Manners Matter

@Junior - My parents raised a bunch of kids and none of us were put in costly strollers, cribs, outfits, etc yet all of us survived just fine. Please be a voice of reason to your girlfriend and keep in mind that giving in is not always the best thing to do.

We don't really stick our noses in other people's business and just hope people will make different choices as they learn and grow. There is a consequence though. Not following the Word of Wisdom is one of the things that can keep a person from having a temple recommend. That said, everything God asks us to do is for our benefit so even if drinking coffee seems harmless, God (who created us) says otherwise.

@Grunt Since the OR feature is new, your ward consultants may not be very familiar with it yet. If that's the case, you can always call the help line 1-866-406-1830.

Every kid is different and what works for one may not work for another. If you were an easy child to raise, your mom may not have any idea what to do if your son is more of a challenge. *Please* spend some time listening to the podcasts/reading the posts on the site I posted earlier. It will help all of you.

Just had another thought - Have either of you been to the temple? The endowment is a Priesthood meeting full of instruction and doesn't begin with prayer. There's your precedence.

Thanks so much @Nuero!! You rock!!

Seems to me there's nothing stopping him from saying a silent prayer beforehand.

I was going through some files and came across this image. I can't make out the name that seems to be written on the left shoulder. Anyone have any guesses of the artist or where I might look for where it may have been used before and when (ie Ensign in the 80s...)? Thanks so much!

Sorry that's been happening, @anatess2. Too many members seem to misunderstand what 'keep it simple' means. If my kid came home with all sorts of 'fluff and stuff' but nothing added to their armor (or there was a blasé fare attitude as you describe), I'd be having some conversations with leaders about what they're spending their time preparing (or not as the case may be).

… and nobody likes to have parents over if they think they're going to bring their misbehaved kids so this also affects your social life. Just some food for thought, @Alia.

Listen to these short podcasts and/or read the blog posts here: https://cw.liveyourtruth.com/podcast/

The key is to keep it simple. Activity Night was broken up into 3 segments: ~ While we waited for kids to show up - they either did something to get energy out (hokey-pokey, dance/freeze, etc) or we just chatted ~ Brief welcome, song of my choosing (went with the theme - but girls took turns leading), prayer ~ Short 'sharing time' style lesson (10-15 minutes unless good discussion is happening - scripture/AofF/object lesson...) ~ 15-20 minute activity/game that reinforces the principle and something that gets them out of their seats ~ quieter activity they do until time to go home I know this doesn't add up to an hour but we were never able to start on time (that's just not going to happen here with the parents crazy commutes). I didn't bother with conducting sheets. I only did snacks twice and both were simple and on the healthy side (once because it went with the theme and was an activity; the other time was for Christmas). I left the tracking to the parents as stated in the FinG booklet (pg 17-19 As children complete activities, they can track their progress by marking the chart on page 20 of this guidebook.). I would email the parents of the girls that were there giving a brief synopsis and what still needed to be done *at home* to pass it off. ^^ This also meant that I didn't bother with 'rewards/prizes' when they met the requirement (that's for the parents to do if they choose - "Parents and leaders should help the children understand that the joy of living the gospel is the most important reward." FinG booklet, pg 19) I also didn't plan too far in advance (learned that lesson with a previous calling - was released out of the blue and the person who followed me wasn't the type to do what I had been planning). I also needed the freedom to do what worked best for me any given month so telling the parents the plan months in advance would put me in a corner which I wasn't going to do. I also left birthdays to the Sunday teachers/primary presidency (we had some come so seldom, it would be too risky for a girl to feel left out even though her bday was 2 months ago but she hadn't been coming). Oh, I would have the girls sign a note/card every few months to be sent to the inactives (I made sure to include meeting time, place). There are a lot of ideas out there that people are doing/have done but that doesn't mean you need to do it as well. Just follow the good/better/best principle and don't worry about all the rest. "But sometimes we take the beautiful lily of God’s truth and gild it with layer upon layer of man-made good ideas, programs, and expectations. Each one, by itself, might be helpful and appropriate for a certain time and circumstance, but when they are laid on top of each other, they can create a mountain of sediment that becomes so thick and heavy that we risk losing sight of that precious flower we once loved so dearly. Therefore, as leaders we must strictly protect the Church and the gospel in its purity and plainness and avoid putting unnecessary burdens on our members. And all of us, as members of the Church, we need to make a conscientious effort to devote our energy and time to the things that truly matter, while uplifting our fellowmen and building the kingdom of God." - Pres. Uchtdorf, General Conference Oct 2015

Welcome! One of my ancestral lines is Swedish and I've been wanting to learn about Scandinavian customs and traditions. Would love to travel there some day, too.

You totally missed the point. No, you won't be related to her. Associated, yes; related, no.

Oh, @Junior… I hope you'll really consider what others have shared. A couple other thoughts: ~ Growing up, my mom stressed to "avoid even the appearance of evil". I suggest you implement that idea (no more living with females you're not related to!). 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. ~ You're bothered with the bishop because your unrealistic expectations haven't been met. What you've done is incredibly serious! It's like you stole a 10 cent candy from the store - you broke the Law of Chastity for crying out loud. To think you should get a temple recommend so quickly is preposterous! Tell yourself you'll be worthy/ready in 5 years so in case you *qualify* sooner, it will be a pleasant surprise instead of the frustration you've set yourself up for at this point. ~ I haven't read it but maybe find a copy of "The Miracle of Forgiveness" by Spencer W. Kimball. It might help you get a clue.

In case you're not aware, there's a church bookstore in town. They don't have the biggest selection but may be worth a look. Parking in back. This Is The Place - Kensington (A Deseret Book Licensed Retailer) 103335 KENSINGTON PKWY KENSINGTON MD, 20895 Phone Number: 301-933-1943

Good rule of thumb: "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things."

Had another idea - Make a board game that teaches others different aspects of integrity and play it for a combined ym/yw mutual night and/or acitivity days. Something like: choose card > good scenarios move forward, wrong choices move back ~ didn't take more than your share of the refreshments = move forward 2 spaces ~ looked at someone else's paper during a test at school = move back 5 spots ~ told the ref that the ball was out of bounds even though it meant you didn't score... = move forward 4 spaces etc There could also be quote cards mixed in and/or real-life examples that show the importance of integrity (ie if my dad and brothers hadn't had integrity in their work, there wouldn't have been food on our table because they wouldn't have been chosen for jobs; my brother-in-law was hired for a summer job because he was the only one who answered honestly that he'd be going back to school in the fall even though he knew they wanted someone more long-term)

hmmm --- Maybe she can interview grandparents about when their parents* demonstrated integrity, then type them up and post them on FamilySearch. *going back far enough because people don't show up on FS till after they pass as well as the fact that this is a way to capture that info before it's too late

First, welcome. I'm sorry you've experienced those things. There was a time that I didn't feel like I fit in the Church but I kept going because I knew there was a place for me in the Gospel. Some other thoughts: ~ "what you focus on gets bigger" so put more emphasis on those that treated you well, the good things that happened, etc ~ "kill em with kindness" ~ "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" - Matthew 5:44 ~ get out of the 'Mormon corridor' ~ go anyway

You're welcome! I hope it helps. I've edited the above post to add the other ideas. One other thing - object lessons! They're a great way to get their attention and teach principles. They're also memorable. Check here: http://www.mormonshare.com/search-lds-object-lesson.php Edited: The website changed and is now: https://noboringlessons.com

When AD is cancelled for whatever reason, email the parents with a suggestion or two of what they can do at home (the FiG reqs that are easier at home - ie plan/prepare nutritious meal, visit a museum..., etc). This helps reinforce the fact that it's on the parents for their kid to earn the FiG award and you're just helping. : )

Talent Try it Night - Have slips of paper with different talents listed and they choose to act, do or draw. Send them home with a paper that listed all of them and have them try a different one each week. (see link below) Physical Fitness night (see dev talents #8) - Have them rotate through different activities (jumprope, sit ups, push ups, pilates, shoot hoops, etc). Talk about individual and team activities (not all of our girls can afford dance, soccer teams...). Book Share (see dev talents #6 for discussion) - Have each girl bring a favorite book and tell why she likes it. Family Night (see lrn/lv gspl #8) - Arrange to go to the FHC with a parent (who has a familysearch account) and have them look up their family on puzilla, pedigree pie, rootsmapper and play geneapardy. Print out the free coloring/activity pages on lds.org for them to take home. Putting Christ in Christmas - Share meaningful stories, poems, scriptures in between the girls taking turns playing or singing a non-commercial Christmas song. Dim the lights and bring in a rocker, small Christmas tree, led tealights. Service Night (see srvng othrs #2) - Write letters to missionaries and grandparents, thank you notes to teachers/parents/bus driver... Service Paper Chains - On strips of paper, have the girls write down different things they can do for people and who they'll do them for. Have them put them together to hang in their room and do one each day. Random Act of Kindness Night - Get wrapped candies (ie starbursts) and put a few in baggies with notes they color and then leave on people's windshields in the church parking lot (assuming that's where you meet at the same time as the youth). (the notes were 4x5 - you are a gem, you are loved, you are a gift - found on google). Book of Mormon Night is pretty quick - We learned the 8th AofF (guess-a-letter/hangman), then I showed the girls Pres Monson's 3 minute gen conf talk. I then pulled out the Gospel Art picts and did a short overall review (I could tell some of it was totally new for some of them). We then ended by playing BofM bingo - blackout style since we had time. Manners Night (Serving Others #6) - { was done in May for Mother's Day and I told the girls that moms like good manners 😊 } We did some charades, played 'Miss Manners Says' and then put together manners jars to take home so they could practice different things every day. (got jars at dollar store) Gratitude Night (was done in early Nov but good any time) - The focus was on being thankful, grateful and by extension, having compassion. We read the account of the 10 lepers and talked about the importance of expressing thanks and showing gratitude. We then made a thankful/grateful yarn web (stood in a circle, said something they're thankful for and tossed a ball of yarn to someone else). We then ended by creating a ‘sounds of gratitude’ door hang (they wrote things they appreciate on slips of paper and attached them to a ring with bells hanging from it (dollar store) - took them home to hang on their doors and whenever heard bells, say quick thanks to Heavenly Father). (will edit later to add - talent ideas sheet, manners idea, bom nght, gratitude night) talents - activity days.pdf

activity days - activity ideas.pptx

If the tables were turned, what would you want someone to do/say? or What do you think his dad would hope you would do/say?