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Traveler

By Traveler,
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Traveler

Traveler

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I am home for Easter and dropped in to say hi. Life has become quite busy and very complicated. I will have access to the forum but I just will not have the time I feel is needed to contribute. That may change once things get settled but I am going into a very difficult situation.

There is a subject that I feel needs some discussion. Most of you know about my feelings concerning marriage, parenting and families. I believe strong families are the foundation of society. At the same time I am concerned with the weakness of one parent families and those that struggle as single or separated parents. I also believe in compassion.

So here is the thought: When someone has struggled spiritually and put themselves in a difficult place – how do me move forward? We wand to help the individual and show compassion but at the same time we do not want to enable their error or give the impression that it is or was alright. There must be a way to not only forgive but to move forward.

I am concerned with ladies that have and attempt to raise children without the love and support of a husband. This is the specific question the general question is more broad. There is a lot of talk about “tough” love and maybe that is part of the answer. People have their agency and responsibilities for their choices but what of children born because of bad choices. I have always told my children that I would be an example of what I teach. If I am not living up to what I say they can call it to account and we can seek out a better example. I know that no one is flawless but how can we teach and say that we believe something that we do not do or demand as part of good living?

If there is something in the past would we not say that was in the past and it was a mistake and if I had it to do over I would not do it again? That in my mind would be repentance. But then if the result of your error is a child – how do you say that to a child? How do you say “If I had it to do over you would not have been born”? How do you convince them of their worth but let them know that they are because of your mistake.

I am so sorry I cannot be around for this not because I think everybody needs my opinion but because this is a time when I may need the opinion of others. Anyway I trust that PC and others will keep this discussion sane. You all can let me know how it comes out some day.

BTW I will be working and spending most of my time in Arizona.

The Traveler

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LionHeart

LionHeart

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But then if the result of your error is a child – how do you say that to a child? How do you say “If I had it to do over you would not have been born”? How do you convince them of their worth but let them know that they are because of your mistake.

Rather than say: "I would not have done it." you might change it to say: "I would have done things differently."

I have been thinking alot about the worth of people lately. In what capacity should we regard our fellow man? In what capacity are we regarded by our Heavenly Father. This is one of the strong points of LDS doctrine. Answers to these questions can be found by the simple phrase: "As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become." In other words, each and every person has, within theirself, the capcity to attain to the same glory and exaltation our Father in Heaven currently holds. So when we ask the question: "What is the worth of this child?" We can answer, "The worth of this child is un-fathomable."

Take care Traveler, and God bless.

L.H.

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Guest bizabra

Guest bizabra

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I have never thought of my child as a "mistake". To the contrary, if I had to do it over again, I would still choose to "have" him, even if it meant I was again "making a mistake" in the eyes of some.

I would relax and enjoy the whole thing a LOT more and not feel the guilt and grief and worry I did at the time, fearing that I was making some sort of "mistake". My son has been a blessing (and a worry, as all children are at times) to me and my life and through the experience of having him the way that I did, I learned a LOT more about life and love than I may have otherwise.

I would have had a LOT more fun and been less stressed out by what others believed to be my "sin". I would have made OTHER choices in life, were I to do it all over again, but I would still have had my son, at age 17, with the same person (hey, I would want the SAME kid I have now, so would have to have the same father again!) even though it would mean I would still be unmarried.

I have always told my son how thankful I am to be his mother, that I have had the pain and pleasure of being his mother. How could ANYONE ever feel that they woudl NOT have their children if they could get a "second chance", even if the circumstances were less than ideal?

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