Question about dating

[marshac]

I just saw a commercial about the new Twilight, June 30th and IMAX as well. Hmmmm.

Movies make poor first (or even second) dates IMO.

[EQ_Guy]

I have heard that women like men who are different. Show her you are unique. Don't pretend to be interested in Twighlight. If you like vampire movies then just mention you understand why she would like it. If she is quiet, she probably admires outgoingness. Show her you are not timid. Ask her out and see what happens. And remember to be more like Charlie and not like Alen in how you act/speak to her.

Well I'm pretty different, although I'm naturally a shy and quiet person too, although some/most don't think I am. I mean, I bless sacrament a lot and have given a couple talks and people said they were moved by them. I also make people laugh with some of my comments... but I'm still shy though... just nowhere near as shy as she is.

I won't pretend about Twilight though, I'm a horrible actor. :) I don't get the Charlie/Alen thing. Is Charlie a stud-boy vampire and Alen is NOT one or something?

A married couple invited me to their house for dinner recently and I suggested they ask her to come. The wife called, but she said she couldn't make it. She had NO idea I was there. I told her the next Sunday that it was my idea to ask her. Someone told me she may NOT have gotten the hint that I was interested in her. They suggested I be more aggressive with it and be more direct. I have noticed that she'll often make eye-contact with me if we're walking past each other in the halls, but she'll never smile or anything though. I don't know if that's shyness or something less than good.

I think I'm just going to make a "move" on here and this new Twilight movie might be my IN. More than anything, I'd just like to find out what she'll say about getting together with me.

[EQ_Guy]

Fast and testimony could be a good time- I've heard stranger things.

Huh, ask her out during Fast and Testimony? I don't get that.

[EQ_Guy]

Movies make poor first (or even second) dates IMO.

You're right, I totally forgot that for some reason. You're right beside the person, but nothing is going on between you two because of the movie.

Think I'm going to just pray about it... pray for something worthwhile to say and do with her. There's very few singles in my ward and she's one of like two that I sort of have an interest in.

[marshac]

Huh, ask her out during Fast and Testimony? I don't get that.

I was totally kidding- do NOT do it.

[Gwen]

not everyone thinks movies are a bad first date. if all you do is a movie then probably. but it allows you to be together without the pressure of a conversation. if you do dinner after you have something to talk about if you are nervous. if you do dinner before and want more time to visit then go for a walk after.

i guess the question is if she is really shy are you comfortable holding the conversation on your own if you have to till she relaxes?

[EQ_Guy]

I was totally kidding- do NOT do it.

Oh ok, I wasn't getting that.

[marshac]

it allows you to be together without the pressure of a conversation.

...and replaces it with the pressure of constantly thinking things like "Should I try and hold her hand?" or "Is her foot touching my foot on purpose?"... at least that's how it would go for me :)

To each their own :)

[marshac]

Oh ok, I wasn't getting that.

Apologies then

[Gwen]

...and replaces it with the pressure of constantly thinking things like "Should I try and hold her hand?" or "Is her foot touching my foot on purpose?"... at least that's how it would go for me :)

To each their own :)

lol fair enough. maybe i think about different things during a movie than a guy would. lol

[marshac]

lol fair enough. maybe i think about different things during a movie than a guy would. lol

Like the movie?

[EQ_Guy]

not everyone thinks movies are a bad first date. if all you do is a movie then probably. but it allows you to be together without the pressure of a conversation. if you do dinner after you have something to talk about if you are nervous. if you do dinner before and want more time to visit then go for a walk after.

i guess the question is if she is really shy are you comfortable holding the conversation on your own if you have to till she relaxes?

The part that concerns me about a person is when/if I feel I'm putting pressure on them. I really don't like doing that. But, I'm hoping that she'd just not deal with me if she felt that way. She went on a mission to a foreign country, so I could always get her to talk about that.

[EQ_Guy]

...and replaces it with the pressure of constantly thinking things like "Should I try and hold her hand?" or "Is her foot touching my foot on purpose?"... at least that's how it would go for me :)

To each their own :)

No way would I try to hold her hand. I mean, not unless she was to totally open up and we really hit it off. I really doubt that. When others in the ward talk about her, most comment on how quiet she is. The teacher picked her row to read some scripture and when she read she was soooo quiet. I'm not going to comment on feet. She had the cutest shoes on yesterday... cute toes, too. :)

[Traveler]

I'm not sure if that's a term for something, but what is your definiton of a "sharp girl?"

It is kind of like figuring out what is a good restraint. The parking lot is full and there is a line waiting to get in. When I was at BYU (many years ago) there was a saying that 90% of the guys were dating 10% of the girls. It is not just about looks. There are many “products” that are “above” the rest and therefore do not need to advertize as much.

Maybe it is my pro-active approach to life. Kind of like a bishop I met in the mission field who (back in the 60’s) made $100,000 a year as a welder and he only worked about half the year. His answer – If you are going to be something – be the best there is at it. He considered himself the world’s best welder – when no one else could do the job – he was called. I am not talking about show – I am talking about substance and depth.

If a girl is worth dating – make sure she understands that you have already figured it out when you ask her out the very first time and every time thereafter. I always thought that if a girl was turned off by a guy that knows what he wants – that is good news – most of my work was done before I hardly did anything. Time to move on – and as Dr Laura would say, find a much better match.

After many years of marriage, I can say that I married above myself. I have a most outstandingly sharp wife – but I had to win her and I have had to win her again and again throughout our marriage. And you know what? It has made me much better and happier for it. Anything worthwhile is worth all the effort.

The Traveler

[EQ_Guy]

...and replaces it with the pressure of constantly thinking things like "Should I try and hold her hand?" or "Is her foot touching my foot on purpose?"... at least that's how it would go for me :)

To each their own :)

I've seen her really looking at my hands a couple times when I've talked with her. I'm not sure of why she did, but she did. I've had girls and guys tell me that I have nice hands, so maybe she feels the same way or somethin.'

[EQ_Guy]

It is kind of like figuring out what is a good restraint. The parking lot is full and there is a line waiting to get in. When I was at BYU (many years ago) there was a saying that 90% of the guys were dating 10% of the girls. It is not just about looks. There are many “products” that are “above” the rest and therefore do not need to advertize as much.

Maybe it is my pro-active approach to life. Kind of like a bishop I met in the mission field who (back in the 60’s) made $100,000 a year as a welder and he only worked about half the year. His answer – If you are going to be something – be the best there is at it. He considered himself the world’s best welder – when no one else could do the job – he was called. I am not talking about show – I am talking about substance and depth.

If a girl is worth dating – make sure she understands that you have already figured it out when you ask her out the very first time and every time thereafter. I always thought that if a girl was turned off by a guy that knows what he wants – that is good news – most of my work was done before I hardly did anything. Time to move on – and as Dr Laura would say, find a much better match.

After many years of marriage, I can say that I married above myself. I have a most outstandingly sharp wife – but I had to win her and I have had to win her again and again throughout our marriage. And you know what? It has made me much better and happier for it. Anything worthwhile is worth all the effort.

The Traveler

Thank you for this, but your 3rd paragraphed losted me.

[pam]

Thank you for this, but your 3rd paragraphed losted me.

This sentence losted me too.

[Gwen]

This sentence losted me too.

isn't there a rule about nit-picking? i bet we could message a head mod for clarification.

[pam]

Now isn't there a difference between nit-picking and teasing? haha Okay maybe I'm busted.

[Voyager]

I won't pretend about Twilight though, I'm a horrible actor. I don't get the Charlie/Alen thing. Is Charlie a stud-boy vampire and Alen is NOT one or something?

Sorry, I thought you may have seen 2 1/2 Men before.

[EQ_Guy]

Sorry, I thought you may have seen 2 1/2 Men before.

"2.5 men," I've seen that show before, but don't remember the names of the character. I really don't get why that show is so popular. I loved Charlie Sheen in "Wall Street" and a couple other movies, but his tv show.... I watched because initially I thought his girlfriend was cute, I'm a lover of brunettes, but to keep seeing her oh so fake chest turned me off.

[Wingnut]

I've seen her really looking at my hands a couple times when I've talked with her. I'm not sure of why she did, but she did. I've had girls and guys tell me that I have nice hands, so maybe she feels the same way or somethin.'

My guess is that you're probably hoping to read more into this than is actually there. Since she's super shy and quiet, she was more than likely just trying to avoid making eye contact.

Sorry, I thought you may have seen 2 1/2 Men before.

Yeah, I totally didn't get it either. And what does 2 1/2 Men have to do with Twilight?

[FunkyTown]

My guess is that you're probably hoping to read more into this than is actually there. Since she's super shy and quiet, she was more than likely just trying to avoid making eye contact.

She also may be terrified those same hands are going to make a move.

You know what the best way is to handle something like this?

Ask the girl out. And don't just say 'Hang out' or the like. When she says, 'Yes', grin playfully and say 'Awesome. It's a date!' or something to let her know this isn't you being nice. It is a date. Be forward. Allow yourself to get shot down if she wants to. If you don't put yourself out, you'll never find out.

[Wingnut]

Ask the girl out. And don't just say 'Hang out' or the like. When she says, 'Yes', grin playfully and say 'Awesome. It's a date!' or something to let her know this isn't you being nice. It is a date. Be forward. Allow yourself to get shot down if she wants to. If you don't put yourself out, you'll never find out.

Yeah, I've said that two or three times in this thread already, but it's been glossed over. :)

[beefche]

Yeah, I totally didn't get it either. And what does 2 1/2 Men have to do with Twilight?

I think Charlie and Alen are the character names in 2 1/2 Men--EQ used those names when trying to talk about the Twilight characters (instead of Edward and Hot Boy What's His Name).