Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?

[UrbanFool]

Aren't those pretty much the same thing? Unless #2 happens when you are the last speaker.

Well yeah, but read the full version in the Meridian. Then you'll see the difference.

Oh... and thank you for the link. I'll add this article to my "speaking" folder. I'm happy for anything that makes me a more effective speaker/teacher.

[pam]

Well it'd help if the Chorister/Organist/Pianist wouldn't play them at half speed.

Amen or is that Aymen or Ahmen. Seriously, I find myself leading the music to myself in my seat and wanting to scream out speed it up will ya.

[Moksha]

So, what you are saying is that you want only speakers that appeal to you. Forget that most speakers in local wards have absolutely no experience speaking. Or that most of them are not familiar with scholarly works on the scriptures. Or that most of them are given a broad topic and told to use scriptures to fine tune their talk.

Beefche, you bring up an excellent point. There is a trade off in having this and a lay ministry at the same time. If we appreciate a lay ministry and services where members of the congregation speak, then we must be accepting of that which results. I too am accepting of this. However, I still appreciate Sunday talks that are inspirational and help me conceptualize the world in fresh new ways. Nothing is wrong with that, nor is there anything wrong with other people liking liver and black licorice.

[crazypotato]

Beefche, you bring up an excellent point. There is a trade off in having this and a lay ministry at the same time. If we appreciate a lay ministry and services where members of the congregation speak, then we must be accepting of that which results. I too am accepting of this. However, I still appreciate Sunday talks that are inspirational and help me conceptualize the world in fresh new ways. Nothing is wrong with that, nor is there anything wrong with other people liking liver and black licorice.

I LOVE black licorice!!!!! And my husband, when he was a kid, used to get to go pick out a liver to eat for being a good boy.

[crazypotato]

Amen or is that Aymen or Ahmen. Seriously, I find myself leading the music to myself in my seat and wanting to scream out speed it up will ya.

I knew of a music leader/organist that used to yell out during the songs for people to sing louder, or with more enthusiasm, as if it were choir practice.

Now that adds to the spice of the ward. Plus, I think church is kind of boring if all the talks are polished. What about the crazy people that go off on tangents? I still remember a sacrament meeting from a nice old man who was probably suffering from dementia. He started out his talk about some gospel subject, but then cut into a wild tangent about the dangers of using power tools and how he knew someone who sawed into their hand. This wasn't an analogy or related at all to the talk, but I still remember. Twas great!

[pam]

I knew of a music leader/organist that used to yell out during the songs for people to sing louder, or with more enthusiasm, as if it were choir practice.

I don't think yelling out is appropriate. A director can use a number of hand signals to get a point across without yelling out. Especially in a Sacrament meeting.

[crazypotato]

I don't think yelling out is appropriate. A director can use a number of hand signals to get a point across without yelling out. Especially in a Sacrament meeting.

But it's funny! I know it is socially taboo, that is why it is more entertaining. We are, after all, talking about church being boring.

[Snow]

The author is spot on. LDS meetings are indeed beyond tedious. She is right on all five counts.

Some here may remember that a few years back I spent a year attending services of other religions and other denominations, in addition to my own LDS services. I hit just about everything. I wouldn't characterize all service as better than ours or better than the others - though some were worse - but I did run across meetings that offered more joy, meetings that offered more awe, meetings that offered more beauty, meetings that offered better wine for the sacrament.

I assume the Church has a reason for making it's meetings as boring as possible but I am not sure what it is.

[Dravin]

I assume the Church has a reason for making it's meetings as boring as possible but I am not sure what it is.

To give the High Priests a valid excuse for sleeping?

[Snow]

To give the High Priests a valid excuse for sleeping?

Sleeping would be counterproductive. It would take up all the good reading time - the key being to sit behind someone tall enough to block the bishop's line of sight.

However - about sleeping, when is someone going to invent a little chin shelf so your head doesn't keep dropping and waking you up?

[Cassiopeia]

Well, if you'd like some tips on how to make it not so boring, I have a few.

1. Take a pad of paper and coloured pencils with you. On your paper, draw a snowflake and at the heart of the snowflake write the talk's topic. Then along every branch of your snowflake try to fill it in as much as possible with points the speaker is trying to make. Jot down any story they might share.

2. Think of things you might add to the topic if you were giving the talk.

3. Become a better speaker yourself by critiquing their talk and getting Dale Carnegie's book, Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking. It is heralded by Toastmasters and universities alike.

4. Always listen with the intent that the speaker will give out some gem of wisdom to take with you.

5. Eat before you go to church (not on fast sundays of course).

6. Get enough sleep on Saturday night so you are rested.

7. Learn to set aside your worries and fears before going to church. Life is tough enough, we need our three hours of peace and spiritual nourishment.

[Wingnut]

Well, if you'd like some tips on how to make it not so boring, I have a few.

1. Take a pad of paper and coloured pencils with you. On your paper, draw a snowflake and at the heart of the snowflake write the talk's topic. Then along every branch of your snowflake try to fill it in as much as possible with points the speaker is trying to make. Jot down any story they might share.

2. Think of things you might add to the topic if you were giving the talk.

3. Become a better speaker yourself by critiquing their talk and getting Dale Carnegie's book, Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking. It is heralded by Toastmasters and universities alike.

4. Always listen with the intent that the speaker will give out some gem of wisdom to take with you.

5. Eat before you go to church (not on fast sundays of course).

6. Get enough sleep on Saturday night so you are rested.

7. Learn to set aside your worries and fears before going to church. Life is tough enough, we need our three hours of peace and spiritual nourishment.

8. Arrive 10 minutes early to prepare yourself to receive the Spirit.

[Dravin]

However - about sleeping, when is someone going to invent a little chin shelf so your head doesn't keep dropping and waking you up?

Just get one of these:

[Moksha]

I assume the Church has a reason for making it's meetings as boring as possible but I am not sure what it is.

I wonder if some of the reason is that most members have not made the pilgrimage of discovery you sought and as a result might view services as needing always to be sedate and homogeneous.

[Snow]

Just get one of these:

I need something that pops up from under the collar and over the tie that is barely detectable.

[Snow]

I wonder if some of the reason is that most members have not made the pilgrimage of discovery you sought and as a result might view services as needing always to be sedate and homogeneous.

It's cuz we're a bunch of soulless sheep waiting to be herded - at least that's what I heard.

Edited July 22, 2010 by Snow

[beckysoup61]

Did you ever think it just might be because some of the meetings can actually be boring for some people? I'm not trying to be rude or hurt peoples feelings, but just because she feels it is boring, doesn't it mean it isn't for her. And she isn't wrong for feeling that.

I've been to some boring-as-all-get-up meetings and I've been to some very spiritual ones. Not every meeting is going to be 100% super-happy-spiritual.

[gabelpa]

You need to have your scriptures open and prop your arms up somehow. That way you can sleep with your head looking down at your scriptures. If you orient yourself just right no one will know. That is unless you snore or drool.

[miztrniceguy]

beeps when you start to nod.

http://www.cartuningcentral.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/car-sleep-alert.jpg

[rameumptom]

I agree that each speaker should do their best--but my best is different than the person next to me. Perhaps their best is simply standing there in front of people and formulating complete sentences. There is a responsibility on the congregation as well.

The problem lies with both speaker and listener. We've noted one or two on this thread who have admitted sneaking out to the bathroom to fix their hair in the middle of the speakers. Guess what? This distracts from everyone. When one listener refuses to listen, it affects the Spirit for all.

But the speaker also holds much responsibility. Are they spiritually prepared? How much Spirit can a member bring to a talk, if they've been a lifelong member in their 50s or 60s, but never read the scriptures, except when asked to give a talk? There is no excuse, as one can read, watch or listen to scriptures and General Conference talks today.

It is a tragedy when a lesson on tithing for Gospel Doctrine or RS/PH is taught on a 5 year old level, simply because the instructor's understanding is on a 5 year old level. No one is inspired.

When a convert comes to the podium and nervously share a simple testimony, he/she gives the best one can give. It carries the Spirit of God, even though it is very simple. Older members are expected by God to know the doctrine, the scriptures, and how to seek the Spirit through fasting and praying. When they are lax and do not seek inspiration and power from on high, then their talk/lesson also is lax, without inspiration and power from on high.

Years ago in a Singles Ward in SLC, I saw a General Authority, who was teaching the Singles, step a few paces away from the podium, get down on his knees and beg them to repent of their sins. Can you imagine the intensity in his teaching? The power in his plea? He had given hundreds, and perhaps thousands of similar talks before. But for him, each individual and congregation was in desperate need of repentance and the atoning healing of Christ. I knew he had fully prepared for that talk, pondering and praying for power from on high. And it was felt by the congregation.

We hurt ourselves, because we've often become lukewarm. We are neither hot nor cold in our teaching. Hot and cold are both welcome in teaching, because both cause sensation. Having ice water dumped on you will get you out of bed in the morning. The other day, my grandson squirted me in the back with his super soaker that had laid in the Las Vegas 110 degree sun all day. It caught my attention, as my skin welted red. Lukewarm water does nothing to attract attention. And when we teach without spirit, preparation, inspiration, devotion, and a fullness of heart and desire, we are teaching lukewarm.

When we listen lukewarm, we are not stirring up anything within ourselves, either. We need to listen hot and/or cold.

If we give/get a happy or hell-fire sermon that stirs the soul and moves people to believe, increase in faith, repent, and obey, THEN our teaching and our listening is in tune with the Lord.

Your speech may not be as eloquent as another's, but if it is filled with Spirit and preparation, it will be as well received and as powerful.

[prisonchaplain]

Church can never compete with the golf course, nor with a blissful morning of "lay ministry" (sleeping in). So gimmicks that entertain will bear little long-term fruit. On the other hand those small changes that make things nicer for speakers and listeners are...well...nice. And surely, the best spiritual interaction comes when speaker is hearing from on high, and when listeners are likewise receptive to words from the Almighty.

[Dravin]

I need something that pops up from under the collar and over the tie that is barely detectable.

Maybe PC will loan you one his collars (do they come in extra wide?), you could extra starch it and combined with a fat double Windsor it just might be what you need.

Edited July 22, 2010 by Dravin

[beckysoup61]

When one listener refuses to listen, it affects the Spirit for all.

No offense, but is the Spirit really that fickle? Is the actions of one person really going to make the Spirit leave or change for everyone in that room?n

[Matthew0059]

No offense, but is the Spirit really that fickle? Is the actions of one person really going to make the Spirit leave or change for everyone in that room?n

Yes, the SPIRIT can be that fickle. For example, any unclean person entering the temple defiles the whole temple. I am not aware of the specifics of how it works, and one can definitely feel the SPIRIT while an unclean person is in the general vicinity. However, the impression felt may be weakened or harder to understand.

Ultimately, one's reception to the SPIRIT is a matter of personal worthiness- yet there is a reason the Saints have been told time and time again to get themselves out of "the world".

[beckysoup61]

Yes, the SPIRIT can be that fickle.

So, it's okay to blame one person for the Spirit leaving even if their intentions are good? Didn't know a member of the Godhead was so fickle.

For example, any unclean person entering the temple defiles the whole temple. I am not aware of the specifics of how it works,

I don't think I need to say much here.

and one can definitely feel the SPIRIT while an unclean person is in the general vicinity.

While I believe something similar, I don't use the same terms. I can tell if a person has a good soul or bad soul when they are near me. I don't use the words clean/unclean because using that just dehumanizes the person and tries to rack guilt onto them. Something that isn't healthy for anyone.