Lola3345

Thanks, all! My husband surprised me. When I came home from a class last night, he had his scriptures out along with preach my gospel. He said he has a goal to go to the temple in 2 months time. I said I would support him. We also discussed our poor communication skills, and things we can do to support each other in our marriage. I know it won't all be rainbows and sunshine, but it feels like we're finally on the same gospel page. And I think the best part is that he came to the decision on his own. Yes, I'm sure I influenced it, but I made it clear that I was willing to go along with him at his own pace before he surprised me with this. We're going to read scriptures before bed. And maybe add some things in as we go, but for now, I think this is a good start. We had a wonderful discussion last night about our families, the gospel, and teaching our children. Sometimes it does take something bad to happen to bring people closer together, and I hope that is the case. Thanks for your love, support, and encouragement.

@MrShorty, I don't know if I have a tolerance for any alcohol. His dad is an alcoholic, my grandpa had alcoholism. It's a sore spot for me, and has been since we very first met. I've been up front about my distaste for alcohol and it isn't all because of the church. It may be in control now, but how do I know he won't become his dad? He says it's not an addiction, but he craves and wants it. So I don't feel okay with it, but on the other hand I don't want to lose him either. I don't know what I want, really. Yes, the honesty thing is worse than the drinking. We did have a nice chat about that, and I don't feel like he will lie to me anymore.

@MormonGator, I haven't talked to my bishop about it, I'm not sure I should. I feel it's a conversation my husband should have with him--since they're not my sins, you know? @NeedleinA, are you suggesting we sit down with the bishop together? Or that he goes on his own? I'm not sure he feels like it's necessary to tell the bishop even one on one. I did suggest he talk to someone other than me, but he doesn't want to. I have thought about telling my brother in law, a mormon he actually seems to respect, to just push it, but I don't know if that's crossing the line.

A little background: My husband is a convert. He joined in 2008, served an LDS mission, and we have been married since his return (2011). We have 2 daughters here on earth and 1 angel in heaven. He has been lying and drinking behind my back for the past six months and I finally confronted him. He's not sorry for drinking and breaking his covenants, or for being unworthy of the priesthood. He doesn't really want to change. He's only sorry for how it has made me feel, and has said just that. It feels like everything church related has been for me, to get me. I wouldn't date him cause he wasn't mormon. He became mormon. I wanted to marry a returned missionary. He became one. I thought no one would do that just to be with me, but currently, it sure feels like he did all that just for me. Which is never what I wanted. So in addition to having the burden of doing everything gospel related in the home, I also feel like it's my own fault. He lied to me for 6 months. He doesn't feel like he needs to talk to the bishop, or stop drinking, since he isn't addicted. But he'll do those things if I want him to. I told him I don't want him to do it for me. That he needs to do it because he wants to, not for me, and that until he gets there he should do what he wants. But despite all this, he says he has a testimony. He also got really angry at me and said what have I done for the church, since I didn't go on a mission and he did. Where do we go from here? Counseling? Divorce? Who can I turn to? Who can I tell? I feel all alone. And that I am failing everyone around me.