Why can't he say I love you when he's trunky.

[Misshalfway]

Amen Wing.

[ruthiechan]

Frankly, she should go out and date other people.

That was uncalled for.

This girl loves him, but right now doubt and paranoia are creeping into her. What if they ARE supposed to get married sometime after his mission and Satan is trying to put a wedge between them?

She has waited sixteen months. That means she loves him enough to wait for him and does not want to date other guys. She wants her missionary.

She simply needs to be trained on how to write appropriate letters and how not to let her anxieties rules what she writes. If anything she needs to write a letter apologizing for her behavior. Maybe even mentioning that she believes that Satan is fueling doubt and paranoia to make life harder for both of them and she refuses to be privy to that. Then she can continue on about some wonderful talks at church or scripture passages and afterwards sign it Love, so and so. No I love yous or I miss yous.

That would uplift him and he would respect her more.

[Misshalfway]

My point was that I don't know what the heck this missionary is thinking and I think it is less effective to try to read his mind or ask all of us to read his mind.

I think everyone is right. She does need to learn a thing or two about how to right a letter to a missionary....but maybe more importantly she needs to realize that he needs to lock his heart to be a good missionary. She wants her missionary? Well, that is understandable but not possible and it is wrong for her to think she has any claim on his affections right now. She doesn't get to know his mind or heart. The Lord has possession of those two things right now. She wants reassurance. Well what girl wouldn't? But she is too focused on him in unhealthy ways and it WILL backfire on her. She needs help getting herself worrying about other things.....like HER life and maybe even dating a bit. I think this might be why the brethren advise that missionaries should go into the field unattached. All this poor girl amounts to is an unnecessary distraction.....something that is bad for her as well because she misses the opportunities sitting right in front of her. Just time for this girl to learn some life lessons, that's all.

[Palerider]

I don't think a young woman should go into cold storage because a guy goes on a mission.....during 2 yrs there will be alot of growing up that goes on. Nothing wrong with waiting and dating while he is gone.

[Misshalfway]

I agree, Pale. The time for determining their love for each other is NOT now. The "now" is for self discovery and preparation.

To the OP.....tell this dear girl to get back to her preparations and be patient. All good things will come at the right time.

[talisyn]

Am I the only one who didn't know what 'trunky' means?

[Misshalfway]

Trunky means that the missionary is so focused on going home that they are counting the days until they can leave the mission and failing to completely immerse themselves in the work. It is a sad condition for any missionary and the hope is that they will tame that temptation and throw themselves into the work until the last moment they can wear the badge.

[Guest ceeboo]

Am I the only one who didn't know what 'trunky' means?

No my friend talisyn, you are not alone.

I thought ( was wrong I guess ) that " trunky " was an elephant with an attitude!!!

[Misshalfway]

No my friend talisyn, you are not alone.

I thought ( was wrong I guess ) that " trunky " was an elephant with an attitude!!!

Nope. Trunky is a whiney missionary who just wants his mamma!

[Guest ceeboo]

Nope. Trunky is a whiney missionary who just wants his mamma!

UHHHH OOOOO!!!!!

I think I might be trunky :(

[FunkyTown]

UHHHH OOOOO!!!!!

I think I might be trunky :(

No, Ceeboo. You're spunky, clunky and a little bit junky but NEVER trunky.

[Guest ceeboo]

No, Ceeboo. You're spunky, clunky and a little bit junky but NEVER trunky.

I can't seem to locate the " LOL " button on this thread

:lol::lol:

[Connie]

I waited for my missionary (in the loosest sense of the word because i did do a little bit of dating), and we got married 2 months after his return. Every case is individual but i will tell you the counsel i received directly from the Lord in my patriarchal blessing concerning my case.

"... if your future companion should be called to serve a mission during your courtship, support him fully while he is on his mission and in his absence improve your knowledge of the gospel and strengthen your testimony, become familiar with the scriptures, that upon his return you and he can converse and communicate on his level, knowing that the gospel is true and seeing your faithfulness he will want you as his constant and eternal companion."

Hope this helps a bit.

[Just_A_Guy]

She's upset because he doesn't tell her he loves her in every single letter?

Obviously there's a lot here that I don't know, but if forced to make a snap judgment I'd say she's overly needy. That won't necessarily just go away when he comes home--and while it's fun to play "knight in shining armor" to a "damsel in distress" for a little while, it gets old pretty fast.

When your son gets home, I think he needs to engage in lengthy and prayerful deliberations before proposing to this girl. He may be setting himself up for a very unhappy marriage.

[Wingnut]

I don't think a young woman should go into cold storage because a guy goes on a mission.....during 2 yrs there will be alot of growing up that goes on. Nothing wrong with waiting and dating while he is gone.

When I was in Young Women, I remember hearing a talk that was focused on getting us to not date exclusively while we were still teenagers. The analogy went something like this:

You love ice cream. Chocolate is your favorite flavor. Chocolate is the only flavor you ever eat. So how do you know that chocolate is your favorite? You really don't until you try some other flavors.

Through my own experience later in life, I also learned that the opposite is true: you don't know that sometimes chocolate isn't your favorite flavor until you've tried others.

No, Ceeboo. You're spunky, clunky and a little bit junky but NEVER trunky.

Ceeboo's got junk in his trunk????

She's upset because he doesn't tell her he loves her in every single letter?

Obviously there's a lot here that I don't know, but if forced to make a snap judgment I'd say she's overly needy. That won't necessarily just go away when he comes home--and while it's fun to play "knight in shining armor" to a "damsel in distress" for a little while, it gets old pretty fast.

When your son gets home, I think he needs to engage in lengthy and prayerful deliberations before proposing to this girl. He may be setting himself up for a very unhappy marriage.

AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!

[Palerider]

I need that laugh button.....too many threads making me crack up laughing.......

My wife and I wrote to each other the last year I was on my mission. Prior to this we had met at a church dance and only seen each other one time. We wrote and met up after I got home. We were engaged 3 weeks later and were married 4 months after my being home. This wonderful lady has put up with me for 27yrs....she should get a purple heart.....

[BenRaines]

More like a Medal of Valor. To put up with Pale all those years.

I do appreciate though that Pale has not joined in with all the others in beating me up in the "How old is Ben Raines" thread. LOL

Ben Raines

[Palerider]

More like a Medal of Valor. To put up with Pale all those years.

I do appreciate though that Pale has not joined in with all the others in beating me up in the "How old is Ben Raines" thread. LOL

Ben Raines

I just looked at the author of it....she was around when they still used brass plates to write on....:)

[Book_of_Mormon_Warrior]

Pale, True. Missionaries are told to "Lock your heart" when going out to serve. It is two years.

Ben Raines

"Lock their hearts" like the early married LDS Elders did?

[Wingnut]

I do appreciate though that Pale has not joined in with all the others in beating me up in the "How old is Ben Raines" thread.

I just looked at the author of it....she was around when they still used brass plates to write on....:)

BenRaines is so old he hammered out the first brass plates. :)

[Palerider]

BenRaines is so old he hammered out the first brass plates. :)

pammie is so old.....she made the brass plates.....:)

[akindheart]

Hey

just want to thank everyone for taking the time to post some very insightful comments - oh and also for the humor as well .

Thanks everybody

[Palerider]

you are welcome

[Dove]

I know I'm coming in on this thread late....and that what's been said has been said....so take what I say with a grain of salt.

Yes, I agree mostly with what is being said about this girl, other than, let's go gently and not too hard on her in the sense that we don't know that much about her and we don't want to judge too quickly or harshly a person we don't know.....

I would suggest to akindheart, that she read The Rules, a book that talks about how woman should be independant and involved enough in making their own lives work that men actually have to do the chasing rather than vice versa, and how men actually prefer to give chase rather than be chased.....It seems befitting here.

Otherwise, this young woman seems deserving of our compassion, even if she is not acting the wisest in this case. She has waited a long time and may be getting "trunky" herself for "her" missionary to return. Maybe you can write her a gentle letter, akindheart, helping her see the difficult position she's putting your son in by doing what she's doing in this. Maybe you already have?

Anyway, yes, what is being written is correct about her, just a kinder take on it is being asked for....

Dove