Jumping Scout Troops

[Beauteous1987]

Here is the situation. Our ward is dominated by one family, three generations live in the ward. They are very clique-ish, exclusionary and rude. As an adult I can handle this. I make friend where I can, attend my meetings, fulfill my callings and feel okay about staying in the ward. However, when it comes to scouts, my very physically-active, very fun-loving son doesn't want to attend scout meetings anymore because he feels left out and the other boys are often mean and gang up on him. A friend of mine is having the same problem. We are considering moving our boys to the other ward's scout troop. I don't know if this is allowed. I'm sure it's discouraged but non-members can participate in our troops, why not outside the boundary.  I've even considered going outside the church for scouts but I'm sure there will be problems with Sunday activities if I did that. I already have one son who is inactive partially due to this situation. I feel conflicted. Any advice?

[Vort]

I would feel conflicted in your place, too. I suppose my bias would be toward protecting and nurturing my son first, with helping out the ward programs a distant second.

[NightSG]

I've even considered going outside the church for scouts but I'm sure there will be problems with Sunday activities if I did that.

 

Not sure why it would be an issue other than weekend campouts.  Most other churches have Sunday services, so Scout troops rarely plan anything else before 2-3 o'clock on Sunday.  Camping is more of a necessity during the school year; hard to gain a lot of skills going out late Friday evening and coming back Saturday.

Edited July 22, 2015 by NightSG

[estradling75]

First of all... Have you brought this up to the Leaders in the Ward?  Young Men's president, Bishop etc. It is their job and stewardship to have healthy program running.  If you have not you, need to sustain them by bring this to their attention and giving them a chance to fix it.

 

Don't assume that someone else has talked to the bishop about this issue, or just assume he 'knows'.  Once they know that your boys are finding the Young Men's program to be toxic, then you can take the steps you need to for your sons based on how the leaders respond.

 

Once they have/had that chance then you should do what you have to help your boys.

[pkstpaul]

Often Scout leaders are entrenched and are left in place because they are good at the calling and sometimes hard to replace with someone with that same love for the calling. I am assuming that is likely in your ward.

 

I think the program is ripe for bullying. Although supervised two-deep, it doesn't mean kids don't have private interaction.

 

I'd put my kids first. Changing troops will send a strong message to a leadership that likely already knows there is an issue. You can approach it as "notifying" them of the change before you pull the trigger.  I'm pretty sure advancement in the Priesthood isn't dependent on Scout participation.

Edited July 22, 2015 by pkstpaul

[Guest]

I just have to relate a very recent development in our scouting program...

 

So, my husband has been the 11-yo scout leader for 6 years when my eldest son came through the program.  He earned his First Class coming out of the program - as a matter of fact, every single one of his scouts except 1 for the 6 years he's been in the calling achieved First Class before heading on to Boy Scouts.  But our Boy Scout program is terrible, so much so that not a single one of my husband's 11-yo scouts even came close to Eagle except for 1 Scout - and that's because his family bought a house outside ward boundaries and started attending the ward where my Father-in-law is bishop.  He's a big-time scout guy, retired Navy, the whole deal.  So the one and only scout that came through my husband's 11-yo scout patrol that left our troop is the only one that got Eagle.  So then not too long after my eldest son went through 11yo scouts, my husband got released.  This gave him the opportunity to concentrate on having my son continue his scout advancements.  Our troop is so bad that my husband who is not in the scout program anymore, is the only one attending scout camps and outdoor activities!  None of the leaders show up and 2-deep is non-existent...

 

Anyway, my 2nd son is about to graduate out of 11yo scouts and so my husband is contemplating moving him to the Presbyterian troop because they have a REALLY REALLY REALLY AWESOME program with about 300 Boy Scouts of all denominations.  Only a few of their scout leaders don't have a wood badge!  But he felt he had to first try to bring up the issues with our scouting program and see if it's going to get fixed...

 

Well... the bishop's response... he called my husband to the Young Men's Presidency.  Ugh.

Edited July 23, 2015 by anatess

[sxfritz]

Well... the bishop's response... he called my husband to the Young Men's Presidency.  Ugh.

I can relate to that. They made me YM Pres when I moved into a small branch and I had boys about that age. Thing was I was never a Scout and didn't grow up on the Church. It took me months to figure out the YM program IS the Boy Scouts. I wondered why some of the kids showed up with shirts on. I planned an activity where I took the kids to a car dealer to learn about sales, after arranging an after hour tour at the dealership. The salesman brought his son in full uniform and looked at my "Scouts" all dressed in street rags. I was so embarrassed. The night didn't go well. I really remember nothing more than the moment I saw his son fully dressed with a big sash full of badges. 

 

They really had no business putting me in that calling - with NO training - except that I was a worth male priesthood holder. I did my best for a year or so and got out of Dodge.

 

If you care about Scouts, move your kids to a program that works.  

 

My ward now is great. I am a Webelos assistant. It is still hard for me to care about Scouts (having no background) but I know an love the kids and want to do the best for them. 

[Backroads]

Move 'em.

 

When I worked for the Scouts I saw this quite often. Usually the boys were technically left in the wards' troops to keep everyone happy, but would mainly attend other troops for the actual Scouting (also, there was the fact that most wards are required to sign up for Scouting every boy in the ward, so it was cheaper to just double-enroll on the Church's dime. Honest? Up for debate, but that's how the computer liked it.)

[EarlJibbs]

I do love the title of this thread. I thought briefly that the question was about jumping (a surprise planned fight) an entire scout troop.   

[Palerider]

There are 2 options here .... You can move him to another troop or as parents volunteer to serve on scout committee and go on a few camp outs and see what's going on.

[Palerider]

When I was called as Scoutmaster I always welcomed Dads to go camping. After one camp out had a Dad approach me on a Sunday and told me according to their son I was kinda hard on him over the weekend. He was correct .... Their son was a punk and he is lucky I didn't choke him that weekend. I said to the Dad , we are going again on such and such date and you are welcome to come along ..... Soon as I said that I get ..... Aaaahhhhhhh weeeelllllllllllll aaaaahhhhhhhhhh can I get back with you ?? You bet. He never went and I never heard anything more about their son.

[thoughts]

I think that unless you have volunteered on the committee and the boy's father has attended scout functions for a while to try to make it work, it isn't fair to the ward.   Perhaps you should ask the RSP how to address this in the ward.    

 

But, yes, you can go to another ward or a non-LDS troop.   The latter will cost you a fair amount of money.   And remember that the YM program is two nights per month, one with the girls.  The Scouts are only two nights per week.   You'll want to consider how your child can stay involved in the service projects that the YM and YW do, if they attend another troop.

[SGoodman]

If the objective her is to get the most rewarding scouting experience for your son then the answer is simple enough. Find the best troop available. But I would hope your objectives are greater than that.

You might want to rethink teaching your son, by example, that every organization he affiliates with exists to serve his needs and he has little or no responsibility in the reverse.

You might want to rethink teaching your son that the guidelines and policies provided by the Church can be casually discarded without consequence, seen and unseen.

You might want to rethink passing up on the opportunity to see your son do something hard, overcome stiff opposition, and make a success in difficult circumstances. You would probably have to participate in this process far more than would be necessary in a troop that was more welcoming, and that's not a bad thing. Imagine what overcoming that sort of opposition would do for the growth and maturity of your son and what the process would do for your relationship with him.

If you think your son, with your love and support, would be strong enough to survive and grow from the experience you stay with the troop in your Ward. If you think your son isn't strong enough to rise to the challenge then you need to find an outside troop.