Manners Matter

Have you contacted the Stake RS Pres for guidance? If not, I suggest doing so.

@alyssab - I was reminded of the youth devotional from this past June with Pres and Sister Nelson. I suggest you and/or your daughters listen to it (again as the case may be). Too many follow the crowd but we need to follow the prophet (who will help us navigate the "21st century"): "My fifth invitation is for you to stand out; be different from the world. You and I know that you are to be a light to the world. Therefore, the Lord needs you to look like, sound like, act like, and dress like a true disciple of Jesus Christ. Yes, you are living in the world, but you have very different standards from the world to help you avoid the stain of the world. With the Holy Ghost as your companion, you can see right through the celebrity culture that has smitten our society. You can be smarter than previous generations have ever been. And if you are sometimes called “weird,” wear that distinction as a badge of honor and be happy that your light is shining brightly in this ever-darkening world! Set a standard for the rest of the world! Embrace being different! The booklet entitled For the Strength of Youth should be your standard. It is the standard that the Lord expects all His youth to uphold." https://www.lds.org/ensign/2018/08-se/hope-of-israel?lang=eng

Everything we're asked to do (or not) is for a reason. If I remember right, in Chinese medicine, piercings disrupt the bodies meridians (circuits) which can lead to negative health effects so you may want to look into that and help daughter see that the possible consequences aren't worth it.

@anatess2 Of course, it's not good to go into things blind but when someone is talking about viewing the temple ceremonies that have been secretly recorded and put out for the public, I take exception and needed to put that in context. To me, doing such a thing is similar to someone who wants to purchase something and finds out it's stolen goods but doesn't care about that fact. They just want what they want as if the means justifies the end.

@VelvetShadow - You've said multiple times that you're not signing up for a lifetime commitment till you know everything. Well, people don't 'know everything' before getting married but they do it anyway. People don't 'know everything' before having kids but they do it anyway. People don't 'know everything' before embarking on a job/career but they do it anyway. Sometimes, you just have to act or you'll never move forward or get where you want to go. Just what came to my mind reading this thread. Hope you find the answers you seek (but not by unsavory means).

Re: the bishop not saying anything - Maybe the bishop encouraged the son to tell his parents himself and gave him a chance to do that. For all we know, the bishop would have followed up with mom and dad within a certain amount of time to make sure they knew.

Tithing covers things like buildings and heat/ac, etc. Fast offerings are what help people in need. Just fyi.

Welcome to the forum and congrats on your sealing! Never heard of anyone giving/getting a gift for that but I'm sure a thank you note would be meaningful.

Definitely! Canadian Bacon and Pineapple has been my fav for years.

@Scott I'm sorry for your struggles. You haven't said what the health issue is but if you haven't yet, start googling information on natural remedies. There are so many options out there that are not only non-invasive but more effective and cheaper than what the medical system offers.

Just always make it clear you care about her happiness and are cheering for her success. So...get her a copy of "It's Just My Nature" by Carol Tuttle (it's a quick read) to take with her. This will help her and be something she can lend to each companion that will help them as well. Also make sure she understands the 5 love languages (again, to help keep companionships positive). If sending a package (birthday, Christmas, whatever), always include enough for her to share with her comp/s. At the end of letters, maybe include something funny (ie look for the cartoons found in the New Era) and/or a small depiction of some of the MormonAds (also in the New Era). These can lift her spirits and something she can share with her comp/s to lift theirs. That's all I've got for now but will chime back in if something else comes to mind. Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, @Sunday21. @Irishlds97 - I agree with others that have said that you need to live your life. Glad you embraced the Church and welcome to the forum!

Oh, please. fyi - when you go with an extreme response, you lose credibility.

Of course a person can't anticipate everything but it wouldn't hurt to err on the side of caution.

And the flaw in your argument is suggesting it's the infant who decides where, etc. The person with executive function can choose to show some manners and be more discreet if at all possible.

To me, the issue is about manners and common courtesy. Depending on *the culture you are in*, you don't do things that make others uncomfortable. Simple as that.

I was just having a similar thought and was going to post something along the same line. Great minds...

Just remembered that when we sold the house, I also wondered about paying tithing on the sale so asked my bishop. He said it never occurred to him because you're usually using that to buy another so his answer was 'no'. Praying about it, as some have suggested, is always a good idea.

Never included house value into tithing. There are so many costs with it (property tax, upkeep, etc) it doesn't always feel like an asset. That said, when we did sell our house and made a decent amount on it, we donated a good portion to the Church Humanitarian Fund. You can always ask your bishop for his thoughts though. (and I love that your plan is to "join the Church in 2018"!!)

This may be a slightly different angle but one I would like to hear discussed is the idea that those who are seen as dependable, self-sufficient, etc sometimes get ignored but everyone needs something. It may not be meals, rides or last minute babysitting but other things are just as important even if they're not as vocal about it as others might be.

@Jane_Doe I've had a few more thoughts about this. I wonder if the bishop even knows what's going on so you may want to approach it as "in case you're not aware" and point out the ratio of leaders to boys and girls. Bishops have a lot to keep track of so mentioning the disparity wouldn't hurt. Also, maybe suggest options such as: A - combine the boys and girls and focus on the Faith in God requirements (in this day and age, armor is needed more than a doodad for collecting stamps, etc). There are all sorts of games you can play to make learning the Gospel fun (as you probably figured out while serving in AD). 20 kids might be a bit much so split it between the 8 &9 and 10 & 11 year olds. B - combine all the boys every week (week 1 - Faith in God night; week 2 - cover a wolf req (refresher course for older); week 3 - cover a bear req; week 4 - cover a webelos req; week 5 - recognition night, refreshments only). This would probably be funner for the boys since there would be more kids to talk to. This would also free up some of the adults for other callings. I really think there needs to be a transition to having a more spiritual focus so it's not such a shock when the new program comes out (assuming that the Gospel will be more prominent). Anyway, I hope changes will be made that you'll be happy with ... and soon!

You may want to revisit the handbook. Things are outlined a certain way for a reason.

Not always the case.

Maybe 'unfairness'? Check thesaurus if that doesn't quite work.