Coed Hotel room sharing

[siw5385]

Hey everyone! I have a question! 

 

My boyfriend and I want to take a temple trip together for a couple of endowment sessions, but we live 6 hours away from a temple. We were thinking about getting a hotel for two nights ( Day before and day after and separate beds of course), but I wasn't sure if that was still inappropriate or not.

Thoughts? 

Thanks! 

[Backroads]

You say coed. Are you students? In that case, get separate rooms for sure.

Now, I've seen and heard of similar things done without LoC problems  (I had a roommate who often had her boyfriend sleep in the same bed with her) and you're the adults. But I'm the type to say to avoid the temptation.

[NeedleinA]

2 hours ago, HorseGirl20 said:

Thoughts? 

Of all the many questions asked on here, this is a prime candidate for...

Go, kneel down, ask Heavenly Father this question, pause in silence and listen. Listen to the promptings/thoughts that come to your mind. Does your mind whirl with thoughts of this is a dangerous step OR do you feel complete peace about it? Let the Spirit answer this one for you.

You might also consider taking a 3rd or 4th person with you instead.
So... listen and listen some more and I guarantee you will know the correct answer. Good luck!

[anatess2]

My advice worth 2 cents:  Get separate hotel rooms.  It's just proper etiquette.  (I hear my mother in my head).  Etiquette adherence has its uses and avoiding complications on these types of things is worth the nod to old-fashioned etiquette and the extra $.

 

[tesuji]

For me, it's a no-brainer: Dont do it.

Sharing a bedroom with someone of the other gender who you're not married to is asking for trouble, even more so when you're in a romantic relationship with that person.

I would personally feel it to be perilous if it were me. Why put yourself in a situation that could become a temptation to sin, and on a trip to the temple even?

Additional advice: Stay out of each other's rooms while you're there. Meet somewhere else.

Edited July 8, 2016 by tesuji

[NeedleinA]

1 hour ago, Backroads said:

 In that case, get separate rooms for sure.

47 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

My advice worth 2 cents:  Get separate hotel rooms. 

5 minutes ago, tesuji said:

For me, it's a no-brainer: Dont do it.

This is the correct answer, there is no doubt about it. I believe the best thing that @HorseGirl20 can do is go pray about it herself, helping her rely on the Spirit more instead of needing to ask others. The more we can encourage each other to go pray and receive personal answers directly with our Father in Heaven the better we will all be.

 

[siw5385]

Thank you all for the replies and advice! I very much appreciate it   I will definitely pray about it, but it seems so far the best idea is to go ahead and get separate rooms. I will pray abut it though

[Rhoades]

1 hour ago, NeedleinA said:

This is the correct answer, there is no doubt about it. I believe the best thing that @HorseGirl20 can do is go pray about it herself, helping her rely on the Spirit more instead of needing to ask others. The more we can encourage each other to go pray and receive personal answers directly with our Father in Heaven the better we will all be.

 

Frequently the Spirit helps answer questions as we study the word of God about the subject.  We should study both ancient and modern prophets.

In "For The Strength Of Youth" God's prophets have said, "Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression" and "Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home".  Although the counsel in the book is primarily to youth, the wisdom behind those statements is very applicable especially to people in a romantic relationship.

 

Edited July 8, 2016 by Rhoades

[NeedleinA]

1 hour ago, Rhoades said:

Frequently the Spirit helps answer questions as we study the word of God about the subject.  We should study both ancient and modern prophets.

Yep, 100% agree. Zero issue with this - study on!

1 hour ago, Rhoades said:

In "For The Strength Of Youth" God's prophets have said, "Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression" and "Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home".  Although the counsel in the book is primarily to youth, the wisdom behind those statements is very applicable especially to people in a romantic relationship.

Yep, 100% agree with this too. 

Not sure if I'm having an off day in conveying my ideas...
The OP and her boyfriend are endowed members of the Church.

7 hours ago, HorseGirl20 said:

trip together for a couple of endowment sessions,

They are not "youth" or "beginner" members. So... my counsel stands, go pray about it. The answer should be apparently obvious to an endowed member, BUT for some reason it is not in this instance. I would suggest the OP go pray about the situation and let the Spirit clear her mind and basically help her see the "Duh!" that it is not a good idea.

Prayer is at our finger tips 24/7. Logging on to a forum to ask others, or having to rely on hunting down words of the prophet may not be so easily accessible. So... please, take the time to train ourselves to "pray" and let the Spirit remind her of what she most likely already knows is the "real" answer to begin with. I would suspect that within less than 5 minutes of quite prayer, the "duh, it's a bad idea" answer would become abundantly apparent. 

That's all folks

Edited July 9, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Iggy]

6 hours ago, HorseGirl20 said:

Hey everyone! I have a question! 

 

My boyfriend and I want to take a temple trip together for a couple of endowment sessions, but we live 6 hours away from a temple. We were thinking about getting a hotel for two nights ( Day before and day after and separate beds of course), but I wasn't sure if that was still inappropriate or not.

Thoughts? 

Thanks! 

 

Take turns driving to and from - no overnight in a hotel/motel. While one is driving, the other sleeps in the back seat or passenger seat.

One thing that you said really pops out at me - see bolded and underlined.

You know it is inappropriate, so where in the world do you get that it may not be anymore? What in your mind or world would THAT have changed.

Just to satisfy my curiosity, how old are the two of you?

 

[Blackmarch]

10 hours ago, HorseGirl20 said:

Hey everyone! I have a question! 

 

My boyfriend and I want to take a temple trip together for a couple of endowment sessions, but we live 6 hours away from a temple. We were thinking about getting a hotel for two nights ( Day before and day after and separate beds of course), but I wasn't sure if that was still inappropriate or not.

Thoughts? 

Thanks! 

get seperate rooms. it's safer- even if you and your befriend don't do anything wrong, it removes the possibility being accused of doing something wrong..... and you won't have your conscious nagging you all the way through the temple.

[copic_crack]

I use Airbnb often, and they'll have houses and apartments with 2+ bedrooms. 

If money for 2 hotel rooms might be difficult, I often find airbnb to be quite affordable and would give you both an appropriate amount of space. 

But what you do depends on where you feel called by the spirit.

[Sunday21]

I once proposed sharing a motel room when going to the temple with a male friend. My bishop counseled me to avoid the appearance of evil.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

On July 8, 2016 at 3:09 PM, NeedleinA said:

This is the correct answer, there is no doubt about it. I believe the best thing that @HorseGirl20 can do is go pray about it herself, helping her rely on the Spirit more instead of needing to ask others. The more we can encourage each other to go pray and receive personal answers directly with our Father in Heaven the better we will all be.

This is really great advice!  We need to encourage one another to pray and receive personal inspiration more often.  Thanks Needle. 

[GratefulHeart]

I typically lean towards, "better safe than sorry" in any kind of situation that presents a risk. Be it wearing a bike helmet, wearing sun screen, or avoiding anything that could result in temptation. I know of too many people who thought they were strong enough to resist, and that they could avoid harmful choices when sharing hotel rooms, beds, and even moving in together. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of heartbreak and destructive situations from people who originally had good intentions to maintain the LOC. So, sometimes it just is best to go with "better safe than sorry." It might mean having to spend more money on a second room, but it could prevent the loss of the relationship itself ( and other important things).

Edited July 27, 2016 by GratefulHeart

[Guest]

Why is everyone being so tepid about this?  HECK NO!!! should be the clear, unequivocal answer.

Here's a story about my old boss:  He and his fiance were driving on their way to family in another state for their wedding.  It was winter and snowing.  Their car broke down late at night.  They had money for only one motel room.  

He said,"It looks like we'll have to get a room for the night until we can get the car fixed in the morning."

She said,"Nope, it looks like we need to fix the car tonight."

"But, dear, it's cold and we could freeze out there."

"Looks like you'll have to bundle up."

"But everything is closed.  And I don't know how to fix what is broken"

"Then you'll have to wake someone up."

"But, dear..."

"No."