mormonS Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I'm a new convert and scheduled my first visit with my visiting and home teachers. I like the idea of home teaching and visiting teaching, but I'm plainly not used to having guests over. I tend to be extremely practical, quite Spartan, and a bit messy. My home is NOT equipped for guests (without going into details, just trust me that it is not). I'm not sure what the expectations really are on my side. Is it customary to offer some food or drinks? I can't even really do that right now. - I'm worried that they might think I "need" certain things in the home that I plainly don't want right now, and that their visit will be uncomfortable to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I've never offered food or drink to home or visiting teachers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iggy Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I've never offered food or drink to home or visiting teachers.After living in Arizona for 6 years, and learning to always offer water - I have carried that on to here - Central Oregon Coast.My Home Teacher (Branch President and his wife) and my Visiting Teachers have always accepted. I have never offered treats - though if the box of cookies are on the table, then I offer them. As a Visiting Teacher, I carry my own water. Again, this is a habit I cultivated from living in Arizona. The sisters I visit teach have never offered refreshments. mormonS ~ your Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers are not there for refreshments. They are there to give you a spiritual message and to help you if needed. You say your house is messy, if you ask, they will help you to clean & tidy it. The last time my VTeachers were here, I was in the middle of laundry. Hadn't done laundry for a month, and I was way behind with the folding. They folded towels and sheets while we visited. Got 5 baskets done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I'm a new convert and scheduled my first visit with my visiting and home teachers. I like the idea of home teaching and visiting teaching, but I'm plainly not used to having guests over. I tend to be extremely practical, quite Spartan, and a bit messy. My home is NOT equipped for guests (without going into details, just trust me that it is not). I'm not sure what the expectations really are on my side. Is it customary to offer some food or drinks? I can't even really do that right now. - I'm worried that they might think I "need" certain things in the home that I plainly don't want right now, and that their visit will be uncomfortable to them.Not to worry - their visit need not be much different than having the missionaries in your home. If you are uncomfortable in having the home teachers and visiting teachers in you home - it is not unreasonable to schedule such visits at the ward or branch meeting facility in one of the class rooms following the block schedule on Sunday.As a home teacher I would be happy to accommodate your wish concerning visits. However the visiting teachers, by nature, are usually more inclined to be a little more personal in their visits. The sisters may feel a little shut out and that they are not being friendly enough. But if you are uncomfortable with someone being in your home - just be honest and upfront as you have been on this forum - I believe you will find the attitudes to be similar. :)The Traveler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misshalfway Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 If you are worried about the state of your home, then clean it up a bit. Do it, not to impress, but to honor yourself or to stand in self respect. I usually hate it when my VTers come and my dishes aren't done or my laundry is still strewn about on the couch. When I clean it up, I feel better and more inclined to welcome people into my space. But don't try to be too perfect either. Be yourself and let the imperfection be ok. The other morning my VTers came to the door. I'd completely forgotten they were coming. I hadn't showered and still had the mascara smudges under my eyes from the day before. My dishes weren't done and neither was the laundry. And I'm pretty sure there was a buggar my son had whipped on the wall in the entry way. My VTers couldn't have cared less. They came, they laughed with me, and left me feeling loved and accepted. And it was a good exercise for me to work on self acceptance too. If you want to offer a cookie or something, then do it. But do it in a state of relaxation and fun. Not to meet some social expectation. Most of us just visit in a more casual way. We come to love you. Not to be entertained. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelMarvel Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I wouldn't worry about the house...but, since you are just clean the part that can be seen... like the living room. Close all doors to other parts of the house. I've never had a visiting or home teacher ask to use the bathroom and I have never asked to use the bathroom at their homes... not to say they won't. They are there to give you a message and show that they care about you. They are not there to eat or drink. I always offer the home teachers food because they 100% of the time have shown up either while I was cooking or just as we sit down to eat. They NEVER have accepted. We all have busy lives so usually our visits are about 15 minutes...sometimes less. Do what YOU are comfortable doing. Don't have something that should be a good thing turn into a bad thing because you are uncomfortable. Be blessed. Angel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 does one have to have visiting teachers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leah Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 does one have to have visiting teachersNo. Especially when you're a guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beefche Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Men don't have visiting teachers. Men have home teachers. Women have visiting teachers and home teachers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 If your home teachers have been making the rounds after church, it is nice to offer some water, but unless I already have something out (like around Christmas), I don't offer food. My visiting teachers hardly ever come see me (which is fine, we do phone visits), so maybe, if you are concerned about people coming over, you can do phone visits at first - the sisters will take your feelings into consideration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelMarvel Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Dahlia that is a perfect answer. I know there are times that I am out of town with my husband while he works and my visiting teachers keep connected with me via FB in a Private Message. It works for them and works for me too... so would a telephone call. It's all about the contact, making you feel like there is someone out there that cares, checking up to see if there is a need, and bringing a spiritual message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mormonS Posted September 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Thanks, everyone. Since I'm new to the church I just didn't have a clear idea yet of what exactly to expect from visiting/home teachers. Just to clarify, I'm really not too worried about my house being overly messy, but I'm a private and introverted person and since I'm living on my own and don't normally invite anyone over, it's very much "my" space. It does not look like other people's houses that I visit, and some things must seem strange to visitors, yet again since it's just for myself it doesn't usually matter. I exactly absolutely do NOT want them to feel like they have to help me with my home in any way. But I will keep everyone's answers in mind and try and prepare them a bit, and maybe suggest meeting elsewhere instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelMarvel Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 I grew up with my mom and dad's bedroom/beds in the living room. People thought it really weird, but they had their reasons for having it that way. So, I totally understand how "YOUR" space is designed for YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Men don't have visiting teachers. Men have home teachers. Women have visiting teachers and home teachers.does someone have to have someone else coming to their homethat wouldn't exactly work for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dahlia Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 It does not look like other people's houses that I visit, and some things must seem strange to visitorsNow you've made us curious... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 I spent too much time in the Deep South. Anyone entering my home gets food & drink & directions to the loo almost in the same breath (including deadly enemies, bless their hearts ) That said... I've gone through periods of extreme financial difficulty... And when I don't feel like having to explain why I don't have water or power for a few months, I just arrange to meet at the meeting house (Yes. I am aware that this negates my HTs knowing I need help, but I'm obnoxious that way.), or at the library, or coffee shop (can't walk half a block in most cities without running into a Starbucks, and they've all got free water, non-coffee & tea drinks, soda, pastries, etc... And custom is you pay for yourself, so I can "feed" my guests if theyre hungry without paying to feed them). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 does someone have to have someone else coming to their homethat wouldn't exactly work for meIn my neck of the woods, Mormons like knocking on Mormon doors without prior notice. But no, you don't have to have someone else coming to your home if you don't want to. Just tell them you don't want a home visit, you'd rather meet somewhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lakumi Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 In my neck of the woods, Mormons like knocking on Mormon doors without prior notice. But no, you don't have to have someone else coming to your home if you don't want to. Just tell them you don't want a home visit, you'd rather meet somewhere else.yeah since I don't live alone, and my family aren't too keen on people just stopping by, even worse if one has been awoken from a nap:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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