood and am amazed to find it grows more and more as the years go by. If you are truly repentant, your wife will either decide to forgive you or she will heap upon herself her own destruction (to put it bluntly). Your wife is a free agent and must decide on her own to either accept or reject the Savior. It's up to you to make sure you are well along the right path to help her along and not become a stumbling block for her. Now that you have repented, it's up to you to help your wife by showing unconditional love, long-suffering, patience, kindness and humbly withstanding her wrath till time, experience and a greater understanding of the gospel brings about a change of heart. You are doing the right thing by seeing the Bishop together.

I just want you to know that by far you are not the only one to struggle with this. The nature of this sin is that you are caught in the cycle of sin and self comfort. You sin, feel depressed and then go back to the sin to comfort yourself. You're losing faith because you are losing hope. Certainly all the things you have experienced ought to testify in a very personal and profound way that the things you have been taught are true. The gospel explains perfectly everything you are experiencing and the way out. As Zil kindly pointed out you are forgiven as you have faith and repent. But it does not mean this challenge is just going to disappear. Let me be clear, YOU WILL STRUGGLE WITH THIS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. It is the thorn in your side. You are in this life and subject to your own weakness that you can learn to make them strengths. But you will have to fight and you will have to fight until you find rest back in your Heavenly Father's arms. It's what this life is for. Be grateful you at least know the "Why" of all this. Many do not. In all your experience at Church did you not notice that the very center of our faith, Jesus Christ, was alone, depressed , and that he even he wanted to give up, but he chose our Fathers will instead. Did you really believe it would be any easier for you, or anyone else that chose to come to this earth (that'd be everyone btw)? We came to experience life and to be subjected to the consequences of our own bad choices but also the poor choices of others. How else were we to learn compassion, forgiveness and all the other attributes we desired. The fact is the Church can only do so much. We are each required to take up our own crosses whether they are placed upon us or fashioned with our own hands. Those perfect people you see at church are just imperfect people who each bear their own cross and are trying to put their best face forward, hiding their tears with smiles and their insecurities with hugs and handshakes. What makes you so special that you feel you don't belong among them? They, much like you, are just trying to make it thru another week. By smiling they are putting their burdens aside and trying to lift others, yet I think most saints feel alone, like you. My advice - If you haven't seen the Bishop I would first recommend that. To be frank you are not taking advantage of the very atonement you have been taught your whole life. Study the atonement. Also sign up for this program (fortify). Check into Secular forum for those who struggle These are tools to supplement your faith in overcoming the challenges you have and help you become better at fighting. I know you are loved by your Heavenly Father, so very much.

Mass Effect 1-3 ...all day long Can't wait for Mass Effect Andromeda!

He said "I personally see very little difference between seeing my spouse in person and in a picture." And this is the danger of our culture of pornography (when I say pornography I mean pornography and the act that follows). We are being conditioned to respond to images everywhere we look. Social media, Technology, Advertisement, and Entertainment are replacing real human interaction with a counterfeit to the point that countries like Japan are so saturated with pornography that they are experiencing an economic crisis as more and more men prefer to be with themselves then be with a women. There is a growing movement of non-religious individuals that are personally discovering the dangers of pornography and it's effect on their brain. (see Internet Porn Addiction Interview with former Google employee *warning respectful adult discussion*) The chemicals that are released when being intimate (with ourselves or another) are very powerful and actually change the brain. Also it's been discovered that there are different chemicals released when we are intimate with another person then when we engage in pornography. Not only is there a spiritual difference there is actually a real physical difference as well. Could there be divine purpose in that? So under this context and the fact that I'm also in the same boat as the OP I don't get the point of intimate pictures. What purpose would they serve? I personally want to remain in what I consider a natural state and only respond to my wife's touch, not to an image or a voice or a text. Of course my heart leaps when I see my wife's image or hear her voice, smell her perfume or when we text. I want to miss her and long for her but not to lust her and so again, I don't see the purpose of intimate photo's. I'll concede that if you are going to be intimate "long distance" it's preferable to do so with your wife rather then a stranger, obviously a no brainer (and frustrates me to no end that I even have to say it). But every time you do so you are conditioning your brain with a counterfeit and it's proven to have negative consequences. So yes, I think if we see little difference in our physical and emotional reactions when seeing an image of our spouse naked verses seeing them in person we ought to consider how we are conditioned and perhaps ask ourselves why we are trying to arouse and torment ourselves when our spouse is no where nearby and to what end. So for me I'm tending my relationship as I see fit in a manner that I ensure I remain programmed to my wife's physical presence and not a counterfeit. I simply offer my opinion and experience and I do not Judge the OP or anyone else and wish everyone the best as they tend to their own marriages.

Well frankly there ought to be.

Generally I agree, but I think its naive to believe that porn affects how men view and treat women but nakid pictures of my spouse won't affect how I view or treat her.

There are proper and improper ways of sharing intimacy. The proper ways will bless and strengthen the marriage. The improper ways have their consequences, regardless of Joe and Jane Internets opinion and no matter how consensual the act is. A greater number of extremely secular millennials are discovering and speaking out about the pitfalls of indulging in pornography. There are even studies now showing how it affects the brain. Theses studies have lead to discoveries that show the chemicals released when engaging in sexual activity remotely vs physically are different. Specifically there are chemicals when men and women are together which counteracts and calms the impact of dopamine. My point is if the secular world is waking up to the dangers inherent with certain activities and their relation to depression and the negative impact it has on our ability to perform physically then surely LDS people who have been counseled to follow the spirit and maintain a spiritually healthy relationship ought to know better than to proclaim any and every consensual means of attaining climax in marriage is blessed from above. Since intimacy is about sharing, what exactly are you sharing with your spouse by engaging in solo intimacy while looking at a sexualized picture of her? How is it not selfish?

Here are just a couple things I find wrong with this. 1. Re-wiring the brain to respond to images rather than direct physical contact and that person to person emotional(spiritual) connection. 2. Objectification of your spouse will change your relationship as you become less responsive to her as a thinking, feeling human being. 3. Thru habit your focus in the relationship is increasingly governed solely by your needs not your partners. (Becoming selfish, self-focused) It's the danger inherent with pornography whether or not the images are of your spouse or a stranger. I do understand how hard it is, I'm currently living separately from my wife for a year and seeing her at least once a month is absolutely worth the $200-$400 we have to sacrifice each month to see each other.

The premise of Satanism is that we are no different then animals. It's Satan's greatest and most destructive idea. However, they are far far less effective at ministering this lie then the Democratic party, Hollywood and other card carrying members of the Great and Spacious building. I doubt these guys would even be allowed past the front door, they are a joke. But if you consider the great lie, then you will see it's been part of school curriculum for hundreds of years. The best way to combat this is teaching in the home. "I am a Child of God, and he has sent me Here".

I think they should simply ban all religious\political\gender or race based clubs at school. If kids want to meet they can take the initiative to find somewhere other than public schools to do it.

I almost think they have so embraced their emotions over principle and logic that they have lost their self-awareness and are in the process of de-evolving. Do they ever stop to consider how absolutely disgustingly bigoted, racist and classist they are. I'm grateful to look at my mixed kids and their cousins and know that the desperate leeching of every area of division by these race mongers eventually has to end and everyone will realize how vapid and tired their arguments are. http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2016/07/27/black-dnc-protest-tells-crowd-white-people-to-back.html

Stuck in traffic I got to stare at this on the back of a truck. It's stupidity on a scale that is almost poetic. To state your opposition in a way that bolsters and emboldens the same thing you oppose...is just...well ...what can you say...Mexican?

I'm pretty sure God creating the universe is not "speculation at best" Worlds without Number

I consider myself pretty athletic, my junior year of High School I beat out all the seniors and was first string wide receiver on a football team in a triple A school. I remember wanting number 99 on my jersey because it was the largest number you could get and hearing my peers comment about how it's so'n'so's number. I had no idea who they were talking about because the concept of watching sports for fun made no sense when you could play them. I had no idea who were the good or bad football teams or who the star players were. I just never got into it. So even though I've played team sports I don't really get the hype of watching them. I prefer solo sports like kite-boarding, surfing and really anything. I do watch gymnastics, snowboarding and downhill skiing and track when I get a chance during the Olympics but I hardly follow them. I also enjoy MMA but during the earlier years, now I think it's overproduced and too much emphasis on drama. I know what it feels like to be on the outside when it comes to team sports. It got even more uncomfortable during the years I worked for the airlines, being a minority straight male flight attendant hanging out in the back while all the female and gay attendants having a lively conversation about this team or that team and then all of them looking at me expectantly for some testosterone fueled insight into the latest and getting nothing but crickets was awkward to say the least.

Connie, I think you're great and I think the relationship you mentioned is what everyone ought to strive for.

I understand the anger, we don't want to see anyone get away with anything, do we, but I personally don't think that sentiment comes from a place of righteousness. Knowing the damage it can cause to FAMILIES, knowing the majority of LDS women in particular are profoundly ill equipped to manage the realities of the nature of mens weaknesses, surprising since they manage to revere men who indulged in polygamy, I think LDS men ought to tread carefully when confessing their weakness to their wives. How are men who so easily divulge their weakness to their wives without any consideration of their feelings any different then a spouse that divulges she no longer loves you or finds you attractive or thinks your fat..isn't that another betrayal that OUGHT to be confessed. Many of the answers I've read in this thread remind me of the quote from Conan when asked What is best in life? Conan: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women. Evidently we have not repented until our women lament. While the scriptures may prophesy that hidden things shall be revealed, there is no basis for us shouting sins (ours or others) from the rooftops. Actually doing so would most likely be a sin...aka What is gossip and why is it evil?. Knowing the sins of our leaders (i.e. Bill Clinton) improved our situation? The fact that it's happening shows it's only accelerated the degeneration of society and done nothing to improve it. A prophesy is not a commandment. As I quoted earlier..and just because something is true does not mean we are obliged to divulge it to others. So I think using the rooftop reference to encourage people to share their sins with their spouses is the wrong way to go about it.

I was reading with my daughter in Alcoholics Anonymous and it discusses the importance of confession and this jumped out at me "...we can not disclose anything to our wives or our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy. We have no right to save our own skin at another expense. Such parts of our story we tell to someone who will understand, yet be unaffected. The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others. I think this is what I'm getting at. My concern is that there are those who struggle with this who get the idea it's perfectly acceptable to torment their wives with a constant barrage of confession with no thought or consideration of the burden it places. I've seen too often right here on this very forum those who blame their wives for their sinful habit and frankly it disgusts me. In the same vein, there are those who hold their spouse blameless yet constantly nag and vex their spouse with endless confessions of every wayward thought in an attempt to unburden their guilt and force some kind of coddled compassion and these are no better. I do think if directed by the Spirit and by a Bishop that we need to discuss our failings with our spouse make sure our intent is pure and if it's pure be prepared to accept the consequence that the burden we unintentionally place may be too much to bear.