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Chrissy3818

Not sure if it's a sign from God or not

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:confused::confused::confused:

Okay, so when my boyfriend first asked me out I got a sickening feeling that I shouldn't go out with him, and I got sick so I had to post pone. I ignored that feeling and went out with him later on in the week. (not sure if it was Satan or God)

When we talked about marriage I prayed and asked go if he was the one, first time I think it was a yes, but the second time I asked It was a burning "NO" and I got sad and depressed. (not sure if it was Satan or God).

Later on, I actually had one or two dreams about us breaking up. (not sure if this is a sign or not)...

He left somewhere to where we could only write two each other and after two letters he stopped writing and it's now been four months since he's written me. (another sign were not meant to be??)

Now I get a feeling he is the one (but I no longer want him to be the one) (not sure if it was Satan or God).

what do you think, because I am not sure what's going on...

Edited by Chrissy3818

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1. When deeply in doubt, trust your gut.

2. Never seek after signs. Doing so will invariably destroy you.

3. We here in Internet-land have absolutely no idea what you should do. That decision is yours.

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I think this missionary needs to focus on his work. And you need to focus on other things besides him.

So, my answer is no, it is not a sign from God or Satan. It is a sign that life moves on in ways that we don't always like.

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In reply to Vort: He hurt me pretty bad when he stopped writing for no reason, so I no longer have that desire to marry him and my family says I shouldn't. I feel that someone else is out their that I have to find, but that is what I think, and I rely on God a lot, so these mixed signals are stressing me out and hurting me more...

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In reply to Vort: He hurt me pretty bad when he stopped writing for no reason, so I no longer have that desire to marry him and my family says I shouldn't. I feel that someone else is out their that I have to find, but that is what I think, and I rely on God a lot, so these mixed signals are stressing me out and hurting me more...

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He's just recently on his mission, right? So, regardless if you have a feeling he is the one (which, in my opinion, doesn't exist--there's isn't just "one" for us), he is on a mission. That means by the time he gets off his mission, he will have changed. And hopefully, you will have changed too.

So, what you need to do is focus on other things. Go out with friends, go to school, get a job, go out with other guys, live life. Once he gets off his mission, then you can look him up and see if you two are compatible at that point.

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Okay, so when my boyfriend first asked me out I got a sickening feeling that I shouldn't go out with him, and I got sick so I had to post pone. I ignored that feeling and went out with him later on in the week. (not sure if it was Satan or God)

So you got this gut feeling that made you so sick you couldn't go. Hm. My question is what stopped you from listening to your gut right here at the start?

Not sure what God or Satan was doing, but sounds like your gut was functioning just fine.

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In reply to Misshalfway: My mom said not to worry about it (what would one date do?) and that if I put him off again he would probably get the hint and give up.

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We had a saying on our mission:

If she didn't wait for you, it wasn't meant to be.

If she did wait for you, it meant no one else wanted her. ;)

Seriously, If you are sitting by the phone/mailbox for 2 years waiting for him, it means you are not growing. Right now, the answer is for you to work on you and not worry too much about him. If it is the right thing, then you'll know it when he returns. If not, then the circumstances in your life will lead you in a better path, but only if you are busy working on YOU.

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Question: Why do I get the feeling he is the one I am going to marry, even though I want nothing to do with him?

Okay, so when my boyfriend first asked me out I got a sickening feeling that I shouldn't go out with him, and I got sick so I had to post pone. I ignored that feeling and went out with him later on in the week.

When we talked about marriage I prayed and asked go if he was the one, first time I think it was a yes, but the second time I asked It was a burning "NO" and I got sad and depressed.

Later on, I actually had one or two dreams about us breaking up.

He left somewhere to where we could only write two each other and after two letters he stopped writing and it's now been four months since he's written me.

Now I get a feeling he is the one (but I no longer want him to be the one)

what do you think, because I am not sure what's going on...

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what do you think, because I am not sure what's going on...

I think you should quit waiting for God to tell you what to do, grab the bull by the horns, and take charge of your life. God isn't the one considering marrying your boyfriend; YOU are. So YOU make the decision.

If you were my daughter, I would also suggest to you that you already have mixed and downright bad feelings about being with him, so move on. But you're not my daughter, so I'll just keep that to myself.

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The same advice applies here as it did to your other thread on the same subject....let him go. He is on his mission and that should be his focus. And it sounds like it is.

While he is gone, you need to focus on yourself and (given another of your threads) your own testimony. You should be doing that anyway.

It doesn't sound like you guys dated much before he left. Move forward. Work on your own growth. A lot can change in two years, including the both of you.

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Look at it this way: You have two years to yourself. You have two years to figure out your life. You have two years to FIND yourself. Do you know who you are? Do you know what you want? NOW is your time to figure it out!

I sent a missionary out while I was still a senior in high school. He was the cutest boy in school, I was head over heels, and I told him I would wait for him. I wrote him once a week. I graduated high school, moved into a dorm room, started college, met a TON of new people from all over the world, got into a critical car accident that I walked away from, realized I needed a change of pace, applied for a study abroad program, got in, moved to a different country for three months, and by the time I returned home, I was a completely different person. I was confident, independent, and knew that the boy that I used to be head over heels for did NOT walk on water, was NOT the only boy for me, and life would go on if I did not marry him. I met my husband the same week that missionary got home from his mission. After trying to "start over" with the missionary for two months, it just didn't happen and I realized I wanted to be with the man who is now my husband.

Forget this boy and go find you. You can't find who YOU are supposed to be with until you know who YOU are.

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Remember that there is no "one person" you are supposed to marry. There are no soul mates. You decide who is your soul mate and it make it happen by commitment and love. You have the choice to marry whomever you will.

My suggestion is that you pray to find a good man and then be smart with who you date. Make a list of things you like. Then go out and find him! There won't be a perfect person, or a person that won't make you upset or sad at times, but you choose what you want and what you can live with. When you do desire marriage with someone make a logical decisions based on the facts (including emotional, not all sterile quantifiable information) and go to the Lord for confirmation. Don't expect the lord to choose for you, you are to ask if it is right and he will tell you if it is not. Personally I believe that if you both re faithful members in love that almost always the Lord will confirm to you that what you are doing is right. I agree with Vort - do not seek for signs. If you don't want to marry him you are given you agency. God does not dictate who you will marry. Make your own signs such as "do you have a valid temple recommend and attend it regularly?"

I hope I'm not cynically damaging your idea of courtship, I don't mean to. This may be just my outlook on things though I believe most of it is supported by doctrine and church counsel.

p.s. 19 is still young, you need not feel like you need to get married anytime soon, do it when the desire comes naturally and things feel right.

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