Why is church attendance a requirement for a Temple Recommend?

[Guest]

I have to concur that my current bishop is far more understanding about mental illness than the last one was, though I did love and sustain him.

[Guest]

Inspired by God or not, bishops are still people with filters created by a lifetime of history. There are bad bishops. I've had them. They are called by God, but they may not listen or have some area of personal growth they need to go through themselves. We don't have a doctrine of infallibility. 

 

I would encourage my young sister to continue to talk to the bishop to help him understand.

 

Sure.  But a bishop getting in the way of a Temple Recommend is a VERY BIG DEAL.  If you feel your bishop is not inspired in this decision, go to the Stake President instead of waiting for a new bishop.  Who knows who else he is keeping from a TR.

Edited August 6, 2015 by anatess

[char713]

He's still sort of new to his calling, and he is truly wonderful in most areas, except for where mental illness is concerned. He hasn't said so explicitly, but given the rest of his counsel, he seems to think that the whole thing is self-inflicted somehow. I can't be upset with him really for thinking that way, an awful lot of people do. What I wish he could try to understand is that in this particular case, the problem is not laziness or a lack of caring, or a desire to do other things instead of being at church. Because he almost shuts down our conversations based on that assumption (again, totally normal assumption to make, it probably is true for a lot of people.)

[Vort]

He's still sort of new to his calling, and he is truly wonderful in most areas, except for where mental illness is concerned. He hasn't said so explicitly, but given the rest of his counsel, he seems to think that the whole thing is self-inflicted somehow. I can't be upset with him really for thinking that way, an awful lot of people do. What I wish he could try to understand is that in this particular case, the problem is not laziness or a lack of caring, or a desire to do other things instead of being at church. Because he almost shuts down our conversations based on that assumption (again, totally normal assumption to make, it probably is true for a lot of people.)

 

I can see at least two possible outcomes if you follow your bishop's counsel:

1. You find out that you were wrong and the bishop was right. You discover that you can do things you didn't realize you had the strength or confidence to do. In doing them, you grow stronger, and maybe end up being able to attend Church for three hours on Sunday. Even if you don't totally overcome your fears, you are now their master, not the other way around. You will have experienced great growth and blessings from obeying counsel.
2. The bishop finds out that you were right and he was wrong. Now he has more experience in counseling people in his role as a bishop, and can do a better job for you and for others he might counsel in the future. Your experience, though painful, will have served a good purpose and will be of help to others, and maybe even to yourself in the future.

Either case is potentially painful, but either case is also a win.

[Palerider]

I have signed recommends when I know someone attends church at least twice a month or more. Had someone who was upset with me and they started attending another Ward. They paid tithing each week, I know this because they mailed it to me. When it was time for a new temple recommend I would not sign it and told them so. They went to Stake President and the Stake President agreed with me.

I also had two other people I signed their recommends because they were what I consider a shut in. Did everything but attend church. There are reasons for all sorts of situations.

[bytor2112]

I know plenty of members that do not attend all three hours or anything beyond sacrament meting and hold a temple recommend and I know plenty that attend all three hours , hold a recommend and never attend the Temple and I know plenty that....

Edited August 7, 2015 by bytor2112

[thoughts]

If your bishop is denying you a TR because you cannot attend because of social anxiety, he must believe that you can attend successfully.    It isn't very typical to have social anxiety to the point that one cannot attend church.  And when it is, the person generally also unable to leave home for any reason.   Even that condition can be overcome in most circumstances.   

 

I'm thinking that you should take the actions your bishop wants you to take.  If you physically need someone to help you out of your car and into the church.  Whatever you now need, then ask him for it.   And if you throw up in the foyer when you get there from stress, then just keep going and trying.  At some point you will overcome the obstacle, or the bishop will be prepared to agree that you cannot, rather than that you are unwilling to overcome your comfort zone boundaries.

 

Doctrinally, attending our meetings is part of the 4th commandment Keep the Sabbath day holy, and it says  alot about our commitment to our covenants, to fix any obstacle to attend our meetings.    It is at least as important doctrnially as the WofW and tithing.  So of course it is a TR question.

Edited August 12, 2015 by thoughts

[omegaseamaster75]

Just this past Sunday, a young woman whose family I know well, gave an incredibly moving testimony. She spoke of how, given her own choice, she would simply never leave her bedroom. But she attends all of her meetings every week and even teaches in RS. She spoke of how the only reason that she is able to do these things is because she loves the gospel SO much that she can overcome her anxiety to participate and share the gospel. That she actually gets so excited about the gospel that the anxiety simply cannot stand her way. She could just throw up her hand and say "I can't" but she has the faith that Heavenly Father will help her to do those things that need to be done.

Doing those things necessary to enter the temple are always worth it.

Don't most people feel this way.....dang it why does life have to get in the way? Why do we need to eat and have jobs and be social? Who isn't anxious is the real question? When people get up to give a talk do others actually think they like doing it? or are super pumped up to stand in front of 200 strangers and speak to them? What about going for a job interview? no one is ever anxious about that. Standing in line at the DMV? Going to a crowded supermarket to by food? stuck in traffic?

 

Life is anxiety and in general people use it as an excuse to check out and not participate.

 

Are there extreme cases yes, but if you can get it up to go to work you can go to church. If you are really home ridden see a doctor and get medicated. 

[ckendall]

I've known several people who modified the usual pattern to accommodate particular needs.

 

One was married to a non-member; she regularly attended whichever of two Wards met at the same time her husband attended Church.  Her activity at other activities was limited to avoid antagonizing her husband.  

Another was seriously abused by a minister and is working through PTSD.  She has joined our Church, and her bishop has the SAME name as the abuser.  She had to stop attending her home Ward for a time because of the severe symptoms she experienced.  She received Sacrament at home, and can also attend another Ward until she is able to return to her home Ward.  She stays in touch with Bishop by e-mail and phone.

 

My daughter and I have both had problems with work schedule interfering.  I had to work afternoons, so would attend the morning Ward on those weeks.  My daughter worked nights on weekends, so would attend morning Sacrament meeting, then go home and to bed.  

 

The bottom line is that you need to be communicating about your needs with your Bishop, and working to find a solution.  Just not going is NOT "striving" to attend meetings.  

 

[Blackmarch]

Often, lack of church attendance will indicate that something needs to be addressed... But I don't recall it being a requirement in itself per se

[Vort]

Often, lack of church attendance will indicate that something needs to be addressed... But I don't recall it being a requirement in itself per se

 

Requirement for what? It's a requirement for a temple recommend.

[Blackmarch]

Requirement for what? It's a requirement for a temple recommend.

Sorry probably worded poorly;

as in one of those things where a person who can't go often (due to work or health), but strives to do so honestly as much as they can vs someone who just slacks off due to laziness or because they have issues.  because it's deeper than just a box to be marked off.

(as compared to tithing)

Edited September 4, 2015 by Blackmarch