BenRaines Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 I was reading another thread and it got me to thinking. So many state that they all know what living the Law of Chastity means. I believe that for every person there is a different interpretation of what Living the Law of Chastity means. Please share what your belief is regarding living the Law of Chastity for Singles and for Marrieds. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 Well, in a nutshell it would mean no sexual relations outside of marriage and fidelity inside of marriage. I also think that accomplishing the proper perspective and behavior is a combination of self control and the absense of lust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 For those that are unmarried..to me it is anything that causes sexual arousal. It also pertains to thoughts. It's staying away from pornography which causes unclean thoughts. For those that are married..as Misshalfway said..fidelity inside of marriage. But it's also respecting your partner and appropriate boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 Not picking on anyone, please understand that. Notice how general the second post is. No sexual relations. How is that defined. Pam's response was nothing that causes sexual arousal among non marrieds. I think we used to call that petting. :) Kissing? Caressing? Touching? For non marrieds is it anything more than a goodnight kiss on the front porch? Back in high school I found some slow dancing to be rather stimulating. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 "the second post"? I have a name, you know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 Sorry Misshalfway. I didn't want you to feel picked on :) So many here have very tender feelings. Since I don't really know you I was trying for it not to be a personal attack. My error. :) Guess this is why I am not ever a favorite person of the week. LOL Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bini Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 To me the Law of Chastity is no sexual acts outside of marriage. And, unless there's some kind of doctrine on it (which I'm not disputing - I simply don't know), isn't that what the "literal" meaning of it would be? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 Sorry I wasn't more specific on my post concerning anything that causes sexual arousal. When I used the word anything I just thought people would understand that. But anything could be something that some would consider as innocent as kissing. Would include touching, caressing, touching, petting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 So based on a couple of posts then anything except for actual sex act is within the boundary of law of chastity? Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 It's ok Ben. I was just being sensitive for no reason. :) I am for affection without arrousal. Hands and minds in appropriate places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 No actual sex would apply to the law of chastity as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenRaines Posted October 22, 2009 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 So where is the line between affection and arousal? Also what is defined as no sex? I have heard the quote "Oral is moral". I believe it is not but I have heard it a justification by youth. I feel that this might be better covered in Adult area but I think it is something that teens and young adults should consider. I feel that society has lowered the bar so much in this area that there is a lot of confusion among not only the youth but the parents of today's youth. Ben Raines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 22, 2009 Report Share Posted October 22, 2009 An example of affection would be: I gave you a hug on Sunday showing my affection for you. But it was nothing more than that. I think we would need to define affection. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Justice Stewart's words (regarding pornography) seem fitting regarding the entire Law of Chastity:I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of [activity] I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it . . .Could it be that the Law of Chastity is analogous to the Word of Wisdom? That there is a certain "lowest common denominator" standard of behavior that applies to all of us, but that of some Church members God--through His Spirit--may reveal and require a higher (read: more stringent) standard of living? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarginOfError Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Strongly tied to the sacred, private parts of the body are powerful emotions intended to be used within the covenant of marriage between a man and woman in ways that are appropriate and acceptable to them both. They are an important part of the love and trust that bond a husband and wife together and prepare them for the responsibilities of a family. They bring the blessing of children. These emotions are not to be stimulated or used for personal gratification outside of the covenant of marriage. Do not touch the private, sacred parts of another person's body to stimulate those emotions. Do not allow anyone to do that with you, with or without clothing. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. These things are wrong. Do not do them (Richard G. Scott, "The Power of Righteousness," Conference, October 1988).Any action that causes a person to be sexually aroused through stimulation of his or her sex organs is a violation of the Law of Chastity. It doesn't get much simpler than that. If two people can have oral sex without becoming sexually aroused, then more power to them. If they can have sexual intercourse without being sexually aroused, then I guess that it wouldn't be sinful under this definition--it also wouldn't be fun.If it makes you horny, then it's best you scorn it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneEternalSonata Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 I believe the Law of Chasity is very personal, as people are aroused by different stimuli. If an activity causes someone to think or fantasize about either wholly inappropriate or extramarital affairs they should not engage in that activity. Personally, I feel anything more than a quick, moderate kiss should not happen between unmarried people. I always consider petting as beyond the boundaries for singles. That's my interpretation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hordak Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 So based on a couple of posts then anything except for actual sex act is within the boundary of law of chastity?Ben RainesIt isn't about "the letter" but the "spirit". Actual acts will vary based on different factors. Like your highschool example different things affect different people differently. Things that inspire lust in a 16 year old kid with hormones going nuts might be nothing to a 28 yearold single, or 50 year old widower. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunkyTown Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 Also what is defined as no sex?I have heard the quote "Oral is moral". I believe it is not but I have heard it a justification by youth.Ben RainesCurse you, Raines. I can't be laughing out loud at work!I can't even understand how this would be a justification. My opinion? If it's something you can't do in public with lots of people watching, it's against the law of chastity.I'm in to public displays of affection, however, so it's an easy distinction for me. If you're embarassed by holding hands in public? You can probably go farther than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarnished Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 I remember one of my past bishops saying, "Oral sex, is it sex? There is a reason it is called Oral sex, and that is because it is sex." My husband and I discussed this a little while ago when we were reading "The Miracle of Forgiveness" together. Pres. Kimball mentions things like "petting" and "necking". Both of us admitted that when we were teens we had no idea what that meant. He even said that he thought necking involved rubbing your necks together, but he saw no problem with giving hickeys (because he didn't know that was actually necking). I think there is a lot of terminology that is thrown around that is never explained. People are so careful to tiptoe around the subject and use vague terminology that if you aren't familiar with the term you may not know what they are talking about. For example, as a teen I didn't really know what constituted masterbation. It was something I really had to research before I realized what really defined it. For me I think outside of marriage the LoC (Law of Chasity) constitutes holding hands, brief kisses, hugging. I think it is best not to put yourself in a situation where you might be tempted to do something you will regret later. Group dates and such would be best. This is all coming from someone who never did any of this, I can only say from experience that being alone with someone of the opposite sex can lead to problems. Be careful. Inside of marriage I think that the LoC constitutes staying faithful to your spouse. This means that you should keep yourself in check when it comes to noticing people of the opposite sex who are not your spouse. Even friendships can be dangerous. My parents always lived by the rule of only having friends who were of the same sex. So my dad would have male friends and my mom would have female friends. Keeping your friendships gender based keeps you from problems. Also, make a point once you are married to never be alone with someone of the opposite sex (other than your spouse) don't even give yourself the opportunity for something to go wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alana Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 My favorite 'rules' as a single were that kisses stay on the lips and that hands stay off of any areas that would be covered by a bathing suit (not a bikini). Now married we are striving to have any sexual activity and thoughts to only be with our spouse. Oh and as sexual thoughts go, this doesn't mean I can have any fantasy I want as long as I put hubby in the main role, but if I want to think up something fun to do later that day with him, that is ok and encouraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 It's ok Ben. I was just being sensitive for no reason. :)I am for affection without arrousal. Hands and minds in appropriate places.For men, this is impossible. Affection IS arousal.And our feminist-infected notions notwithstanding, this is not a bad thing. Sex is the glorious act that allows men to feel things they would otherwise experience only partially or with great difficulty. It should be no surprise that a goodnight kiss does different things to a man than it does to a woman.Sisters, you are welcome to this idea of "affection without arousal", but please realize that it's not reality for men, at least when applied to male/female dating relationships. It's some weird kind of science fiction. Why do you think that some men think that feeling arousal for someone is the same as feeling love for her? Why do you suppose they are surprised that their demonstration of arousal to some female acquaintance is met with feelings of repugnance instead of flattery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unixknight Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 For men, this is impossible. Affection IS arousal.And our feminist-infected notions notwithstanding, this is not a bad thing. Sex is the glorious act that allows men to feel things they would otherwise experience only partially or with great difficulty. It should be no surprise that a goodnight kiss does different things to a man than it does to a woman.Sisters, you are welcome to this idea of "affection without arousal", but please realize that it's not reality for men, at least when applied to male/female dating relationships. It's some weird kind of science fiction. Why do you think that some men think that feeling arousal for someone is the same as feeling love for her? Why do you suppose they are surprised that their demonstration of arousal to some female acquaintance is met with feelings of repugnance instead of flattery?^This.I once heard a good guideline for keeping one's behavior within the bounds of the LoC... namely, if you wouldn't do it in front of your Bishop, don't do it.Now, that's a guideline. Like, sharing an extended kiss might be fine, and yet not something I'd do with the Bishop present, so on some level it may be overcautious, but as they say, "aim small, miss small." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 For men, this is impossible. Affection IS arousal.And our feminist-infected notions notwithstanding, this is not a bad thing. Sex is the glorious act that allows men to feel things they would otherwise experience only partially or with great difficulty. It should be no surprise that a goodnight kiss does different things to a man than it does to a woman.Sisters, you are welcome to this idea of "affection without arousal", but please realize that it's not reality for men, at least when applied to male/female dating relationships. It's some weird kind of science fiction. Why do you think that some men think that feeling arousal for someone is the same as feeling love for her? Why do you suppose they are surprised that their demonstration of arousal to some female acquaintance is met with feelings of repugnance instead of flattery?You know, I am ok with men and women being wired differently. But I have a hard time grouping holding handles, hugs goodnight, and even a really good extended kiss into breaking the law of chastity.....even if it does rev an engine for one or more involved. The law of chastity is more about control than it is about never feeling sexual impulses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenamarie Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 You know, I am ok with men and women being wired differently. But I have a hard time grouping holding handles, hugs goodnight, and even a really good extended kiss into breaking the law of chastity.....even if it does rev an engine for one or more involved. The law of chastity is more about control than it is about never feeling sexual impulses.Ah, yes, holding handles. The "Romantic Touch" for the reubenesque among us. (myself included) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted October 23, 2009 Report Share Posted October 23, 2009 LOL . Well now you know what really melts my butter! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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