I am the worlds worst communicater.

[jerome1232]

Seeing this made me think of a post I saw an facebook, for some reason attaching the image failed so....

It's an image of a note stuck to a fridge that reads:

To the food stealers,

It has been about a month now since my brownies started disappearing randomly. Even though my name was on the tub. My husband helped my 9yo daughter bake them for me, so I hope you enjoyed them as much as I couldn't. My previous fridge notes fell on deaf ears, so I decided to take more direct action.

So I made an anonymous report to HR. Something about culture of drug use and the potential liability to the company blah blah. That is why we all had to do a random drug screen yesterday.

And did I forget to mention that for the last two weeks I have been spiking the brownies with marijuana? Not much, not enough to give you a buzz. Just enough to show up on a drug screen.

CHECKMATE

(note, I am not suggesting you try this approach )

Edited November 10, 2011 by jerome1232

[lizzy16]

I'm not even sure where to get marijuana let alone who i'd call on campus to report it.

But thanks...

that was funny in a twisted way :)

[Jennarator]

I'm not even sure where to get marijuana let alone who i'd call on campus to report it.

But thanks...

that was funny in a twisted way :)

Campus police. Wait....all campuses I have been to have campus police, except I don't know about BYU-I.....hmmm......I would think they would. Good thing you don't really have to worry about it, I might have sent you to the wrong place.

[Jennarator]

So Lizzy, have you got the courage yet? Did you talk to the roomies?

[Just_A_Guy]

Hey--it could be worse!

(Couldn't it?)

[lizzy16]

So, I'm such a chicken.

I labeled all my food and made a sign. And, when people talked to me I just said "I think it would work better for me this way. And, it seems like everyone else is into labeling so I thought i'd try it."

As I walked out to go to a friends one of my roommates said, "Well, i'm going to go see how i'm going to survive this semester' or something similar to it.

And, another one of my roommates has pulled me aside saying i'm acting very 'unlizish." and asking me if I'm depressed ect.

I blamed it on my period. (Which could be partly it and I'm not even realizing it.)

[Dravin]

I blamed it on my period. (Which could be partly it and I'm not even realizing it.)

It would probably be better to tell them to truth rather than to blame it on your physiology.

[Jennarator]

So, I'm such a chicken.

I labeled all my food and made a sign. And, when people talked to me I just said "I think it would work better for me this way. And, it seems like everyone else is into labeling so I thought i'd try it."

As I walked out to go to a friends one of my roommates said, "Well, i'm going to go see how i'm going to survive this semester' or something similar to it.

And, another one of my roommates has pulled me aside saying i'm acting very 'unlizish." and asking me if I'm depressed ect.

I blamed it on my period. (Which could be partly it and I'm not even realizing it.)

It IS VERY hard to have that kind of a talk with the roomates. I can see being chicken, however, if you get the guts to do it, it can teach you to have difficult discussions later. Like when dating or married, other roomates, things like that. I know you are not, now, but not talking can lead to passive agressive behavior.

[Guest]

They say you're not acting Liz-like, they mean that you're not letting them walk all over you any more. You never agreed to subsidize your roommate's education. She'll figure it out like everyone else has to. The others haven't contributed. You are being fair. They just don't want the gravy train to end. Pun intended. Be kind and straightforward, then follow through. It will be so good for all of you!

[Vort]

Every time I see this thread title, I think of something like this:

[Vort]

I blamed it on my period.

I can tell you from personal experience that this is a bad idea. I tried it on my mission once, and my companion just looked at me funny and then requested a transfer.

[RMGuy]

I didn't read the entire thread, so perhaps someone else has already suggested it. Perhaps you want to bake a nice plate of brownies.....with exlax.

-RM

[lizzy16]

Rm, thats a bit too extreme considiring the circumstances. Liz.

[Jennarator]

I can tell you from personal experience that this is a bad idea. I tried it on my mission once, and my companion just looked at me funny and then requested a transfer.

was this the look? Or more like

[jerome1232]

Isn't vort male?

[Jennarator]

Isn't vort male?

Thus funny look and request for the transfer.

[lizzy16]

Jerome,

That was kind of the point.

Liz.

[Dravin]

I didn't read the entire thread, so perhaps someone else has already suggested it. Perhaps you want to bake a nice plate of brownies.....with exlax.

-RM

Maybe for coworkers but probably not with roommates, particularly if it is your turn to clean the bathroom.

[lizzy16]

Maybe for coworkers but probably not with roommates, particularly if it is your turn to clean the bathroom.

The bathrooms always my job.

[Guest]

The bathrooms always my job.

Oh honey, you've got to stick up for yourself! They're not just using you as a doormat, they're scraping their boots!

[annewandering]

I am not very proud of your roommates. A bunch of selfish bullies it seems like to me. Liz you deserve more. Like being treated with respect. They seem to be a bunch of user-losers.

It is hard to step out of the role that has been carved out for you but its time to do it. They are not going to be happy about it and probably will fight it every step but its going to be worth it.

[beefche]

Now, wait a minute. I think it's a little premature to call her roommates bullies or that they are scraping their boots on Lizzy. Lizzy seems to be too timid to speak up for herself. Remember, these are all girls who are very young and inexperienced. Most likely come from homes where mom did all the work. As with any kids, they will try to get away with as much as they can--and it's pretty easy to do with a timid roommate. I'm not saying it's right, but try to remember these are all 18 y/o girls.

Lizzy, it sounds like you honestly need to instigate a roommate discussion. Don't do it in frustration or anger. Just say that you think it's a good idea now to meet again as roomies to go over and perfect some rules. You've all had some time now to live with each other and can now all see some areas where each can improve. Then once ya'll meet, discuss specifics--who/how often will clean kitchen, bathrooms, living areas, divide up food, cook meals, pay bills, lights off, quiet time, whatever it is that each of you think is important to discuss and come to agreement on. Remember to try to be as specific as possible--if it is agreed that a rotation schedule will be done to clean the bathroom, then decide how often the rotation will occur, what happens if the one responsible is sick and can't, etc.

BTW, as a timid person, you are not making waves or going to cause problems by doing this. This is part of being mature and adult. No matter the living situation (roommates, husband, family) these things need to be discussed openly. As long as anger and frustrations don't come out, then it's a mature discussion. If anger begins to creep in, then it's time to be the peacemaker and say that it's ok to get frustrated, but that's why it needs to be discussed--to try to remove any frustrations and keep friendships.

[lizzy16]

Oh, I volunteered to do the bathroom. And, I wanna keep it that way. It's so easy! The living room and kitchen are always way more messy. I just sweep, clean the counter and empty the garbage. Easy!

We clean every thursday before clean check. And, every four days we roatate who does dishes. The cleaning is very fair....well for me. Personally I think i'm getting the upside of that whole thing :)

[jerome1232]

Jerome,

That was kind of the point.

Liz.

I honestly wasn't sure, I'll just crawl back into my box now.

[Backroads]

jerome, you have lost your box priviledges. Face up!

to Lizzy...

The subtle way probably won't work. It almost looks like you don't trust them (which you might not). But it would still be better to come forward and say you did not understand the full meaning of food sharing at the time and would now prefer to <insert new regulation on food>. Keep in mind that it is still your food so you cannot be pressured into staying with the original deal, but try to be respectful of the original deal as much as you can. Bring up that you assumed they would also be doing their own grocery shopping.

As for the roommate that cannot get through the semester, well, she has options. Mom and Dad. Getting a job. Ramen. Heck, maybe she could trade extra chores or something for a share of other roommate's food. If all fails, I'm sure the bishop could help out.