Blackmarch Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Backroads said: But part of sex IS exciting the spouse.Frankly, I'd be offended if my husband did not like my body.absolutely, but I'm not going to be the type of person thats going to want that sort of thing to improve the relation or situation in any way. Especially if it could result in any possible self esteem misperceptions. In other words if my spouse wants to wear such or not its not going to matter to me either way, nor is it going to change how I see her.I'd also be very cautious about the "spice things up" route as well. Quote
Vort Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Backroads said: But part of sex IS exciting the spouse.Frankly, I'd be offended if my husband did not like my body.Clearly, you have not read GB-UK's posts, wherein he details that you are wrong. Men aren't interested in the female body. That's just an old wive's tale, or the domain of slavering sex fiends. Quote
Backroads Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Blackmarch said: absolutely, but I'm not going to be the type of person thats going to want that sort of thing to improve the relation or situation in any way. Especially if it could result in any possible self esteem misperceptions. In other words if my spouse wants to wear such or not its not going to matter to me either way, nor is it going to change how I see her.I'd also be very cautious about the "spice things up" route as well.So if I'm reading you right, you are not against lingerie/being attractive persay, but are against certain things being a requirement to intimancy, as in "wear this piece/do this or I don't want you." Is that what you're talking about?If so, I would definitely agree with you.But there is something to be said more a mutual attempt to please each other.Caution is always advisable, but in itself there is nothing wrong with spicing things up. Quote
bonanzafan Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 the three s's of appropriate times to remove garments: sex swimming sports talk to your bishop if you have questions on specifics for this Quote
Jennarator Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 bonanzafan said: the three s's of appropriate times to remove garments:sexswimmingsportstalk to your bishop if you have questions on specifics for this4 S's don't forget showers! Quote
Vort Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Jennarator said: bonanzafan said: the three s's of appropriate times to remove garments:sexswimmingsportstalk to your bishop if you have questions on specifics for this4 S's don't forget showers! 5 S's: Singing on American Idol.Oh, wait, that was So You Think You Can Dance?, wasn't it? Never mind. Quote
Jennarator Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 6 S's serving others at Hooters.....wait wrong thread... Quote
rameumptom Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 bonanzafan said: the three s's of appropriate times to remove garments:sexswimmingsportsFive S's: you forget Streaking. Never a good thing to streak in your garments.... Quote
Jennarator Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 rameumptom said: Five S's: you forget Streaking. Never a good thing to streak in your garments....Come on, wouldn't this be considered a sport? Or should we start another thread to decide? Quote
Backroads Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Jennarator said: 4 S's don't forget showers! But it saves water/energy rather than tossing the garments in the washing machine... Quote
JThimm88 Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 Dravin said: There was a thread about that here not to incredibly long ago and while I don't know if the sentiment was the same as those you hear the above from the idea was they wanted something kinda cute to wear as a night gown (aka pajamas) not so much as lingerie. If one wants some everyday pajamas that are flattering it's a different ball game (in my mind at least) than something that is the start of intimacy.That was probably my thread -- I had written asking more about nightgowns that were a little bit on the cuter side (something silky, perhaps, that I could wear to bed and still covered the garments). Or at least that was what I had been trying to get at. Probably didn't come out that way though! Quote
Dravin Posted June 6, 2011 Report Posted June 6, 2011 (edited) JThimm88 said: Probably didn't come out that way though!From what I recall (yes, I know, I could just reread the thread), it took some explanation on your part to communicate what you actually wanted. Edited June 6, 2011 by Dravin Quote
Blackmarch Posted June 7, 2011 Report Posted June 7, 2011 Backroads said: So if I'm reading you right, you are not against lingerie/being attractive persay, but are against certain things being a requirement to intimancy, as in "wear this piece/do this or I don't want you." Is that what you're talking about?If so, I would definitely agree with you.yup, pretty much covers it. Quote But there is something to be said more a mutual attempt to please each other.Caution is always advisable, but in itself there is nothing wrong with spicing things up.I agree. However I've also seen enough stories and been around enough people who've gone down the wrong roads that started with something simple and seemingly innocent, to not be very wary. Quote
Backroads Posted June 7, 2011 Report Posted June 7, 2011 Blackmarch said: I agree. However I've also seen enough stories and been around enough people who've gone down the wrong roads that started with something simple and seemingly innocent, to not be very wary.So where is the line drawn between cold-hearted procreation-focused, missionary-style only and getting way too extreme? Quote
Guest momabear Posted June 7, 2011 Posted June 7, 2011 · Hidden Hidden I've experienced something that isn't focusing on making a baby and isn't focusing on sex for sex sake. It doesn't have anything to do with the worlds view of porn-like woman as objects, find new ways to keep exciting, and so it didn't have to have a line drawn, it was completely different. it is amazing, i don't know what to call it but love in physical form. I used to think as a younger person that sex was something like in the movies and when I was inactive and It left me sad, because I am not always going to young, something could happen to my body, and then where would I be! I am happy to know that their is something that doesn't depend on my looks and age etc.. I had the same question about lingerie when I first went to the Temple and my mom told me pretty much what I just said and I thought she was stupid and didn't know anything about being young and in love and sex and now I realize how naive I was! me and my husband aren't really interested in lingerie anymore. This is better
Dravin Posted June 7, 2011 Report Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) I've read your post several times and each time it's incomprehensible.Edit: I really need to get in the habit of quoting such posts for when people go an delete them leaving only Mods aware that a post used to be there. Edited June 10, 2011 by Dravin Quote
Guest momabear Posted June 7, 2011 Report Posted June 7, 2011 Backroads said: So where is the line drawn between cold-hearted procreation-focused, missionary-style only and getting way too extreme?Focus on loving your spouse and not on anything else is what I think it is. Who needs lingerie when you are really in love. it would be more of an inconvenience at that point. Nothing would get weird either because why would you want someone you were madly in love with to do anything weird? That's for people who aren't I guess. Quote
sweetiepie Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 Why are we all thinking that lingerie is somehow bad or leads to "weird" things? Some women like them, some don't. My husband and I don't use them all the time; you know how when you make love there are different "moods" that they follow? The "I love you" kind that is sweet and loving and you just need each other, sometimes you just want skin to skin, and then there's "i want you" kind where I want to feel extra sexy and I put something on. He appreciates it, and tells me so. Quote
slamjet Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 One woman I knew described lingerie as her thank you card to her husband. Quote
Backroads Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 slamjet said: One woman I knew described lingerie as her thank you card to her husband. sweetiepie said: Why are we all thinking that lingerie is somehow bad or leads to "weird" things? Some women like them, some don't. My husband and I don't use them all the time; you know how when you make love there are different "moods" that they follow? The "I love you" kind that is sweet and loving and you just need each other, sometimes you just want skin to skin, and then there's "i want you" kind where I want to feel extra sexy and I put something on. He appreciates it, and tells me so.I agree with both of these.While I can see why anything could get weird of you headed in that direction, there's nothing wrong with having a bit of fun or feeling pretty or being sexy or any of that. Quote
RipplecutBuddha Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 the only statement I recall about any of this regarding intimacy in a marriage is "What happens between a husband and wife in the privacy of their own home is between the two of them and the Lord." pertaining to this thread, there is no specific scriptural explanation, nor can I envision any GA stepping forward to draw the hard lines for us. The point of intimacy is to strengthen and maintain the bond between husband and wife. So long as intimate activities do so, it's all good. Quote
beefche Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 Can you imagine a GA publically endorsing lingerie? "Victoria's Secret is approved! However, Tasty's is not approved." LOL! Quote
RipplecutBuddha Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 the tricky part would be the flannel board lessons.....what, too far?? Quote
slamjet Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 Backroads said: So where is the line drawn between cold-hearted procreation-focused, missionary-style only and getting way too extreme? Quote
Backroads Posted June 8, 2011 Report Posted June 8, 2011 beefche said: Can you imagine a GA publically endorsing lingerie? "Victoria's Secret is approved! However, Tasty's is not approved." LOL!Maybe all those Mormon-themed clothing stores could start their own lines... Quote
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