Behemoth

So why are you blaming the program, when you are part of the problem?  Why do you want to change the program instead of changing yourself?

Are you really so deluded as to think that having no assignments would work better?
Please note that just because people aren't now following the Spirit in assignments, aren't interviewing quorum/RS members to get to know them so they can make more inspired assignments doesn't mean it can't happen, it only means it doesn't happen.  But doing away with assignments altogether isn't going to help - that's how you end up with only the popular people visiting the other popular people and the unpopular people (who are generally the ones who need it most) getting left in the cold.  We may as well just kick them out of the Church and tell them not to come back until they figure out how to be popular.
It's your pride that makes you not want to let him in.  Any number of things could be behind his fake smiles (maybe he thinks you're an arrogant jerk).  But if the two of you never forgive and never try to make it work, it never will.
I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how humans work (cuz I really don't get it), and one of the conclusions I've come to (and can't seem to find a way around) is that it's our selfishness that wants someone who is the same as us (hobbies, talents, interests) so that we don't have to completely give ourselves up and spend time 100% focused on what we are not interested in but the other is interested in.  (And lest you think I'm finding fault with you I will clarify that I am condemning myself with this observation.)

It's pretty easy to tell if Socialism could work.
Think of your family with at least 3 generations.  Now, ask yourself what they will do if you tell them you're all going to all own everybody's production.  Then you come up with a system where everybody shares the products of your labors.  If you think it's going to work spectacularly, then extend it out one generation wider.  Is that still going to work spectacularly without anybody dictating and policing how to improve production or how to distribute outcomes?  If you think Yes... then go ahead and implement it in your family.  Then at least we can say - look guys, socialism works.

Life under a communist government: 
Despite the fact that Romania was a country rich in resources, there were shortages everywhere. Food, electricity, water, and just about every one of life's necessities were in short supply. The apartment building in which we lived provided hot water for showers two hours in the morning and two hours at night.  When milk, butter, eggs, and yogurt were temporarily available, my mom—like so many others of our neighbors—would wake up at 2:00 a.m. to go stand in line so she'd have the chance to get us these goodies.   The store would open at 6:00 a.m., so if she wasn't early enough in line she'd miss the opportunity.  
In 1982, the state sent their disciples to people's homes to do the census. Along with that, food rationing was implemented. For a family of four like us, our rationed quota was 1 kilogram of flour and 1 kilogram of sugar per month. That is, if they were available and if we were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time when they were being distributed.
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Where do I sign up?  Ugh, what a terrible quality of life.

Individual freedom can only exist in the context of free-market capitalism. Personal freedom thrives in capitalism, declines in government-regulated economies, and vanishes in communism. Aside from better economic and legislative policies, what America needs is a more intense appreciation for individual freedom and capitalism.
 
continues;  http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/article/i-grew-communist-system-heres-what-americans-dont-understand-about-freedom
 

Well, I’ve never played football so I don’t have a football uniform. I do however do Taekwondo which has a modest uniform but I wouldn’t wear it to church since the top is open well below my chest. 

I never dress to seduce. I dress to look good. For church I wear a white shirt and tie. For work I dress to be practical. For working out I dress for ease of movement and comfort. For doing Taekwondo I wear my Taekwondo uniform. For swimming I wear a swimsuit. I suppose any of these “costumes” could be seductive to someone out there but I’m not wearing them to seduce. 
 
Someone posted a thing saying we should not draw undue attention upon ourselves. I asked how you differentiate between due and undue attention. I posted the definitions of each. If undue attention is more attention than is warranted and due attention is an appropriate amount of attention then I would say that I am modest in that regard. Any attention I get while wearing my gym clothes or speedo or Sunday suit is not more than warranted or more than due. A fat person can draw an undue amount of attention simply by being fat. 
 
Some say we should dress our body in a way that shows respect for our body and glorifies God. Who is showing more respect for their body and is bringing more glory to its Creator, a 300lb man in a business suit or a fit 175lb man in a swimsuit. 
 
As I alluded to earlier I think that a suit, white shirt and tie can be immodest. There are times when a suit can be terribly inappropriate. For example if government or church officials visit a disaster area all dressed up as usual they look aloof and not ready lend a helping hand. 
 
I suppose there are those here who would have everyone live by the BYU or stricter yet BYU-I dress and grooming code. But that wouldn’t fly within the general church membership. 
 
My nephew married a returned missionary from California. They now live in Idaho. She can’t understand all the fuss over two piece swimsuits which show the woman’s stomach. She said where she grew up all the girls wore them and nobody thought anything of it. Her sister, also a returned missionary wore a bikini to a family water skiing party last summer. She didn’t think anything of it and neither did I. She certainly wasn’t being seductive. 
 
I think modesty standards very a lot by local traditions and I think church members from within the intermountain west would be surprised by traditions among members in other parts of the world.

What you dress in is about comfort, practicality, and message.  Focusing on the message part: you're giving messages to yourself and to others.  Different cloth is different circumstances/cultures give different messages, same with different individuals.  You want to be conscious of this and modest in what you say with your appearance. 

Listen 👂
Seduction isn’t as much about skin as it is, about intention. Plenty of you have mentioned that. We have a standard order according to our culture(s) on how and what we do. We eat at a table, instead of the ground (anyone know why?). we wear clothes. we drive on one side of the street. we urinate in specific recepticals within specific gender enclosed rooms etc. There are reasons we do them, though as any generation detached from the original actions and mores of their anteprecedants, we may forget and begin to question their relevance (not always a bad thing) to free our selves from what could be foolish traditions. 
a woman and a man understand their intention when they get dressed in the morning. - A little red lipstick, some high hills. “No, I don’t want to seduce anyone, that’s not the message I’M trying to communicate, I want to be pretty “ .
I need to know. What is the difference? what ARE you competing for? 
Modesty, by definition, is about being reserved. Do you want everyone to notice your prettiness? Be orderly, not pretty. 
After you get done competing, then we can talk about the men’s fault in the matter. 
E.g. I often hear people of both genders get angry while fasting say something like this: “DONT you realize I’M FASTING!? Couldn’t you eat something cold, and nasty so I wouldn’t be so tempted? “ Really? This is the same person that is supposed to (as the scriptures say) wash their face, and change their countenance so as avoid letting others know they’re fasting, and being motivated for glory of others. 
 No, I don’t expect my family to change their behavior when I’m fasting. But, you know what they aren’t doing. They’re not competing to tempt me, by going out of their way to make my favorite things, they would NEVER make on any other day. 
You could be in a burka for all I care and if your intention was seduction, I would say that was very immodest.
I want to hear your counter arguments. Do you all agree? Calling you back with the tags cause it looked like this conversation died out.
@Jane_Doe @zil @BJ64 @Carborendum @Dillon
 

Why can't you purchase a tankini top instead of a bikini top?  Many of those are high chested and then also wear the shorts as well?  A bikini top would allow midriff to show whereas a tankini wouldn't.

So, I've been wondering, can I wear a bikini if it is modest and no revealing? This may seem silly, but I am looking for a new swimsuit and have really bad chest acne. The only thing I can find that is high enough to cover it are some high chested bikinis. I have a plan to just wear the top and wear board shorts but I need some other opinions.

I googled "high neck women's 1-piece swimsuit" (without the quotes around it) and found multiple that completely cover the chest.  Several seemed both stylish and modest (for swimsuits).

Here you go:
 

Interesting – I am somewhat gregarious but not much of a fan of large crowds.  I would rather observe than be observed.   When I am at a pool I prefer to be invisible and observe how individuals in the crowd react – especially to those who obviously want to be noticed.   One lesson I have learned is that often there is a difference between what people think they are communicating and the message others are getting.
 
The Traveler

Modesty is a cardinal principle of the Law of chastity.  Modesty is also a means of communicating – intelligence among other things.  If someone swims with piranha and deliberately adds blood to the water – it will not matter much where the blame lies – blame will not change much of what happens. 
Scientifically we define intelligence as the ability to learn and modify our behavior to bring about a more desirable result.   When it comes to social behavior – how we behave and adorn ourselves has a lot to do with how we want and intend other to perceive us.   Anyway – it should.   I have often wondered why on Halloween – so many ladies go out of their way to appear as characters generally considered immodest?
If someone truly does not care what others think of them – then they will not complain about what others think, say and expect of them based what they think of them.   There are always exceptions but my point is – that if you do not want particular responses then avoid those things (whenever possible) that seem to be directly related to unwanted responses.    
 
The Traveler

I should make it clear that I don’t M. My relationship with my wife is such that I do not have a desire to M. 

Something I can’t comprehend is the concept that porn or fantasy is needed in order to M. M existed for thousands of years before widespread distribution of pornography. 
I do not equate the two. 

Women must have weak legs if they can’t lift six or eight inches of cloth and it has been my observation that men are much less heat tolerant than women. 

However there is no justification for what they wear in women’s beach volleyball. If men get along okay wearing shorts and a shirt then women don’t need to wear a bikini. Of course they dress as they do for the benefit of the viewers. 

@BJ64, wearing your tighty whiteys in the public pool, I'm sure, you will think is inappropriate.  I'm sure even your boxer briefs which cover a heckalot more than your speedos you'd probably think inappropriate, right?  Therefore, it is not about how much skin is being laid bare.  Rather, it is about what is appropriate for the occasion.  Speedos, as the name implies, is built for speed in competition.  There's no such need in leisure swimming in a public pool.  Now, if you're training for a swim event, then sure, wearing your speedos in your training pool wouldn't be inappropriate.  It's like beach volleyball - there's a specific reason competitive beach volleyball players wear what they wear.  But, wearing that outfit out to the grocery store... well, I guess it would be just like wearing bermuda shorts to Church.  This all goes with the concept of Modesty - it's not just the outfit, it's the outfit with the spiritual mindset.

@Jane_Doe I'm terrribly sorry that's awful. I'm glad you were able to find healing through Christ.

As many things the pendulum swings from one extreme to the other... 
on Modesty one extreme is that the Girl has total control over the man's reaction... this is clearly false.
The other extreme is that the Girl has not control or influence over the man's reactions... this is also clearly false. (Proof try walking naked in mixed company)
The simple reality is that God/biology/nature has given the each of the sexes as certain amount of influence over the other.  We are responsible for how we use that influence.
If we do not know what influence we are having on other individuals then we can not be held accountable for it, but learning what influence we have is important which is why it need to be taught.
When it comes to how we use this influence I am reminded about the scripture in the Book of Mormon about the beggar asking for help (Give if we can, but if we can't we are ok) and the scripture in the D&C about how is not required that we run more then we have strength.  We try our best and then when we become aware of a situation that is unusual (like with the ties or shins) we ask ourselves is this something I have the resources (including mental resources) to accommodate... In some cases (like the tie) the accommodating is easy, simply pick another.  In other cases one can't accommodate without a completely new wardrobe (just to cover your shins) that is more then most people can reasonably do.  And in other case we are simply full up mentally at the moment and can't help yet another person.
 

I am not talking about women that are forced to dress a certain way. I am talking about American women that dress for attention and claim they dont.

No woman, ever, has tried on clothes and said "does this outfit make me invisible, does it make me look plain so no one will notice me?"
 
No, what she says is "does this outfit make me look sexy, cute, skinnier, etc."

GirlNextDoor
It is your responsibility to conduct and dress yourself in a manner befitting entering into God's house. How you made get effect others is secondary. It is true that modesty is the means by which the Lord has given you to show that respect, and to not draw attention away from the business of worship. It's one Sunday a week, we should all be asking ourselves is that too much for the Lord to ask of us, one day and n seven? 
I did not grew in the LDS Church, but one Sunday, my brother was driving me to Church, soI changed into Jeans. My Nanny (my Grandmother) stop me and asked where I was going. Before I began to answer, she asked, "are you going to Theron's house?" I replied "no", she then asked if I "were going to Mark's house"; I said no. I told her I was going to the "Lord's House", she said, "I thought so", and she made me dress for Church. She has been gone for 45 years now, but every Sunday, I dress as if she was watching. Such was the lesson she taught me. And I act as a watchful eye for my grandchildren should they to decide to go off plantation.