Puzzled by my neighbors

[Snubbed]

Let me begin by stating that I'm not a member of the LDS church, but my neighbors are.

I wondered if there's a rule or a doctrine that teaches LDS members to not be nice to, talk to, help, or say thank you to someone who is not a member of the LDS church.

I've offered my neighbors a ride anywhere they needed to go since I saw their car was totaled in an accident. I used to bring them diaper coupons, toys my son outgrew and things of that nature. They just stared at me like I'm crazy.

They watch their children push over my short garden fence and walk in my little strip of vegetable garden. When I ask the children to put the fence back up and stay out of my garden, they ignore me walk away. They treat me like I'm not even there and nothing happened, the parents included.

Their dog gets out frequently, runs in the street and runs up to people barking and aggressive and when I see this, I call to the dog and put it on my fenced porch. I put a rope on her collar and take her home. They just take the dog from me and say nothing.

I'm just puzzled why they never even say sorry or thanks and wondered if they're not allowed to see me as a human being or whatever since I'm not a member.

They're very talkative and friendly to the young men who come around the neighborhood asking if you want to hear about the Book of Mormon and they invite them in for dinner along with another non-LDS neighbor who is really ummm harsh (cussing, drinking, smoking, naughty word tattoos) I guess you might call it, so that's why I wondered if it was because I'm not a member or they haven't asked me to discover LDS that they are so peculiar with me. They've never asked me if I was interested in the Book either.

Do you think they are just unique or if this is part of what they might have been taught?

Thanks for any help you can give me to help me understand.

[Just_A_Guy]

LDS culture can be a little insular, but (bearing in mind that there are two sides to every story) these neighbors of yours are sounding like jerks.

(Yeah, we Mormons have our share of 'em.)

[Seanette]

Unfortunately, any group of human beings is going to have some with, shall we say, "issues".

OTOH, this is sounding rather one-sided, and I agree that it would be interesting to know their side.

[NeuroTypical]

Hi Snubbed.

Yeah, our church has its share of jerks. Our church has a scripture: "By their works ye shall know them". Sounds like you're neighbors with some mormons who are jerks (or at least unaquainted with proper social ettiquette, and don't control their dogs).

Please don't judge us all based on this one family.

LM

(We've caught and returned our neighbor's dogs many more times than they've caught and returned ours)

[Snubbed]

Thanks for answering.

Well, I guess insular is what they might be.

Maybe one day I'll just ask them if they're angry with me because I bring their dog back when it gets out. I guess it's a possibility they really don't like the dog and want it to go away. You never know.

[Snubbed]

I promise I'm not going to make a judgement call all on the basis of one or some. Ya'll are so nice to answer me and help me sort out my thoughts and feelings. Thanks.

Maybe it is that we're all different people and take things in different ways(issues).

You know, I seriously will ask the next time I see them if they want me to stop getting their dog and offering to help them and if they feel it's intrusive, or any other reason there may be.

If I ever get a dog, it will be a lazy dog that doesn't run off :)

Edited June 15, 2009 by Snubbed

[StrawberryFields]

You sound like a wonderful neighbor to me. It will be interesting to see if there has been a misunderstanding somewhere.

Good Luck. :)

[Snubbed]

Thanks, Strawberry.

[Misshalfway]

Do you live in Utah, by chance? It would be interesting to see where you are running into this behavior.

I just want to clarify that no where in LDS teachings are we encouraged to exclude. Why it happens is sometimes a mystery to me. I live in Utah and have seen the tension between members and nonmembers my whole life. It is something I really want to understand better. Sometimes I think nonmembers come with a preconceived idea and that gets in the way.

Sometimes members are a little myopic in their thinking. Sometimes I think they fear nonmembers won't like them. Sometimes LDS people do find it uncomfortable to be around the drinking of alcohol or language or other practices that are normal to other groups. I don't think we know how to handle behavioral differences like this in the best sorts of ways.

I wonder if the behavior of these people has nothing to do with you. Maybe they have lots on their mind. You never know what people are going thru. Or maybe they are just being jerks and maybe they don't know it. Why not go sit down and open the dialogue? Maybe it would be good to gently approach the subject.

I think I might be impressed if a nonmember explained to me (lovingly, of course) what it was like to live in a neighborhood of Mormons. Might help me be more sensitive or do things differently to change the dynamics and it might help the nonmember understand their observations better.

[applepansy]

Sunbbed, will you move into the house next to me? I would love a neighbor like you. I promise to be friendly.

All groups of people have all personality types. I'm sorry your neighbors have offended you. No, there behavior is not condoned by the church or its teachings.

[Seanette]

Hey, as long as Snubbed isn't blaring loud music when neighbors are trying to sleep or roaming around drunk yelling four-letter words, he? would be a major improvement over some people in my neighborhood, and I'm as friendly a neighbor as I'm allowed to be. :)

[StrawberryFields]

Thanks, Strawberry.

You are Welcome.:)

I thought of something after I wrote this post.

Do your neighbors wear long sleeved shirts for the men no matter what the weather is? Do the women wear updo's and dresses just about everywhere?

I have seen some people who stand out like this and I think that they are sometimes mistaken for LDS. I am LDS and I have been treated as you describe, if I speak to them I get the weirdest stares ever.

[deals_dog]

Our church is full of people too, some good some bad and even the odd nutter or three. Catholics, Baptists, Jews hindu's etc have their fair share too. I am sorry that your neighbours are not appearing to be living as well as they should, don't judge us all that way. I'll tell you what, you come down to New Zealand and move in next door to me and I will send my neighbour to live next door to your "Mormon friends" My good neigbour threatened to kill me one day when he was off his face drunk, tried to be nice to him but things just didn't work out, even had to call the cops to sort him out. Sounds like my neighbour could work mircles with yours

[pam]

And then you just have people who no matter what or how matter how nice you are..are just going to be grouchy neighbors.

[Winnie G]

I would love a neighbor like you, I am also LDS and Have LDS neighbor who are snobs

We plane a high fence and tall tree's