Backroads Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 So... When I began maternity leave, it was with the total plan of returning to work. Even as I said this, my boss (who is also a family man and a bishop) kept mentioning me wanting to stay with my baby (and even as went as far to say that if I don't return to work, he would keep quiet about the maternity leave I used since I technically hadn't yet earned it). Still, I was "Boss, I'm so returning to work." ... It ain't happening. I can't bare the thought of leaving my baby, she won't take a bottle anyways, and with the amount of money Husband will be making at his training this summer and me staying with my parents (no rent)... we can more than afford it. The official decision was just recently made, and I have not yet been able to inform my boss. My worry is a co-worker I work closely with whose personal life has been pretty much turned upside down, and much of the sorrows happened at about the same time I left on maternity. Chatting with another co-worker today, I learned this woman is quite overwhelmed with everything in her life, personal and work. I sort of hate to leave her practically by herself in the department until we get a new hire. So, I am at a loss at what to do for her. Should I tell her personally I won't be coming back? Let my boss be the one to do this? Arrange to come in for a day and do a bunch of work so she isn't so overwhelmed or train her on stuff I largely handled? Let it be and figure she can handle it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 CAn you go back part time until they hire someone? Few hours a week could really help. About feeding, pump. It works. But if youy do the part time thing set a dead line or they might never get anyone else hired! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 I think part-time would be a great thing to offer! As for pumping, I have been doing that and now have a bunch of frozen milk, but I'm still hunting for a bottle nipple she will take... any advice on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennarator Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 Hmmmm... my kids never had issues with them. I don't know. They took the breast or a bottle. Anyone else have suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 I think part-time would be a great thing to offer! As for pumping, I have been doing that and now have a bunch of frozen milk, but I'm still hunting for a bottle nipple she will take... any advice on that?Not a straight, regular bottle nipple. Get the "natural" kind:I occasionally used expressed milk to nurse them, and they liked this kind of nipple far better than the straight kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 Four out of five of my babies would not take a bottle. I tried every kind of bottle under the sun. The fifth would only take a bottle. Kids will keep you on your toes. When I was working part-time after having my first, I lived 5 minutes from work and my SIL was watching my daughter at my house, so I would drive home to feed the baby. It was a pain but we made it work. If your childcare was close to your office, maybe you could do the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen Posted April 10, 2013 Report Share Posted April 10, 2013 I've looked and looked for the only nipple some of mine would take. I think they stopped making them. It was the playtex brand. The brown laytex ones (not the clear silicone). They have a different texture I found makes a difference. They had one that had a square shaped nipple instead of round and it kinda sunk down into itself, not all rounded up like the ones I'm finding now. I don't know if my description is any good. lol Anyway, if you haven't might want to try the laytex ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applepansy Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 I must have missed the post that announced the birth of your sweet little one. Congratulations! I went back to work after all my babies. If I could do it again I wouldn't go back or only part time. But..... that's me. As women we often get stuck feeling like we have to take care of everyone. I had that attitude and still do. I have a hard time saying no. But by not saying no when appropriate I have damaged my health. In the situation you describe I think you should talk to your Boss. He's the one who should know the issues and he is the one responsible for fixing the problems. I understand your concern for your co-worker but you can't fix her problems. The most you'll be able to do is put a bandaid on it ... and maybe at your expense. When I was young I didn't understand the cumulative effect of not taking care of myself. I thought I could go back to work in 6 weeks and be just fine. I thought I could work and take care of home/family. I thought I could do it all. I was wrong. Be prayerful in making your decision. I wish you all the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadWolf Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) There's also OLD school: Which is either 1 - sucking on a cloth Truly oldschool means using a milk bladder. No need in this age of sports tops on even disposable water bottles. You just rubberband some clean (Muslin, Linnen, etc.) around the top of sports bottle with about an inch or so of "bubble", then squeeze gently to keep the fabric wet with milk. I've actually used my flannel shirt tail at one point/ in a pinch. 2- Straw feeding. Again, truly oldschool is using a hollow reed or bird bone. But since we have "Glad, a family company" (or whatever) any old plastic straw will work. Just unset straw into cup, put your finger over the top, and then release your finger to let the milk flow while its in baby's mouth. ((Ive spent significant time Back of Beyond. When mum has died in childbirth, and there are no nursing mothers, you do what you have to... And finger feeding makes ones fingers very pruny, and takes forever. These 2 age old feeding methods have come in surprisingly handy back in first world land.) \___________ ETA... This doesnt always work, but is worth a shot: With your existing rejected nipples... Rub them on yourself. Sweaty bra band, oily face, etc. Yep, the oils will break them down faster (like they won't get lost by then, really, its a WHILE). The material they're made out of smells & tastes wrong. Adding your own scent to them can make them magically "acceptable". Gross, but effective. Sigh. Like so much of parenting. Edited April 11, 2013 by BadWolf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 You handle it in whatever way is best for you. BTW choosing to stay home is probably the best decision you can make. We did it with #2 and even though our income reduced 50% it was the wisest choice we could have ever made, spiritually and temporally. In fact one of those blessings was the part time job I picked up that has likely set me up for a very good job I can move to after I am eligible for my public safety retirement. Who would have known 12 years ago what just that part of the decision would do for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 I am sorry for your co-worker's troubles, but I agree with ApplePansy that we (women) can't be everything to everyone. Your first responsibility no is your daughter. You want to be with her full-time, our Leaders have counseled us that whenever possible, that is the best choice...so stay home, and enjoy your daughter! Don't try to find a bottle she will take, just enjoy nursing, it goes too quickly as it is. I loved nursing my children, but the last one I was not able to nurse because of medication I was taking (and still take now). I still regret that we didn't have that bonding time together. If you were having a lot of trouble with nursing, I wouldn't bother you about it because that is about you and the baby....but I don't think you should try to get her to take a bottle so that you can go to work when you really don't want to. Perhaps tell your co-worker she can call you for help if she has any questions? Enjoy this time with your baby...it goes so fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wingnut Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 (edited) Backroads, as far as your job goes, you're accountable to your boss, not to your co-worker. If you and the co-worker are good friends outside of work, or likely to still have a fair amount of interaction seeing each other around, then you might want to tell her personally that you're not coming back, just as a courtesy. But you are not responsible to cover her.A brief article I read this past weekend that I enjoyed and by which I was impressed: Drew Barrymore: 'I don't think' women can have it all - NY Daily News Edited April 11, 2013 by Wingnut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rameumptom Posted April 11, 2013 Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 Actually, you do not owe anything to your co-worker. You have your needs and wants, just as she does. She needs to realize (if she doesn't already) that things happen in life for HER to deal with. You need now to focus on your baby, let the business take care of its own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 Not a straight, regular bottle nipple. Get the "natural" kind:I occasionally used expressed milk to nurse them, and they liked this kind of nipple far better than the straight kind.Tragically, this is exactly the kind I've been working with! (They go with my breast pump system). I'm thinking I might just need to keep working with her on this for bottles, but right now she seems smart enough to realize this ain't the real deal. This past weekend was when I finally found a pacifier she'll accept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 Four out of five of my babies would not take a bottle. I tried every kind of bottle under the sun. The fifth would only take a bottle. Kids will keep you on your toes. When I was working part-time after having my first, I lived 5 minutes from work and my SIL was watching my daughter at my house, so I would drive home to feed the baby. It was a pain but we made it work. If your childcare was close to your office, maybe you could do the same thing.... my parents' live less than five minutes away from the office I would be at. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Backroads Posted April 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2013 Perhaps tell your co-worker she can call you for help if she has any questions?Enjoy this time with your baby...it goes so fast.Thanks. I think I needed to hear this, and I believe I would be up for dispensing tips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.