seashmore

The only thing that's fair about life is that it's not fair for everyone. Some people will get more than they have earned, some less.

Is there anything you're looking forward to? I'm stoked about curling, but especially the newly added Mixed Doubles event. In addition to the traditional four-person men's and women's teams, USA (and about 7 other countries) have a team of one man, one woman. The structure is a little bit different, but those differences make it more exciting for the people who think shuffleboard and chess on ice is boring. I won't get to watch much, since it mostly airs on cable after late night, but I'll somehow survive. Also, the brother-sister duo repping Team USA have spitfire personalities, which also makes the event more entertaining. (They'll be mic'd for televised games.) #HamFam

Did/do you know her outside/before the social media interaction? If yes, continue a regular conversation with her. If no, she's probably just being nice. If she were interested in continuing a dialogue with you, she would have asked you a question, said something more, etc. That one message (without knowing exactly what she was responding to) is not enough information for me to gauge whether she's just being friendly. If she doesn't know you (or have a significant number of trustworthy mutual acquaintances) she's probably not going to meet you anywhere, even a stake dance. At least, I wouldn't. Maybe that's just because I have a friend who constantly shares anecdotes about LDS creepers online.

If you're looking for a passive aggressive way to deal with the situation... Tell her you would like to get together with just her so you can counsel together on how to minister to your sisters. Make it a lunch date, after bedtime ice cream stop, invite her to your place, whatever. Get her in the habit of not having all 3 children in tow. (The baby is probably okay, as I'm assuming just the one little is a manageable distraction.) Offer, insist if necessary, to pick her up for these visits. Gradually work in your regular visits during these time slots. Or you could pull the ol' "you deserve some kid-free time" reasoning.

Not having read any other replies, allow me to share my story. I experience seasonal depression that can last any time from Sept-Mar. Over time, I recognized my symptoms get worse if I get dehydrated. After making that connection, I pondered and prayed to come up with a solution that would work for me. At the start of a winter fast, I fill up a water bottle and allow myself up to that much water throughout the course of the fast. Some months I need the whole bottle (like when I did a lot of walking and other physical labor while at work on Saturday nights), but some I don't need any. Doctors are familiar with the concept of fasting (some blood tests require a 12 hour fast), so don't be afraid to run anything by him. Explain you would like to fast for 24 hours or two meals once a month for religious reasons and ask if not drinking any water during that time would increase your risk for kidney stones. If he says yes, take your compromise of half a glass (or whatever you come up with) to the Lord in prayer for His approval.

I received checks when I did work study at college in 2004-07. Could be that's changed, or varies from school to school. @cosmos206 the following suggestion is something that will probably need to be talked over with a local caseworker, but does your disability plan allow for a professional caregiver, even part time? If so, your wife may be able to "apply" for that "job," so to speak, which may provide you with enough income to feel comfortable about paying tithing. Any decision made regarding a budget should be discussed as a family council. In your case, that would be you and your wife. Emphasis added: your struggle with understanding how much you should offer as tithes is probably why it's the hot topic for discussions with you. You gave the statistic that only 10% of your ward is paying tithing. Not sure how you came up with that number, but assuming that's the case, that might explain why your Ward has so many Sunday lessons on it and also why the bishop may be unable to offer you financial assistance (and why he said anything before you asked, which I would consider uncouth).

I haven't seen it, so I honestly don't know.

It's a snow day, so I'm watching the 1959 Ben-Hur. Already watched it straight, now it's playing with commentary. This past week, I've watched Pay It Forward and Forrest Gump, also with commentaries. And since I'm here, anyone have any particular commentaries they like? Sense and Sensibility has excellent ones, both with Ang Lee and Emma Thompson.

Love her!

There are varying degrees of singleness, to be sure. Single-never married, single due to divorce, single due to death. And let's not forget single with children, in all of the above flavors.

@for_our_experience I'm sorry about your recent heartache and hope you find healing in your time and on your terms. In the meantime, here is a video the Mormon Channel posted to YouTube the other day about divorce. It may help you in some way. (Also, in general, sexual abuse can come from anyone: cousin, uncle, neighbor, friend, random kid in the bathroom at a campground. Very few report it to someone right away. @NightSG touched on how our brains can supress painful memories, and sexual abuse ranks high on that scale.)

(Forgive the earworm.) Since the calling of the new First Presidency, I've done some thinking about these men and who I know them to be. I've also thought about their families, specifically their wives, and it occurred to me that both Pres. Nelson and Pres. Oaks are widowers who have remarried. Not only that, but both of their wives navigated the LDS world as adult singles prior to their marriage. (Sister Oaks literally wrote a book on it. I haven't read it, and therefore cannot personally recommend it, but she wrote it nonetheless.) So when these two men speak to or about LDS single sisters, they're living with someone who knows. They have become one with one who understands what it's like to sit in lessons that probably don't directly apply to your current life's circumstances. They share their most intimate moments with someone who has spent years of their life without a hand to hold at night. Even though these men may differ in their demeanor, their methods, and their style in delivering their messages, I believe them each fully capable of understanding his wife's circumstances prior to their marriage. I know for certain how grateful Pres. Nelson is for Wendy, and how much he respects and reveres her thoughts and opinions. When they visited my area this summer, he called her next to him at the pulpit during his final words and delivered his apostolic blessing with his arm around her.

I haven't been able to watch the broadcast, but did see the announcement. Interestingly enough, the three men who currently make up the First Presidency are the only Apostles I have had any sort of personal contact with. When I was 16 or 17, President Eyring spoke at my stake conference. I remember he called my childhood branch president into the stake presidency, among other things. I may at some point find an opportunity to share with you my experiences from that conference. When I was about 25, President Oaks came to speak at my stake conference (different stake). At the time, his brother was the president of the Winter Quarters temple, the architect for which was the stake president at the time. Our Single's Ward was asked to form a choir for the Sunday session, and I ended up sitting behind him the entire time, and the only thing I could think about was that my face was probably visible whenever anyone was speaking because I was right behind the podium. He also held a meeting (either before or after) for those who were investigating or just coming back to church. My sister qualified as the latter, and as I was her ride, I sat in. I remember him talking about tithing and how 100% of our income will not get us as far as 90% income and 100% blessings. I'm sure I shook his hand, but I don't remember it. This past August, President Nelson and his wife visited a neighboring stake and they broadcasted a women's session and a youth session on closed circuit broadcast. Because I'm in the YW Presidency, I watched both. Sister Nelson is incredible! She literally talked for over two hours total between the two broadcasts, and I was ready to listen for another two! President Nelson spoke to the youth, specifically the young men, and warned them about (in the future) when they have a bad day at work to not take it out on their family. "If you come home and have to kick the cat, kick the cat!" He of course clarified to not actually kick cats, but emphasized that, no matter how frustrated you are, don't take that frustration out on your family.

@Vort stole my answer. But I still wanted to welcome you and encourage you to continue asking questions, both here and with your new missionaries. Hopefully you can find some more golden friends along the way.

Wish I had seen this two weeks ago when our YW were being disrespectful to the YM who wished to continue playing sock dodgeball.

I don't really have opinions on the first two, but you mentioned being a sub for the 11 year olds. Depending on their personalities, they may not have felt comfortable in sharing what they know with you or answering your questions. Maybe they weren't confident and were nervous about being called out on it. It may also have something to do with the way you asked them the questions. Personal observation with the under 18 crowd in my current branch (which is actually the majority of members) and comparison to the crowd I grew up with favors the knowledge of the current young 'uns. Of course, your mileage will vary. When my dad was SSP a few years ago, he mentioned checking in on one of the youth Sunday School classes to make sure they had a teacher. Lo and behold, there was no adult in the room, but one of the youth had taken leadership, started with a prayer and was leading a discussion from the CFM manual. This fall, our 15-17 year old class had no teacher, and if left to themselves, they would just sit and talk about boys (an all girl class). Also, they've been inviting 8 year olds to the women's meeting for a few years (after combining the YW and RS meetings), which means those born after 2000 are getting more opportunities for real-time revelation from GAs than those born before 2000. Not to mention the addition of youth to the adult (Saturday night) sessions of stake conferences. Do you think that would be policy if the kiddos weren't prepared and/or mature enough to handle those meetings?

Good news, she was called and sustained this morning! We had talked about her being a first counselor, but she was called as a second counselor, so......we'll see how things roll out. I'm going to try to get us all together this week.

I've heard it both ways.

@Carborendum still too large, but I found one small enough.

Couples or marriage therapy may benefit you @for_our_experience. After only reading the original post, I'm wondering if she experienced some sort of sexual abuse at a young age. It may explain why she feels sex is an intrusion, why she finds male genitalia disgusting, and perhaps why she is more aggressive towards your son than daughter. If this is the case, it should be something she discusses with a therapist before making any life changing decisions. Her depression may also explain her housekeeping habits, and her medication may also be cause for her recent erratic behavior, especially if she's combing it in her system with alcohol. For the record, I highly discourage anyone becoming romantically involved with a work superior. Regardless of sexual preferences. That's just asking for an all-around messy life. See if you can have an audience with your RS President. Suggest your wife may need some adult social interaction outside of play dates, whether that be evening activities or just ice cream dates with her visiting teachers. This may be why she enjoys working part time. Also, check out http://www.joshweed.com/ According to his bio, he's a gay Mormon family/marriage therapist married to a woman.

Then Winter Quarters (Omaha) and the Kanesville Tabernacle (Council Bluffs, IA) might be within a similar distance. Once it warms up, if you can, take a trip. (Give me a couple weeks notice and I'll even meet you there.) The sister missionaries at the WQ Trail Center are always helpful, and start every tour at a replica of the Nauvoo temple followed by a bust of Joseph Smith and their testimony of the First Vision. Also, it's location directly across the street from the temple and cemetery provide an ideal atmosphere for spiritual experiences. It's one of the most underrated church history sites, imho. (maybe it's the lackluster parking, who knows?) The Kanesville Tabernacle is the place where Brigham Young was sustained as the second prophet of the Church. Whether you visit them or just read about them, these two church history sites may help you secure a testimony of Joseph Smith's role as the Prophet of the Restoration, even though the bulk of the tour/s are about the time just after his death.

Amen, and amen! My younger sister and I grew up semi active, and I've been devout since my last year of college. @Oneofthesedays, my sister led the same kind of life you are throughout her high school and college years. I moved 600 miles away from home so I could continue to easily practice my faith, and my sister noticed the changes in my life. Three years later, she finally woke up to her wake-up calls and made the leap of faith to move in with me and ended up creating a better life to take back home with her. She's not perfectly obedient to the commandments (she drinks coffee and is probably embarrassed to admit to me that she's taken up smoking again) but she does a pretty good job of showing me how to treat people. Point is, don't allow anything to hold you back. If you look for a support system, you'll find one.

"Treat her like a person, then a princess, then a Greek goddess, then a person again."

We did one for our work's Christmas party, except it wasn't exactly an Escape situation. Which made it good for those who are prone to claustrophobia, anxiety, etc. We split up into departments, and mine was assigned the "task" of foiling Lincoln's assassination by finding a key to unlock the cabinet with the gun. It reflected our group dynamic rather accurately. We started off working together, but TM2 got frazzled and hyper-focused on something that wasn't relevant, our Manager did things on her own most of the while, TM4 took on an air of authority but was often misguided (if not wrong), TM3 tried to bridge all the gaps and made some progress, and I mostly milled about for the last twenty minutes after I realized no one was either talking to or listening to me.

I'm rofl'ing at this!