Not sure how much I want to be involved in Church.....

[SLGarcia]

Hi, just registered for the site and enjoy the content here. Good boards and nice, civil discussions.

I must begin by noting that I'm not very active at church. It's been about two or three years since I've been an every Sunday kind of guy, and about four years since I've enjoyed church very much. I'm a convert and was baptized eight years ago.

I've got two basic problems: First, I've not felt that church is very uplifting or all that helpful for me much of the time. Second, I've got some real questions about whether the Church is true or the place I need to be. I can't say that I'm sure one way or the other right now, to be perfectly honest.

I do want to give it a try, and I know there are some things I need to improve upon. So I want to really try to get the Lord back into my life, and I'm quite sure that however it turns out, being a part of the church community is probably a good thing.

I'll be moving here in a couple months and would like to attend my new ward regularly. However, I don't know that I really want to jump feet first into callings, home teaching, and all of that. I have some things I want to figure out for myself and don't really want others to be directly involved in all that, and I certainly don't want to teach things that I'm unsure about at present. Mostly, I want to go to church regularly, meet a few people, and work toward making progress in my own life and in figuring out if the Church really is true.

So, my question: would I be likely to get a good result by putting all that on the table with the bishop when I get there? Or would it just put me on the fellowshipping list? Thanks and I appreciate any and all opinions.

P.S. Sorry if this is the wrong board - I really didn't see anything that would be appropriate.

[ruthiechan]

Well, maybe you can simply say, "Hi I'm so and so and I'm feeling my way back into the Church".

Would it be an issue to only do Home teaching? It might help you find a friend and you don't have to be the one to give the lesson.

You can always pray for your leaders to be guided by the Spirit on how to appropriately handle your personal situation. It worked for me. :)

Are there any issues you have that you'd like to discuss here? I and others would be glad to help you if we can. If not, that's cool. No pressure. :)

[Moksha]

There are so many questions in putting together the puzzle of the big picture. I would suggest looking for the little things you like or find helpful about the Church. You could think of this as finding the corners of a puzzle and that always helps. :)

[SLGarcia]

Ruthie, thanks for your comment - it's very perceptive and helpful. I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with home teaching - but I really don't want to be the "keep him active" companion. That's my whole concern, really. I don't want to be anyone's project, as any enjoyment I could get from church would be pretty much gone at that point.

In terms of my feelings about the Church....the real problem is that I just don't believe anything all that much. I've had spiritual experiences and at least one that is very difficult to rationalize away, but I can't seem to find the motivation to move forward spiritually. This isn't the Church's problem, God's problem, or my EQP's problem - it's mine and I simply need to commit more fully, if only to figure out for sure where I am. So I'm OK with being honest about that, but I worry that trying to engage more than just coming on Sundays will be an invitation to be a project, and I just cannot see myself being willing to tolerate that. In my last ward, I participated as an instructor because there were almost no active members and I really didn't want to be a part of the problem there. So I taught the lessons, and by most accounts did OK, but I didn't feel honest teaching principles to which I haven't really committed. But I can't think of a way to avoid that situation without being at least somewhat honest about my situation, and that honesty may well put me in a position where I'm a project. Sorry that's long and rambling

Moksha, thank you as well. There is much that I admire about the Church, and there's obviously everything to admire about the Savior. It may simply be that my personal commitment needs to improve - where I am now, everything bothers me, be it the Church's politics (let's please not talk about that in this thread) or the clumsy commitment pattern attempts of the EQP. That's not appropriate or helpful to anyone, but I think it's kinda where I am, so I want to try to figure out how to approach the next ward and make it the best experience I can.

[Palerider]

Hi, just registered for the site and enjoy the content here. Good boards and nice, civil discussions.

I must begin by noting that I'm not very active at church. It's been about two or three years since I've been an every Sunday kind of guy, and about four years since I've enjoyed church very much. I'm a convert and was baptized eight years ago.

I've got two basic problems: First, I've not felt that church is very uplifting or all that helpful for me much of the time. Second, I've got some real questions about whether the Church is true or the place I need to be. I can't say that I'm sure one way or the other right now, to be perfectly honest.

I do want to give it a try, and I know there are some things I need to improve upon. So I want to really try to get the Lord back into my life, and I'm quite sure that however it turns out, being a part of the church community is probably a good thing.

I'll be moving here in a couple months and would like to attend my new ward regularly. However, I don't know that I really want to jump feet first into callings, home teaching, and all of that. I have some things I want to figure out for myself and don't really want others to be directly involved in all that, and I certainly don't want to teach things that I'm unsure about at present. Mostly, I want to go to church regularly, meet a few people, and work toward making progress in my own life and in figuring out if the Church really is true.

So, my question: would I be likely to get a good result by putting all that on the table with the bishop when I get there? Or would it just put me on the fellowshipping list? Thanks and I appreciate any and all opinions.

P.S. Sorry if this is the wrong board - I really didn't see anything that would be appropriate.

Why don't you put it all on the table when speaking with your Bishop and see what happens.....I would rather have someone tell me what their thinking as opposed to beating around the bush.

[hordak]

I would let the Bishop know your intentions. My wife was converted , brought me back from 10 years of inactivity and we got a calling to teach in primary.We had not even finished Gospel principals class. While I trust in the leadership its a pretty daunting task to teach the kids lessons that we are just leaning a few days before they are.I recall one lesson where she

stopped and a gave me a confused after reading that Jesus created the earth.So i understand where you are coming from.

[siouxz72]

SL,

I like your idea of laying it out there for the Bishop. He is privy to some pretty great spiritual counsel and would be a great help. And how about this...rather than you becoming someone's pet project, why don't you look for someone at church that you would like to befriend and make them your pet project! I bet the friendship(s) you develop will be beneficial to the both of you! Good luck, brother!

-siouxz

ps...hordak, that's exactly why you two got called in to primary! so you could learn the Gospel Principals as you taught them to the children. think about it..how many times did you have an aha! moment while teaching that class?! :)

[MarginOfError]

Growing up, there was a father in our ward that actually wasn't a member of the Church, but came with his wife and boys. He didn't agree with everything either, and had no real desire to commit himself to the principles of the Church. He did, however, enjoy being with everyone at Church and enjoyed the activities. The thing he did do that we all respected was he still showed up for every service project he could, and was always willing to help in any capacity he could find.

So, if you don't want to be involved in teaching, perhaps you can ask to be involved more with the serving, whether it be helping people move, mowing lawns for old widows, or whatever the needs in your area are. You might be able to find a role on the activities committee.

One word of caution to you--if you go back to Church, it's a good bet that no matter what, a few people with well meaning hearts will make you their project. It's an unfortunate by product of being such a missionary oriented Church is that some of the members feel it is their duty to redeem the world and can be a little too proactive about it. My advice, ignore their efforts and just try to make some friends. In fact, if you say from the get go that you're there just to make friends and develop a social circle, I think you'll find that many will respect your space.

[utcowboy]

When you loose yourself in service to others, you give yourself to the will of the Lord.

May I suggest prayer and counsel with you bishop and other leaders. But mostly, take your worries to the Lord an allow him to help you with them. I hope that we are helpful to you and can be friends and friendly, rather than turning you into a "project." :)

[bytor2112]

SLG: You are definitely not alone. Lots and lots of people struggle from time to time. I would put it all out there for your Bishop so that he understands where your at spiritually and how best he can help you. This isn't a sprint it is a marathon. Heavenly Father is more concerned with your direction, not your velocity. Remember "the things of God can only be understood by the power of the Holy Spirit" - Bruce McConkie. It is a wonderful journey, you just have to let go of the world and have faith.

[Misshalfway]

Hello SL,

I can understand a little of what you feel and have recently gone thru similar circumstance. I don't understand everything yet. I still have little pockets where I argue with this concern or that, but one thing that I do know is that the most powerful changes in my heart and my mind come from my scripture study and my personal prayers. I am certainly not the most perfect, especially thru out the last while, and for that I am sorry because I know that when I was more vigilant in those areas, the windows of heaven seemed so open to me and I felt Father opening layers of understanding in my mind -- understanding about the gospel and deep understanding about myself and my current circumstances.

There have been key moments in this last year and a half where the scriptures and prayer were my only lifeline. Again, I don't see everything as clearly yet as I would like, but if I know anything at all I know that that little bit of effort, even if it is a battle within to do it, makes the biggest difference in my testimony.

I have been a project. I have had people on my porch who didn't know my name but talked to me like I was a puppy. But I will say this. People in this church are not perfect and they don't always know what to say or do. But I know that they act out of love -- even if they do see your name on a list. Perhaps Father will lead the right people to you. Maybe they won't even look like the best fit. Blessings in disguise. I think sometimes Father likes to do that.

My best wishes to you and with whatever you decide. This church and its doctrine really is true. I know that now, even though I forgot for a while. I can't always promise the path is clear or without sticky obstacles, but I do have faith that later we will see and understand better.

[NeuroTypical]

So, my question: would I be likely to get a good result by putting all that on the table with the bishop when I get there? Or would it just put me on the fellowshipping list? Thanks and I appreciate any and all opinions.

From my experience, Bishops can do the most good if they have access to all the facts. I don't know what a "fellowshipping list" means to you, so I can't really say if you'll end up on one or not. From what I can tell, this church will give and ask only as much as each individual member is willing to take and give. It would help the mormons around you quite a bit, if they knew what exactly that was.

I've served as Executive Seceretary for 2 different Bishops, and been a Ward clerk for 2 others. I've yet to see any of them say something like "Hey, Brother Garcia is struggling - I know! Let's all go ram ourselves down his throat, and suffocate him with cheesy goodwill and plates of cookies until he's active again!"

A journey to discover if God exists, and if the church is what it says it is, is a very important journey, and a very personal one. You do yourself a favor by letting mormons know where you might appreciate their help, and where you'd rather be left alone.

LM

[MrNirom]

The Lord knows what is in your heart.

I am sure he has no problem teaching slowly so you can "get it"

The main thing here is you are trying and moving forward.

One step at a time... with your goal in mind.

Bless you. Your spirit knows the truth. Just Listen.

[SLGarcia]

Just wanted to say thanks to all for the helpful comments. I think I will just put everything on the table with the bishop, and hopefully this will get good results. Thanks again!

[Misshalfway]

Keep us posted, if you feel comfortable doing so. I think a lot of us would love to know how you are doing. :)

[lilered]

I too believe it best to discuss in private your feelings and thoughts with the Bishop. One thing I would also encourage you to do during your R & R is to read the scriptures daily and have daily prayer. These two efforts will help you immensly.