True Happiness

[Wingnut]

I'm sitting here listening to Elder Uchtdorf's talk, while catching up on threads (I'm been out of town for a week). I just finished reading yet another thread on fat people, and why they apparently suck. Someone mentioned that fat women shouldn't just be content, but that they could be happy all the time.

I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm overweight. I'm not fat. I'm heavier than "ideal" but I am not disgusting.

I'm not content with my weight, but I am very happy in life.

As I closed the window, I heard Elder Uchtdorf say "the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings true happiness." The timing was perfect.

Why can't a person be fat and still be happy? Why are those mutually exclusive? Any number of descriptives could replace the word "fat" in that sentence.

What makes YOU happy? Is it looking in the mirror every day and saying "Dang, I look gooooood!"? Is it having a great house? Is it your family? Is it the Gospel?

If it's the mirror option, good for you. But I would suggest that perhaps your priorities are out of line. If it's a house, I wonder why. Is it because you are able to shelter and provide for your family, and able to serve others as your needs are met? Or is it just because it's bigger than the neighbor's house?

I am happy because I have a good life. I have an absolutely wonderful and amazing husband who treats me like a daughter of God. When he finds fault with me, he helps me to correct my behaviors in a way that will be beneficial to us both. I have a beautiful daughter who teaches me everyday about unconditional love. I have the Gospel in my life, and a knowledge of eternal families and eternal life. I have a best friend who is truly a blessing in my life. I laugh, I love, I learn. All these things make me happy.

To those who think that fat people aren't or can't be happy, I say this to you: we have had enough. Get off our backs.

[pam]

Happiness comes from an attitude. While there are many who would claim that being overweight is the sole reason for their unhappiness...I say hogwash.

True happiness comes from the gospel. Comes from being able to accept who you are and that no matter the imperfections of the body...we are still brothers and sisters in the gospel and brothers and sisters to Christ. That's where the happiness comes from.

To those that think otherwise of their brothers and sisters with this imperfection...perhaps a lesson in the unconditional love as shown by Jesus Christ would be a good lesson to learn.

[Dravin]

I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm overweight. I'm not fat. I'm heavier than "ideal" but I am not disgusting.

I agree that one can be fat, skiny, ugly, beautiful, eloquent, a lingual bumbler or any other number of things and be happy.

Edited April 5, 2009 by Dravin
Pruned some stupidity.

[siouxz72]

I am happy because I have a good life. I have an absolutely wonderful and amazing husband who treats me like a daughter of God. When he finds fault with me, he helps me to correct my behaviors in a way that will be beneficial to us both. I have a beautiful daughter who teaches me everyday about unconditional love. I have the Gospel in my life, and a knowledge of eternal families and eternal life. I have a best friend who is truly a blessing in my life. I laugh, I love, I learn. All these things make me happy.

I love this! Thank you for reminding me of some of the things that make me happy... You're wonderful wingers!

[Maxel]

If it's the mirror option, good for you. But I would suggest that perhaps your priorities are out of line. If it's a house, I wonder why. Is it because you are able to shelter and provide for your family, and able to serve others as your needs are met? Or is it just because it's bigger than the neighbor's house?

You reminded me of a quote from the esteemed C.S. Lewis:

"Pride gets no pleasure out of having something- only by having more of it than the next man." The Gospel of Christ, on the other hand, gives pleasure simply by being possessed: whether person A has 'more' of that Gospel than person B is irrelevant and unimportant. I guess it's the difference between division and unification.

[Newcomer4831]

I'm sitting here listening to Elder Uchtdorf's talk, while catching up on threads (I'm been out of town for a week). I just finished reading yet another thread on fat people, and why they apparently suck. Someone mentioned that fat women shouldn't just be content, but that they could be happy all the time.

I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm overweight. I'm not fat. I'm heavier than "ideal" but I am not disgusting.

I'm not content with my weight, but I am very happy in life.

As I closed the window, I heard Elder Uchtdorf say "the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings true happiness." The timing was perfect.

Why can't a person be fat and still be happy? Why are those mutually exclusive? Any number of descriptives could replace the word "fat" in that sentence.

What makes YOU happy? Is it looking in the mirror every day and saying "Dang, I look gooooood!"? Is it having a great house? Is it your family? Is it the Gospel?

If it's the mirror option, good for you. But I would suggest that perhaps your priorities are out of line. If it's a house, I wonder why. Is it because you are able to shelter and provide for your family, and able to serve others as your needs are met? Or is it just because it's bigger than the neighbor's house?

I am happy because I have a good life. I have an absolutely wonderful and amazing husband who treats me like a daughter of God. When he finds fault with me, he helps me to correct my behaviors in a way that will be beneficial to us both. I have a beautiful daughter who teaches me everyday about unconditional love. I have the Gospel in my life, and a knowledge of eternal families and eternal life. I have a best friend who is truly a blessing in my life. I laugh, I love, I learn. All these things make me happy.

To those who think that fat people aren't or can't be happy, I say this to you: we have had enough. Get off our backs.

As a mormon, this bothers you?

[pam]

As a mormon, this bothers you?

What kind of question is that?

[Newcomer4831]

What kind of question is that?

One that ends in a question mark?

[Tarnished]

As a mormon, this bothers you?

No, I think Wingnut is saying that as an overweight person this bothers her.

[Newcomer4831]

No, I think Wingnut is saying that as an overweight person this bothers her.

I'm saying that this shouldn't bother her. She's not unhealthy, she's not sick, being other weight doesn't hinder anything she wants to do, she's not being discriminated agianst (in a segregation context) so in the end this shouldn't bother her. She shouldn't bother in the ignorance of others. Other's dukkha shouldn't be her dukkha.

[beefche]

As a mormon, this bothers you?

Can you explain this question? I don't understand it. What does being a Mormon have to do with the issue of being fat and happy?

[Tarnished]

Other's dukkha shouldn't be her dukkha.

Dukkha being understood as "suffering"? I am not completely familiar with the word and want to make sure I understand how you are using it.

[Traveler]

I do not enter this post to offend anyone – only to state some observations and what I believe to be true.

1. As someone that has traveled somewhat outside of the USA – I can spot most citizens of the USA because they are overweight. Not a little but quite a bit.

2. A person’s body is a temple of G-d. We all have an obligation to take care of this great gift from G-d. Proper care of a physical temple (body) adds (does not take away) from the spirit.

3. There is a basis of 3 things that should be observed to maintain a fit and well maintained physical body and temple. (1) Sufficient rest. (2) Eating of healthy and nutritious foods. (3) Adequate exercise. (I would note that with so many modern conveniences that unless we go out of our way to do so we will not get enough exercise and will likely neglect our body as a temple).

4. Like so many things in life – to be healthy is not different from many other things. It requires commitment and discipline.

There are things we all can do to improve. I am not trying to point at anyone but I am quite sure that if anyone is overweight and they do not plan to do anything about it that their overweight will only become worse and that at some point it will affect their spirituality. I believe that just like the spirit needs constant nourishment so does the physical – to neglect covenant by sporadic commitments is not the best or happy way to live.

If someone was to see me they would realize that I am not concerned about how I look but I do find great joy in being able to get on my bicycle and ride 100 miles without killing myself and I commuted to work on a bicycle (25 miles one way) for over 40 years. But you know what – I hate running.

The Traveler

[Hemidakota]

Hmm...have you met President Monson in person lately?

[Newcomer4831]

Dukkha being understood as "suffering"? I am not completely familiar with the word and want to make sure I understand how you are using it.

I used Dukkha because it doesn't only incorporate the idea of suffering but also discontent and over all unhappiness. It has close ties to ignorance. So I'm saying that don't let other people's ignorance make you unhappy, because they themselves are unhappy, which is perhaps why they are ignorant in the first place. Scapegoating.

[Newcomer4831]

Can you explain this question? I don't understand it. What does being a Mormon have to do with the issue of being fat and happy?

I say this because I hear some Mormons say that my beliefs are not "complete" because of the absence of God and Jesus Christ. However, in this case, my beliefs are complete. In Buddhism, you learn so much about the ignorance of people and how to deflect it. I've written this story before.

In Buddhism, it's required that people who join the Order [sangha] must beg for food. People are not obligated to give them alms, but they do so just as some one donates in the collection plate.

In a village where the Buddha was collecting his alms, a row of people gathered as to put food in the begging bowl of the wandering monks. However one man entered the line not to give alms.

When the Buddha reached the man, the man verbally abused the Buddha scolding, "I hear you are wise. What's a wise man doing begging for table scraps? If you are wise, you would get a job like the rest of us instead of free loading. Why don't you say something wise unless you are indeed a fool?"

The Buddha asked "If you present a gift to someone who refuses to accept your gift; to whom does the gift belong to?"

The man replied, "To him who gifted the present. Why?"

The Buddha cunningly responded, "Then I refuse your gift of abuse, for now you shall receive it back." He got many dirty looks from the villagers immediately afterwards.

There is a saying about ignorance (specifically revenge), ignorance is like a hot coal you are about to chuck at someone. You also get burned in the process. The Buddha taught so much about keeping your mind on your own faults, not the faults of others.

A friend was telling me about this girl who he said was "unattractive, yet luring" at the same time. He asked me if going out with her would tarnish his record of only being with attractive women, or that his friends will make fun of him for being with her. I told him that when people see you with her, they don't see you and an unattractive girl, all they see is that you are happy and that they are happy, and if you are happy enough, people will resent you for being happy instead of resenting you for being with an unattractive girl.

Just be happy.

[Wingnut]

As a mormon, this bothers you?

No, I think Wingnut is saying that as an overweight person this bothers her.

This bothers me neither because I am Mormon nor because I am overweight. I am bothered by the idea that anyone would tell another person that they can't be completely happy without being thin. It's preposterous, offensive, and self-righteous.

I do not enter this post to offend anyone – only to state some observations and what I believe to be true.

Your post didn't offend me. It was tactfully written and addressed health issues. Both of those elements generally seem to be lacking in fat threads on this board.

[Guest]

I'm so sick of hearing that. I'm overweight. I'm not fat. I'm heavier than "ideal" but I am not disgusting.

I'm not content with my weight, but I am very happy in life.

As I closed the window, I heard Elder Uchtdorf say "the Gospel of Jesus Christ brings true happiness." The timing was perfect.

Why can't a person be fat and still be happy? Why are those mutually exclusive? Any number of descriptives could replace the word "fat" in that sentence.

To those who think that fat people aren't or can't be happy, I say this to you: we have had enough. Get off our backs.

I've read several threads here too that mentioned something about weight. I might have been reading something different into them because I did not see there where somebody said that being fat and being happy is mutually exclusive?

The word Happy like Love is sometimes used to mean a gazillion shades - like I can say, I have found true happiness and on the next sentence say, "I am just not happy with the way my job is going".

I have to say though, that it might not affect YOUR happiness, but there are other people who deem unhealthy weight as contributing to their unhappiness. Me, for instance, I am 40 pounds overweight and I can tell you I am not happy about it. My knee joints are experiencing sporadic pain, I have backaches, I have high cholesterol. I have to do something about it because I can't be happy about my fatness. I don't think other people who are overweight are disgusting though. It takes more than weight to make a person disgusting. Although, sometimes I question the psychology of somebody who doesn't care to be healthy.

But, that doesn't mean I am not happy overall. My life overall is awesome. I just have some facets in my life that needs improvement. My weight, my temper, my mastery of the scriptures, the big stain on my couch... it's not something I plan to just "be content with". I plan to do something about it to improve on my life. I don't see the purpose of staying away from coffee if I'm just going to stuff myself with donuts and honeybuns all day long.

But that's me. You are competely different from me, so whatever floats your boat is what you should do and don't let other people's challenges bother you because they can only express what makes them happy in their own lives. I'm sure if I would get to know you, I would like you immensely, extra pounds and everything.

[pam]

Anatess I would agree with what you said. Being unhappy about being overweight is one thing. But that again doesn't mean you aren't happy overall. We all have things about ourselves that we are unhappy with.

But I also have to agree with wingnut. There have been many threads (most from one poster) that tends to think that overweight people are disgusting and lacking in any redeeming qualities. THAT is what wingnut is referring to. (Forgive me wingers if I am mistaken in your intent).

[Wingnut]

I've read several threads here too that mentioned something about weight. I might have been reading something different into them because I did not see there where somebody said that being fat and being happy is mutually exclusive?

THAT is what wingnut is referring to. (Forgive me wingers if I am mistaken in your intent).

I was (this time) specifically referring to this thread (which actually, never had an appearance by "that person"), and in particular to this post, where someone writes "Come on girls, you may be content. Why not be happy all the time?"

What I want to know is why can't I be happy all the time without and exercise-induced release of endorphins? Why is that such a difficult concept for some people to grasp? I AM HAPPY!

[Truegrits]

What I want to know is why can't I be happy all the time without and exercise-induced release of endorphins? Why is that such a difficult concept for some people to grasp? I AM HAPPY!

I agree.

As long as I am happy/content/fulfilled, it does not bother me what another feels about me. That is their problem, not mine. I refuse to let another's perception/opinion dictate how I look...or act. Yes, I am slightly "out of the box" according to how those around me look/dress/act...but I am happy with myself, and as long as I like me, then the rest can take me as I am...or not!

[Guest missingsomething]

As a mormon, this bothers you?

as a PERSON.. a HUMAN.. this bothers me! And honestly - it SHOULD bother you...everyone.

Its like saying people with dark hair cant have fun... or blonde people are stupid... or tall people cant be graceful... or even attacking a religion.

I would say to those who look at others that are not "ideal" in YOUR OPINION... I'm absolutely gonna LOVE listening to you try to explain yourself on judgement day - but I didnt MEAN to call them FAT... if they had only LOVED you more they would have eatten carrots instead of fries....

[Wingnut]

I would say to those who look at others that are not "ideal" in YOUR OPINION... I'm absolutely gonna LOVE listening to you try to explain yourself on judgement day - but I didnt MEAN to call them FAT... if they had only LOVED you more they would have eatten carrots instead of fries....

The whole post deserved a thanks, but this paragraph made me laugh. :) Thanks.

[Guest missingsomething]

I do not enter this post to offend anyone – only to state some observations and what I believe to be true.

1. As someone that has traveled somewhat outside of the USA – I can spot most citizens of the USA because they are overweight. Not a little but quite a bit.

2. A person’s body is a temple of G-d. We all have an obligation to take care of this great gift from G-d. Proper care of a physical temple (body) adds (does not take away) from the spirit.

3. There is a basis of 3 things that should be observed to maintain a fit and well maintained physical body and temple. (1) Sufficient rest. (2) Eating of healthy and nutritious foods. (3) Adequate exercise. (I would note that with so many modern conveniences that unless we go out of our way to do so we will not get enough exercise and will likely neglect our body as a temple).

4. Like so many things in life – to be healthy is not different from many other things. It requires commitment and discipline.

There are things we all can do to improve. I am not trying to point at anyone but I am quite sure that if anyone is overweight and they do not plan to do anything about it that their overweight will only become worse and that at some point it will affect their spirituality. I believe that just like the spirit needs constant nourishment so does the physical – to neglect covenant by sporadic commitments is not the best or happy way to live.

If someone was to see me they would realize that I am not concerned about how I look but I do find great joy in being able to get on my bicycle and ride 100 miles without killing myself and I commuted to work on a bicycle (25 miles one way) for over 40 years. But you know what – I hate running.

The Traveler

Again... not to Offend...

but you are misinformed. I am 30 lbs overweight. I gained this weight after bearing two children (which I believe is more important to my eternal happiness than maintaining an "ideal weight".) I exercise in a gym 3-4 days a week for 45 min - 90 min each time depending on the day. I do not gorge myself but yes OCCASSIONALLY I run thru a drive through... I drink plenty of water. I get the best rest possible with two very small children. Yet - my body maintains my weight. I contacted a physican who ran test and found out.. (even though I knew this... from looking at every one of my ancestors) that my metobolism only functions at a 30% ratio. All efforts through physicans and dieticians have failed as I only got up to a 32% functionality.

So to say....

IF YOU are overweight.... you MUST be over-eating... you MUST be abusing your body... you MUST be less-active (as in exercise not faith)... and that if you are overweight you will eventually become spiritually inferior to thinner people is just...... is well, WRONG. DEAD SET WRONG! Your MISLED, FALSE remarks would say to YOU and others - I do not honor my body and I Do not do the best I can to stay healthy...and for that, you would be wrong and in my personal opinion is something that would need an act of repentence to be overcome. I know that sounds really harsh but FINALLY - I was validated this conference when we were warned NOT to judge others but to persuade others by our faith and actions. But traveler, I love ya and I would just like you to know that you can NOT possibly see the road a person has travelled, or what they have overcome...by how much they weigh on the outside.

Feel grateful and THANKFUL that you are BLESSED to be able to have a body that responds to these things - and stop assuming everyone has this luxury.

I am assuming you must not be aware of this... or perhaps you think this is an exception - but in truth it isnt... And what do you say to the people that are working 2-3 jobs to pay the bills - living within their means and still finds they can feed their family IF they purchase food from the middle of a grocery store (also known as the junk food isles) than the perimeters where there is fresh, healthy food (that by the way cost 2x more!).

Are there things that people can do better? YEP. But those without bad habbits/lack of adherance to all the gospel principles... go ahead an cast a judgement (or stone).

WOW Wignut.. you got me ALL fired up! lol

Edited April 6, 2009 by missingsomething

[Dravin]

Yet - my body maintains my weight. I contacted a physican who ran test and found out.. (even though I knew this... from looking at every one of my ancestors) that my metobolism only functions at a 30% ratio. All efforts through physicans and dieticians have failed as I only got up to a 32% functionality.

That's always the tricky part, if you are burning so few calories to intake less means you don't get proper nutrition you are kinda screwed from a weight loss perspective. Pellagra or a belly, I know which I would pick.