Praetorian_Brow

Points for making lemonade from lemons, as well as forgiving yourself and finding solace in your rationalization that the abuse of your person turned into a positive experience. We have no place to question your stance on your horrid experiences, but at the same time, I think myself as well as others, are a bit alarmed that some abuse victims will see your remarks as a version of Stockholm Syndrome and a lessening of the severity of the abusers crime. I do not believe in the notion that I was placed in an emotionally dead home where my mother was abused, so I could learn a life lesson that was authorized by God and communicated to me so I can have some marvelous emphatic choice of choosing my poison. What I do believe is that, my father disrupted whatever potential for a better life as a family was possible, some of it was no fault of his own, circumstantial and perpetuated, but really, I do not accept that Saturday Warriors fantasy of pre-life.

My father may want me to share some of his success and triumphs that he experienced, but I also know he wants me to an individual. Emulating your father is great, but emulation for the sake of emulating, produces a shell of an individual. I doubt God wants mindless drones as children. My mother didn't intentionally scar me with her ring finger while I was a baby because she wanted to test my ability to overcome misery. As a child, I chose to run through gravel on pavement and shred my knee when I fell. I chose to jump and miss the farthest rung on the monkey bars. Life is full of endless possibilities, but I do not accept the notion that we have been created to suffer. Some people need to rationalize their suffering as meaningful in a strange twist on positive thinking, but is wearing a horse hair shirt for penance, just as positive I wonder. I think some people confuse abuse with coincidental misery. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

I wonder if it is really charity if there is an agenda.

Reminds me of my life. She says I am not right, prays about it, gets no answer, believes her anxiety is the answer while forgetting she has anxiety issues, so therefore, I am out. Next day, she is with a man who only wants sex, but is an RM. My honestly and our feelings are dismissed because somehow a hypocritical RM is much more of an answer to her prayers. Answers to prayers are individual, but coincidence does not necessarily mean its an answer. You seem invested in this man, so I would gather that its more than simply a disappointed friendship. Its his life, as it is yours, but I wonder, how you approached him and if it affected his response.

Sounds like another interpretation of original sin. I believe God as better things to do than to personally orchestrate misery for individuals as a test. We test ourselves.

Imagine being a Bishop and listening to countless people speak of similar sins, drone on, be expected to be the leader in all things, have little family time and then have some members place all their dependency in them, while forgetting that he is just a man. There is such a thing as too much church, as all things need moderation. If you are burning out, mostly like you need to set more boundaries. However, what got me through all my training, was that I wanted to be a soldier and the moment I questioned that, I lost all interest and quit after 3.5 years, much to my regret.

Your thoughts on that mall echo what my brother said about it, as he has lived around SLC for over 10 years. He said the same thing, but about the Conference Centre. I know a few Mormons that seem to scoff and pity the people who don't believe or act as they do. When I visited Temple Square a few years ago, I was unsettled by the trappings of success and the juxtaposition of wealth with the advertising of humility. I called it the new Vatican City when I left. No matter the theories, no matter the rationalization or justification, it is troubling indeed to see such a centralized display of wealth and power. There are those who will not question the direction of any decisions by the church or its affiliates, but it seems as if many LDS expect the trappings of success. New churches, grand buildings, but I would think the individual salvation of all, would be more important than having centralized wealth. There are those will simply dismiss such theories as an attempt to defame or an obvious lack of faith by the observer, but I wonder if we have forgotten what it is to be humble, like so many other organizations have forgotten, once any amount of time has passed or once the new generations have never realized the nuances of humility, other than to regard the pioneers in awe.

By their definition of a date, perhaps it is one. For some time now, video games have offered in game weddings or engagement rings for a price and some take advantage of that, informally or formally. I spent over 8000 hours talking to my ...."ex", via MSN, Skype and the phone in four years time. Apparently her wanting to leave her mission to marry me wasn't serious enough to tell people, as I the man hadn't proposed. Its a date withing modern contexts, but lets not forget hanging out is less risque.

I am not sure how your opinion of their life choices has any merit and wonder if it is any of your business. The circumstances of my father remarrying his ex-girlfriend were bizarre, but it is their decision to have that relationship and non of my business to dismiss it, demean it, or belittle it. They are two adults who are dedicated to each other and my theories, opinions or knowledge has no bearing on their relationship as to gossip and to judge, only diminishes the relationship I would have with my father and step mother. Mind your own beeswax applies here. Snubbing the marriage, regardless of the opinions of others, would only diminish the relationship you and your husband have with them.

I would mention it to him in a non-confrontational way, as viewing those images if he has such a problem is like saying I'll just drink a glass of wine if I was an alcoholic. They could be accidental viewings as the internet is full of varying degrees of porn, however, you do have a valid concern and as his wife, you should say that this makes you uncomfortable, as it should. Those images he has searched do intrigue him and could in all likelihood excite him in such a way as to reach the release point, which is the point of viewing such things. The release to be politically correct is actually the harder activity to control, as that is the objective. As most porn addicts started when they were younger by viewing underwear or bikinis habitually, then progressed to softporn (nude but no sex), then viewing hard porn (sexual acts). The habitual viewing of any women on the internet is inappropriate, as that detracts the relationship you two have as husband and wife. Very few people understand that simply stopping a habitual problem is simply not enough, as the activity needs to be replaced with another constructive activity. Many porn addicts, which once again, varies in severity depending on the individual, start to depend on the behaviour as a coping mechanism for underlying emotional issues from childhood, so require therapy of some sort to relearn emotional coping mechanisms. Most likely he is also very good at covering his tracks in the past, but I would suggest a friendly chat with zero guilt tripping, zero confrontation and speak of it in a loving manner. Then I would suggest that you install a filter of some kind on the computers. One that you have the password to and one that makes him accountable to someone for his activities.

I don't believe in the theory of divine right and I don't believe all callings are divinely inspired. It amuses me that people have to volunteer first to be a missionary, then get called as if its some divine miracle after the fact. I also do believe in the vagaries of ambition, which means our church is not devoid of that, no matter the rationalization that some divine intervention will occur when someone abuses their authority. With money, comes greed and the church is run like a business. Emperors New Clothes is a fine example of what rarely happens in a defined power structure. All of the above does not dampen my respect for the spiritual orientation of the church, or some of its true members of compassionate faith, nor does it lessen my belief that the gospel is to be applied for the betterment of all. My position reminds me of how quickly good intentions become corrupt goals.

Sounds exactly like my younger sisters situation, although my mother is single and being used as slave labour child care. My younger sisters idea of finances is credit cards and cooking is for people who have more time. I grew up in a family were you ate what you were given or you eat nothing at all, so I can understand why its annoying to see other people squander food. To this day, I feel extremely guilty about not finishing dishes at restaurants and at home, even if I am rushed for time, as I always finish last. I have also observed youngest siblings tend to be less concerned with details as they generally come from a family environment where there was plenty, as most of their older siblings had flew the nest. As already suggested, this is a delicate matter, best to be handled by your wife. Perhaps mention it to your wife and seek her advice first. Merging families can be a delicate situation.

http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/56238-anti-porn-petition.html http://www.lds.net/forums/general-discussion/56273-censorship-not-dirty-word-seriously-whats-wrong-people.html I suppose all sports games are out, considering they objectify women with the cheerleaders, or all grocery checkout aisles are immune to objectifying women . Then again, I did read Playboy for the articles back in the day. Still, its sort of amusing to think that that some believe Hooters is extreme, therefore validating the "experience" as sexual. Thinking in extremes, only perpetuates and adds fuel to the thought that breasts are sexual. Then the same women who concern themselves with appearances or modest clothing, are offended when they receive public scrutiny for using them for their proper use in the open. Its like telling someone not to think about the elephant in the room, but of course they are going to think about the elephant, as that is what was specified to think about. So the name Hooters can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the patrons state of mind. Never been to Hooters, but I can respect that the servers are not ashamed of who they are and confident in what they do, as no doubt the people in line for the night club next door are probably wearing more revealing attire.

Viciously vanguishing vivacious villains, validates various vindicants. Remember, remember, the fifth of November, the gunpowder treason and plot, I know of no reason, why the gunpowder plot, should ever be forgot. Perhaps its too British of an idea to want to resist federal ideas and I am not surprised V for Vendetta was censored by most people as it contained tyrannical religion, gay issues and so much more. I prefer Christmas, as reflecting on quaint memories of family experiences and Christmas is one of the few days were family swallows their squabbles and does try to be together.

My parents used censorship as an excuse not to inform us of dangerous or controversial topics, which lead to us being naive children with very little life skills other than the ones that the gospel supposedly granted. Looking back, I realized they didn't have all the life skills necessary to teach their children properly and defaulted to censorship. My Grandfathers letters to my Grandmother, from Britain, France, Holland, Germany, were all all scrutinized and censored. Reading them was interesting, as she was complaining about the usual domestic woes of the '40s, her female take on life and while he was being bombed, strafed and shot at, he wrote nothing of that, reassuring her of his love. There is one letter in which he reassured her that he wasn't sleeping with the prostitutes, like some of his married comrades were doing, of course, he didn't write it as blunt as that, but reading between the lines I understand what he meant. Prudent censorship is a welcome filter to the human condition, however we need to ask ourselves, what is the intent of the censor. At what point does censorship become more important than the message.

Religion is used to justify most of those conflicts and massacres, as the real reason is economics. Rabid religious sentiments don't really matter to most people when they aren't being paid. Well done Quin, reminding people that there is world history.

I was surprised it turned out so well, but as always the book is better. It seemed rushed in parts, but they had to pack a lot in. I think a lot of people were confused by the ethical dilemma Ender faced.

One man's garbage is another man's treasure. I doubt anyone is intentionally seeking to undermine their faith. Rather, they are looking for information and if it contradicts what they know, then it could possibly undermine their faith or enlighten it.

I could say that the Earth was established mainly for the purpose of restoring the gospel. If America was to return to whatever you think its supposed to be, by believing simply in your understanding of what God is then how would that be religious freedom for all? I just see patriotism, a belief that America needs to teach the world, in the guise of religion, which means that the rest of the world must somehow be lacking in whatever it is that America has or did have. I can credit the origins of the restoration as being from the United States of America and your belief is fine, but I don't really see every American soldier knocking on the door with a Book of Mormon.

History is written by the victors. I think most people consider anything that remotely tarnishes the public or social image of the history, the people or the church in general is regarded as anti-mormon. I don't subscribe to the umbrella theory that because our gospel is true, anything remotely connected to our version of the truth is considered unquestionable. I learned a lot by reading material that fills in the gaps that the glossy brochures don't mention and am grateful for the knowledge that I gained. I grew up in a small branch with a very strict Mormon oriented family, so what I learned as child was an innocence that did not prepare me for the world. We lived in a bubble, that once popped had devastating consequence for our family, as our bubble hid ugly truths. Maybe my testimony is weak as most people after a long discussion, or a debate will not so subtly point out with a varying amount of disdain, but I still have respect for what key figures within our religion have overcome to be so influential. Some people use their "faith" as a weapon. In the end, I am grateful for some of the information I have read that some will regard as anti-Mormon for it allowed me to be more grateful for the spirit of worth, allowed me to forgive more as I understood the context and actually influenced me to stick with my core beliefs. Consider how many people learned about The Book of Mormon from the musical or South Park. There is no such thing as bad publicity, even if it is negative, as the people who want to know more, will see past the slanderous agenda.

4500 posts and she calls herself a non-reader. Hmmmmm. If you don't want to read it, don't as obligatory reading is rarely enjoyable.

I wonder if what we know of the origins of good and evil, are too simplistic, too naive and not informed at all, as no doubt the circumstances as described are far more complex. If we supposedly knew everything before the veil, how is that the two chosen leaders that spoke for us and we decided sides, didn't understand the outcome of their decisions. I sometimes ask myself, what an interesting role to accept the blame of countless people for everything negative and knowingly become a scapegoat. Then again, its far easier to blame someone else for our poor decisions that we have made in life. I cannot stand when people at church start speaking as if Satan made them make poor choices and something good happened, its immediately God planning their life for them. Sort of ironic to side with Jesus when he gave us a choice, but then take it away again from ourselves by blaming someone else. If Satan is as dark as we think he is, as manipulative as we give him credit for, how is that he would he accept the loathing of countless people and Jesus accept the adoration of so many. I would think they would have talked about it between the two of them. I think we just simplify our notions of good and evil for the sake of illustration, when both concepts are required in order to succeed and learn in life.

Nationalism in the guise of religious speculative hindsight is a dangerous thing. Mr. Ballard is not the first, nor will he be the last, to look for proof, coincidence or anecdotal evidence to suggest his country is divinely inspired. Every country on earth has invoked God's name as rationalization, regardless of their understanding of the contemporary thought of freedom. I think its ironic that the reason given for the American Civil War was for the sake of releasing slaves, when emancipation only happened mid way through the war, not before. That war, like so many others was simply started because of economics. I admire Lincoln, but lets be honest, freeing slaves was an afterthought and a bid for votes, as well as economic warfare, considering the south was dependent on slavery for its economic base. If Lincoln is credited with being divinely directed, why is that Britain, the superpower of the time, abolished it in 1833. Did America somehow miss the divine inspiration? I think its a mistake to believe all powers in "opposition" to the origins and development of a country, are somehow under the direction of the antithesis of personal choice.

I believe the litmus test for whether or not its gossip, is to consider the reaction of the person being discussed, if they were present to hear the discussion. I find it interesting that most people have no qualms about discussing people not present, but are more tactful with people who are. I find it hilarious that my ex only talked of all my faults to her family and friends, so guess what, they regarded me with suspicion and hostility. If my ex had spoken of my good qualities, they would have been less hostile, as ironically enough, I taught my ex all she needed to have a good relationship and didn't hide who I was like, she did. Love her though. If the absent person would appreciate that they are being talked about, then I wouldn't call it gossip. Gossip is extremely damaging, as that is how new members are ostracized, cliques are formed, suspicions bred, lies hatched, ambition realized and people who repent are refused social forgiveness as they are forever spoken of in a negative light. I rarely gossip about people, but I do have a habit of unintentionally passing on what I have heard from others, as if its some kind of virus that its my duty to pass on. I need to work on that.

Making Christmas, Making Christmas, nananananana....