Pretend It's 1995

[Guest]

Ever wonder if we're talking to real people enough?

[Guest MormonGator]

I don't know my friend. All of us here seem pretty real to me. 

I find it ironic that people post this on Facebook, which didn't exist in 1995. In fact, we wouldn't be here in the forum in 1995.

 

It's just an excuse for the cafes lack of technology. To me, it raises a sad question. Why do people want to live in the past? You can have wonderful conversations over Wi-Fi, and face to face. In fact, I've met amazing people over the internet I never would have met in 1995.  My mom lives in Arizona-I'm glad I can text her round the clock instead of waiting six weeks for snail mail.  My brother up in New England-same thing. 

Edited January 6, 2016 by MormonGator

[Guest]

When I'm talking to my kids on the phone or chatting to them on text... they're real enough to me.

[Guest]

I realize we are real people.  But I was pondering how easy it is to misunderstand each other because of lack of intonation and facial expressions.  Like they say, 80% of communication isn't the words we use.

 

At least over the phone, you get intonation.  And on the phone, you get real, instant responses.  Here we have a moment to look stuff up, we type and re-type before posting.  Even then we can edit.  While we get certain benefits out of that, the compensation is a degree of artificiality.

[Guest MormonGator]

I realize we are real people.  But I was pondering how easy it is to misunderstand each other because of lack of intonation and facial expressions.  Like they say, 80% of communication isn't the words we use.

 

At least over the phone, you get intonation.  And on the phone, you get real, instant responses.  Here we have a moment to look stuff up, we type and re-type before posting.  Even then we can edit.  While we get certain benefits out of that, the compensation is a degree of artificiality.

 Great points! 

My apologies if I came off too harsh. Like many of us online cats, I find that we are always defending ourselves against people who somehow think online friendships are inferior to "real life" ones. 

Edited January 6, 2016 by MormonGator

[Guest]

I realize we are real people.  But I was pondering how easy it is to misunderstand each other because of lack of intonation and facial expressions.  Like they say, 80% of communication isn't the words we use.

 

At least over the phone, you get intonation.  And on the phone, you get real, instant responses.  Here we have a moment to look stuff up, we type and re-type before posting.  Even then we can edit.  While we get certain benefits out of that, the compensation is a degree of artificiality.

 

That's only applicable if... you don't employ any other means of communication with people.

 

When both of you are at the restaurant... it is assumed the person you are there with is communicating in other ways besides the internet.

 

The problem is not the internet.  The problem is that people use the internet like they used their TVs back in the day, and books in the days past that - to immerse themselves in fiction to escape having to live in reality.

 

Lots of parents shove the internet on their kids to get them occupied so the parents don't have to parent.  That's not a problem with the internet.  That's the problem with parents.

[Guest MormonGator]

 

When both of you are at the restaurant... it is assumed the person you are there with is communicating in other ways besides the internet.

 

\

 Absolutely. When I'm at a restaurant or out with groups of friends, I leave my phone in my pocket.  

[Guest]

So, you two communicate with each other in ways other than the internet?

[SpiritDragon]

I don't see why this has to be considered an attack on the internet. Just a reminder that this particular institution has a particular environment (and they clearly get tired of being asked about wifi). I don't have a mobile device, so I can sympathize with the idea of just talking to people.

 

I don't think it has to be considered that they are too cheap to get wifi either - that may be the case, but they also might really be trying to create/protect a certain environment at the establishment.

[Guest]

I don't see why this has to be considered an attack on the internet. Just a reminder that this particular institution has a particular environment (and they clearly get tired of being asked about wifi).

 

Oh!  I get it.  That's what Anatess was talking about.  

 

No, this was not me saying, HEY! Quit the internet!  Outlaw the Internet!  Helloeww, I'm on the internet.  The comment was about quantity and mixing it up a little bit.  I see far too many people who, as Anatess described, are entirely on the internet.  

 

Seriously, I saw a couple on a date didn't talk to each other the entire hour I was sitting near them.  They texted the entire time.  From their reactions and expressions, they seemed to be texting each other as well as others while they were on a friggin' date.

[Guest Godless]

 

It's just an excuse for the cafes lack of technology.

 

I'm going to put on my bar manager hat for a second and address this. The bar I manage has public WiFi available on the same connection we use for our business services (credit card transactions, web-based beer menu, Pandora, etc). Internet service can get pretty slow during peak hours, and there is potential for security issues as well. One of our other locations solved this by creating a separate connection for customers with its own unique password. Unfortunately, my ISP and router are different and we were unable to replicate that setup.

 

Long story short, there are practical advantages for a bar or cafe to not offer public wifi even if they have the capability to. But demand for it is so high that it is prudent for such a business to fabricate a cutesy excuse for their lack of wifi.

[Guest]

So, you two communicate with each other in ways other than the internet?

 

If you're talking about me and Gator, no, we don't.

 

But check this out... if it was not because of the internet... WE WOULDN'T BE TALKING AT ALL.  I wouldn't even know he exists.

 

So, it's not that the internet made me talk less to real people.  It simply - and that's all it really is - widened my world to REAL people that without the internet I wouldn't be talking to at all.  The people I talk to outside of the internet did not magically get replaced by people like Gator.

Edited January 6, 2016 by anatess

[Guest]

By the way... just an appropriate share for this thread...

 

 

When I get upset... I learned to text my husband/kids even if they're right infront of me.  It gives me better control of my IED.  Furiously tapping my phone releases the same energy that I used to release by yelling.  And when things get calm, we all go through the text messages and weed it out so the point of my upset becomes clearer.

 

Yeah, my husband has said... why don't you just write it all out but not send it... then when you get calm, you write another one to send?  It wouldn't work.  I need to be heard through my yelling, otherwise it doesn't bubble over and it builds up inside so that the lava just keeps going and going and going...

[Guest MormonGator]

If you're talking about me and Gator, no, we don't.

 

But check this out... if it was not because of the internet... WE WOULDN'T BE TALKING AT ALL.  I wouldn't even know he exists.

 

So, it's not that the internet made me talk less to real people.  It simply - and that's all it really is - widened my world to REAL people that without the internet I wouldn't be talking to at all.  The people I talk to outside of the internet did not magically get replaced by people like Gator.

Amen Anatess. Exactly! It's not an "either or" it's a "both and".

For me the internet widened my circle of friends from "small town New England" to much, much bigger. Growing up was lonely, depressing and I would never, ever go back. You only had friends in your small little community. If that works for you, great. It didn't work for me.  I know others who feel the same way. Now I have friends whom I started talking to over the internet years ago (some as early as 1998! That's almost twenty years!) and we've met face to face and have wonderful friendships. In fact, there is a good chance I wouldn't have joined the church. The fist missionary I had deep contact with was strictly online. Don't you want dear little Gator around  ? I thank God for this site, too. It's helped and enriched my faith in many ways. 

I do honestly think there is a irony about posting about a time before Wi-Fi on the internet. In 1995 we wouldn't be here to complain about Wi-Fi. To some of us (I speak only for myself) it may seem like the person posting this thinks they are too good for wi-if (not you personally Carb, I'm talking about the people on Facebook who post this). To me it's like posting how bad cars are from you brand new Ford Mustang. Or how bad phones are from your new Iphone. Well, if you don't like wi-fi, stop using it and I'll take you more seriously. I'll still disagree though. 

Again, just my thoughts. If we agreed on everything the internet would be incredibly boring. 

 

Edited January 8, 2016 by MormonGator

[Guest]

Anatess,

 

You make a good point.  I'm not saying EVERYONE does this.  Many do.  You're obviously not one of them.

 

 

Gator,

 

Yes, advantages certainly exist in online communication/friendships.  I'm certainly glad I've "met" the people on this forum.

 

 

Godless,

 

I saw a reality show on fixing a broken business.  A restaurant owner wanted to know what happened in the past several years that drove business down.  They didn't think they'd changed much.  They looked at other successful restaurants and found they served the same food of varying qualities.  So, it wasn't a change in the taste of food.

 

The expert they brought in checked out everything and said everything was good.  So they looked through old security footage (VHS -- cough) to see if there was a procedural or personnel issue.

 

They found that since they implemented wi-fi into the restaurant, they had people who would sit there and text or surft for 45 minutes before they'd order.  Then they'd hang out for another 1/2 hr after eating.  This reduced the turnover rate for each table reducing the number of people that could be served.

 

The owners then eliminated wi-fi.  And they made a concerted effort to have faster service at the tables.  Business went back to the original successful rates.

[mirkwood]

 

 

 

When I get upset... I learned to text my husband/kids even if they're right infront of me.  It gives me better control of my IED.  Furiously tapping my phone releases the same energy that I used to release by yelling.  And when things get calm, we all go through the text messages and weed it out so the point of my upset becomes clearer.

 

 

 

 

IED and cell phones in the same post.  Time to get in touch with my contacts at DHS.

[Guest]

Anatess,

 

You make a good point.  I'm not saying EVERYONE does this.  Many do.  You're obviously not one of them.

 

 

Gator,

 

Yes, advantages certainly exist in online communication/friendships.  I'm certainly glad I've "met" the people on this forum.

 

 

Godless,

 

I saw a reality show on fixing a broken business.  A restaurant owner wanted to know what happened in the past several years that drove business down.  They didn't think they'd changed much.  They looked at other successful restaurants and found they served the same food of varying qualities.  So, it wasn't a change in the taste of food.

 

The expert they brought in checked out everything and said everything was good.  So they looked through old security footage (VHS -- cough) to see if there was a procedural or personnel issue.

 

They found that since they implemented wi-fi into the restaurant, they had people who would sit there and text or surft for 45 minutes before they'd order.  Then they'd hang out for another 1/2 hr after eating.  This reduced the turnover rate for each table reducing the number of people that could be served.

 

The owners then eliminated wi-fi.  And they made a concerted effort to have faster service at the tables.  Business went back to the original successful rates.

 

Ugh!  My family just went through this discussion about a couple of years ago or so.  My husband got hooked on Facebook and this was when we gave the kids their phones.  We'd be everywhere and the phones ping - Notification from Facebook, or minecraft, or whatever it is that needed attention.  I remember having that Neopet that pings at me wanting to be fed or nurtured or whatever.  Drove me insane so I chucked the thing to die its slow death.  The pinging from their phones was starting to drive me insane because they're like little poppers that my family thinks has to be attended to... even when we're in the middle of ordering something at a fast food place!

 

I put my foot down - TURN OFF ALL NOTIFICATIONS except for phone and text.  Text was bad enough - especially with the kids.  They have friends that texts them every minute of every night... I didn't win that one - the husband decided text remains pinging.

 

Anyway, today, we still have all notifications off except phone and text - and my husband's work email.  Facebook can wait until we remember to open the thing up.

Edited January 6, 2016 by anatess

[Guest]

IED and cell phones in the same post.  Time to get in touch with my contacts at DHS.

 

HAH HAH!  Good one!  I should have said something about Islam.

[NeuroTypical]

On one hand, I am a bit worried about folks who seek friendship/relationships/human interaction mostly or even solely online.  There's a lot of folks that do it, and it's impacting our culture.

 

On the other hand, 

[mordorbund]

"1995 you say?! What a great year to be alive. Why, my friend, it only gets better from here. I can see by your sign that you're up for some conversating. Well, my friend, have I got something for you. I was just reading this morning a proclamation that recently came out for the whole world - THE WHOLE WORLD! - and I can see that you're a responsible world citizen, so I thought we could discuss it - you know, conversate. Well, it's all about the family..."

[Guest Godless]

Godless,

 

I saw a reality show on fixing a broken business.  A restaurant owner wanted to know what happened in the past several years that drove business down.  They didn't think they'd changed much.  They looked at other successful restaurants and found they served the same food of varying qualities.  So, it wasn't a change in the taste of food.

 

The expert they brought in checked out everything and said everything was good.  So they looked through old security footage (VHS -- cough) to see if there was a procedural or personnel issue.

 

They found that since they implemented wi-fi into the restaurant, they had people who would sit there and text or surft for 45 minutes before they'd order.  Then they'd hang out for another 1/2 hr after eating.  This reduced the turnover rate for each table reducing the number of people that could be served.

 

The owners then eliminated wi-fi.  And they made a concerted effort to have faster service at the tables.  Business went back to the original successful rates.

 

I heard about that study a year or two ago. That's why I'm glad we don't do food service. People are a lot more likely to put their phones down when beer is at stake.

[Palerider]

I am a optical illusion ......Lol !!!

[Guest MormonGator]

I am a optical illusion ......Lol !!!

 Remember those Magic Eyes that were popular in Sunday comics? I could never do them. Never 

[SpiritDragon]

 Remember those Magic Eyes that were popular in Sunday comics? I could never do them. Never 

 

I hated those. I remember trying so hard to see what was supposed to be there. I was told to try and stare through it, to zone out, to look cross-eyed - I started to think that there was nothing there and that anyone that claimed they could see it were lying because they didn't want to admit they couldn't do it either.

 

I never have successfully seen something there, just a blur.

[Guest MormonGator]

I hated those. I remember trying so hard to see what was supposed to be there. I was told to try and stare through it, to zone out, to look cross-eyed - I started to think that there was nothing there and that anyone that claimed they could see it were lying because they didn't want to admit they couldn't do it either.

 

I never have successfully seen something there, just a blur.

 PREACH! 

 

I remember a cousin saying "Only idiots couldn't do those."  This is the same cousin who would eat paste. 

Edited January 8, 2016 by MormonGator