WANDERER

LOL...footy. Don't think school sport has a soccer team at the moment...occasionally there's a girl's one. Nah...I thought it would be problematic for international competition rules...if merit applies who cares. Used to play mixed social netball and mixed volleyball (half girls hockey team/half boys footy team: we both played semi-finals) and it doesn't bother me having hulking guys running up the courts ...game of skill...merit rules...in the end it's about playing the best game you can. And yeah, they were team players and we were all good mates. Besides, no one is going to give a girl who wields a hockey stick a hard time ; ). Socialising: pretty much the same thing...go figure. Wives, hubbies, girlfriends, boyfriends and the kiddies and extended family and friends...all unofficial team members and supporters. Sports always been just as social as it is sport...keeps everyone happy...which is important if you want the support for the time you spend on it. Probably was a moot point when men were working and women were stay-at-home mums and socialised with other stay-at-home mums...but the weekend now is important for everyone...consideration is there. International sport would kill mixed teams though and when it comes down to it...even if you had the best team...if you can't play then there's no point. No one is going to trade on that. Still...I'd say the boomers will think it's great on the whole (they passed the sex discrimination act ...mostly about women's rights...and I can't see them as nannying their kid's children during their retirement years so they have an investment in paternal leave)...Prime Minister Rudd's an Xer and looking to remake history with striking reforms and the Yers are beginning to vote...the timing might just be right... and it doesn't seem to be rating amongst the interest rate woes and global climate news...because everyone sees the point of family leave for men and equity; the aging boomers should vote in disability just fine cause they don't want age bias and racial is not even debateable. The only problem is in it being diluted again to allow for exceptions...and getting another weak thing that will cause ongoing problems.

I reckon it's doable : ) .

You know...there was once a world where classical music was considered sinful...and the waltz was a hedonistic thing....where reading and writing was feared as evil and letting just anyone read the Bible was unthinkable. There are plenty of examples of changing cultural artifacts outpacing the development of moral principles and behavioural guidelines. Recent studies show that computer games enhance problem solving skills and response rates. We know that teens and young adults are attracted to experiences that allow them to enhance faster synaptic brain development and we understand that risk-taking behaviour is a part of that. We understand why they are attracted to media in terms of developmental stages. What will the moral loopholes will be with a new form of technology and where do we set limits and rules for safety? It's definitely a challenge. Do we need to emulate life a hundred years ago to be morally correct? Why do we do that? And does it just make our children frustrated because on one hand they live in a house without television and on the other hand they are expected to have the visual literacy skills for further education and the workplace, life in general (voting, purchasing, self-education) and social networking. Navigating life from a childhood within a religious culture that freaked out about barcoding on groceries certainly made life far more complicated and challenging than was necessary. There is no moral or religious issue in using an ATM or a card with a computerised barcode and thank goodness that most people can agree on that one. It's not that my parents didn't mean well...but, they liked the 'we are a peculiar people' motto just a little too much at times and while I love them for it...life skills were a little lacking.

I think there may be a bit of opposition from sporting groups...higher than from religious groups LOL. Men will probably see it as timely and I feel that there is a need to revalue fatherhood and to be honest I'm heartily sick of seeing equity portrayed as a feminist issue when it's a family and social issue. But I think it may be shaped a little...and take just as many years as the sex discrimination act did to have the rougher edges of it smoothed out. I am glad that it will not be as short sighted as the sex discrimination act and will consider equity on a broader scale.

Is it about consecration and consecrating...the value that we place in ordinances...heh my pentecostal roots are betraying me: baptism of the Spirit.

National Equality Act/Human Rights Commission Moving towards doing away with the sex discrimination act of 1984 in Australia due to " an inadequate level of protection for men against discrimination on the basis of family responsibilities". This is basically a push towards paternity leave and recognition of the need for equal rights rather than stand-alone women's rights. The commission suggests that there no longer be a place for separate pieces of legislation covering discrimination in different areas such as sex, race and disability. Of interest: Is the statement that: churches, community and sporting groups should no longer be exempt from the Sex Discrimination Act. Hmmm, wonder what this will look like in actuality. Adding news link: Relationships - Life & Style Home - theage.com.au

Edit: Because I get worked up when people talk about the whole male vs female thingy...like gender is such a big issue...we're all human. We feel the same way when our relationships fall apart...it's just painful.

Luke 7 44And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. 45Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. 47Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. Mark 14 3And being in Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he sat at meat, there came a woman having an alabaster box of ointment of spikenard very precious; and she brake the box, and poured it on his head. 4And there were some that had indignation within themselves, and said, Why was this waste of the ointment made? 5For it might have been sold for more than three hundred pence, and have been given to the poor. And they murmured against her. 6And Jesus said, Let her alone; why trouble ye her? she hath wrought a good work on me. 7For ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good: but me ye have not always. 8She hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint my body to the burying. John 12 4Then saith one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, which should betray him, 5Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor? 6This he said, not that he cared for the poor; but because he was a thief, and had the bag, and bare what was put therein. 7Then said Jesus, Let her alone: against the day of my burying hath she kept this. 8For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always. So they love much? Is that a problem? Um, apparently according to the law both these women had no business annointing Christ. A sinner...no priesthood authority..women at that....you can just hear the collective intake of breath..and right in front of a pharisee too. To worship is to spend time communing and communicating with God. There are many different ways in which to worship God: prayer, meditation, singing, dance, church going, temple going and following His word and keeping the covenants. But to see praising God as an act of idleness and waste...hmmmm. I can almost hear people saying out loud: why are you going to church..wouldn't that time better be spent getting out and helping the poor? What are you praying for? You are really going to spend all that time doing a Bible study course? And so on. Why would you do that/what a waste of time? Two years of your young life as a missionary...what? In the context of Luke 10: 38Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. 39And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. 40But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. 41And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: 42But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. What about *works*? Her sister wasn't helping with the housework. Are we careful and troubled about many things? Yes. Are we missing out on the good parts? Why is it described as needful? Some things are seen as foolishness...and praising and worshipping God ...sitting on a cloud playing a harp...how boring......reminds me of...mocking David for dancing to God ...and there is nothing new under the sun about it. I would think that there will be people who will spend time in heaven praising God...who have been forgiven much and who will be overcome by His presence. No point in muttering or complaining here on Earth about it either. We worship God in Spirit and in Truth. Exactly as it says.

Doing God's will is an act of love and worship, I would agree that keeping His covenants is an outward sign...yet it isn't worthy worship if it is not from inward and from a heart that leans towards God...what Jesus had to say about the Pharisees sums up that sense of *not worshipful* for me.

Firstly, you are not a bad mother and you do not need to conform to what he is telling you you are...nor do you need to be set up to be that person. Pushing your buttons and then watching you lose it at the kids and everyone around you ...ugh. You don't need to lose the plot with the kids....that's a misdirection of other frustrations in your life at those that don't have a choice and didn't create the problem. Deep breath, count to ten and make a choice not to do that and it just makes you feel worse in the longrun. Find something else to vent the pain and excess energy of frustration on...exercise is a good outlet. Whatever you vent on...don't direct the energy on him...it will go nowhere....totally unproductive and it's always going to be a lose/lose situation. We can't solve problems effectively when we are angry... do something else with it and deal with things when you are calmer. You also do need space and time to get out of that push button mode....where your stress levels are so high even the smallest triggers can send you crashing and depressed. This is where counselling may help. You're going to need help to get out of this situation and that's hard to do when you're feeling to low to cope with small problems let alone major life changes. Hun, I kinda understand a husband being into porn and the whole scenario of spiralling downwards there...particularly in an unfulfilling marriage. Some of that is anger and low self-esteem and frustration...which is entirely normal in a situation like that to feel that way....but it's not making you feel great about yourself to do this. Overcoming an addiction in a situation like this is hard to do...because it's the problems behind the addictions that need to be dealt with. Cut yourself a break...God loves you...do what you can to overcome it...but deal with the triggers. Battling an addiction is a hard thing even in a peaceful and loving home. Having kids with this guy...well...we all wish and hope for better and are optimistic and try to solve problems. Hindsight is a wonderful thing...but you can't judge yourself on what you know now and what you would have/should have done. I believe that people do the best they can and try to make the best decisions...sometimes it just doesn't work out the way that we hoped things would. Forgive yourself on that one. Appearances can be very deceptive and some people are very good at covering and hiding their problems...and slowly over time you begin to realise what you are getting into as small revelations build up over time until you find yourself in a situation you can't believe you got into. It is quite possible that he never thought it would turn out this way either...some times the covering is so good that they even fool themselves and continue to do so. There must have been love somewhere there in the beginning. These things happen. Keep studying. Seek counselling. Decide whether to heal or move on...this will depend on his willingness to also seek couselling and repair the marriage. One person alone cannot do it. Have you ever heard the saying that people who say they are crazy are not crazy enough to be crazy...well same thing. If you think you are going to hell then you are spiritually looking towards heaven...people who choose to head towards hell don't worry about heaven or God. God sees beyond circumstances to your heart.

I have visited MAD...as a reader, not as a contributer. as the place is a kind of newbie poster hell. But the conversations are very interesting. While the discussions can be heated there are tangents in discussions that are worth investigating. Though it is a very closed kind of forum in my view...you wouldn't want to accidentally trigger off a religious lynching frenzy *LOL* although I would qualify it as much milder in reaction than you would get if you *trolled* (although trolls are few on the net...as in serious hobbyist trolls) a non-religious forum...depends on your perspective on things. I may visit CARMS...perhaps. Many are the forum lurkers and guests....I found it interesting that on one search I ended up trawling a conversation from as far back as 2002 for perspectives on something or other. There are some great conversations out there..and they are far more valid to read than FAIR or FARMS sometimes when you want a personal take on a belief.

LOL at preying for people in turmoil ; )

LOL Kona...I'm on dialup and the pictures load up *at the usual dialup speed* for high resolution pictures. Not quite long enough to think about making a cup of coffee. 600 by 400 pixels is usual size... the bytes are a bit hefty...but if you're into craft you want the photographic quality to the degree that you can count the stitches and beads ; ) .

Allesok...so I've read...but I'm not quite sure what to think about it.

I used to play hockey socially and we had a few teens come up and play B grade adult (as young as 13). They still played with their own team in A grade comps in some cases. But of course they weren't allowed to play lower grade teams. If you're not in that grade then you don't play it...and there's the same goings on when this occurs from the coaches/refs/players/parents/etc. Usually a decision that is made is final. However, mostly it isn't protested...cause if you love your sport you want to play at a higher level mostly. Yes, it is sad being promoted (and every now and then being downgraded) out of your team..it's generally done slowly and they guest play for a while or attend training sessions intermittently until either they're ready to change over or the coaches decide they've had enough of a weaning time. If they still want the social aspect of staying with their team they can take on another position or become social co-ordinator/assistant coach or ref games. They're never put on a team unless it's equivalent to what they were doing already: as in heading for the finals as well. If you play for a club then you play for a club and whatever that entails. It's not like they're getting paid much to coach or ref or run a club or league...it's mostly a voluntary thing and for love of the sport...they do the best they can to make the game fair and fun for everybody. Sometimes you just have to go with club and league decisions even if you'd rather just play with the team you're on. This is part of playing club sport. But that being said, I think he should finish the season in the team that he's in.

I decided to tally it as: frozen storage (Non-emergency plan: about 3 months of food. It comes under life preparedness: if you break a bone or whatever you aren't going to be utilising your pantry basics. It's great for bouts of influenza and whatever small things life throws at you. I cycle through the pantry basics using OAMC recipe plans for frozen meals. I think of it as a staple part of planning ahead). In conjunction with pantry (Emergency storage: ideally one year. I think it makes sense to aim for at least three months of it in the value of : all it takes is a can opener kind of prep/low water and no energy useage for disaster situations).

I spent my youth hemming and rehemming countless hems *they usually lasted until I washed them*. I had a go at quilting and started a little patch with a girl on it about 10cm square and never finished it. As usual it started to unravel after a short amount of time. I actually have a friend that can't slice cheese and she has about the same focus on doing that as I do on sewing...I know why I'm so bad at it. I have sewing ADHD. You have to really love doing something to undo and redo it over and over again......but I can really appreciate the smocking pics...they are just lovely. I am happy to undo and redo knitting and crochet projects *THEY ARE SO QUICK TO UNDO YAY*. BTW thanks for the jumper tip. I made one many years ago with my mother's help and ended up with one sleeve longer than the other *neither of us realised...it looked like I had gotten the hang of it..LOL*...but I really had a lot of supervision and I have no idea how to do it again. I would have joined the wool anywhere for sure on my first jumper attempt. I'll bet I would have been rewinding wool.

I cross stitch, do tapestries (I think of them as colouring in for grown ups) and tat lace (I have done some insane projects with thread little more than the consistency of cotton).. this is what I've been doing since I was 6. I've kind of moved on to.... basic knitting and crocheting (socks, beanies, slippers, flowers, dishcloths etc). I would rather wear or use something I make. I have an idea that I want to combine the above with this and make some interesting things...finely knitted lacy cardigans with tatting and embroidery...if I can work out how to modify patterns in order to do that. Ready to go the next step and make a cardy or jumper. Sewing and quilting *scares me to death*....I just don't have the sewing gene....someday perhaps I'll get a sewing machine. I don't do a lot of projects...I pick something overwhelmingly hard and tend to do it through vacation periods when I have the time to commit intensely to getting something done. My last project that I finished was knitted Mary Jane slippers with crocheted flowers...a bit of a challenge since I have doll feet and patterns have to be scaled down.

How do we let go of unfulfilled dreams...interesting article Hemi... ...by dreaming bigger than the original dream and achieving what you have as fully as you can.

I'm just wondering if the information that you really need is in terms of tax concessions...I'm from a different country and not sure of your general situation but...I'm thinking that any offset in income might just be offset by less tax from your takehome pay as you would be taxed on your combined income as a couple...and there may be certain disability/dependent claims you could also make on your tax refund. I wonder if there is also a rental assistance/dependent/carers support/subsidies or other benefits you could both claim as a married couple from social security.... not sure...just a thought. Probably not much help...and you may have looked into it already.

Property/contracts/insurance/...all those little things that make life difficult because the law doesn't recognise unions outside of marriage...for true equality to take place you need to look past the homosexual debate and choose to recognise other family type arrangements. For example we have an aged pensioner population that is getting married simply because they are able to own a higher amount of property as a 'married couple' and access other benefits which they can't access as single pensioners in order to improve life quality..even though the marriage is in name only. While those that are simply living together and are not married have the benefits of shared bill payment and separate benefits even though they may be married in everything but name only. People are living lies...simply because they feel they have no other alternative. And what about same sex people who are not married or do not have such a relationship but simply live together because they have chosen to do so for many years...they also go through legalistic hoops in terms of shared property and carers pensions and such. It really is time to recognise and encompass different living contractual arrangements and to address situations where the law is not compassionate or equal and this doesn't just apply to homosexual couples. If we can't adress these situations than we are not being equitable or socially just. End of story. This is a teensy moral bandaid for a much larger problem that people are choosing to ignore in terms of what is popular or has political support rather than what is right.

...a commentary wiki would be great, but a massive undertaking. I have downloaded books onto my mp3...great for housework and such...but much slower than actual reading...ack...because I'd like to have my library converted to palm size. Also I've d/l some of the literature that is on common license...from the historical library sources...because it's there and nowhere else. I think online libraries and books need to progress more for a portable reader to be worthwhile...as well as wireless services. Someday...perhaps.

Oh dear...I can just see teens who have a high tech ability scrutinising their own parents in the same way (after all caring for family members in such a way has been condoned): emails/web histories/undeleted text messages on cell phones...a random accidental click on a not so good website might turn into a bit of a dramatic social fiasco ...a friend's confidence may be jeopardised...I can think of some good legal reasons for not teaching this behaviour to teens. Of course there's always the scenario of adult children caring for their own children and later for their aged parents ...it sets up some odd family patterns of behaviour. If a teen is high risk...perhaps...but it might not have the best of outcomes.

This is not uncommon for gorillas in captivity or in the wild...and sometimes not the mother only. This baby Claudio (male) was thought to have a heart defect...this is an even sadder story...of how the breeding progams in zoos are fighting the battle to assist in the preservation of endangered gorillas...but... Heart Disease Is Killing Caged Gorillas - Science & Health news | Newser: Know More. Search Less. The gorilla mother also had another baby that she rejected: Gana rejected Mary Zwo for six weeks. Staff at the zoo finally intervened and rescued the baby, which was taken to a veterinary hospital with dehydration and exposure. Mary Zwo was never returned to her mother and has lived at a zoo in Stuttgart with four other gorillas ever since. Further googling on Mary Zwo tells more to the story: (cached) The male father gorilla N'Kwango repeatedly attacked the mother and baby. The mother and baby had been separated from the group and the final attack resulted in hospitalisation. After the separation, Gana appeared to pine for the other gorillas and had neglected her baby as a result. This is unusual in that gorilla infanticide is generally done by a male gorilla who is not the father of the offspring. HOSP GOES APE OVER TINY TOT - New York Post Mary Zwo (Mary Two) was named after another zoo baby Mary that was killed at the age of five months by another gorilla (no details..but a fair guess could be made). Mary was a half sibling of Mary Zwo (same father N'Kwango, Mother Changa). Changa was the mother gorilla who had Gana carry her living baby (father also N'Kwango) while cradling the dead Claudio on her back. On Claudio and Gana the zoo said This time, Münster Zoo rejected the idea of stepping in to save Claudio. "There was no point in intervening again," said Mr Adler. "We cannot keep on taking away children from a mother." (there are difficulties when the babies are rescued and reared in terms of breeding programs for the gorillas: Mourned after being rejected: baby gorilla at heart of zoo row - Europe, World - The Independent). Other comment made in the above article: we hoped she would be a better mother this time round. Just felt like telling the story of the Muenster Zoo's gorillas because it deserves to be told and because the news isn't telling this story.

Hoping the church goers have a good sense of humour...and that things don't get too heated.