Cool e-mail I received.

[bytor2112]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete

within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq

conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the

countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.. My press

secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and

indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN

EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders

grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ..

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we

still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Mess with us and we will hunt you down and

eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth..

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China ..

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia .. Thanks for all your

help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mezamies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with

more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't

care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets

tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the

world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you

folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will

have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep,

border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska- which will take care of this

country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List

2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer

them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of

just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in

America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America .. Thank you and good night."

[Just_A_Guy]

I'm glad President Bush didn't send this letter the first time I saw it in my e-mail box.

I agree with many of the sentiments there, but severing diplomatic relations with the central European powers would be disastrous; and the author pretty much loses all credibility with me by suggesting that we do so.

[bytor2112]

Yeah......severing is a bit....severe!

[Guest Godless]

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

"My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete

within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

We'll be out within the next two years.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq

conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the

countries listed there.

Actually, that list is quite long and contains a few countries that many Americans have probably never heard of, like Azerbaijan.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list.. My press

secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and

indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN

EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell holes and watch those government leaders

grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France ..

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we

still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Mess with us and we will hunt you down and

eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth..

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China ..

I'm all for putting more focus on domestic policy, but it seems childish to abandon our allies over a single conflict.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you

folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Aside from not sending troops to Iraq, what has Canada done to piss us off? BTW, I believe Canada and Germany did send troops to Afghanistan, though I could be wrong.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

Fine by me.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer

them by saying, 'darn tootin.'

I'm just itching to see how this would benefit us economically.

[NeuroTypical]

Whenever I want a dose of true three-sheets-to-the-wind presidenting, I go watch Monsters vs. Aliens.

"Eat Lead Aliens!" BLAM BLAM BLAM

[much munch gulp]

"Huh. Apparently, they eat lead..."

[secret service drags him backwards into a helicopter]

"I'M A VERY BRAVE PRESIDENT!!!"

[hordak]

Aside from not sending troops to Iraq, what has Canada done to piss us off? BTW, I believe Canada and Germany did send troops to Afghanistan, though I could be wrong.

.

You are correct. In fact the world record sniper shot, 1.42 miles belongs to a Canuck and was made in Afghanistan.

[Dravin]

You are correct. In fact the world record sniper shot, 1.42 miles belongs to a Canuck and was made in Afghanistan.

Don't you mean 2285* meters?

* Actually my understanding is that it was 2,430 meters, or ~1.51 miles for us 'Mericans.

Edited January 27, 2010 by Dravin

[Traveler]

The problem I have with this thinking is that seldom in our climate of world political leaders do those leaders reflect the sediments of their citizens. Even worse, often our allies are not honest leaders that serve their peoples and there are occasions when those that are enemy to our foreign policy agenda are concerned with the people they govern.

The Traveler

[rickytullis]

I tend to agree with cutting off aid to many of these countries. How much of our money has the gov't given to Haiti and the only people benefitting are the politicians on both sides of the water. I'm not talking about the aid for the recent disaster, I'm talking about the Billions of dollars of yearly aid that does nothing for the people but enriches the leaders. What about the Billions of yearly dollars that went to the Palestinians and all we got for that was when Yasar Araffat died he died one of the wealthiest men in the world while his people starved. If aid is sent, there has to be accountability.

[talisyn]

I agree with almost all of it, except Italy also sent troops into Afghanistan. I'll have to look harder but more than a few sent them into that country, including Canada.

[MarginOfError]

And all this time I was under the impression that Canada's defense strategy was "You wouldn't want to live here anyway!"

[FunkyTown]

And all this time I was under the impression that Canada's defense strategy was "You wouldn't want to live here anyway!"

Hahah. Too true. It's cold.

Actually, Canada has a pretty storied military history: Names like Vimy Ridge and Passchendaele are storied parts, along with the singlehanded taking of Juno Beach/Dieppe.

Canada has committed more troops cumulatively to the UN Peacekeeping forces than any other nation.

Canada did stand with the US in the invasion of Afghanistan. Against Iraq, the US claimed they had proof of weapons of mass destruction. The UN asked for proof which the US failed to show.

If Canada said, "Hey - We're invading Saudi Arabia(If Saudi Arabia became a former ally instead of an ally). They have weapons of mass destruction. We have proof, but you can't see it. Want to join in?" how likely do you think it would be that the US would say "YEAH! Great idea. Stupid WMDs! Who needs proof?"

[Guest Godless]

I agree with almost all of it, except Italy also sent troops into Afghanistan. I'll have to look harder but more than a few sent them into that country, including Canada.

Italy also sent troops to Iraq.

[bluedreams]

I'm Just glad whoever wrote this isn't president. That's one big load of knee-jerk, excessively emotive based policy that won't work all that well in the first place. If one was, they can be impeached for reckless endangerment of the American people, right?

For one cutting off our generous non-military aid pockets ain't going to do much (we spend around 23 billion dollars on aid....sounds big but it's only a tiny fraction of oru budget). cutting off Military aid/military actions may do a little bit more though considering we spend around 700 billion on that (give or take 10 billion...mostly give). Course it might not be too long till our military spending sky rockets again since we've decided to snub the world. It'll be interesting to see how long that will last before we start feeling some nasty effects from it. As it is we're already pumping tons of money into social security programs. The problem is that we don't do very well with that money.

Although I don't think it will be in war that we'll feel the biggest hit. Many of these countries that we seem to want to cut all ties with happen to own a good chunk of our debt. And even more happen to be major trade partners. Sanctions never really helped anybody. Oil cannot simply be found, dug up, processed, etc overnight. I don't care if alaska is litterally an ocean of oil covered by a layer of icy dirt, it'll take time to replace Mexico, Canada, and Saudi Arabia's oil imports And I sincerely doubt we could do it within one president's terms without causing severe economic upheaval on an economy that's not doing so well in the first place.

Isolationism won't fix the problems that our nation faces. When we were isolationist we still had plenty of problems coming our way. We just need to rearrange how we've come to balance our business. No need to go crazy and cut off our nose simply because things aren't going our way.

With luv,

BD

[Wingnut]

Aside from not sending troops to Iraq, what has Canada done to piss us off?

It's that accent. It's so contrived.

[Just_A_Guy]

I agree with almost all of it, except Italy also sent troops into Afghanistan.

And, IIRC, Spain pulled theirs out of Iraq in 2004 after the bombings in Madrid.

[deals_dog]

New Zealand a country of 4 million people has had involvement in Vietnam and presently has troops in Afghanistan. As a little nation we have stood by the US in a lot of conflicts. One of the schools in my local area was built by the US army during the 2nd war. We were extremely reluctant to walk into Iraq which I initially thought was an error in judgment by our prime minister, however I was the one in error. Hatred of the nature demonstrated by Sune and Shiites towards one another (excuse the spelling ) is just too great to extinguish. I believe in the good intention of the US in entering into this conflict however it seems to be proving to be a thorn in her side. What is more the US seems to have become a target, a symbol of hatred vindication for radical Muslim groups. If I had my way I would pull all my troops out and leave them to it.

[talisyn]

But, Bluedreams, just once wouldn't it be nice to shut the world out and say 'you deal with it'? We'd take a nice vacation, maybe throw a few parades and bbqs, and come back to the world refreshed and ready to go for a few more centuries

[dazed-and-confused]

i re-read this post and it still makes me laugh.

how easy that would be...and TEMPTING, too.

part of me would be too ready to thumb my nose at "all of them"......and the veteran in me would be right there when it came time to throw stones after everyone became really P.O.'d at us....

thank HF that i am calmer and older now.