Anger

[kona0197]

Today at work I was angry all night. The thing is I can't figure out what I'm angry at or why I am angry in the first place. Nothing bad has happened to me lately. I asked a friend if the music you listen too can affect your mood. He said yes. I listened to heavy metal on the way to work.

This anger I speak of was so intense I almost could not breathe and almost let go crying. I even thought about quitting.

I did ask heavenly father to take this anger from me. I'm at home now and I feel better.

Thoughts? Is this the evil one controlling me?

[breeb]

It's PMS. My husband gets it all the time.

[kona0197]

Well it is a full moon...

[MikeUpton]

David Burns, psychologist who helped popularize cognitive therapy in his book "Feeling Good" says that anxiety comes from the idea that you "have to", or "should do" something. When you feel others "have to" or "should do" something, it leads to anger. I've found this concept very useful in managing my own moods. Prayer definitely helps too.

[hadl]

Today at work I was angry all night. The thing is I can't figure out what I'm angry at or why I am angry in the first place. Nothing bad has happened to me lately. I asked a friend if the music you listen too can affect your mood. He said yes. I listened to heavy metal on the way to work.

This anger I speak of was so intense I almost could not breathe and almost let go crying. I even thought about quitting.

I did ask heavenly father to take this anger from me. I'm at home now and I feel better.

Thoughts? Is this the evil one controlling me?

Anger can come and go and it does so in diffrent forms....just do not let it control your life. Pray to Heavenly Father when ever you are feeling that way and he will help you to control it and ease your pain.

[NeuroTypical]

There is a source of your anger, you're just having a hard time figuring out what it is. This is not uncommon at all.

Anger management techniques are fine and good, but I'm thinking that finding the source and resolving whatever issue is making you angry will serve you better. Not being in your skin, I can't really tell where it's coming from.

[Misshalfway]

Well, if it is any consolation, I think lots of us deal with anger and even rage. Especially when life hasn't met our expectations or when painful things happen to us or when we feel powerless.

Isn't it crazy how you can just feel so angry and not know why? It could be a lot of things. I suppose the music could be a factor in mood, but the kind of anger you are describing sounds like you have deeper emotions bubbling up.

Over the last year or so, I have been reading a lot about anger and trying to understand it better and I am learning that it is usually a way for our inner self to alert us to injustice or imbalances in our emotions or something painful in our circumstances. The real trick is discovering what those underneath emotions are. It could be emotions from the past......and now your brain is finally dealing with it or it could be something in the present that needs your attention. I like the above comments of Mikeupton about the "shoulds" and "have to's". I think that is really wise. Perhaps the anger comes from feelings of powerlessness. Or maybe it is a giant argument with reality. Or maybe it is a way your brain can feel protected against something that is causing fear. Whatever it is, it is certainly a defensive posture. So, the next question must be why?

Anger has become a really valuable resource for me as I am learning what it is trying to teach me. The more I listen to it and whatever message it is trying to send to me, the easier it is to let it go and move myself to more peaceful and productive headspace. Sometimes I am successful, and I can let the anger go. Sometimes I am just pissy! And I have to hand it to God and hope he takes it from me when I can't let go.

Perhaps you could add an addendum to your prayer and ask HF what your anger is trying to tell you and then even some ideas about new ways to think about things.

Edited July 16, 2008 by Misshalfway

[rameumptom]

Different things in our environment can affect our mood. Music is one of them, as is things that can strengthen or detract from the Spirit in our lives.

Try an experiment over the next few weeks. Try going without the heavy metal for two weeks, substituting it with Mormon Tabernacle Choir/hymns, etc. When a heavy music song enters your head, replace it with a hymn.

After a couple weeks, see how it has affected your overall mood.

You can also try this with other things: the television/movies watched, friends (positive versus negative ones), social environments (bar versus church), and our activities (mosh pits versus hiking in the pristine wilderness). See if changing any of these things can make a difference in your life.

[rameumptom]

Anger and resentment also come in a form that can build up within us, like a kettle that slowly comes to a boil. There's an excellent book I just read called Amish Grace, about the experience in Pennsylvania of the school girls being killed. It discusses the forgiveness given afterward, and how the Amish teach themselves how to forgive, even though it isn't an easy thing to learn.

Forgiveness allows US to heal. Holding onto anger and resentment is like allowing a sore to fester and pus over. After a while, we have to do something about it, or the gangrene will force us to lose a leg or a life. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually, baggage from decades ago that we still carry can cause us to be emotionally putrid with anger. Learning the process to understand our emotions, and how to let Jesus take the pain from us, allowing us to forgive and have peace, is essential to our mortal and spiritual destinies.

[Misshalfway]

"Amish Grace" is that right? That sounds like a book I would like to read. Did they struggle with anger? It is hard for me to picture an angry Amish person, but I am sure they feel it inside. Anyway, I think I will get myself a copy. Thanks Ram.

[Moksha]

Anger is the most primitive of emotions and the strongest. The only constructive use of anger I can imagine, is the increased capacity for destruction it gives you in the heat of battle. Otherwise, anger is hard on you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

How to discharge your anger? There has been much thought to answering this question for a very long time. Two approaches seem good to me:

1. Dramatic Catharsis - From the ancient Greeks, who thought by witnessing the reenactment of a tragedy, that the emotions involved could be brought to the surface and the destructive energy discharged. In a modern setting, I would recommend playing a computer game like Unreal 3, to release some pent up emotions.

2. Analyzing the Root Cause - Look at those problems that make up the story of why you feel angry. Look at what it does for you. What is the pay off? What is it like with the anger. Looking at the turn around, where would you be without it? When you are trapped in a situation where you are feeling anger constantly, you are not seeing the full reality of the situation. I would recommend going out and buying Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is. Use its game plan to map out a new strategy.

Byron Katie International, Inc. Shopping Cart

Best wishes on a good turn around.

Edited July 16, 2008 by Moksha

[MorningStar]

Do you keep a journal? Maybe you could write down a simple log of things you did during the day and see if you notice a pattern. There was a show I used to watch and I realized it was putting me in a bad mood. Music can do that too. I know that the right music can make me feel happier.

[StrawberryFields]

Could you be suffering from panic attacks?

I like the idea of the books mentioned and looking to see what the underlining sorce could be.

[Misshalfway]

Anger is the most primitive of emotions and the strongest. The only constructive use of anger I can imagine, is the increased capacity for destruction it gives you in the heat of battle. Otherwise, anger is hard on you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

How to discharge your anger? There has been much thought to answering this question for a very long time. Two approaches seem good to me:

1. Dramatic Catharsis - From the ancient Greeks, who thought by witnessing the reenactment of a tragedy, that the emotions involved could be brought to the surface and the destructive energy discharged. In a modern setting, I would recommend playing a computer game like Unreal 3, to release some pent up emotions.

2. Analyzing the Root Cause - Look at those problems that make up the story of why you feel angry. Look at what it does for you. What is the pay off? What is it like with the anger. Looking at the turn around, where would you be without it? When you are trapped in a situation where you are feeling anger constantly, you are not seeing the full reality of the situation. I would recommend going out and buying Byron Katie's book, Loving What Is. Use its game plan to map out a new strategy.

Byron Katie International, Inc. Shopping Cart

Best wishes on a good turn around.

Love Byron Katie!!!

[Tough Grits]

Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

YODA, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

My son (5) is really into Star Wars right now...he has been playing Star Wars Legos on PS2.

Anyway, he has wanted to watch all the episodes...in order. So, I have Star Wars on the brain!!!

Edited July 16, 2008 by Tough Grits

[Islander]

Moshka, that was deep. My insights into anger do not reach such analytical levels, but, you probably know what you are talking about.

I heard my grandma say many times that anger "is not an emotion but a reaction." Meaning, something happened that actually causes pain but we react in anger. Not need be so but we "learn" to respond angrily because, like Moshka said, it provides a lot of energy (be it destructive) and the drive to take action and do...stuff, retaliate, defend ourselves, attack in revenge, protest, whatever.

I suggest that developing some insight into what transpired would probably go a long way to resolve the anger issue. And I am not referring to the memory of the event, but to what "actually" happened that very likely caused pain but lthe earned response was anger. Acknowledging such and attempting to cope or resolve the painful event often tends to decrease our need for an angry response.

Just my two cents but I could be wrong, of course.

[kona0197]

Upon arriving at work today I prayed and asked HF to take the anger away. I had a stress free day. Praise the Lord.

I seem to be dizzy all the time. It sucks. I need to find out why that happens.

[NateHowe]

If you do not consciously control yourself, something or someone else will. I am not implying demonic possession here; the forces that control us are subtle. If we do not actively question the media we consume, the ideas and attitudes that come along with them will become a part of us. If we do not actively choose those with whom we spend our free time, their habits and ideas will affect ours. Anger can function as a disease in itself or as a symptom of something else amiss in our lives. Nobody is completely immune - we just keep trying.

[Truegrits]

~~~kona0197~~~

I seem to be dizzy all the time.

That does not sound good. Have you seen a Dr. recently...had a check-up? If not, it would be a good thing to do.

[rameumptom]

"Amish Grace" is that right? That sounds like a book I would like to read. Did they struggle with anger? It is hard for me to picture an angry Amish person, but I am sure they feel it inside. Anyway, I think I will get myself a copy. Thanks Ram.

Like everyone, they deal with anger. They have found it was easier to forgive someone outside their group than someone inside that they continually deal with.

They also found that forgiveness became easier when they included actions in their forgiveness: going to the murderer's funeral and comforting the family, sharing the funds coming in with the family, inviting them into their home for dinner, etc.

[kona0197]

~~~kona0197~~~

That does not sound good. Have you seen a Dr. recently...had a check-up? If not, it would be a good thing to do.

I have no health insurance nor any money to see a doctor. No free clinics around here either.

[Misshalfway]

How is your stress level? You could try meditation or just slowing your thoughts as you go thru the day. And then just make sure you are getting your vitamins in the food you choose. Drink water. Get sleep. Laugh. Go for walks. Visit old people. Laugh.

[Moksha]

Love Byron Katie!!!

A person could spend a load of money on therapy and not get as good of help as her book Loving What Is has to provide. I don't know if they ever have book reviews for Relief Society Enrichment, but this would be of tremendous benefit to all. Wish they could do this on the 5th Sunday joint Priesthood-Relief Society sometime.

[Misshalfway]

A person could spend a load of money on therapy and not get as good of help as her book Loving What Is has to provide. I don't know if they ever have book reviews for Relief Society Enrichment, but this would be of tremendous benefit to all. Wish they could do this on the 5th Sunday joint Priesthood-Relief Society sometime.

I so agree. She is like a yummy warm blanket. I love her stuff. It is so liberating. And I love her story too. The whole lying on the floor of the half-way house and then not speaking really for a year. Love it.

[MikeUpton]

I so agree. She is like a yummy warm blanket. I love her stuff. It is so liberating. And I love her story too. The whole lying on the floor of the half-way house and then not speaking really for a year. Love it.

ok I'm gonna buy it! I like yummy warm blankets!