does God punish you for doing bad things

[Soldier752]

I'm 18 and been a member all my life, I haven't always been the strongest member but I still try sometimes. The thing is I feel at times God punishes me when I do something wrong. Whether its swearing, not going to church or seminary, not reading my scriptures but those aren't real big things. I manly feel this way because I look at porn and have sexual thoughts all the time. I've been trying for years to stop and I only look maybe once a month but I think about sex 24/7. I know I should stop and I say I want to but deep down I don't think I want too. I'm not a bad person or anything and I"m nice to people and liked(no one knows about this though) I'll never touch drugs or alcohol.

I feel this way cause somethings have happened in my life that I feel punished for and it relates back to porn. I'm way worried that trying to find a wife God will punish me because of my sexual fantasies. I repent every morning and night for it and I sincerlly mean it.

So does God not help people in their lives when it comes to stuff like this?

[hordak]

I'm 18 and...

... I think about sex 24/7.

You are a normal male.

[crazypotato]

You are not alone. There are tons of people in and out of the church that have a problem with porn. It is normal for a young man to want to look at it.

You can't have the Holy Ghost when you break this commandment. I don't know if I would call this a punishment more than a law. The Holy Ghost is offended by porn and by those kinds of thoughts that you are having. Don't ever think that God is mean and trying to punish you because he doesn't like you or something. It is just a natural consequence that you are experiencing.

Have you talked to your bishop and asked for his help? His job isn't so much as to hurry and condemn you and kick you to the curb as it is to try and help you repent and bring you to Christ. I am sure his office is full of visits from other people struggling with the same problem. If you keep it a secret, I think it will be harder to repent.

Have you tried fasting often for the strength and the desire to overcome this temptation? Everyone, whether they are strugglng with porn or any sin needs to fast to have spiritual strength. Prayer and scripture study are good, but fasting gives added strength.

Do you have thoughts and activities to do to replace this? When you are having these thoughts, you need to actively fight them by thinking more righteous thoughts, like imagining a positive image. Also, when you are fantasizing, you can repeatedly tell yourself that those women are probably high on drugs, have families that are horrified by their behavior or are from horrific homes, or are airbrushed or whatever. The truth can start killing your fantasies. Those women are someone's daughter or sister that is demeaning herself and destroying her life. She is not actually turned on by you and if you were struck by lightning or hit by a car, she couldn't care less.

[Traveler]

I'm 18 and been a member all my life, I haven't always been the strongest member but I still try sometimes. The thing is I feel at times God punishes me when I do something wrong. Whether its swearing, not going to church or seminary, not reading my scriptures but those aren't real big things. I manly feel this way because I look at porn and have sexual thoughts all the time. I've been trying for years to stop and I only look maybe once a month but I think about sex 24/7. I know I should stop and I say I want to but deep down I don't think I want too. I'm not a bad person or anything and I"m nice to people and liked(no one knows about this though) I'll never touch drugs or alcohol.

I feel this way cause somethings have happened in my life that I feel punished for and it relates back to porn. I'm way worried that trying to find a wife God will punish me because of my sexual fantasies. I repent every morning and night for it and I sincerlly mean it.

So does God not help people in their lives when it comes to stuff like this?

I believe you are looking at things backwards. There are consequences for things you do and there are consequences for thoughts you entertain. The L-rd is not going to interfere with you choices but he will intervene when you repent.

The word “disciple” has the same root meaning as discipline. As Disciples of Christ we are in the process of disciplining ourselves in the way of the master Jesus Christ. I suggest you learn a hymn or scripture to repeat to yourself to help control your thoughts.

The Traveler

[Cassiopeia]

I'm always concerned when poeple say that if we sin we can't have the Holy Ghost with us.

I don't think it's that simple. I think when we are participating in something we shouldn't he can't be our constant companion but he still does visit and prompt us to repent and comfort and encourage us.

[crazypotato]

I'm always concerned when poeple say that if we sin we can't have the Holy Ghost with us.

I don't think it's that simple. I think when we are participating in something we shouldn't he can't be our constant companion but he still does visit and prompt us to repent and comfort and encourage us.

Which is what I meant. You can't call upon the Holy Ghost and have his spirit always with you. The Holy Ghost can come to you and prompt you, but you don't have the power to have the Spirit with you when you are looking at pornography or thinking about it.

[Moksha]

You are a normal male.

I imagine with an overly active sense of shame, one could transform into a neurotic male.

[Moksha]

I imagine with an overly active sense of shame, one could transform into a neurotic male.

Oh yeah???!!!

Well even then, God would still love him. So there.

[Snow]

I'm 18 and been a member all my life, I haven't always been the strongest member but I still try sometimes. The thing is I feel at times God punishes me when I do something wrong. Whether its swearing, not going to church or seminary, not reading my scriptures but those aren't real big things. I manly feel this way because I look at porn and have sexual thoughts all the time. I've been trying for years to stop and I only look maybe once a month but I think about sex 24/7. I know I should stop and I say I want to but deep down I don't think I want too. I'm not a bad person or anything and I"m nice to people and liked(no one knows about this though) I'll never touch drugs or alcohol.

I feel this way cause somethings have happened in my life that I feel punished for and it relates back to porn. I'm way worried that trying to find a wife God will punish me because of my sexual fantasies. I repent every morning and night for it and I sincerlly mean it.

So does God not help people in their lives when it comes to stuff like this?

Punish is what way?

Clearly God does not punish people in any patterned way that makes sense, nor does He reward in any patterned way that can be discerned.

There are people, tons of people who engage in what we Mormons think of as sinful behavior that lead healthy, happy, successful, enlightened and fulfilling lives and tons of people that lead the lives of devote committed Christians / Mormons and who are unhealthy, unhappy, unsuccessful and unfulfilled.

For that matter, I am not even sure that you can make valid generalizations about spirituality / the Holy Ghost and peoples' behaviors. When I reflect back on the times in my life when I was the most or least spiritual and the most or least "obedient," there doesn't seem to be a particularly strong correlation. I can certainly discern a connection between my spirituality and my desire to be spiritual and my service to my fellow man but it doesn't seem to be much connected to by avoidance of sin in general.

That doesn't mean that I am promoting a sinful lifestyle. I think that we should be both spiritual and obedient - just that you can't rely on rewards and punishment commensurate with your behavior.

[Seminarysnoozer]

I'm 18 and been a member all my life, I haven't always been the strongest member but I still try sometimes. The thing is I feel at times God punishes me when I do something wrong. Whether its swearing, not going to church or seminary, not reading my scriptures but those aren't real big things. I manly feel this way because I look at porn and have sexual thoughts all the time. I've been trying for years to stop and I only look maybe once a month but I think about sex 24/7. I know I should stop and I say I want to but deep down I don't think I want too. I'm not a bad person or anything and I"m nice to people and liked(no one knows about this though) I'll never touch drugs or alcohol.

I feel this way cause somethings have happened in my life that I feel punished for and it relates back to porn. I'm way worried that trying to find a wife God will punish me because of my sexual fantasies. I repent every morning and night for it and I sincerlly mean it.

So does God not help people in their lives when it comes to stuff like this?

Not going to seminary, or at least sleeping through my seminary classes I can speak about ... I think those things you mentioned don't result in punishments but rather make it more difficult to choose the right later on. Every action we take, even from our youth onward, molds our ability to make correct decisions later in life. This is why we teach, learn wisdom in your youth. But, no matter where you find yourself right now, one can always start to make correct choices, like not looking at pornography. What will eventually happen is that those challenges will seem less difficult over time, less of a burden. I agree with what Snow said, that it is difficult to find direct correlations between certain choices and rewards and punishments but I believe keeping our minds pure and our hearts contrite and focusing on doing right continually will make it easier to overcome challenges. I can see the difference in my life when I have lived the 'basics' versus times where I didn't pay attention to those things and how quickly I slipped away from hearing the spirit and having that comfort.

[Justice]

Satan wants you to continue to keep it a secret. He tells you that you should be man enough to overcome it by yourself. He tells you that you don't need Christ or the atonement. He tells you not to talk to your Bishop.

I would say your prayers to the Lord and repentance would get a lot more sincere if you did all you could to stop... which includes speaking to your Bishop.

[Cassiopeia]

I think we give Satan too much credit. It seems to me that the consequences of discussing this with anyone is enough to make a person want to keep it to themselves.

[Snow]

Satan wants you to continue to keep it a secret. He tells you that you should be man enough to overcome it by yourself. He tells you that you don't need Christ or the atonement. He tells you not to talk to your Bishop.

I would say your prayers to the Lord and repentance would get a lot more sincere if you did all you could to stop... which includes speaking to your Bishop.

Why is it, do you think, that Satan talks to you so much but he doesn't say squat to me?

Seriously, you guys are always chatting with the devil but he is a stranger to me. Why is that?

[pam]

You are too evil to talk to Snow. Even for Satan.

[Dravin]

You are too evil to talk to Snow. Even for Satan.

You should have gone with, "He hasn't needed your advice yet."

[Melissa569]

Well, I won't tell you to stop thinking about sex, because its perfectly normal. But I do think you should cut out the porn.

However, just because thinking about sex is normal, that doesn't mean its ok to run out and sleep with every girl you meet. How or why you go about having sex, and with who, can still be bad or good. But I honestly would be very concerned if you NEVER thought about sex. Anybody with normal, working body parts, and a normal, healthy libido is going to think about it. Its a natural drive that has been keeping the human race around for thousands of years. Thoughts always come before actions, and you certainly cannot have it without thinking about it first. So its not a bad thing. But your thoughts should be loving, and for someone that you (at least believe) you love.

God doesn't punish us, dear. He doesn't need to, we do that just fine on our own. Hell is only hell because its full of cruel and evil people, who do all those terrible things to each other, because they're sick. Its not like God is sitting down there holding people up by their ankles and laughing wickedly as he dips people head-first into pits of acid, lol. No, that would be Satan, my friend.

And about the porn-- you might be right about any attempts at marriage getting messed up if you keep indulging in that stuff... But not because God did it. Again, you would have done it to yourself (sounds harsh, but its true).

How? Well.... Porn is going to give you an EXTREMELY unrealistic (and unloving) idea about sex and women. Meaning in real life, niether women nor sex will be the way they are in porn. And when you finally do get married, if you expect things in the bedroom to be just like the porn you watched-- you're going to be very disappointed.

Not only that, but your wife is NOT gonna like it if you act and talk the way the men in the porn movies do... Because of that, she may then decide that she doesn't enjoy intimacy, and you will have a major problem on your hands. Lack of intimacy and neglected needs can lead to a divorce, fighting, or cheating. Its just not worth all the trouble it can cause. If you're going to think about it, try to stick to more realistic scenarios.

For example, a real woman is not gonna be instantly ready for it, with no effort from you. She's also not going to be cussing like a sailor, or talking like a toilet, the way the women in porn are-- and she's probably not going to like YOU doing any of that either. Just keep that in mind, so you know what to expect. If you've ever seen a chick flick on the Lifetime channel, I would say that's a more accurate picture of how a real woman might behave, lol.

As long as you stick with real-life scenarios in your mind, and you pick a woman based on love, I'm sure you'll be alright.

Edited July 21, 2010 by Melissa569

[Hemidakota]

I'm 18 and been a member all my life, I haven't always been the strongest member but I still try sometimes. The thing is I feel at times God punishes me when I do something wrong. Whether its swearing, not going to church or seminary, not reading my scriptures but those aren't real big things. I manly feel this way because I look at porn and have sexual thoughts all the time. I've been trying for years to stop and I only look maybe once a month but I think about sex 24/7. I know I should stop and I say I want to but deep down I don't think I want too. I'm not a bad person or anything and I"m nice to people and liked (no one knows about this though) I'll never touch drugs or alcohol.

I feel this way cause somethings have happened in my life that I feel punished for and it relates back to porn. I'm way worried that trying to find a wife God will punish me because of my sexual fantasies. I repent every morning and night for it and I sincerlly mean it.

So does God not help people in their lives when it comes to stuff like this?

Well, good morning Soldier.

With any thought of unrighteousness, in this case having sexual thoughts or watching/reading porn, allowing it to fill and dwell in the mind, eventually, you will succumb to it and thus, it becomes action in one form or another. Either we ignore the thought and replace it with something that is eternal uplifting; or it will become who we are. If left unchecked, it can be an addition and a canker to the soul. There is time and place to for sex thoughts and its driven force but now it is not the time. If you want to stop, it starts with you first and not GOD. There are plenty of support and aid given through the church, also through the internet with support groups. A word of warning, anything that is a vice to you, you need to disconnect from it. Anything that places a thought, you need to quickly replace it with a conversion with your Heavenly Father or the Savior; uplifting tune can help. A good thought replaces a bad thought or thoughts that are not conducive for your soul.

Putting it in a layman term, regarding why you feel everything goes wrong after not being obedient and GOD’s is punishing you, look at it from an analysis point: what happened before the event, where you the cause or was it another force involved, self analysis of the cause, and what did you do about it to prevent future repeatable causes?

Regarding the Gift of the Holy Ghost and what happens to our state in being involved in anything unholy, John A. Widtsoe stated,

"The gift of the Holy Ghost confers upon a person the right to receive, as he may desire and need, the presence, light and intelligence of the Holy Ghost. It gives, as it were, an official claim upon the mighty assistance and comforting assurance of the Holy Ghost. When the servants of the Lord display a spiritual power beyond the command of man; when the grief-laden heart beats with joy; when failure is converted into victory, it is by the visitation of the Holy Ghost. It is the Spirit of God under the direction of the Holy Ghost that quickeneth all things.

The gift of the Holy Ghost remains inoperative unless a person leads a blameless life. Worthiness determines whether a person shall enjoy the privileges promised when the "gift" is conferred. It is useless to expect this high official assistance unless there is daily conformity to the laws of the gospel. Faith and prayer, out of the heart and unceasing, will fit a person for the presence of the Holy Ghost, and to such a life he will respond in power.

Latter-day Saints have received, under the hands of those divinely empowered, this inexpressibly glorious "gift," which will lead them if they are fitted, into the companionship of the Holy Ghost, and win for them intelligence and power to win joy in life and exaltation in the world to come. Those who have been so blessed have not always understood the greatness of that which has been given them, or have not earnestly sought its help. So powerful a gift, with such boundless promise, justifies every attempt to cleanse body and soul. Certain it is, that only with the aid of the Holy Ghost shall we be able to rise to the heights of salvation of which we dream and for which we pray." (Man and the Dragon, pp. 150-51) TLDP:276-77

Expectation from GOD, is striving to the best we can and HE will add what is needed to fill in the parts that you cannot do for yourself.

[Justice]

Why is it, do you think, that Satan talks to you so much but he doesn't say squat to me?

Seriously, you guys are always chatting with the devil but he is a stranger to me. Why is that?

Yeah, I made a lot of assumptions.

Mostly, for effect. But, partly because IF Satan were to speak he would be found speaking against Christ, or anything He stands for... repentance being the topic.

We've discussed it before, and I'm still not really sure how temptations happen. But, the scriptures are clear that he is here to tempt us to act contrary to what we know to be right.

And, partly logic. If the right thing is to speak to the Bishop to seek honest and sincere repentance, then it just *seems* that Satan would tempt contrary to doing the right thing.

Snow, I think he "speaks" to you through temptations more than you know... in whatever way he is allowed.

[Snow]

Snow, I think he "speaks" to you through temptations more than you know... in whatever way he is allowed.

Of course I can just as easily say that the ghost of Milton Berle's dog temps me and by virtue of the evidence, I'd be just as accurate as your claim.

I don't feel the need to resort to invisible beasts to explain my thoughts and behaviors any more than I need to look to the constellations.

[coyotemoon722]

Yeah Porn is a problem for almost all males outside the church, and many within. I feel that the church and the prophets and high counsel do everything they can to give talks on porn, but it's such an amazingly strong influence that it's often not enough. It's unfortunate.

There's a new website called Combating Pornography, and it's fairly helpful in that it has a lot of talks from General Authorities on pornography.

I really sympathize with you. I've had the problem most of my life as a NON-member, and only recently became a member less than a year ago. Every time I think I have my thoughts in check, a spell comes over me and I become practically mindless, seeking out something to quench the fires of lust. It happens much less frequently as a member, but it happens. It also happens less the more I have PEOPLE in my life. I moved out to an area where I don't know anyone, and loneliness seems to be a strong trigger.

Still, I have faith that if I do everything I'm supposed to be doing, I can curb it. And the next time the thoughts arise, I should immediately grab my scriptures. (2Nephi 4 is a great one) I also believe in casting out devils through prayer and fasting. Lustful thoughts a lot of times happen in the bedroom. If you cast out any demons that could be lingering, that's a help. Good luck, I'll keep you in my prayers.

Edit: Sorry, I wanted to quickly address the topic title. I personally don't believe that God punishes people for looking at porn or whatever. However, I do think that when someone is living unrighteously, the Holy Priesthood can be withdrawn from them, even if temporarily. And not being strong in the priesthood could cause you to not be able to properly receive guidance from the Holy Spirit, which could cause things to go wrong in your life. Through repentance and proper behavior, the Priesthood can be restored. Living worthily is the surest way to spiritual success as a living Saint on this Earth.

Edited July 22, 2010 by coyotemoon722

[pam]

Of course I can just as easily say that the ghost of Milton Berle's dog temps me and by virtue of the evidence, I'd be just as accurate as your claim.

I don't feel the need to resort to invisible beasts to explain my thoughts and behaviors any more than I need to look to the constellations.

I would wager a guess that many on this site are too young to even know who Milton Berle is.

[coyotemoon722]

Well, I won't tell you to stop thinking about sex, because its perfectly normal. But I do think you should cut out the porn.

I don't agree with this. Though it is 'typical' for males to think about sex, they shouldn't just use that as a cop out to think about sex whenever they want. Impure thoughts, committing adultery in your heart, is not something that we should consider 'normal' and advocate. Those thoughts, upon entering, should be chased out as quickly as possible.

Obviously the process can take years to master, but there's no reason to advocate such behavior, thereby stunting someone's ability to become perfected.

[Snow]

I would wager a guess that many on this site are too young to even know who Milton Berle is.

Milton Berle, Mr Television performed on TV into the 90's and died in 2002. They don't come any bigger than Berle, he being one of the first 7 people inducted into the Television Hall of Fame.

Not knowing Milton Berle wouldn't be a matter of youth, but rather a matter of willful obliviousness or perhaps head trauma.

[Matthew0059]

To those not talking about the issue presented in the OP: Could you please show Soldier752 respect and take your conversation elsewhere?

To Soldier752: I encourage you to talk to your bishop about your addiction. In my experience (having had problems with sexual addictions), talking to your bishop is the best thing you can do. It's always hard, but it's ALWAYS worth it. It is within your power to conquer this addiction- even though you don't see it now.

You are a son of the almighty GOD and can call on the powers of heaven to assist you if you so desire. Recognizing that, deep down, you really don't want to stop is actually a good thing- the faster you realize what your natural man really wants and how much power he has over your spiritual man, the faster you can bring your problems before the LORD and pray mightily for a change of heart. No one overcomes addiction of any kind without the power of the Atonement and the principles of the Gospel.

I encourage and exhort you to seek help as soon as possible. You've recognized the problem and feel sorrow for it- now, you need to take the next step and confess. You've done so to us; don't stop there! Trust me: talking to your bishop about your addiction will help you overcome it, because the bishop has access to resources that are designed to help men in your situation. The Church's Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) is fantastic, and LDS Family Services therapists are available for cheap if you need professional help.

All the means to overcoming your addiction are available to you- I implore you to seek the help of CHRIST and the means that HE has put in place in the Church and your family to help you overcome this addiction. You are not alone.

[beckysoup61]

You are a normal male.

Ditto on that one.

Males of that age usually have one thing on their mind. It's quite natural and normal.