any advice? will i ever been forgiven?

[dgiselle87]

Hello!

i will thnk u ikf u had any advice on this.

almost all my life i´ve been active in church, except when i went to live for a year to USA (im from mexico) and now im not really active because i wasnt living according to the gospel, i really want to change my life because I feel awkward,. i have a couple of questions, im in a relationship with a boy, he is not a LDS, But he became intrerested in the last weeks, we had broken the law of chastity but im really repented, i dont know where to start im suppose to confess but i dont know if I should go to the branch president, we dont have a stake so no bishop, or should i confess to the mission president? am i going to be able to marry in the temple with this boy one day?

Will he ask me very personal questions, like going in detail? im really embarrassed , im not sure if i can do it, .. so please help, i dont want my parents to know this,my dad is the president's first counselor i dont want him to know!

also, is there a posibility i will face excommunion? please answer these questions they really important for me

i truly want to be the person I was before all this happened, i was the laurels teacher , and I feel I dissapointed my family,..

sometimes my moms asks me why I dont go to the temple anymore,,, and i get really sad..

[lestertheemt]

Go to your Branch President.

As far as letting your parents know............IMO you really should. Also you need to stop living with your boyfriend.

And remember "repentance is the first emotion we feel when drawn to our Father in Heaven"

[Misshalfway]

Yes! You can absolutely become forgiven and clean as so many before you. It all depends on what you do now. Go and talk to your priesthood authority. Tell the truth and submit yourself to whatever course is recommended. And I agree with Les.....you need to stop hanging out with this guy who got you into trouble in the first place.

[Italics]

Hello!

i will thnk u ikf u had any advice on this.

almost all my life i´ve been active in church, except when i went to live for a year to USA (im from mexico) and now im not really active because i wasnt living according to the gospel, i really want to change my life because I feel awkward,. i have a couple of questions, im in a relationship with a boy, he is not a LDS, But he became intrerested in the last weeks, we had broken the law of chastity but im really repented, i dont know where to start im suppose to confess but i dont know if I should go to the branch president, we dont have a stake so no bishop, or should i confess to the mission president? am i going to be able to marry in the temple with this boy one day?

Will he ask me very personal questions, like going in detail? im really embarrassed , im not sure if i can do it, .. so please help, i dont want my parents to know this,my dad is the president's first counselor i dont want him to know!

also, is there a posibility i will face excommunion? please answer these questions they really important for me

i truly want to be the person I was before all this happened, i was the laurels teacher , and I feel I dissapointed my family,..

sometimes my moms asks me why I dont go to the temple anymore,,, and i get really sad..

If you've "really" repented of your sins... why confess them?

The bishop/branch president is not there to forgive you. He has no POWER to forgive you. He is there to help you go through the steps of repentance if you are struggling and need help. Repentance itself is between YOU and GOD.

If you sincerely feel bad for what you did, confessed it to God, asked for forgiveness, haven't repeated that mistake, don't plan on repeating that mistake again, and feel that you have been forgiven, guess what? You are forgiven!

The problem is that 99% of the time this is not the case for people who do such things. This is why we are told to go see our bishop... not because it is NECESSARY for forgiveness, but because 99% of the time it is needed to help us successfully and properly repent.

If you couldn't answer "yes" to all of those questions I listed, then yes, you should definitely see your Bishop/Branch President.

Edited May 20, 2009 by Italics

[Vort]

If you've "really" repented of your sins... why confess them? ... If you sincerely feel bad for what you did, confessed it to God, asked for forgiveness, haven't repeated that mistake, don't plan on repeating that mistake again, and feel that you have been forgiven, guess what? You are forgiven!

This is false. Please ignore Italics in this thing.

Your membership in the kingdom of God is threatened by this sin. Thus, in order to repent, you must confess this sin to your branch president or mission president and let him determine what, if any, action is to be taken.

For general sins that do not specifically threaten your membership in the kingdom (Church), Italics' words are correct; you don't have to see a bishop/branch president/stake president/mission president to repent. But for sex sin, you must talk to such an authority. Please do so as soon as you possibly can, so you can continue this process and regain your previous whole state.

[Italics]

This is false. Please ignore Italics in this thing.

Your membership in the kingdom of God is threatened by this sin. Thus, in order to repent, you must confess this sin to your branch president or mission president and let him determine what, if any, action is to be taken.

For general sins that do not specifically threaten your membership in the kingdom (Church), Italics' words are correct; you don't have to see a bishop/branch president/stake president/mission president to repent. But for sex sin, you must talk to such an authority. Please do so as soon as you possibly can, so you can continue this process and regain your previous whole state.

Making out is breaking the law of chastity. Did you know that? Should I see my bishop for doing so?

Perhaps this depends on the degree in which this person broke the law of chastity. Perhaps it doesn't.

Sometimes people will commit such a sin and go years active in the church before they confess to the Bishop (if they ever do). Some of these Bishop's tell them that they have already been forgiven and have done everything they ought to if they have been living faithfully and keeping the commandments... some do not.

This seems more to me like personal opinion than set in stone church doctrine.

My friend, if this person has done all of the things that I have listed, and has felt the spirit confirm to her that she has been forgiven (not saying this is the case), are you saying she still needs to go tell somebody what she did to be forgiven? Are you calling God a liar? Are you saying that Satan is answering her prayers if this is the case?

[ztodd]

Making out is breaking the law of chastity. Did you know that? Should I see my bishop for doing so?

Perhaps this depends on the degree in which this person broke the law of chastity. Perhaps it doesn't.

Sometimes people will commit such a sin and go years active in the church before they confess to the Bishop (if they ever do). Some of these Bishop's tell them that they have already been forgiven and have done everything they ought to if they have been living faithfully and keeping the commandments... some do not.

This seems more to me like personal opinion than set in stone church doctrine.

My friend, if this person has done all of the things that I have listed, and has felt the spirit confirm to her that she has been forgiven (not saying this is the case), are you saying she still needs to go tell somebody what she did to be forgiven? Are you calling God a liar? Are you saying that Satan is answering her prayers if this is the case?

Are you trying to make justification for not confessing? Why would you ask if Vort is calling God a liar? Didn't you put your little disclaimer in there that you weren't saying it was the case that your friend received that answer to his/her prayer? So why do you continue to build upon an unproven premise?

Botom line is - We need to confess to the bishop if we break the law of Chastity. If someone thinks they don't need to, if they think they've already prayed and received forgiveness, they need to keep praying until they get the courage to go tell the bishop. Confession to proper authority is part of repentance.

[Italics]

Bro I said TWICE that I wasn't assuming that that had been the case.

This isn't a debate over this person's individual circumstance anymore, it's a discussion about when it is and isn't necessary to go and spout off all of your sins to the Bishop.

Again... making out is breaking the law of chastity... should I see my bishop if I make out in order to be forgiven?

"Breaking the law of chastity" is pretty generic. What do you mean? Thinking impure thoughts? Viewing porn a few times? Making out? Touching? Intercourse? "The Law of Chastity" is not all that black and white.

A General Authority once gave a talk about a couple who had been married and sealed for decades. Before they had been married, however, they had committed some sins dealing with the Law of Chastity (doesn't say how serious of course). They felt guilty about it even after all those years, and one day the husband told the bishop. The Bishop told them "The Church cannot punish you anymore than you have already punished yourself." In other words, he was making the point that they could have saved themselves from feeling so bad all of those years. He makes a point... but do you suppose that this couple had any special process to go through? Had he never done that, do you suppose they would have lost their eternal marriage?

I am not arguing that people who commit serious sins in which they feel guilty for shouldn't seek for guidance and aid from their Bishop, what i AM saying is that a person who has committed some sin, feels guilty for it, but have long since turned from and forsaken that sin, making all necessary changes in their life, and now have a strong testimony... has no need (unless it is personal) to go and tell their current Priesthood leader about it (unless we're talking, like, murder or adultery here).

If you honestly feel that God would hold them accountable for that sin of the past, or that they would lose their exaltation over it, you have a poor understanding of repentance and the atonement in my opinion. Folks, we have to understand where the power of man ends and the Mercy of God begins.

I am not trying to get all "saved by grace" on everyone, but seriously, let's not view God as some staunch, scary, unmerciful being who requires us to suffer the maximum amount of pain for our sins.

I thank the Lord Himself that I do not have such a fear-struck view of the Him and His forgiveness.

That anyone could think somebody who has truly cleansed their inner vessel and forsaken their sin will still be punished for it is a smack in the face to the Savior if you ask me.

(again, this is with a few special exceptions, such as murder for example)

Remember, the next time that you fail to properly live the law of consecration, you are breaking temple covenants. Are you going to go schedule an appointment with your Bishop about it? Didn't think so

Edited May 20, 2009 by Italics

[ztodd]

When you have a temple recommend interview, you are asked if you keep the law of chastity. I think you probably know what that question means, when you would answer yes and when you would answer no. That's a guideline you can go by if you need one. Basically, if you've had any sexual relation with anyone outside of marriage, you need to confess to your bishop. If there is any question about whether you should or not, then that means you should. Even with "just" making out- if you feel you might need to confesss, then maybe you should go ahead and do it, just to help you have total peace.

I know that not all bishops are the same, but the bishop should not be feared- he's there to help. As a representative of the Lord, he has the calling, and the keys to go with that calling, to be able to show forth the love and mercy of Christ and help with repentance.

[Italics]

When you have a temple recommend interview, you are asked if you keep the law of chastity. I think you probably know what that question means, when you would answer yes and when you would answer no. That's a guideline you can go by if you need one. Basically, if you've had any sexual relation with anyone outside of marriage, you need to confess to your bishop. If there is any question about whether you should or not, then that means you should. Even with "just" making out- if you feel you might need to confesss, then maybe you should go ahead and do it, just to help you have total peace.

I know that not all bishops are the same, but the bishop should not be feared- he's there to help. As a representative of the Lord, he has the calling, and the keys to go with that calling, to be able to show forth the love and mercy of Christ and help with repentance.

Bishops are like the Sabbath.

They were made for us, not us for them.

Yes, it is nice to have the comfort of knowing that your Bishop is called of God and there to help and aid you when you need it.

I am simply saying that someone who has

- Sinned

- Felt guilt

- Sincerely repented

- Forsaken the sin

- Has put it in the past and moved on

- Has a testimony

does NOT need to fear that their place in the Celestial Kingdom is in jeopardy because they never told their bishop. Again, there ARE a couple extreme exceptions, but you know what I am saying.

On my mission I knew some missionaries who had gone certain distances prior to their missions (feeling/oral, drug use - not necessarily both in all situations though), but never had told the Bishop about it... probably in fear of not being able to serve a mission. They had all changed tremendously, repented, and were wonderful missionaries who were serving the Lord 24/7. Tell me... is that not the goal of repentance? If they choose to not come out to the Bishop about what they did after 2 years, do you suppose they will be held filthy in the sight of the Lord? Don't dodge the question.

Edited May 20, 2009 by Italics

[ztodd]

...

They had all changed tremendously, repented, and were wonderful missionaries who were serving the Lord 24/7. Tell me... is that not the goal of repentance? If they choose to not come out to the Bishop about what they did after 2 years, do you suppose they will be held filthy in the sight of the Lord? Don't dodge the question.

Ok. :) I don't know if they would be considered "filthy", but I do think they might be held accountable for not being completely obedient / repentant. I mean, if someone's fully repentant, he/she would do whatever it takes to gain complete forgiveness, including confessing to bishop- right?

Yeah, it's hard, but it's worth it. Being worthy of the highest celestial glory means we have to prove we are willing to go the extra mile.

[FunkyTown]

Hahah. Edited because it was pointed out I was replying to the wrong thread.

Edited May 20, 2009 by FunkyTown

[talisyn]

lol wrong thread, Funkytown.

[lilered]

A condition of repentance is confessing ones sins. The Bishop/Branch President has the keys as a Judge in Israel, therefore when sins of this nature are committed, they are the ones to whom they should be confessed. I agree that the parents should be told and it would be much better if they heard iit from you.

[Hemidakota]

Hello!

i will thnk u ikf u had any advice on this.

almost all my life i´ve been active in church, except when i went to live for a year to USA (im from mexico) and now im not really active because i wasnt living according to the gospel, i really want to change my life because I feel awkward,. i have a couple of questions, im in a relationship with a boy, he is not a LDS, But he became intrerested in the last weeks, we had broken the law of chastity but im really repented, i dont know where to start im suppose to confess but i dont know if I should go to the branch president, we dont have a stake so no bishop, or should i confess to the mission president? am i going to be able to marry in the temple with this boy one day?

Will he ask me very personal questions, like going in detail? im really embarrassed , im not sure if i can do it, .. so please help, i dont want my parents to know this,my dad is the president's first counselor i dont want him to know!

also, is there a posibility i will face excommunion? please answer these questions they really important for me

i truly want to be the person I was before all this happened, i was the laurels teacher , and I feel I dissapointed my family,..

sometimes my moms asks me why I dont go to the temple anymore,,, and i get really sad..

Unless you have murdered or blasphemy against the Holy Ghost. it can be forgiven.

[bytor2112]

You should confess to your Bishop and you shouldn't fear. I promise you that you will feel so much better when you unburden yourself. Your Bishop is their to help you feel the love of Christ as well as help you repent. The Spirit will be their and you will know that you are doing the right thing. Don't despair, all the Lord wants us to do is forsake our sins and come unto him. Remember that true repentance is becoming the kind of person that would never have committed that sin to begin with.

Edited May 20, 2009 by bytor2112

[bytor2112]

I am not arguing that people who commit serious sins in which they feel guilty for shouldn't seek for guidance and aid from their Bishop, what i AM saying is that a person who has committed some sin, feels guilty for it, but have long since turned from and forsaken that sin, making all necessary changes in their life, and now have a strong testimony... has no need (unless it is personal) to go and tell their current Priesthood leader about it (unless we're talking, like, murder or adultery here).

If one feels they have truly repented and the Lord knows it.....the Bishop would certainly confirm that as he has been called to Judge. The OP feels shame and guilt and their is no doubt in my mind that confession would make her feel much better.

[pam]

I have to totally agree with those that have advised to see Branch President/Bishop. Italics I think you know as well as anyone else here the OP wasn't talking about "making out."

Bishops are the judges in Israel. Confessing and visiting with them is part of the step of repentence and forgiveness for serious sins. And yes I feel the OP was talking about more than making out. I agree with Bytor that if a person feels they have been forgiven, the Bishop is there to confirm that feeling.

[pam]

On my mission I knew some missionaries who had gone certain distances prior to their missions (feeling/oral, drug use - not necessarily both in all situations though), but never had told the Bishop about it... probably in fear of not being able to serve a mission. They had all changed tremendously, repented, and were wonderful missionaries who were serving the Lord 24/7. Tell me... is that not the goal of repentance? If they choose to not come out to the Bishop about what they did after 2 years, do you suppose they will be held filthy in the sight of the Lord? Don't dodge the question.

My take on this. While I'm sure it doesn't take away from the good things they did on a mission...I think it's pretty hypocritical to be teaching people all about forgiveness and repentence when they themselves were not honest about their worthiness to serve a mission in the first place.

[bytor2112]

On my mission I knew some missionaries who had gone certain distances prior to their missions (feeling/oral, drug use - not necessarily both in all situations though), but never had told the Bishop about it... probably in fear of not being able to serve a mission. They had all changed tremendously, repented, and were wonderful missionaries who were serving the Lord 24/7. Tell me... is that not the goal of repentance? If they choose to not come out to the Bishop about what they did after 2 years, do you suppose they will be held filthy in the sight of the Lord? Don't dodge the question.

Perhaps they would have been even better missionaries had they practiced what the Lord's church teaches. Sounds to me like they felt the weight of the sin or maybe they wouldn't have felt the need to tell YOU.......confessing our sins eases the pain of a guilty conscience. I have considerable personal experience in this area and I can assure you that confessing your sins....even sins long since abandoned does indeed give you a wonderful sense of peace.

I confessed to countless sins after 21 years of inactivity. To my Bishop and later my Stake President and ultimately my Stake President told me that the Lord had accepted my repentance and if he was wrong he would be accountable for it. Notice he didn't say my sins are forgiven, but I had met the requirements to be in full fellowship of the Lord's church. I can tell you that......it felt great. Embarrassing? Sure. Was I comforted by the Spirit? Immensely. Did my Bishop treat me differently? Nope. In fact my Bishop, wept and told me how proud he was that I decided to come to him. All in all..... a great experience.

[bytor2112]

My take on this. While I'm sure it doesn't take away from the good things they did on a mission...I think it's pretty hypocritical to be teaching people all about forgiveness and repentence when they themselves were not honest about their worthiness to serve a mission in the first place.

Maybe he is referring to himself........

[pam]

Let me post what it says on lds.org which is the "Official" Church website.

Confession. "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Essential to forgiveness is a willingness to disclose fully to our Heavenly Father all that we have done. We must kneel before Him in humble prayer, acknowledging our sins. We confess our shame and guilt, and then plead for help.

Serious transgressions, such as violations of the law of chastity, may jeopardize a person's membership in the Church. Therefore, such sins need to be confessed to both the Lord and His priesthood representatives in the Church. This is done under the care of a bishop or branch president and possibly a stake or mission president, who serve as watchmen and judges in the Church. While only the Lord can forgive sins, these priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance. They will keep confessions confidential and help throughout the process of repentance.

I bolded a portion of it for emphasis.

[pam]

I don't care if the sin happened yesterday or 20 years ago...we are still required to confess to our Priesthood representative.

[pam]

If the missionaries went on a mission unworthily that also means they were endowed in the temple prior to their mission unworthily.

[Italics]

Ok. :) I don't know if they would be considered "filthy", but I do think they might be held accountable for not being completely obedient / repentant. I mean, if someone's fully repentant, he/she would do whatever it takes to gain complete forgiveness, including confessing to bishop- right?

Yeah, it's hard, but it's worth it. Being worthy of the highest celestial glory means we have to prove we are willing to go the extra mile.

So even though they had completely forsaken their sin, aren't repeating it, and have just served the Lord and spread the gospel to countless people for over 2 years, they haven't been fully forgiven? They haven't gone the extra mile? This is quite a statement!