NeedleinA Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Hundreds of times I've been asked the following at restaurants, "Would you like something to drink besides water?" Is it just my wife and I, or do others experience the rolling eyeballs from their waiters when you don't order alcohol? When our waiter takes away the wine list, there is that overwhelming feeling that we just lost 50% of their service/attention. Funny thing is we are really good tippers if waiter doesn't treat us like we have leprosy. FYI: We live outside of Utah So, does anyone else experience this too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted February 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Hundreds of times I've been asked the following at restaurants, "Would you like something to drink besides water?" Is it just my wife and I, or do others experience the rolling eyeballs from their waiters when you don't order alcohol? When our waiter takes away the wine list, there is that overwhelming feeling that we just lost 50% of their service/attention. Funny thing is we are really good tippers if the waiter doesn't treat us like we have leprosy. FYI: We live outside of Utah So, does anyone else experience this too? Edited February 29, 2016 by NeedleinA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 I wonder how much is your perception vs. reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Am in Utah, but would be curious to know the answer. I think I'd have some fun: "Just water thanks, makes it easier to calculate the tip." "Is the food that bad?" "Ecto cooler?" (I would kill for Hi-C to bring back Ecto Cooler. ) etc. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapikui Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 http://www.chowhound.com/food-news/106088/no-drinks-bad-service/ NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted February 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 21 minutes ago, The Folk Prophet said: I wonder how much is your perception vs. reality. If it was just a couple of times, I would chalk it up to possible perception. This is something I have experienced all across the states and the world. One could argue that I am the one common factor in all of those experiences, so it must be me. This just happened again to my wife and I last night. The waiter did the very minimum to serve us, meaning bring us our food. No return to check up on us, no refills of our non-alcoholic beverages, etc. When I'm in Utah, I don't experience this, but then again, it could be my perception in Utah. So curious to figure out from others, if this is a NeedleinA issue or have other experienced this too? 21 minutes ago, zil said: "Just water thanks, makes it easier to calculate the tip." Very clever! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted February 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 9 minutes ago, kapikui said: http://www.chowhound.com/food-news/106088/no-drinks-bad-service/ Yes, this article is what we experience over and over again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 15 minutes ago, NeedleinA said: When I'm in Utah, I don't experience this No, you wouldn't - it's too common for diners to get only water (or soda or lemonade). I think they must have figured out how to make money without the alcohol - and that's the thing, a smart person recognizes that some money is better than no money, and if I experienced what you did, I'd be tempted to leave no tip at all - especially if I were a repeat customer - in fact, I'd tell the waiter that: "Look, it's against my religion to drink. So if you ignore me because you think the tip isn't going to be worth your effort, you'll lose out, cuz I'm a generous person. But if you treat me well, I'll treat you well." (NOTE: I'm more generous than most tippers, cuz I think the whole pay structure around restaurant waiters is ridiculous.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David13 Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) Yes, sometimes you will get that. The more you spend, the more attention you will get. Also, if you are shabby dressed or not a lot of jewelry, they assume you are not much of a tipper. If you look like a truck driver, in a place where they like truck drivers (big tippers) you will get good service. A place where they don't like truck drivers, poor service. I ride a motorcycle. BMW. Sometimes I get lousy service. Perception, lousy tipper. Other times excellent preferential service. They like motorcycles, or they think BMW = $, or they know that there are a lot of good tipper motorcyclists (Harley guys are well known as big tippers. They have a soft spot for ladies, waitresses, and working people) So all I can tell you, is, it all depends. Who what where and when. And perceptions. dc Any time you want good service, pull out money and hand it over. Pull out some and ask for a special favor, then hand the money directly to the server. I usually give large tips, 30 or 40%. Then when I go back I usually get good service. But be sure to hand it directly the the waitress, even if you have to walk around to find her. Go to one of the casinos in Vegas. Watch who gets good service. Always the one with cash in hand who hands it out. Edited February 29, 2016 by David13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeccaKirstyn Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 I'm a waiter and I understand why they want you to order alcohol (increases your check average, thus increasing your tip amount, and many restaurants keep a ranking system of who gets what section depending upon how much in alcohol sales you had for the week along with other factors). But as an LDS member I hate selling alcohol so I'm a little different. I hate encouraging my guests to drink poison that will inhibit their ability to drive later that night. But even with all the reasons why selling alcohol is beneficial for servers, they still shouldn't treat your dining experience any different. That's just bad service. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 10 minutes ago, BeccaKirstyn said: But even with all the reasons why selling alcohol is beneficial for servers, they still shouldn't treat your dining experience any different. That's just bad service. This is the difference between a professional and non-professional. And in my experience, it's the difference between someone who will excel, be recognized, and succeed, and someone who will spend the rest of their lives hoping for big tips. NeedleinA and BeccaKirstyn 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Yes, Booze is expensive, and consequently waiters who serve booze to customers tend to make bigger tips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted February 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 11 minutes ago, zil said: a smart person recognizes that some money is better than no money, I've never been a waiter before, but I would use my head and serve them anyways. Any tip is better than zero tip. 11 minutes ago, David13 said: The more you spend, the more attention you will get. I can see this being the case, however, the eye rolling usually happens fairly soon because the wine list is hauled off before we have even had a chance to order appetizers, dinner or desserts. So maybe we didn't order their $30 wine, but instead of the $25 dinner, we got the $55 dinner. Bummer for all involved. 8 minutes ago, BeccaKirstyn said: they still shouldn't treat your dining experience any different. That's just bad service. Amen Sister! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmarklin Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 1 hour ago, NeedleinA said: Hundreds of times I've been asked the following at restaurants, "Would you like something to drink besides water?" Is it just my wife and I, or do others experience the rolling eyeballs from their waiters when you don't order alcohol? When our waiter takes away the wine list, there is that overwhelming feeling that we just lost 50% of their service/attention. Funny thing is we are really good tippers if waiter doesn't treat us like we have leprosy. FYI: We live outside of Utah So, does anyone else experience this too? I don't experience this at all, and I eat out a lot. Many people don't drink alcohol at meals for a variety of reasons. Im old enough to remember being at some very hard drinking lunches (not me!) 30 or so years ago, but it's just not that way anymore. People tend to drink a lot less here in the SF Bay Area than was formerly the case. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 (edited) 1 hour ago, NeedleinA said: Hundreds of times I've been asked the following at restaurants, "Would you like something to drink besides water?" Is it just my wife and I, or do others experience the rolling eyeballs from their waiters when you don't order alcohol? When our waiter takes away the wine list, there is that overwhelming feeling that we just lost 50% of their service/attention. Funny thing is we are really good tippers if waiter doesn't treat us like we have leprosy. FYI: We live outside of Utah So, does anyone else experience this too? I've worked in restaurants and, yes, this is reality, not just perception outside of Utah. And, yes, you are correct that is why they are rolling their eyes at you. Waiters often talk about that behind the scenes. What I've done to combat this is that I tell the waiters right up front that I'm a big tipper and I'll compensate them for their service. But as they are late with this or that or don't pay enough attention, every time I notice something I'll strike a dollar off the tip. Do that enough and I'll stiff them. As long as I state it in good humor, they take it in good humor and give me great service. Then I have to hold up my end of the bargain. NOTE: Only bad waiters would treat you like that anyway. If they really ask you that in a slightly jilted tone, and especially if they roll their eyes at you, I'd just get up and walk out. I've done so. The waiter gets all flustered and asks if there is something wrong. I tell them. I also make it a point to tell them that I'm a big tipper. But that reaction to having no drinks was a deal breaker for me. Edited February 29, 2016 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just_A_Guy Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 I had no idea HOW expensive until I went to a firm dinner (about 20 people, five of us LDS) during a conference last year, for which my boss picked up the tab. Just_A_Girl and I are pretty frugal, so it felt like a splurge just to order dessert. We needn't have worried--the alcohol tab alone broke $1500 (and most of the firm was thoroughly sauced by the end of the night). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 10 minutes ago, Carborendum said: I've worked in restaurants and, yes, this is reality, not just perception outside of Utah. And, yes, you are correct that is why they are rolling their eyes at you. Waiters often talk about that behind the scenes. Fascinating. I've never noticed that (yes, I live outside of Utah)...but that could be for two reasons, first it could be the kind of restaurants I go to...Red Robin anyone, LOL! But also, I can be a little oblivious at times...like Bob in What About Bob? LOL. I totally believe you; I just never realized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 26 minutes ago, Carborendum said: Waiters often talk about that behind the scenes. It's all the time, really. So true Carb. So true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 I was just re-reading some posts and I think I have to clarify something. It is mostly the water only that causes the most heartache. Many times my wife and I just have water. That is when it is most disappointing to the server. While alcohol is preferred by waiters, non-alcoholic beverages are acceptable at places that aren't necessarily known for their alcoholic beverages. In some restaurants where almost everyone drinks alcohol, a non-alcoholic beverage is sneered at. At a regular "family friendly" restaurant, non-alcoholic beverages are fine for most wait staff. But if you just order water... The way some restaurants and even bars will combat this is that they make sure that the non-alcoholic beverages are almost as expensive as the alcoholic ones. This is justified by the restaurant because the "fancier" non-alcoholic drinks cost more to create than the plain alcoholic drinks. Sometimes I'm not sure what they're complaining about in any case. Some servers at moderately expensive restaurants like Red Lobster potentially make more money per hour than I do as an engineer. Or at least they make quite a chunk for a job that doesn't require any special training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 21 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said: .like Bob in What About Bob? \ Lit, I love that movie!!!!! It takes place on the lake I grew up on, but it was filmed in the Virginia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 9 minutes ago, MormonGator said: Lit, I love that movie!!!!! It takes place on the lake I grew up on, but it was filmed in the Virginia. That's cool. I love that movie too! My family and I used to watch it whenever my therapist went out of town...ha ha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 Ah... Yes! The film that made Tourette's Syndrome a household name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 7 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said: That's cool. I love that movie too! My family and I used to watch it whenever my therapist went out of town...ha ha! LOL! That's awesome. I love the part when Bill Murray walks off the bus and starts screaming "Dr Marvin! Dr Leo Marvin!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 8 minutes ago, MormonGator said: LOL! That's awesome. I love the part when Bill Murray walks off the bus and starts screaming "Dr Marvin! Dr Leo Marvin!!" My favorite is how he absolutely oblivious to how much Dr. Marvin dislikes him. Makes me laugh every time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 29, 2016 Report Share Posted February 29, 2016 9 minutes ago, Carborendum said: Ah... Yes! The film that made Tourette's Syndrome a household name. YES! When him and the kid are testing it out! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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