Question about dressing modestly

[robynjeanne]

Hi everyone. I have what I think is a simple question about dressing modestly. I am an almost 55-year-old woman who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. I am also going thru menopause. I get a lot of hot flashes all the time. I just cannot stand being hot or even warm for that matter.

My question is this: Would I be considered dressing immodestly if I were to wear shorts or a sleeveless top ONLY in the privacy of my own home and no where else.

My husband and I are fairly new to the church as far as coming back from a very long period of inactivity and have not received our endowments yet so we do not have garments yet.

So I guess I am asking if I would be considered immodest to wear shorts and sleeveless tops only around the house in front of my husband?

Thanks much for your input. It is much appreciated.

[Vort]

I would happily parade around nude in front of my wife all day long if I could, especially if she returned the favor.

Now that that image is stuck in your mind, the point is that it is not immodest to be naked around your spouse. Modesty is mostly irrelevant in marriage, in my opinion.

[NoGreaterLove]

The short answer is, it is fine. The long answer is who can see you and how revealing is the clothing? But as long as it is discreet, you are fine. That changes however after you go through the temple because of sacred covenants you will make.

[robynjeanne]

Thanks for your answers. NoGreater...in answer to your questions, my husband is the only one and as far as how revealing...not much, say a sleeveless blouse so the shoulders at best!! Are you saying that ONLY in my own home in front of only my husband I would not be able to wear a sleeveless blouse after having gone thru the temple? Just want to make sure I am understanding this.

Thanks!

[Dravin]

Thanks for your answers. NoGreater...in answer to your questions, my husband is the only one and as far as how revealing...not much, say a sleeveless blouse so the shoulders at best!! Are you saying that ONLY in my own home in front of only my husband I would not be able to wear a sleeveless blouse after having gone thru the temple? Just want to make sure I am understanding this.

Thanks!

IMHO, It'd look 'funny' but nothing would prevent you from wearing the sleeveless blouse in your house as long as you aren't shucking the garment to do so. Personally I have no problem with wandering around the house only in my garments (presuming I'm alone, or it's just my wife there with me).

P.S. Wearing or not wearing your garments isn't a modesty issue, it's a wearing them in accordance with instruction issue. Though the two could happen concurrently (taking off your garments so you can wear immodest clothing for example).

[Guest mysticmorini]

Personally I have no problem with wandering around the house only in my garments (presuming I'm alone, or it's just my wife there with me).

I hope you don't do that with the mesh ones, thats a little kinky.

[Vort]

I hope you don't do that with the mesh ones, thats a little kinky.

How so?

[Dravin]

I hope you don't do that with the mesh ones, thats a little kinky.

Actually I do, all my garments are nylon mesh.

How so?

I guess married people seeing each other's skin is kinky?

Edited September 9, 2011 by Dravin

[Guest mysticmorini]

kinky

- sexually provocative, intended to be provocative or sexually alluring, usually by being deliberately unusual or bizarre

-behaving in an unusual, idiosyncratic way

[Dravin]

- sexually provocative,

Nope.

intended to be provocative or sexually alluring, , usually by being deliberately unusual or bizarre

Nope.

-behaving in an unusual, idiosyncratic way

Trickier, depends how usual it is for people in this country to not bother with more than underwear in similar situations. Of course if it is unusual, mesh wouldn't be any more idiosyncratic or unusual than drilux or cotton poly.

Edited September 9, 2011 by Dravin

[Vort]

kinky

- sexually provocative, intended to be provocative or sexually alluring, usually by being deliberately unusual or bizarre

-behaving in an unusual, idiosyncratic way

I'm all for sexual provocation within a marriage, but I must confess I laughed at the idea that mesh garments are "provocative". "Oh, baby, when I see you in that mesh underwear, it awakens the raging beast within!"

[Guest mysticmorini]

Of course if it is unusual, mesh wouldn't be any more idiosyncratic or unusual than drilux or cotton poly.

You don't think mesh is unusual?

[beefche]

It's kinky to be sexually provocative to your spouse? Huh?

[Dravin]

You don't think mesh is unusual?

No more so than Drilux or garments in general. But really, you're getting into a place where having a personalized licence plate or naming your child Ruthgar is kinky.

Edited September 9, 2011 by Dravin

[MarginOfError]

I'm sure there will be plenty of people that disagree with me, but if I'm at home and uncomfortable in what I'm wearing, I will change into something comfortable.

If it's 95 degrees in my house, I'm probably going to take my garments off, too. Thanks to air conditioning, I rarely face that decision.

My point is, if you're going through menopause and having unbearable hot flashes, make yourself comfortable. When you're in the confines of your own home, 'modesty' isn't a big deal. Remember that modesty is about dressing, behaving, and thinking in ways the uplift and enlighten the soul. There is absolutely nothing uplifting about suffering.

[Guest mysticmorini]

fair enough

[Dravin]

I'm sure there will be plenty of people that disagree with me, but if I'm at home and uncomfortable in what I'm wearing, I will change into something comfortable.

If it's 95 degrees in my house, I'm probably going to take my garments off, too. Thanks to air conditioning, I rarely face that decision.

My point is, if you're going through menopause and having unbearable hot flashes, make yourself comfortable. When you're in the confines of your own home, 'modesty' isn't a big deal. Remember that modesty is about dressing, behaving, and thinking in ways the uplift and enlighten the soul. There is absolutely nothing uplifting about suffering.

I suppose I should have clarified that shucking the garment was an IMHO. How you wear your garments and my business as the lines to be drawn within the instruction given is between you, spouse*, God, and if/when applicable priesthood leadership.

* Some may disagree with this one.

Edited September 9, 2011 by Dravin

[Bini]

I see no big deal. Especially, inside your home. If I'm hot, I'm taking it all off.

[pam]

It's kinky to be sexually provocative to your spouse? Huh?

He defined it in this way:

kinky

- sexually provocative, intended to be provocative or sexually alluring, usually by being deliberately unusual or bizarre

-behaving in an unusual, idiosyncratic way

[Backroads]

I hope you don't do that with the mesh ones, thats a little kinky.

I did laugh at this. The first thing I thought of was the media-stereotyped association of mesh with flamboyant gays. If this was inappropriate, I apologize.

[Backroads]

To the OP: Since you have not received your endowments, there is really nothing to cover up. Be comfortable and be happy. Especially in your own home.

Once you are wearing garments, I see nothing wrong just lounging around in those, if its only your spouse around.

I don't fault those who would take EVERYTHING off in case of too much heat as long as you aren't using it as an excuse to take off the garment.

[ADoyle90815]

In my non-LDS opinion, what you do in the privacy of your bedroom in front of your spouse isn't an issue. As far as underwear goes, all I know is that I'm sensitive and can only wear cotton in order to prevent health issues.

[dahlia]

OP - if you are having hot flash problems, and are otherwise healthy (no history of breast cancer), you might want to consider taking hormones. The new hormone therapy is meant to relieve symptoms of menopause; there is no reason for you to suffer. You don't take them forever, just until the symptoms like night sweats or hot sweats have gone. They changed my life

[RMGuy]

What do you consider to be modestly? What are the ramifications of wearing what you will?

For me there is appropriate and inappropriate dress based on the circumstances. I would no more wear a winter coat in the summer than I would shorts in the winter. I also would not wear my shorts to sacrament meeting, but I more than happy to welcome someone that does.

I've been known to wear sandels to church on occasion, after all the Saviour did too. At the end of the day you need to be comfortable: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually with your choice. If you can honestly say that you are, then I don't know that we are here to tell you that you are wrong.

-RM