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KuriChan

Nice Guys

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What men want in a woman? This is what they generally want.

A man wants a woman who:

is sexy

is adventureous

is smart but does not make them feel dumb

trusts them without reserve

is supportive

can cook/bake

loves them unconditionally

cleans

is thoughtful

is confident

sees him as a hero

allows them to lead

can communicate with clarity

is calm and collected

is spiritually strong

appreciates them

shows their love for them through action

after marriage wants sex regularly and is fun about it

respects him

Men need to be useful. If a man has no purpose he is lost. These days everything is about woman power, and thus our men are often left behind.

I remember my brother dating many women before finding his wife. One weekend he dated like six or seven women. . . anyway, the women loved him. Most of the women in that ward like my brother for one reason or another, but mostly they liked it that he noticed them and paid attention to them on their dates.

The men in that ward *grumbled* Yes GRUMBLED about him! Oh he's taking all the women, see how they all love him and keep talking about him. But there was just one thing, he was the only one actively asking these women out on dates to find his eternal companion. If the other men in that ward did what my brother did they would've all found wives.

Women want men to be assertive.

Thusly, those men who gripe about a woman finding interest in them with ulterior motives or not being able to find a nice girl. Do what my brother did. You'll find the one for you.

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Let me modify that list to my own tastes :D

is good looking (to me)

is able to get my humor

is smart, and in some ways smarter than I am

trusts me without reserve, but doesn't take my bullcrap

is supportive

knows how to make hamburger helper :D

loves me unconditionally

cleans, but doesn't let me leave messes for her

is thoughtful and kind

is confident, or at least as good at faking it as I am

sees me as a good guy

allows me to lead, but not lead astray

can communicate with clarity, and realizes that miscommunication isn't intentional!

is calm and collected

is spiritually strong

appreciates me

shows their love for them through action, hugs, and many "I love you"s

after marriage wants sex at all (:lol:)

respects me

loves kids

pushes me to be better, because she knows I can be

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I love all these lists. We think that if we land a guy or girl with a certain quota of qualities that we will be happy. Hmmmmm..... Like having someone by our side that is beautiful can make us happy. Proud maybe, but happy?

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Just thought I'd chime in with a reply to the original poster - The idea that nice guys finish last with women is so pervasive and incorrect a notion that I thought I'd chime in and say what the real truth is:

Attraction is not a choice. No one can choose who they do and do not find attractive. This is a truism for both women and men, but people don't realize it. Is there a gene that make women find men that are respectful and attentive attractive? No. Instead, there are several things that the average 'Nice guy' does that repulses women.

1) They don't show their attraction - This is the classic nice guy mistake. If you come across as a best friend without flirting or showing yourself as wanting them -romantically- they will not think of you romantically. Then, the nice guy pops out of nowhere and asks the nice girl out. It's shocking and jarring because they haven't thought of you that way.

Why the jerk prospers - The jerk prospers in this because he doesn't -care- what she thinks. The nice guy is so nervous, he won't approach and will instead pine away from a distance.

2) Puppy Dog Syndrome - Conversely, another mistake 'nice guys' make is the puppy dog syndrome. They'll follow the girl around, hang on their every word and move when the girl commands. Think about when a woman has done this to you - Did you like it? No. You found it a bit creepy and off-putting. Would you date the puppy-dog girl? No. And the girl will not date a puppy-dog guy.

Why the jerk prospers - The jerk prospers because he, again, doesn't -care- what the girl wants. He'll never be the weird puppy-dog. Instead, it becomes a game. Many people want what they can't have.

How the nice guy can prosper - You might think, based on what I've said, that you have to not care what the girl thinks. This is not true. You -do- have to care. What the jerk has is a false confidence - A bravado that falls away the moment someone who's opinion he cares about pipes up.

Be confident - If the two of you are planning something, have an opinion. Nothing drives women more crazy than a guy who doesn't care one way or another(And not crazy in a good way).

Care about the way you dress - Believe it or not, women will notice if you don't clean your nails or can't color coordinate.

Have interests outside of just her - Do not obsess. Obsession is not attractive. Learn to take rejection - Sometimes, a girl will say no. Big deal. Move on and don't give it a second thought.

Just as importantly - This will go against every fiber of your being, but it's true. We have to learn to drive, to exercise properly and even dress ourselves. Every skill in life is learned and it's no shame to do so. If you're having issues dating, learn how to attract someone. Talk to a friend, someone you trust - Anybody who is of a mindset to help you. Don't assume someone you trust will judge you if you ask for help. Just do it and it can change everything.

Anyway, that's a strange first posting from someone. But if you don't believe me, let's ask the ladies - Whaddya think?

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Well, I like that list.

But sometimes I think lists are deceptive. I think we fool ourselves into thinking that if we find this guy or girl who matches the list then we will be happy.

Lists don't take into account flaws and life changing events. Lists usually reflect the values of the moment or values of youth. Sometimes they turn into unrealistic requirements that turn into stumbling blocks.

Anyway, would you want your date to be evaluating you against some list?

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Care about the way you dress - Believe it or not, women will notice if you don't clean your nails or can't color coordinate.

color coordinate? what doesn't go with blue jeans and boots?

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Let me modify that list to my own tastes :D

is good looking (to me)

is able to get my humor

is smart, and in some ways smarter than I am

trusts me without reserve, but doesn't take my bullcrap

is supportive

knows how to make hamburger helper :D

loves me unconditionally

cleans, but doesn't let me leave messes for her

is thoughtful and kind

is confident, or at least as good at faking it as I am

sees me as a good guy

allows me to lead, but not lead astray

can communicate with clarity, and realizes that miscommunication isn't intentional!

is calm and collected

is spiritually strong

appreciates me

shows their love for them through action, hugs, and many "I love you"s

after marriage wants sex at all (:lol:)

respects me

loves kids

pushes me to be better, because she knows I can be

Ah humor and knowing how to have fun! That's definitely important. I knew I was forgetting something.

About sex. I remember reading about a couple who went into marriage counseling. They were asked how often they had sex. The couple replied at the same time with the woman saying, "oh all the time" and the man saying, "hardly ever." The couple looked at each other in surprise. As it turns out they were having sex once a week every Saturday and each had a completely different view of what regularly meant.

Edited by ruthiechan

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I think I like the look of a man that works phisically ( rough hands, muscles, etc) than a man that works in an office.

My hubby use to be a logger and when he got home from work he smelled so good

what about insulated muscles? i've always been kinda fluffy over my country boy bulk..lol

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Well, I'm not complaining about not being able to find a nice guy to settle down with. I'm complaining about not having any idea how to pick up the nice guys as rightly so (small island, only 11 thousand) they are scared of me and don't know how to approach me for fear of getting smacked in the jaw or laughed at. I've been really trying to act normal and friendly like, but it looks like me reputation kind of proceeds me. I guess it doesn't help that quite a few of our church leaders like reminding visiting inactives that it can be done!

HELLP!!!!!!!!!

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Well, I'm not complaining about not being able to find a nice guy to settle down with. I'm complaining about not having any idea how to pick up the nice guys as rightly so (small island, only 11 thousand) they are scared of me and don't know how to approach me for fear of getting smacked in the jaw or laughed at. I've been really trying to act normal and friendly like, but it looks like me reputation kind of proceeds me. I guess it doesn't help that quite a few of our church leaders like reminding visiting inactives that it can be done!

HELLP!!!!!!!!!

Well, Moe:

It sounds like you are a bit proud of your reputation LOL. Perhaps you have to work on proving them all wrong. You have to shock them into believing that you had a change of heart, an angelic visitation or head trauma. It does not matter. The issue is to change your haircut, soften your demeanor, surprise them.

In the end, if what you do (did) gets in the way of finding a companion you should work on it asap as to show that it is behind you. I guess, being wiser, more mature and thus aware of relationship complexities has also great appeal and can help you find your elusive future companion. Show them that you know better. You can still be you. Just quit walking on the wild side.:):):)

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I think I like the look of a man that works phisically ( rough hands, muscles, etc) than a man that works in an office.

My hubby use to be a logger and when he got home from work he smelled so good

Ah, you would love me then after I had been out camping for a week without a shower. Real manly, although I can hardly stand myself.

We men should take a clue and quit showering when we are young and courting. Go to your date's house fresh from running a mile.

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Ah, you would love me then after I had been out camping for a week without a shower. Real manly, although I can hardly stand myself.

We men should take a clue and quit showering when we are young and courting. Go to your date's house fresh from running a mile.

My new smell-good stick.

Essence of bmy- ;)

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Well, Moe:

It sounds like you are a bit proud of your reputation LOL. Perhaps you have to work on proving them all wrong. You have to shock them into believing that you had a change of heart, an angelic visitation or head trauma. It does not matter. The issue is to change your haircut, soften your demeanor, surprise them.

In the end, if what you do (did) gets in the way of finding a companion you should work on it asap as to show that it is behind you. I guess, being wiser, more mature and thus aware of relationship complexities has also great appeal and can help you find your elusive future companion. Show them that you know better. You can still be you. Just quit walking on the wild side.:):):)

:lol: Well okay, so yes I may still enjoy scaring some because they are so timid, not exactly what I'm used to being around. :D The rest ... I don't I know they are nice guys and everything I know that because I know they're exactly what you look for when you are ready to settle down, etc, but sometimes they just go on and on and on and when they don't they say something completely random which usually leaves me thinking what the?!!!!

Anyway, you are right. If I really wanted to I could tone down my barriers with them and see what happens, but I guess I'm just not ready yet. Don't know why, I know I want it, I guess I'm just not ready. :shrug:

So ladies looking for church worthy young single adult men that will make perfect husbands ... they're all living in Rarotonga. Go to the Arorangi Branch! See you there. ;)

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Being nice to women is not enough. I don't know what more a person should have to do to be honest. I have always heard people say that if you be the best person you can be all good things will come to you. Is this a lie? Or is it simply some feel good kind of nonsense to give people hope?

Fact of the matter is that nice guys DO finish last and it is NOT even remotely close to being their fault. And i think the majority of women out there know they are to blame. If you want somebody to be nice to you, care for you and be there to the end, it cannot be that hard to open your eyes and see the obvious choices.

So, women, what is it that you really want? A man that can relate emotionally and be open to listen to anything, and just plain and simply be there for you.... OR.... Some egotystical moron who has selective caring modes... But probably has a six pack, albeit outside of himself does not really care about anything other than the image that you give to him to uphold his portrayal of the ego he has built for himself, is that what women want?

This is an open question, and i wouldn't expect honest answers from any women to be honest... But hey, come on, surprise me.

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Fact of the matter is that nice guys DO finish last and it is NOT even remotely close to being their fault. And i think the majority of women out there know they are to blame. If you want somebody to be nice to you, care for you and be there to the end, it cannot be that hard to open your eyes and see the obvious choices.

So, women, what is it that you really want?.

Wow!! The post sounded a bit hostile to me. Frustrated?

Well, generalizations do nobody any good. For the most part, 18-20 year old girls are arguably physically-biological mature enough as women but hardly emotionally. The fat is that most people (men and women) have very little social training to behave, relate and interact in a mature way. Most have very little insight into how to select a companion, what to expect in terms of marriage and family relationships. Specially in the West, we have succumbed to the notion of romantic love and tend to willfully forgo analysis of any and all other tangible attributes that more accurately describe personality and character. The above also holds true for the male counterparts.

Those less fortunate in matters of love lament or point outward as to the reasons why they can not find what they seek. However, if by age 24 and ready to marry we are not the absolute best we can be mentally, physically and spiritually, I suggest self examination may yield better fruits than blame. Just some thoughts.

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Every male in their early 20's that has ever felt for a girl will know exactly what i mean. When men get to such a point, especially at such an age, they will do just about anything for a girl they feel deeply for. But it is usually the girl who puts the firewalls up. Trust me, been there done that (still there, still doing that to be honest).

So that comes back to my initial explanation. Knowing these feelings, i know i have, and would again let my emotions loose for that special somebody, but, can i count on them being returned. Not likely. Women play more mind games with men then they would ever admit to. And i'm under the strong impression that they like having control in such a situation that they will string it along for amusment or gain.

Frustrated? Don't know about frustrated, but tired of said games, yes.

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Cure) I am sure that the small percentage of women that actually got all the way through this blog without deleting my "friend" status with them is curious as how to cure this social epidemic. Where is one to find nice guys? That is really quite easy, actually. I compiled a few methods:

1) Go through your list of friends' phone numbers on a Friday/Saturday night. The nice guys will be the ones that are home to answer the phone. Either that or their line will be busy with them listening to the tears of a friend. Leave a message, he will call you back. Really.

2) When he talks to you, he spends more time looking at what is above your neck instead of below.

3) Ask him what your favorite food/song/movie is. That would be easy for someone that has taken the time to learn about you and care enough to remember (likely because he wants to surprise you with some meaningful gift etc. later on).

4) Try to picture in your mind your "best guy friend(s)" and "we are like brother/sister" type friend(s) because you "can always talk to him" and "trust him with anything". Yes, those guys that you never even considered because he doesn't have that "unapproachable" type of appeal that women crave so much. I guarentee he is perfectly capable of becoming that "unapproachable" type of guy for you, but he doesn't do it because your feelings are more important to him than inflating his ego. That is why he has spent so much of his time on the phone listening to your crying about how hard your life is because you keep making the same mistakes. You don't like hearing a guy you have a crush on talking to you about his love life with other girls. We don't like it either, but the nice ones will listen anyway. Then, over and over again, you will find another guy and your friend's time and services will no longer be necessary... until you get hurt again by another jerk.

I could continue for a long, long time, but this is more than enough to get you girls going on your "starter's course" to dating success. I hope you have enjoyed this sneak peek into guys' views on dating. You have a phone. Practice starts now. Ready... go!

You forgot to mentioned that nice guys "whine" and are spineless and insecure and as much as women hate jerks, the sad truth is that they hate spineless men(Nice guys) even more.

Jerks are assertive and what's wrong with going to clubs? Nice guys can be boring too. Nice guys try too hard to please women.

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