Manners Matter

I went with solutions to the problems and ready to counter anticipated comments. (ie there's a quote by Hinckley about respecting donations, tithing; there are quotes about the value of girls/women and that we're equal; there are quotes about setting aside false traditions) If you still go the letter route (I wouldn't), you may want to include these so they can see you're just trying to follow counsel.

Great suggestion about combining with the girls! I've heard of other units doing that. As far as the other ideas though...from Elder Ballard Apr 94 Ensign: "Every lesson, every meeting, and every activity should be focused on bringing these little ones to Christ."

One other thing - the handbook itself says that most activities should be simple and have little or no cost so trimming the boys stuff would be better than embellishing things for the girls. The $ for scouts was to cover the Blue & Gold/Pinewood Derby (we combined these events which was more efficient in various ways).

Ugh. Where to begin. When I was over cub scouts some years ago, I was also flabbergasted at what was going on. I spent a lot of time researching to make sure I understood and ended up calling SL which was very insightful (I learned that the *parents* are to pay for what the boys earn (except the final one/s)). After that call, I went to the PP and explained what I learned and my ideas to clean things up (start including Faith in God, etc). After I got her blessing, I went to the bishop who also gave me his. Unfortunately, there were parents who liked the false traditions and thought the ward should still cover all the doodads so the bishop walked things back. 😕 Anyway: Recognition - Our monthly pack mtgs were when we did Core Values/Faith in God. The parents/families were only invited (3-4 times/yr) when the boys actually accomplished things (we also had a very small group and spotty attendance). I figured there's no way boys can finish things that fast and saw no value in burdening the parents with attendance (some serve in ym/yw while the other is home with the younger kids). I don't see how you could acknowledge the girls monthly because they only meet twice and also can't learn/grasp something so quick. Leadership - I see no problem combining. There's still plenty of time to cover the needed reqs (keep in mind I'm not familiar with the changes made in recent years) and it never hurts for the older boys to review what they supposedly already learned. Combining does have it's drawbacks though. If you're not on the same page as leaders and/or if some are flaky and drop the ball... Budget - That is up to the PP. Here's what I suggested and it was agreed to (using general #s): $500 (total) - $250 for all of Primary (bdys, bulletin board, baptisms, nursery snacks, supplies...) - $250 split percentage-wise between scouts and AD (if have 5 boys and 5 girls - $125 ea, 5 boys and 10 girls - boys get less). Before I was put in, the previous PP gave a majority of the budget to scouts which I thought was completely wrong. We still did what we needed/wanted to do with a more balanced budget so there was no need to go back to the previous insanity. Good luck. Personally, I'm thrilled that we're finally cutting ties with the BSA and I will never again have anything to do with that organization after seeing/learning what I have.

~ You need to resolve the depression before even making a decision let alone acting on it. Being depressed can definitely make you think you don't love anyone or anything. ~ Again, you assume the grass is greener and that you'll both be "happy with new partners....". It's great that you had a positive exp with stepparents but that's not always the case.

Agree with Overwatch. Keep it to yourself.

If you haven't yet, go to lds.org and read/watch everything that pertains to your situation. Here's this to get you started: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2005/01/falling-out-of-love-and-climbing-back-in?lang=eng

- You need to stop focusing on what he/the marriage is not and start focusing on what good there is in him and the marriage. As long as you look for the bad, you'll find it. - If you haven't read "The 5 Love Languages" get to the library and read it asap and start putting what you learn into practice. - You didn't say anything about date nights. Make those happen and start remembering why you dated in the first place. - Divorcing and getting remarried is no guarantee you'll have the 'spiritually mature' spouse or the marriage you dream about in your head. - Happiness is a choice. That's what I've got for now but will pop back in if something else comes to mind. I'm sorry this has been your experience but am glad you're holding onto the Gospel. Welcome to the forum.

Sounds like you've gotten what you can out of Gospel Principles and that you're ready to move on. That's *great* so don't worry about what's 'normal' or what others choose to do - your progress is yours to make. 😊

@VelvetShadow If you'd like to read more, you'll find a bunch here: http://middleagedmormonman.com/home/conversion-stories/

I think it depends on your situation. If you think you'll be in a position down the road to help, don't worry about it now but if you don't think the prospects will be there, you may want to consider setting something aside sooner than later. That said, I don't think it hurts to expect kids to cover a good portion of the cost. Hopefully, they'd take their education more seriously if they had to work and save for it themselves.