Holiday family stories - the good and the bad

[NeuroTypical]

A thread in the advice forum about a sensitive grandma always buying a turkey too small to feed everyone, reminded me: My wife and I chose to put an end to the extended family drama during our holidays. And I sort of miss it. And I really miss all the good stuff too.

How about you share your stories? You know you have them. Good and bad. Your manipulative mother-in-law. Your aunt who's shining example of Christlike behavior saved your marriage. Your loud conspiracy-minded cousin who shows up drunk. Your touching family tradition that brings tears to our eyes. Your brother, showing up with the cranberry sauce and a smile on his face, demanding everyone pretend his recent unspeakable acts of horror don't exist.

It's the holidays! Time to rip jagged scabs off poorly-healed wounds and talk about that elephant in the room! Time to bond and reconnect and rejoice in the strength in your family!

Share?

[Lakumi]

I don't see my family often, mostly geography reasons.

I am thankful I don't have a mother in law.

Last year was the first Christmas dinner I spent with my extended family, it was strange.

My family aren't religious folks, not at all.

Debate, political and religious are a commonplace- as it is in my home, something my family encourages and something I enjoy as well.

Guess it differs for me since "I don't have kids, I'm still somebody's kid" as I heard someone say in a story once and liked the saying.

[pam]

Guess it differs for me since "I don't have kids, I'm still somebody's kid" as I heard someone say in a story once and liked the saying.

I have kids but I'm still somebody's kid. :)

[Guest]

THE GOOD

Last year, a large part of my grandmother's prolific posterity formed a choir (we're a musical family, a heritage that comes from her) and performed at her nursing home. They seemed to enjoy it. She was proud and overjoyed. We didn't know it would be the last Christmas that she would remember any of our faces or names.

THE BAD

Have you seen that letter that goes around every Thanksgiving from the lady telling everyone exactly what to bring, how much, how to prepare it, and what to serve it in? It had to have been written about my MIL. "Make that traditional dessert we like with the nut crust, but make sure you use pecans and not walnuts. I like them better." (They also cost twice as much. I used walnuts.) "Don't bother bringing that green bean dish. I know you like it, but no one else does." (It always got eaten. Including by her.)

THE UGLY

For my birthday this year, she sent me a nice birthday card. Inside was a refrigerator magnet with an inspirational message reminding me not to overeat when I'm stressed out.

[Guest]

This will be the first Christmas that we won't have my dad. It's going to be really tough.

I really miss the ginormous yearly Christmas Party that we held at my house growing up. Christmas Party starts the Saturday before Christmas Day and ends on the Feast of the Wise Men (first Sunday of January). My mom goes all out on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve with a whole crew of relatives prepping, cooking, etc. etc. days before the party. We would block the road to put up more tables that doesn't fit in our front yard. The neighbors are invited so they're just fine blocking the road off. The Priest would arrive for dinner, then everybody would walk to the chapel 3 houses down from our house and have midnight mass, then walk back to our house and light up some fireworks and continue the party... it's awesome. We would have the normal fighting, arguing, laughing, crying, talking, running around... and people would just find a corner to sleep when they get tired.

Now, my story is the roast pig (lechon) that is the centerpiece of the buffet table. I grew up with Richard, our pet pig. He is this all white pig that starts off as a piglet in January and goes on Christmas vacation in December. He was just there... and we just accepted that he becomes a piglet after Christmas...

[Irishcolleen]

Our best holiday story is from Easter. My mom's dog was an avid rabbit hunter. One Easter she graciously left a dead rabbit in the back yard. One of my nephews went out to play and then came in screaming because "Pugsly killed the Easter bunny!"

I guess the happiest story is from the year i was diagnosed with Lupus. It was hard to learn that I had an incurable disease. One of my friends, or a bunch of them from church- to this day I don't know who did it- left boxes of extravagant presents on our doorstep for a whole week leading up to Christmas. There were cookies, candy, Christmas decorations, gift cards, clothes for my kids, etc... Every time I get out the ornaments that year I reflect on the love I have been given. Whoever it was showed me that with the love and care I have been given I could survive anything!

Edited November 26, 2013 by Irishcolleen

[NeuroTypical]

I remember my Mom's last Christmas. She was at the final bedbound stages of her slow decline, dipping in and out of lucidity, cared for at home, and we weren't sure she'd make it. I was a surly teenager, and my dad and I were at each other's throats most of the time. We got to the tree lot late, and all the trees were gone. Except one little 2-inch cut of a trunk, that had one little 4-inch branch sticking out the side of it. We grabbed it, hung the largest ornament the branch would support on it, and that was our poetically appropriate Christmas tree - insufficient, barely upright, but still there.

[person122]

THE UGLY

For my birthday this year, she sent me a nice birthday card. Inside was a refrigerator magnet with an inspirational message reminding me not to overeat when I'm stressed out.

My father-in-law's mom always buys my MIL clothes that are too big for her. Oh boy! Last time she did that my MIL was mad! At least she isn't asking my father-in-law to come and live with her like she did after their wedding.

[person122]

Things I don't miss from childhood family get togethers. Rude humor. No more, "Did you know they figured out diarrhea is genetic? It's in the jeans! *laugh, laugh*" No more putting each other down for fun. No more sarcastic humor. I don't have to watch them make themselves throw up over and over as they try and see how many marshmallows they can fit in their mouth. Do you know that vomit will go out of your nose if it can't come out the mouth? I do. Thankfully the marshmallow thing was after I got married so I only saw that once. But I've heard it had become a normal get together activity.

Loved

My grandma's pickles. They were awesome! Always just right. Always crisp. The best.

[Vort]

Rude humor. No more, "Did you know they figured out diarrhea is genetic? It's in the jeans! *laugh, laugh*"

Well, of course it isn't funny. They messed up the punchline. It's supposed to be, "It RUNS in the jeans." Hah! Hah!

(Believe it or not, I'm completely with you on rude humor, specifically potty humor. I really hate it. But on rare occasion I will pull out the ol' "runs in the jeans" punchline for shock value, e.g. "Bad punning in this family is like genetic diarrhea; it runs etc.")

[Guest]

The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks! « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com 11/26/2013

[Traveler]

There are so many stories. I grew up in a wonderful 5 generation LDS family with roots in Brigham City living at the time in Provo Utah about 2 blocks from the BYU campus. We really did not have a yard to play in because we used it for raising rabbits, chickens, growing a garden and fruit and nut trees - but we made the best of it. The year I met Mrs Traveler I was living in an apartment a couple of blocks away.

Thanksgiving was planed to be the introduction (for approval) of my girl friend to family. My father's birthday was also at thanksgiving. This year my brothers and I decided to give dad a live turkey for his birthday that would be the center of our thanksgiving meal. I had invited my special gal to help with the turkey but she wanted not part of that.

So it was left to us boys to slaughter the turkey in the driveway by the house - it turned out a little more of a mess that was planned but we got the job done and mom took over cooking the bird. However, my little brother saved the turkey legs and attached a wire to a tendon allowing us to manipulate the turkey toes like fingers on a hand. We would run the wire through a coat and hold the turkey foot with one hand exposing the turkey foot while holding it with one hand from the jacket arm and using the other hand to manipulate the turkey foot with the other hand.

It was kind of freaky hand shake with the turkey foot but something we all thought was kind of a funny way to shock guests arriving for the thanksgiving feast. Because my family was well known (and respected) I had told the future Mrs Traveler that the dinner would be somewhat formal - which it was at lease dress wise. She came with a roommate to give her some support meeting the family and both were a little taken back with blood in the front yard. My younger brother met her at the door with the turkey foot. Of course she screamed so everyone could hear and realizing the trick took it out on younger brother that was running for his life. Yup she fit in real good and all approved. But to this day she still believes that my family is on the weird side.

The Traveler

[Vort]

Where in Provo did your family live, Traveler? My dad's family lived south of campus, not far from Center Street. If you were well-off and respected, I expect you lived east or north of campus.

[NeuroTypical]

Holy heck Eowyn. 1:14 - 1:19 on that video will give me nightmares.

If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[Guest]

Chilling, isn't it?

[person122]

Well, of course it isn't funny. They messed up the punchline. It's supposed to be, "It RUNS in the jeans." Hah! Hah!

That was the punchline. Thanks for helping me remember.

[pam]

The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks! « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com 11/26/2013

That was the strangest video.

[person122]

The Thanksgiving Letter: Marney Speaks! « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com 11/26/2013

Was it just me, or was it too painful to even read the whole letter?

[Traveler]

Where in Provo did your family live, Traveler? My dad's family lived south of campus, not far from Center Street. If you were well-off and respected, I expect you lived east or north of campus.

My father grew up poor and believed that rich kids were a curse to society - so our home was humble - a couple of blocks south of BYU (7th North). I did not know we were wealthy until I was in college.

I attended Joaquin elementary and Farrer Jr High. (which explains why I cannot spell) . I grew up in the 50's and 60's which I am quite sure was a little before your time. But I know the Center Street area well; my old paper route was University to 3rd East and 2nd North to 5th North.

Knowing now where you came from - I understand your attitude a little better.

The Traveler

[Vort]

Knowing now where you came from - I understand your attitude a little better.

Actually, it was my Dad's family that lived in Provo. They moved there from Douglas, Arizona in about 1944 or so, after my grandfather died. My widowed grandma wanted her nine children to have a chance to go to college. I am a Washingtonian, born and bred.

[dahlia]

Things I don't miss from childhood family get togethers. Rude humor. No more, "Did you know they figured out diarrhea is genetic? It's in the jeans! *laugh, laugh*" No more putting each other down for fun. No more sarcastic humor. I don't have to watch them make themselves throw up over and over as they try and see how many marshmallows they can fit in their mouth. Do you know that vomit will go out of your nose if it can't come out the mouth? I do. Thankfully the marshmallow thing was after I got married so I only saw that once. But I've heard it had become a normal get together activity.

Gosh. Was your family LDS? I wouldn't have taken that for Mormon behavior.

As an adult, I have avoided family holiday issues by living as far away as possible and still be in the continental United States. Yeah, it's the easy way out; I never said I was a hero.

Actually, I remember very pleasant holidays as a child with the extended family. Nothing to complain about there.

[Backroads]

I have an aunt with issues. A combination of narcissism and mental illness and a whole lot of drug addiction. Her life is very sad and she is entirely on the aid of various government aids and charities. She is very toxic to be around.

Except... everyone feels sorry for her so if she asks to come to something, we have her over.

Last year, my parents were hosting Thanksgiving (big turkey that year). My aunt wanted to come. My brother drove forty minutes to get her. She enters the house. Ten minutes (no joke) later, she says she is ready to leave. On the way home, she supposedly asked my brother when we were going to have Thanksgiving dinner.

A few years back, Grandma was hosting. Aunt comes. BIG show-up that year (all sorts of family members, various people not even related, that sort of deal.) Tables, therefore, were everywhere. Someone lets Aunt know the tables' locations so she can take her pick.

She replies "I can't get downstairs, it hurts my legs".

"... Okay. Like I said, we have tables upstairs too."

"But I won't be using the downstairs one. It's too hard to go down stairs."

"Okay."

"Can you find me a seat not downstairs?"

Edited November 27, 2013 by Backroads

[person122]

Gosh. Was your family LDS? I wouldn't have taken that for Mormon behavior.

Yes, everybody was active Mormon.

[dahlia]

I was cruising FB and there was a note from Dave Ramsey's site about Thanksgiving Horror Stories - Thanksgiving Horror Stories - daveramsey.com. An example:

"I wanted to do something different one year, so I baked a ham with a bourbon glaze. I accidentally used twice the amount [of bourbon] needed, and after baking for about 45 minutes, the alcohol vapor built up in the oven and exploded, blowing the door completely open. A huge blue flame shot across the kitchen as we all shrieked and ducked! Thankfully nothing or no one was injured in any way!"

Maybe things weren't as bad at your place as you thought.

[person122]

I was cruising FB and there was a note from Dave Ramsey's site about Thanksgiving Horror Stories - Thanksgiving Horror Stories - daveramsey.com. An example:

Woo-hoo! Another Dave Ramsey fan! Love his program.