Football Staff Accused of Bullying

[pam]

The parent of a North Texas high school football player has filed a bullying complaint against a rival team's coaching staff after a 91-0 loss.

The undefeated Aledo Bearcats have made a habit of soundly defeating their opponents this season. After seven games, the team is outscoring the opposition 485-47.

Parent Accuses Football Coaches of Bullying After 91-0 Win | NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth

Your thoughts? Is this justified?

[MarginOfError]

I could almost see a point if the first stringers had been kept in the entire game. But they were making substitutions in the first quarter. There's only so much they can do aside from scheduling games against more challenging opponents.

Why their is such disparity in team skill is a good question, but that's a matter for the conference and athletic departments.

[Swiper]

Unsportsmanlike behavior maybe; bullying no.

They probably should have allowed their opponents to score at least a touchdown.

Edited October 22, 2013 by Swiper

[pam]

I'm not even sure I'd call it unsportsmanlike behavior. That would have meant leaving 1st string in. They didn't do that though. They gave the other team an opportunity by putting in a 2nd string.

[Guest]

Unsportsmanlike behavior maybe; bullying no.

They probably should have allowed their opponents to score at least a touchdown.

Why? Everybody would know it's a mercy-score. Still not worth anything.

You want to score a touchdown... work for it.

So you got beat 0-91. All it means is that either they're freakishly good or you're freakishly bad. Teach your kids that the score is secondary to how much heart you put in that game. Satisfaction comes when you know you gave it your best regardless of the score. Winning is the icing and losing is just another chance to get better.

If I was the parent, I'd go hire the coah to assist with my team. I sure won't be a whine-baby about it.

[Dravin]

I'm with MOE, if they were rotating the bench to it is hard to call it bullying or unsportsmanlike.

[Traveler]

The parent of a North Texas high school football player has filed a bullying complaint against a rival team's coaching staff after a 91-0 loss.

The undefeated Aledo Bearcats have made a habit of soundly defeating their opponents this season. After seven games, the team is outscoring the opposition 485-47.

Parent Accuses Football Coaches of Bullying After 91-0 Win | NBC 5 Dallas-Fort Worth

Your thoughts? Is this justified?

I have a lot of reservations about bullying – I am not sure that filling a bullying complaint is not in itself bullying as some level. I understand that children can be cruel to one another – I realize that many times the way children treat other children is not the best but one lesson I learned raising my children that the more parents get involved with trying to fix how well other children treat their child – the worse things got for their child.

I guess that there really are evil people out there somewhere and that they have evil children – but I have not met very many of them. Almost all people and especially children I have known are having some degree of problems fitting in somewhere. Being told they are a bully of someone that does not treat them very well or accept them – I just do not think is the answer.

I spent many long nights explaining to my children about the golden rule and treating others how they would be treated – and turning the other cheek. My father taught me that a nice person is not someone that is nice to people that they get along with – a nice person is nice when no one expects them to be nice. A nice person is nice to others when others are mean to them.

I personally am not convinced that filling a bullying complaint is the best example of how to be nice. I strongly believe that if we want to teach others how to be nice – the best way is to demonstrate it ourselves. I would say that the players of the losing team that could look the winners in the eye after the game and say – Wow you guys played an amazingly good game – is the kind of person I respect the most in life. And to be honest I do not look forward to spending much time with those that will file a bulling complaint with every opportunity they can find.

The Traveler

[MarginOfError]

I have a lot of reservations about bullying – I am not sure that filling a bullying complaint is not in itself bullying as some level.

As was explained in the article, bullying involves a pattern of behavior. A parent who files a series of bullying complaints against one person (or multiple people) might be bullying on some level. But a single complaint would, at worst, rise to the level of misguided intent.

When a child shows a pattern of aggressive or intimidating behavior, yes that child is being a bully. No matter what the child's problems are fitting in, when he or she exhibits bullying behavior, they need to be told that such behavior is not appropriate. That discussion should, without question, be part of a larger effort to remediate the problems he or she is having fitting in, but the discussion still needs to be had.

[slamjet]

What a bunch of crybaby parents. How about teaching your kids to lose gracefully, ineffective coaching on your own team, your little snowflake sucks at football, etc, etc, etc.

Should have kept the score lower? What a bunch of entitled whiners! "No, my son, that game was unfair. You should have lost by 50, not 100 points. Lets go file a complaint because it surely wasn't your playing that cost the game. It was because the other team were a bunch of meanies."

Behold, look and see, a group of young men that will go into the workforce demanding a raise for sitting on their thumbs all day. How moronic.

[Jennarator]

I read, somewhere, that in CA a team the beats another team byt too many points will get fined. (I know I don't have a source so take it for what you want.) Anyways I think that is silly. Look at the winning team, should a coach tell his team to play their best, until a certain score? no, play hard nd endure. life lesson. Hopefully they are also taught to be good sports and be good winners as well, but hat is a different story.

[warbunny]

Let 'em spend thousands of dollars on a foolish,frivoulous, law suit I certainly hope they will lose,badly. Let 'em get a grip on reality and centuries of years of history instead of clinging to some illiogical concepts of political correctness,nanny state mentality which encourages their whining,unrealistic senses, in defiance of sports, human nature and indvidual self reliance. I'll bet the suing parent voted for our current,inefficient, governmental leaders who believe the government should control all aspects of free agency, and independence and responsibility for one's own actions ,including a footbal team!

[Traveler]

I believe there is another dimension to this that can easily solve the problem. When my sons were involved in sports the league had in their rules that if a team established a certain lead in the game - then the game was over. So lets say that bulling is defined in high school football as having a 70 point lead in a game. Once a team scores a 63 point lead; it is game over - the teams shake hands and everybody goes home happy that either they won the game or that the other team was not permitted to bully.

The Traveler

[MrShorty]

Traveler: That is one solution I thought of as well -- some kind of mercy rule. However, that is a solution that has to be implemented at the league/rule making body level. If the parents truly feel like their children are being "bullied" when the other team wins by such a large margin, then perhaps this energy should be put to lobbying the rule making body for their league for a mercy rule of some kind.

[Jennarator]

Y! SPORTS

this is what I was talking about. It IS a law in CA. I disagree with it, but hey...

[mnn727]

What a bunch of crybaby parents. How about teaching your kids to lose gracefully, ineffective coaching on your own team, your little snowflake sucks at football, etc, etc, etc.

How moronic .

I agree - the parents of the losers should realize their kids are probably just not meant for the football field. Or maybe the coach is one of those - "make everyone feel good and don't worry about actually teaching the kids the game" - kind of coach that should be fired.

[pam]

Y! SPORTS

this is what I was talking about. It IS a law in CA. I disagree with it, but hey...

It's only talking about a new policy in one No. California youth football league. Not a law and not for the entire state of California. And it doesn't apply to high school level.

Edited October 24, 2013 by pam

[Guest]

Y! SPORTS

this is what I was talking about. It IS a law in CA. I disagree with it, but hey...

It's not California Law.

But yes, this is stupid. You don't FINE somebody when playing within the game rules. You change the rules instead.

I'm okay with something like a "Love Set" in table tennis. When I played varsity table tennis in high school and college, the league had a "Love Set" rule where if the score is 11-0 the game is called. At that time, table tennis game was played up to 21 points.

But, I tell you, it is just as embarassing to have a game called at Love Set as it is called at 21-0. But at least without the Love Set, you had 10 more chances to score a point. On paper it isn't as embarassing to see a 21-1 score as to a Love Set but if the other kids find out it's a mercy score, it's even more embarassing. In high school, the weekend inter-school sports results are announced at flag ceremony and usually, they announce the scores that go with it. Including the Love Sets where the school lost. Yes, it was embarassing because there are just those kids who would tease to no end, but it was also good because there are those kids that would buy you lunch for the whole week to show their support and make you feel better.

[talisyn]

It averages out to 69 points a game, so not so bad.

[Traveler]

Traveler: That is one solution I thought of as well -- some kind of mercy rule. However, that is a solution that has to be implemented at the league/rule making body level. If the parents truly feel like their children are being "bullied" when the other team wins by such a large margin, then perhaps this energy should be put to lobbying the rule making body for their league for a mercy rule of some kind.

In some areas there are sport leagues that are just for fun and some leagues that are competitive. Anytime one takes upon sports in a competitive environment they open themselves to various levels of bullying - especially if their performance is not really competitive. Indeed taunting become part of the physic of competitive sports. There is an old saying - if you cannot stand the heat then get out of the kitchen.

When I was a scout master at all the official scout events there was always a fire without matches making contest. I thought that this should be a easy win for my little troop. I helped the scouts build a giant bow to make fire that required as many as 6 scouts to operate.

The goal was to make a fire that would burn through a string 2 feet off the ground. With our little system we could have a fire burn through the string in 15 seconds - the next best time was just over 2 minutes. Then of a sudden there was a movement to have our troop disqualified. I was contacted by the district that the giant bow was not to be used. I asked why was there a problem - that we were not hiding anything and anyone that watched could figure out how to make their own - and we had broken no rules. I then asked - if the goal was not to learn how to make fire - what was the point of competition? I then asked what the word competition meant to them and what about our method did they consider improper for scouts to be considering? It was then announced that our method was legal and that other troops consider trying it as well.

The idea of competition is to raise the standard and quality of play (or whatever) of everyone involved not to lower anyone's efforts. Some of life's greatest lessons come from those that lose and then determine to win. I do not think we do anybody a service in lowering anyone effort to make competition more fare.

In fact I personally resent the crybaby attitude and approach to life - that the successful must be brought down a natch so failures do not feel so bad. That is not progress and despite all the arguments - it really is not fare for anyone.

The Traveler

[Guest]

In some other forum, somebody said that in their kid's U9 soccer, their coaches forfeited the last game of the season because the team that they're playing against was a team that beat them 20+ to 0. Now, think about this... in this soccer league, they don't keep score. But of course, everybody knows when somebody makes a score so they usually keep a tally in their heads. No score soccer is really stupid. It only sounds good on paper. Believe me, it doesn't matter if its U6 or U16... kids know if they've made more scores than the other team. It's instinctive to keep a count.

Anyway... the team coaches decided to forfeit the game without consultation with the kids or the parents so they can "end the season on a high note". This is a pay to play soccer league. If I was a parent, I would be getting those coaches fired.

You know, that's what I really love about jiujitsu too. You can get beat up in jiujitsu and it just drives the kids to go back to the mat and try harder the next time.

[Traveler]

In some other forum, somebody said that in their kid's U9 soccer, their coaches forfeited the last game of the season because the team that they're playing against was a team that beat them 20+ to 0. Now, think about this... in this soccer league, they don't keep score. But of course, everybody knows when somebody makes a score so they usually keep a tally in their heads. No score soccer is really stupid. It only sounds good on paper. Believe me, it doesn't matter if its U6 or U16... kids know if they've made more scores than the other team. It's instinctive to keep a count.

Anyway... the team coaches decided to forfeit the game without consultation with the kids or the parents so they can "end the season on a high note". This is a pay to play soccer league. If I was a parent, I would be getting those coaches fired.

You know, that's what I really love about jiujitsu too. You can get beat up in jiujitsu and it just drives the kids to go back to the mat and try harder the next time.

I just had to giggle a little when I read you post - back when I was single and participated in the sport of dating there were guys that kept score (although method of counting scores often differed). As for me - I really did not care about the score. I was just glad to be in the game. In fact I really did not mind just practicing - I really liked playing the game - even when I was playing way out of my league.

The Traveler

[Guest]

I just had to giggle a little when I read you post - back when I was single and participated in the sport of dating there were guys that kept score (although method of counting scores often differed). As for me - I really did not care about the score. I was just glad to be in the game. In fact I really did not mind just practicing - I really liked playing the game - even when I was playing way out of my league.

The Traveler

Treating dating as a game is, in and of itself, a terrible idea, score or no.

[warbunny]

on the other hand...this was funny to me: in college, I attended a statewide judo tournament to support my roomate. He took 2nd place trophy for the entire state of Utah. The guy who won first place was the only other competitor in his age group etc. hahaha...(no joke)

I watched little kids participate in the same tournament.The loser of each match usually burst into tears. I thought how ironic:The kid was probably the toughest kid in his school and peer group...but there he was just "a loser." Nevertheless: in spite of the false premises of political correctness it is an important leson to learn how to handle stress, even (or maybe especially) from temporary failures or losing your "dream" or goal.

[Traveler]

Treating dating as a game is, in and of itself, a terrible idea, score or no.

Hopefully you will not misunderstand - but I have only heard such disappointment from those that never played. Consider:

It is funner than playing baseball, bowling or such things.

It is a great way to meet and get to know people (especially the opposite sex).

There is no need to put on a pretense or try to impress - you can just be yourself. There is never a reason to be dishonest or hide anything.

You do not have to be serious - you can be friends without strings or falling in love.

If it does not work out - breaking up is not a big devastating deal for anyone. And it does not require that anyone is hurt - there are no losers, just winners. You can still be friends weeks or years later.

If something special starts to happen it is easy to build a serious relationship with a friend you already know a great deal about.

You can learn to like a lot of people without all the touchy feely stuff.

Honestly the only downside I have ever encountered is if someone decides to start playing for keeps without letting the other know - but if someone understands the game they can see when things are no longer fun.

I asked a girl to a formal dance in college just because she was from New York City and had never seen an animal except at a zoo. So instead of picking her up and driving to the dance I had a horse in the parking lot that we road to the dance - we passed through a park east of campus where I opened up to a full gallop. Yah it messed her hair up a little but it was a lot of fun.

The Traveler

[Guest]

Hopefully you will not misunderstand - but I have only heard such disappointment from those that never played. Consider:

It is funner than playing baseball, bowling or such things.

It is a great way to meet and get to know people (especially the opposite sex).

There is no need to put on a pretense or try to impress - you can just be yourself. There is never a reason to be dishonest or hide anything.

You do not have to be serious - you can be friends without strings or falling in love.

If it does not work out - breaking up is not a big devastating deal for anyone. And it does not require that anyone is hurt - there are no losers, just winners. You can still be friends weeks or years later.

If something special starts to happen it is easy to build a serious relationship with a friend you already know a great deal about.

You can learn to like a lot of people without all the touchy feely stuff.

Honestly the only downside I have ever encountered is if someone decides to start playing for keeps without letting the other know - but if someone understands the game they can see when things are no longer fun.

I asked a girl to a formal dance in college just because she was from New York City and had never seen an animal except at a zoo. So instead of picking her up and driving to the dance I had a horse in the parking lot that we road to the dance - we passed through a park east of campus where I opened up to a full gallop. Yah it messed her hair up a little but it was a lot of fun.

The Traveler

Yeah, I don't get it. Sorry. I never dated. I figured if you want to get to know me be my friend. Dating is too contrived. And treating it like a game just seems to be a recipe for hurting people.