Lakumi

They put me under for my surgery, now my paranoia is worse so I'd have guards, but I was only 17-18 then-seems like a lifetime ago

I only took the painkillers after the surgery for about a day or so, though I took all the anti-biotics, not messing with infection. I find a lot of medication has more negative effects on me, like my mind which I don't want, which is why the only medicine I ever take is tums

They thought I had cancer in my jaw... turns out it was a hole and they weren't sure how it happened, people say it was a miracle though I don't believe that. Lost 6 teeth, including the wisdom teeth that needed to come out and others needed to be removed for the jaw repair thing and such

Yeah, I don't accept my life happened the way it did because God wanted to teach me something or build faith, the latter obviously having the total opposite effect... And if it was something he did, why wouldn't it be successful, or is my fault for not having faith in my lowest moments and such, and still often struggling with it.

reminded me of this song My past tooth aches before the massive surgery caused me no nearly pass out at a Megadeth concert

Yeah I can't link The Cinema Snob to this forum, but he is my favourite movie reviewer on the net.

I don't see it as a blessing to be as unhappy and jaded as I am. If that's what blessings are, then I don't want them. I don't want to be unhappy forever, I will never see being alone and having no future as a blessing. I prayed, a lot when I was young, and it got worse so I grew to hate God. Now... I try to pray and it leads me nowhere. I read what I was told to and felt nothing. I went to church and, well I don't like this town so am not eager to be around its people. But I just prefer to be alone nowadays anyways. I wanted to believe, to be faithful and whatnot, growing up and still, but you can't force yourself to believe something and I don't know what to do with myself, in that area. All I can think to do is write what I believe and feel inside...

I'd rather go hungry, I hate talking during meals:lol:

I had set a date but had a panic attack and couldn't leave the house for about 2 weeks (though that was largely caused by other factors, I don't want to single out the church for that... didn't help) There are things I am unsure of, things I don't agree with and other such stuff... I do ultimately feel I wouldn't make a good Mormon, though I didn't share most of my issues with the missionaries since I didn't feel they should be burdened with all my head troubles. Didn't want to bring them down lol

that's one of my favourite movies of all time... with one of my favourite soundtracks

I donno, for me, the suffering in my life severely decreased my faith from what it was when I was a kid. I always wondered if God wanted me to be faithful and such, why he'd let what befell me to happen- knowing what would happen. Or at very least gave me a mind that questions everything that it is told

First thing I do is take doll photo's I prefer books because the screens tend to hurt my eyes

because the west wind came and took unico from the Garden of Eden (to hide the unicorn from the Lord's gaze) as God realized he had made something too great. If unicorns were left to live, they'd have risen up against man and... that's how Equestria was made:lol:

or fightin'

I used to buy that stuff and drink it from the bottle when I was out playing magic the gathering, needless to say I got some strange looks:lol:

please tell me there is no Jar Jar Binks in heaven I always thought, as a child and even still, that we can't be the best creatures a supreme being could make. We suck:lol:

not yet, but who knows what the future will hold? humans invent space travel, go to other planets, that underhive place in Total Recall could have used a few missionaries lol (I wrote a book about it, 20XX, A Mormon Space Odyssey is its working title, it was probably my favourite one to date)

2020 a Mormon Space Odyssey The ride of the future, TODAY! See the church in space and the friendly aliens that live in the cosmos as missionaries try and break the language barrier and figure out just how to get ET to read his scriptures:lol:

Impressive but I think the Catholic Church owned more of Quebec (It still might, though I do know in the last few decades they have sold much of their land there)

Cider can be, see its a fermented drink, now it can turn into alcohol if left long enough to ferment, however this will not occur if it is pasteurised. Most cider you buy in the store has been pasteurised, and will say so on the label so, won't ever turn to alcohol

Pool hall aside, the only trouble you got is the fact your town doesn't have a genuine benefited, electrified, 6 car monorail! They say a town without a monorail is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it and danged if he knows how to use it! monorail, monorail, monorail... But maybe you good folks aren't the monorail types, and that's just fine cause what I got can't be beat! And that's a new world, with tons of cider Fresh squeezed and ready for drinking More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking ... And I suppose by now you're wondering, where is this promised cider? Any horse can make a claim and any pony can do the same! cider, cider, cider

I do wonder if we truly live forever up there... if so... what are we doing? What are my dead family doing?

usually schools just make you pay for damaging a book, I never tore up a bible, though I had a rather extreme disliking of religion as a young person (and I was glad I never was taught creationism in school). I assume the library would have had a bible, I never looked for them but I assume they were there...

ooh I was gonna go on a huge advertisement spree for Tim Horton's:lol:

They have great mussels-and fries, went there once... was also the last time I drank beer, and I was 20 so that was a few years ago