Wondering who's at the wheel..major frustration

[yorkiebeebs]

I have a 16yr old granddaughter who was trying to find a dress to go to the homecoming dance. She finally had to call her mother and have her come down so she could see for herself what the choices were.

Every dress on the rack was shockingly revealing. My granddaughter is well endowed and the tops were shocking and the length was very short.

What are we trying to do to this generation. How can buyers for the stores not be a little more responsible.

They finally chose the less of the evils and she wore thick tights under the dress and a little sweater to help with the top. I didn't see her myself but what is going on. Everyday that I see her after school I notice that she has multiple layers on because of this.

What are they trying to make of our kids. We live two blocks from the high school and the jr high is about 10 blocks in the other direction and you wouldn't believe what I see everyday.

This is just crazy and wrong to me and I don't know why there isn't an outcry from America about this. It just keeps getting worse and worse.

With the schools so close and having a large family we can see first hand the downward trend of styles.

How do your teens deal with this and try to dress modestly? It seems like the cards are stacked against them.

I wish there was some kind of movement or campaign to have some kind of standards in what the store buyers bring into the stores for our kids. It's getting worse and worse.

[pam]

I agree..But as long as teens and their parents continue to buy the retailers will continue to sell.

[Guest Alana]

I have a brother who just graduated high school. I was looking at his pics on facebook the other day and was looking at the pics from the proms he went to (he went to six of them!). I noticed every single girl he went with had on a modest dress. It seemed to be split down the middle how they did it. Half of them wore little jackets and the other half I couldn't figure it out for a while but then it hit me. They were wearing strapless dresses that they sewed sleeves onto. It looked great! I don't want to post their pic without their permission, but here are a few links that kind of show how they did it.

http://www-static.weddingbee.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/z798917.jpg

http://bios.weddingbee.com/pics/78947/justin.jpg

I can't tell you how great it is to here my brother, who the girls seem to love, tell our little sister how 'modest is hottest.'

[yorkiebeebs]

I agree..But as long as teens and their parents continue to buy the retailers will continue to sell.

They have to buy from what's available unless they have the talent to sew for themselves (which most do not).

I don't think most even think about it, they just buy from the rack.

[ADoyle90815]

Unfortunately, it's what's available, so either someone would have to sew or wear something like a jacket of some type if they value modesty. One thing that would create a big demand for modest dresses is if school dress codes were applied more strictly at dances sponsored by the school.

[tubaloth]

thats what the internet is for

ModestProm.com | Stores for Modest prom dresses

[Just_A_Guy]

Can one really buy a dress without trying it on first?

[Dravin]

Can one really buy a dress without trying it on first?

I won't even buy shoes or jeans over the internet. I suppose one could get one's measurments taken by a professional and then send them to an online store before purchase (or get it altered after).

[yorkiebeebs]

I went to that website and looked at the dresses and there isn't anyone that I know who can afford to buy one at those prices. You really need to try them on anyway.

[Guest]

Guys - STORES ARE NOT CHURCHES.

They don't dictate morality. They are there to make money. Why would a store sell pantaloons when people want daisy dukes? Sure, a store could say, okay, I'm going to be "socially responsible" (whatever that means to them) and sell only "modest" clothes. Then you got the next store over selling ultra-slinky mini-skirts like hotcakes.

Putting LDS-style "modest clothes rules" in public schools is a bad idea. This is not Russia. If you want your kids in an environment that fits your standards, send them to a private one that fits your moral code.

IN THE END - you cannot control what other families standards are. You have your own, they have theirs. If you want them to "see it your way" go send some missionaries over.

[yorkiebeebs]

That is true. It's actually the morals of society that dictate styles.

[Blackmarch]

I have a 16yr old granddaughter who was trying to find a dress to go to the homecoming dance. She finally had to call her mother and have her come down so she could see for herself what the choices were.

Every dress on the rack was shockingly revealing. My granddaughter is well endowed and the tops were shocking and the length was very short.

What are we trying to do to this generation. How can buyers for the stores not be a little more responsible.

They finally chose the less of the evils and she wore thick tights under the dress and a little sweater to help with the top. I didn't see her myself but what is going on. Everyday that I see her after school I notice that she has multiple layers on because of this.

What are they trying to make of our kids. We live two blocks from the high school and the jr high is about 10 blocks in the other direction and you wouldn't believe what I see everyday.

This is just crazy and wrong to me and I don't know why there isn't an outcry from America about this. It just keeps getting worse and worse.

With the schools so close and having a large family we can see first hand the downward trend of styles.

How do your teens deal with this and try to dress modestly? It seems like the cards are stacked against them.

I wish there was some kind of movement or campaign to have some kind of standards in what the store buyers bring into the stores for our kids. It's getting worse and worse.

I've seen some counter trend sales pop up once in awhile in the news, but they tend to be small local things... so there has been some out cries.. just not enough to sweep the major trends yet.

[yorkiebeebs]

I noticed at Costco this summer they were selling modest swimsuits. I don't remember the brand name but it was something like modbod. I was encouraged to see at least some attempt to provide an option for a woman who wants to be a good role model for her teen daughter or other young ladies on the beach. God bless them and may their business prosper.

[zippy_do46]

I guess, we are going to have to go back to the basics. Ask the Relief Society President to have a class on a make-over. Get the mothers and daughters together and work on the project :) The other mothers will help your cause :) and daughters will give her something to cry to when you change the dress :))) Others in your Wards or Branches may have the same problem. You never know, there might just be a sister that can help you all make the changes.

Edited October 19, 2010 by zippy_do46

[Wingnut]

Can one really buy a dress without trying it on first?

I bought my wedding dress online. I bought it from one of those modest dress websites that caters to the outside-801-LDS demographic. I found that most of the sites that sell wedding and prom type dresses have a policy where you can keep the dress for 48 hours, and if it doesn't fit or won't work, return it without a restocking fee, and without having to pay shipping. That gives you an opportunity to visit a seamstress to assess tailoring needs. I ended up going with the second dress I bought.

I guess, we are going to have to go back to the basics. Ask the Relief Society President to have a class on a make-over. Get the mothers and daughters together and work on the project :) The other mothers will help your cause :) and daughters will give her something to cry to when you change the dress :))) Others in your Wards or Branches may have the same problem. You never know, there might just be a sister that can help you all make the changes.

That's a nice thought, but small groups of Mormons aren't going to effect worldwide (or even nationwide) fashion changes. The best we can do is find resources for our own needs, or become our own resources, and teach our daughters about modesty. That's what we've done for years, and it seems to be working pretty well for us.

[Soulsearcher]

Reminds me of going shopping with my lil girl. She's very aware of what's modest and what's not, and she used to comment and rant about how horrible it was that she couldn't find modest clothes. Over time she started to look at it a little different and now going shopping with her is fun. She has set stores she'll go to, we'll usually hit them all on the first loop and when she's compared everything we go back and she starts making outfits. Layers, certain things that go together to look more modest. By the end of the shopping trip(2-3 hours at most, which is fine cause i love time with her and we chat as we shop) she usually has a full closet and all modest either standalone or as outfits. For dresses she's done the "store bought with additions" or she's made her own because she was determined to be modest and knew if she wasn't willing to do it herself she couldn't really complain. She started this about 13 and now at 17 she's a whiz at modest clothes.

[Bini]

It's been awhile since I've gone to prom but we wore full gowns like those that bridesmaids wear at weddings. Here and there you'd find some with spaghetti straps but all in all they were pretty modest. I recall most girls wearing shawls or cardigans over strapless or spaghetti strap dresses. Now, wearing a gown to prom is totally uncool! It's all about short, body-huggin' and plunging neckline cocktail dresses. Which, if a grown woman wants to wear that, so be it. But for kids in high school, I believe such attire is inappropriate for a school event. But not everyone values LDS dress code and even then, not all LDS share the same opinion when it comes to what is modest and what isn't.

[mightynancy]

I am SO glad I can sew. :) My daughter is 9, and she already knows that when it's time for her to attend formals, she can design a dress for me to make, or we can go shopping in the 801.

[zippy_do46]

I mean a make over for dressses that you find on the rack to bring them up to our standards :) Sorry about that. We once a a Family Enrichment Meeting over this. (I know it is not named that anymore :)

[ZappBrannigan]

It is not only a problem with formal dresses, anyone look at the little girl's clothing at walmart, target, jc pennnys, macys etc?

I have a 9 year old daughter who is one of the most spiritual children I have ever met. Not only does she know what the standards are, she tells her friends (member and nonmember) if they are wearing immodest clothing.

We were watching John Bytheway's standards night dvd, and he was going over the standard for earrings, which is that woman should only wear one pair of moddest earrings. She looked up at me and asked "Daddy, do you think my earrings are modest?"

[Tarnished]

I guess, we are going to have to go back to the basics. Ask the Relief Society President to have a class on a make-over. Get the mothers and daughters together and work on the project :) The other mothers will help your cause :) and daughters will give her something to cry to when you change the dress :))) Others in your Wards or Branches may have the same problem. You never know, there might just be a sister that can help you all make the changes.

My mother's Relief Society had a Relief Society Meeting on Make-overs, they had some of the Young Women come in and tell the adult Sisters what were modest outfits and what were not and how to put together a modest outfit out of something that started off immodest, like a tank top. What I found funny was that the girls then told the older women what style of jeans they could wear and at what age they could no longer wear "Skinny Jeans". It was quite amusing.

I think it was good though because it made those Young Women really look at modesty and how to make what they wear more modest.