Awkard response at work

[Backroads]

One of my co-worker's lost a child over the weekend. Obviously, she's not in today and our hearts are all broken for her. She had an unofficial meeting (as in, hey, come in sometime on Monday and we will go over all of this) with a volunteer today. He came in, and I talked to him. The only other person capable of helping him out with his pariticular situation is also out of office today. When he demanded to know why she wasn't here, I replied with a vague "family emergency" as I didn't feel it was my place to give the details.

He then responded with "What family emergency is more important than doing your job?", being rather frustrated. I couldn't think of response, so I arranged for him to meet with the other co-worker and left the conversation at that.

Was that the right thing to do? Or should I have gone into more detail about just why Co-worker wasn't able to meet with him? I'd like to know in case I get asked a similar question. I've never been in this position before and am rather flummoxed about what's appropriate and what isn't.

[Vort]

You were right. He's an idiot. If he can't understand "family emergency", he does not deserve to be filled in with the details. Such people are the last that should be entrusted with such sensitive information.

[Bini]

I would say, "A family member passed." And leave it at that. It's perfectly acceptable to disclose that much information, and the details can be filled in by the family, if they so desire.

A friend of mine on Fb passed away a few weeks ago unexpectedly. I went to school with her, had classes with her. It was a shock, despite being out of any real contact with her over a span of ten years. When she died, all I received was a brief message informing me of her passing, along with an obituary link. I wish more details were shared regarding her death but her family chose to remain quiet on that particular issue.

[Wingnut]

You were right. It's none of his business why she's out of the office. The word "emergency" in and of itself denotes "more important than doing your job." It would not have been at all appropriate for you to tell him of your co-worker's personal tragedy.

[Backroads]

Thanks for your thoughts.

I gotta say, I didn't feel comfortable mentioning the death after he asked that question (which I'm sure was rhetorical). Had I been in his place, that would have been the ultimate "open mouth & insert foot" moment.

[pam]

I'm just wondering if you had told him whether it would have softened him at all. I almost don't think so.

[Backroads]

I'm just wondering if you had told him whether it would have softened him at all. I almost don't think so.

I would hope it would, but I also have to wonder about that. I've been in situations myself where I know I should be softened, but I find my ego stuck on what I wanted.

[Guest]

What family emergency is more important than doing your job?

All family emergencies are more important than your job. Or it should be. This is one of the things my husband and I thought about when deciding if I should work or not. I work so that my husband's job can be as disposable as mine... because, if a family emergency ever comes, we wouldn't want to be put in a position where we can't quit our jobs if necessary to deal with it.

[Guest]

I don't know what "awkard" means, but I like it.

[Backroads]

I don't know what "awkard" means, but I like it.

I'm glad. Alas, one of those typos I couldn't fix!

[slamjet]

Reminds me of the time some dude called and demanded to speak with the Regional Manager. Our answer: "We're in the middle of the riot, we're a little busy trying to get out of here alive!"

You just want to tell them to stick their head in a toilet and flush, it might help them think more clearly.

[mirkwood]

I would have bluntly said a family member died, is that good enough for you. But that's me.

[NeuroTypical]

he demanded to know why she wasn't here, I replied with a vague "family emergency"

He then responded with "What family emergency is more important than doing your job?"

Oh, that's an easy one*. You start out in a conversational tone, and just slightly increase your volume, increase your height, and decrease the space between you every couple words: "Well, here's a partial list: divorce, homicide, imprisonment, attempted suicide, emergency surgery, car accident, actual suicide, driving someone to the ER after they fell off a ladder, death, heart attack, stroke, life threatening allergic reaction, tornado, earthquake, lightning strike, a child with a temperature of 105, and accidental electrocution! Just To Name A Few! Now, Do You Wanna Sit Here And Play 20 Freaking Questions With Me To Guess At Which One It Was, OR DO YOU FEEL LIKE A BIG ENOUGH MORON YET? HUH? HUH?!?!!!??"

[if you do it right, he should be actively taking steps backward near the end there.]

*Actually, last Sunday was the lesson on kindness, so I guess it isn't so easy after all. Sigh.

[slamjet]

Dude, this is Utah, not New York.

[Wingnut]

Dude, this is Utah, not New York.

Tell that to the guy Backroads had to deal with.