Accidentally found an old post from my son

[classylady]

Oh my word! I'm still a little in shock. I was reading through some old threads and I came across a post I'm 99.9% sure is from my son. He started a thread about having marriage problems with his wife, and everything he said fits he and his wife to a "T"--plus his user name is his first name with the initial of his last name. His first name is quite unusual. The post is several years old.

Should I mention to him that I read his post? The problem he talked about isn't anything new. I was already aware of their problem/s. But the post was a little more personal than what has been confided to the family. Plus, some of the advice he was given was to get the book "The Five Love Languages", which I know he and his wife did end up getting, and they eventually gave it to me to read. What do you think? Mention it to him? I don't think he would get embarrassed. That was the only thread he has been on. Or should I update the post, letting people know how they're doing? But, I don't know if I want to do that because that would tie me to that post and some of my own anonymity would be gone. What do you think?

[beefche]

No and no.

[slamjet]

I second that motion.

If they did patch things up he may not want to go backwards and relive any of it. Plus if his wife didn't know, it might start up some new or old difficulties that they may have worked through, but rekindled.

Read it and leave it. The post has served it's purpose.

[skippy740]

I agree that the post has served its purpose. You've also learned that we (forum members) can do a rather decent job in helping folks that come here.

Rhetorical question: What purpose or objective would be served by mentioning the post to him? I just don't see how it can do any good, in any way, for any one.

It's kinda like a hospital telling a parent 16 years too late that they switched their kid at birth. What would be the point? What's done is done and nothing but trouble would come of it.

[applepansy]

Absolutely not!

If I was in your place I might even consider asking a moderator to delete this thread, considering he's a member here.

[skippy740]

Or at least edit the original post of some of the key details.

[NeuroTypical]

I was reading through some old threads and I came across a post I'm 99.9% sure is from my son.

...

Should I mention to him that I read his post?

...

Or should I update the post, letting people know how they're doing?

...

What do you think?

If they've asked you to insert yourself into this issue, then act as you see fit. If they have not (or haven't talked about it in a while) then you would be well advised to stay out of it. Walk away. Put it out of your mind. Let your son live his life.

[classylady]

I've been doing some more thinking. When I first posted this, I hadn't thought it through, and I was still in a semi-state of shock. And skippy740, you are absolutely correct that the forum members really do a good job in helping people. There were a number of pages of advice offered him, and it was all spot on. It sounds like he listened to it. No marriage is perfect, but they have been working on theirs, and they have found ways to compromise and make their marriage work for them. The question he had was one that both he and his wife had talked to me about. So, I knew what was going on with them--no secret there--just typical newlywed problems with young children, and learning how to deal with each other's issues. I'm not going to tell him that I found his thread.

Plus, this has been a really good lesson to me. Anything we post on this site (or other internet site) can be read by anyone. If too much personal information is included in any thread, it could be the means of someone finding out who you are. Just be aware that what you thought was anonymous and private, may not necessarily be the case if too much information is made available to others.

[pam]

Absolutely not!

If I was in your place I might even consider asking a moderator to delete this thread, considering he's a member here.

If the thread is several years old, it's a really good chance he hasn't been to this site in several years. People come and go all the time. Then there's people like me and PC and PaleRider and a few others you just can't get rid of.

[BenRaines]

What Pam meant to say is she is an "Old-Timer" Very Old Timer. :)

BenRaines

[pam]

What Pam meant to say is she is an "Old-Timer" Very Old Timer. :)

BenRaines

Quit putting words in my mouth Ben Raines. Remember YOU are older than ME!!!

[Vort]

What Pam meant to say is she is an "Old-Timer" Very Old Timer. :)

And old timer? You mean like this?

[classylady]

There were definitely some old timers on his post--Loudmouth, MorningStar, Iggy, Ruthiechan, just to name a few. I recognized some of the other names too. Others I've never heard of. Like Pam says, people come and go. And I don't think my son has been back on. Of course you never know. When I look at his info it says he has only had 2 posts. And that would be his original question, and then he posted once on the same thread.

The internet and forums such as this have made the world "smaller". What I mean by that, is that people all over the world can have a little glimpse of your own personal life. They enter in for a short time, reading or commenting on your questions, struggles, and trials. They might "laugh" at something you may say. For the most part, (here on this forum at least) it is somewhat anonymous. But then, someone may come on, that knows you personally, and depending on what you've posted, they then may know some of your most personal thoughts and trials--things that you would have kept private. Just a reminder to be careful.