Finally told my wife, I cheated, lied and I'm leaving. Help!

[NeedleinA]

A lot of this has been a long time coming, but I'm slightly relieved to have this all off my chest finally. Well for some of you this may come as a shock, for others perhaps not. After almost 2 decades of marriage, I felt it was finally time to come clean, so please don't judge me yet, since only God can judge. Here goes... yesterday, I told my wife...
1. While in my younger years while playing a really hard to beat Nintendo game called "Contra", I would often use a "cheat code" to get more lives, UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START
2. I know that at some point I "lied" to one of friends and led him to believe that I was "just that good" at the game.
3. After I told my wife my childhood flaw, I gave her a kiss and told her "I'm leaving" to work now, to have a great day and would see her that night.
4. She reminded me I was in charge of dinner. "Help!", any suggestions on a good lasagna recipe??

On a serious note: Over many years of hearing criticisms of the Church or Gospel, it never ceases to amaze me how much of the information that is out there is "misleading". While the title of my post, "Finally told my wife, I cheated, lied and I'm leaving. Help!" is accurate, taken out of context it sure makes for a sensational headline, that can invoke a completely unwarranted response. I have no problem addressing concerns about honest factual truth, but I am often saddened by the number of people who only see headlines and don't read any further to get any context. This is a common method in which critics try to attack the church & gospel, using a narrative of partial/half truths.   

I have seen these sensational headlines pull people away from their testimonies and also scare investigators away. So how do you personally combat such tactics and strategies in your own lives? 

Edited July 16, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Backroads]

Questions. I hate click bait, online or in real life drama. I try to get details.

[zil]

44 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

I have seen these sensational headlines pull people away from their testimonies and also scare investigators away. So how do you personally combat such tactics and strategies in your own lives? 

Are you asking how we avoid falling for click bait, or how we counteract its influence on others?

(Cursing at NeedleInA redacted.)

[Guest]

You almost broke my heart, Needle.

In the case of the apostates in my family, they really really want to believe that the church is bad, so anything that supports that story is welcome for them. Funny thing is, most of them are miserable. The ones that aren't are still basically living gospel principles.

We protect our children by teaching them that anyone can post anything they want on the Internet, and that a lot of people lie. We teach them from scripture, and our experience, how the father of all lies is really good at taking a little piece of truth and twisting it to make it look bad and ugly. We pray with them and for them.

[Guest MormonGator]

1 hour ago, NeedleinA said:

1. While in my younger years while playing a really hard to beat Nintendo game called "Contra", I would often use a "cheat code" to get more lives, UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START

You referenced the Konami code. I salute you with awesomeness. 

[NeedleinA]

1 hour ago, Backroads said:

Questions. I hate click bait, online or in real life drama. I try to get details.

"Questions & get details" - Great Backroads!  Sorry for the click bait

1 hour ago, zil said:

Are you asking how we avoid falling for click bait, or how we counteract its influence on others?

(Cursing at NeedleInA redacted.)

My mind still let me fill in the redacted cursing, so no worries! Yes Zil, how do you counteract it's influence on others.

1 hour ago, Eowyn said:

You almost broke my heart, Needle.

In the case of the apostates in my family, they really really want to believe that the church is bad, so anything that supports that story is welcome for them. Funny thing is, most of them are miserable. The ones that aren't are still basically living gospel principles.

We protect our children by teaching them that anyone can post anything they want on the Internet, and that a lot of people lie. We teach them from scripture, and our experience, how the father of all lies is really good at taking a little piece of truth and twisting it to make it look bad and ugly. We pray with them and for them.

Sorry Eowyn, my bad. 
Great answers - very proactive approach instead of waiting to only counteract it after the fact.

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

You referenced the Konami code. I salute you with awesomeness. 

I found it in 5th Nephi 2:11

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

I found it in 5th Nephi 2:11

I almost went to look that up.

[NeedleinA]

27 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

I almost went to look that up.

While teaching D&C as the GD Instructor, I could just tell that half the crowd were (sorry to say) mindless zombies sometimes. One day I asked everyone to look up D&C Section 142:14 (or something like that, non-existent ). Everyone started flipping through their scriptures. A couple of them raised their hands for help to further locate it. Took several minutes for them to realize it was a joke. I apparently stunk as a GD Instructor.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Needle, this is EXACTLY what I needed to EXACTLY right now.  You hit the bullseye, and a million thank you's.  

[zil]

1 hour ago, NeedleinA said:

Yes Zil, how do you counteract it's influence on others.

I've only once needed to do this with a specific individual on a specific topic, and it was more reinforcement of a decision already made to reject the false teachings, but it was done by identifying specific deceptions among the false teachings, and by testifying of what the Holy Ghost had taught me (specifically, that these were indeed false and dangerous teachings).

Other than that, I think what we do here may be more important than we realize.  This site and the ones I visited prior to finding this one, has taught me that there's a real need for normal, faithful Mormons on the internet, so that when people come searching for the truth and witnesses thereto, they find it and said witnesses (rather than hateful lies, subtle imitation, or wolves in sheep's clothing).

34 minutes ago, NeedleinA said:

While teaching D&C as the GD Instructor, I could just tell that half the crowd were (sorry to say) mindless zombies sometimes. One day I asked everyone to look up D&C Section 142:14 (or something like that, non-existent ). Everyone started flipping through their scriptures. A couple of them raised their hands for help to further locate it. Took several minutes for them to realize it was a joke. I apparently stunk as a GD Instructor.

With some students, every teacher stinks.  I have taken to doing what we did in the youth curriculum (and you should have seen the looks on the RS sisters' faces) - I ask them to go find a scripture which teaches / relates to the topic we're discussing, then share the scripture and why they chose it.  It's far better, IMO, than the usual "here's my opinion" answers, and from those looks, utterly unheard of in RS lessons.

[zil]

29 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

Needle, this is EXACTLY what I needed to EXACTLY right now.  You hit the bullseye, and a million thank you's.  

Oh sure, just leave us hanging, why don't you!?

[Jane_Doe]

30 minutes ago, zil said:

Oh sure, just leave us hanging, why don't you!?

Just the usual shenanigans: spent yesterday and this morning dealing with people who claim to be followers of Christ, but spend 20+ hrs/wk spamming lies about other faiths (just what Needle was describing), while telling me "if you just come to Jesus you'll know truth".  After having my comments ignored and just having more lies spammed I had to cut off contact- which I really don't like to do and makes me upset, but sometimes it needs done.  

My next thought was "I'll go over to LDS.net, that's a good place."  I clicked over, and first thread that was up was this, and Needle made me feel so much better.

Edited July 16, 2016 by Jane_Doe

[prisonchaplain]

There is an over 3-decade old "Christian Urban Legend" that the then-president of Proctor & Gamble was interviewed on the Phil Donohue (btw, if you know that show you are old ), and that he claimed to be a Satanist, and that P & G 'tithed' its profits to the Church of Satan. Further, that the logo had witchcraft imagery imbedded.  None of it is true, but I would hazard to guess that the story is still floating around.  Now there is a similar fake story out about the creator of Pokémon. Apparently a parody was done on a gaming site, and some Christians ran with it.  I think there is enough darkness in those characters that many parents will keep their younger children away from them.  BUT, if that's the choice, let it be based on real facts. Otherwise, younger generations will indeed just consider us foolish trafficers in blind faith.

P&G rumor found false: http://www.snopes.com/business/alliance/procter.asp

Fake Pokémon-is-Satanist parody: http://www.p4rgaming.com/pokemon-creator-admits-games-aimed-towards-satanists/

Snopes on Pokémon: http://www.snopes.com/pokemon-satanist-anti-christian-inverview/

Edited July 16, 2016 by prisonchaplain
add links

[NeedleinA]

4 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Needle, this is EXACTLY what I needed to EXACTLY right now.  You hit the bullseye, and a million thank you's.  

You are welcome Jane_Doe. I was laying in bed this morning just thinking for a couple of minutes and the idea of this thread came to my mind. Not only the idea, but almost the exact words. I felt I needed to get up and share it today, so I did. Was it meant especially for you today, perhaps it was? I just felt a little prompting and followed it. I thank you for your comment too, it helps me reinforce the fact to simply "act" when prompted, rather debate the feeling and try to push it aside as non-sense. 

4 hours ago, zil said:

Other than that, I think what we do here may be more important than we realize.  This site and the ones I visited prior to finding this one, has taught me that there's a real need for normal, faithful Mormons on the internet, so that when people come searching for the truth and witnesses thereto, they find it and said witnesses (rather than hateful lies, subtle imitation, or wolves in sheep's clothing).

A big Amen Sister Zil! We all come here doing our part to support and uplift each other, even those in the background who lurk reading all of our comments benefit from it.

3 hours ago, prisonchaplain said:

if that's the choice, let it be based on real facts. Otherwise, younger generations will indeed just consider us foolish trafficers in blind faith.

Correct PC. People are welcome to make their own choices, we pray they are making it on real facts and not on twisted half truths or misleading sensationalism. If individuals chose a different path than ours, that is up to them, but at least they made that choice on accurate educated information. 

[Anddenex]

On my mission, misrepresentation of our garments was spread and I would receive a common question, "Do you wear Jesus Jamas"? At first, my response was "No."  Right, we don't wear Jesus Jamas. Toward the middle of my mission I realized the purpose of this sophistry "Jesus Jamas" was to create a no win situation. By saying "No" (without explanation) resulted with a response, "Why did you lie," as the became aware of our garments.

When asked this later, I would respond, "That is a great question, and I can answer, with a "yes" and "no" may I explain"? This resulted in a good teaching opportunity, and with the individually going, "Oh, well that makes more sense." The best part is they then rejected the misrepresentation of "Jesus Jamas." 

I believe this is why the Lord has requested that we all be studied in the scriptures. When a truth is misrepresented the more we know the better we can address the truth within while rejecting sophistry tactics. 

I think it is also important, as members, that we don't misrepresent other religions also.

[Guest]

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

On July 16, 2016 at 11:07 AM, prisonchaplain said:

There is an over 3-decade old "Christian Urban Legend" that the then-president of Proctor & Gamble was interviewed on the Phil Donohue (btw, if you know that show you are old ), and that he claimed to be a Satanist, and that P & G 'tithed' its profits to the Church of Satan.

My husband is convinced that he saw that show, but it wasn't Phil it was Sally Jesse Rafael, and to this day he doesn't like for me to buy Crest or Pringles because they are owned by Proctor and Gamble.  

Now, I'm not saying it's true.  If it were up to me, I would buy Crest because the story is suspicious to me as well.  My husband wouldn't lie, but maybe he remembers this wrong.  Who knows.  I just thought it was interesting to share because it's not something he heard from someone else, but says he saw the show himself. 

[Sunday21]

On July 16, 2016 at 9:47 AM, NeedleinA said:

A lot of this has been a long time coming, but I'm slightly relieved to have this all off my chest finally. Well for some of you this may come as a shock, for others perhaps not. After almost 2 decades of marriage, I felt it was finally time to come clean, so please don't judge me yet, since only God can judge. Here goes... yesterday, I told my wife...
1. While in my younger years while playing a really hard to beat Nintendo game called "Contra", I would often use a "cheat code" to get more lives, UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START
2. I know that at some point I "lied" to one of friends and led him to believe that I was "just that good" at the game.
3. After I told my wife my childhood flaw, I gave her a kiss and told her "I'm leaving" to work now, to have a great day and would see her that night.
4. She reminded me I was in charge of dinner. "Help!", any suggestions on a good lasagna recipe??

On a serious note: Over many years of hearing criticisms of the Church or Gospel, it never ceases to amaze me how much of the information that is out there is "misleading". While the title of my post, "Finally told my wife, I cheated, lied and I'm leaving. Help!" is accurate, taken out of context it sure makes for a sensational headline, that can invoke a completely unwarranted response. I have no problem addressing concerns about honest factual truth, but I am often saddened by the number of people who only see headlines and don't read any further to get any context. This is a common method in which critics try to attack the church & gospel, using a narrative of partial/half truths.   

I have seen these sensational headlines pull people away from their testimonies and also scare investigators away. So how do you personally combat such tactics and strategies in your own lives? 

Haystack! You made me spill my herbal tea! Just kidding. Now I am awake.

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

Haystack! You made me spill my herbal tea! Just kidding. Now I am awake.

Be thankful it was just herbal tea.  I had a chewed up protein bar in my mouth.  Cleaning the monitor will take some time.

[Guest]

On 7/16/2016 at 11:10 AM, Eowyn said:

I almost went to look that up.

You and me both.  This reminds me of your post about never having kissed your husband until you were married.

Edited July 18, 2016 by Guest

[tesuji]

On 7/16/2016 at 7:47 AM, NeedleinA said:

I have seen these sensational headlines pull people away from their testimonies and also scare investigators away. So how do you personally combat such tactics and strategies in your own lives? 

So true. Often headlines about the church are misleading, or even sensationalist (SL Tribune, I'm looking at you....). When Babylon tries to understand and report about Zion, they don't always get it right.

When you look into the actual facts behind the "shocking" headlines, you find there are reasonable answers behind it all.

Often the topics people focus on are extraneous and don't really matter in the larger scheme of what the church and the gospel are about. I would advise people to not get hung up on side issues, or focus so much on one thing that bothers them (that they even may not fully understand) that they forget the larger picture.

Sometimes you also need to just exercises a little faith and trust in God, that this is his church and he's in charge.

Edited July 18, 2016 by tesuji

[LeSellers]

5 minutes ago, tesuji said:

When Babylon tries to understand Zion, they don't always get it right.

Please show where they ever "[got] it right.'

Lehi

[tesuji]

When I'm looking for answers to the "Internet controversies" I find the following helpful:

The church's Gospel Topics essays: 
https://www.lds.org/topics/essays

Fair Mormon, an unofficial apologetics site: 
http://en.fairmormon.org/Main_Page

[NeedleinA]

4 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

My husband is convinced that he saw that show, but it wasn't Phil it was Sally Jesse Rafael, and to this day he doesn't like for me to buy Crest or Pringles because they are owned by Proctor and Gamble.  

Now, I'm not saying it's true.  If it were up to me, I would buy Crest because the story is suspicious to me as well.  My husband wouldn't lie, but maybe he remembers this wrong.  Who knows.  I just thought it was interesting to share because it's not something he heard from someone else, but says he saw the show himself. 

Here is a little info you can tease your hubby about LP. From Sally's Website FAQ (yes, there is an archival website). I think your hubby has simply fallen victim to a rumor/lie that was spread soooo much that others "believe" it actually happened. Proctor & Gamble were harassed for years over their supposed satanic logo, the man in the moon. They finally had to drop it for the current P&G logo now. It is often said that competitors started this rumor to hurt their sales. Did it hurt their Pringles and Crest sales??

Sally listens: (Q)
Rumor has it that the president of Procter and Gamble appeared on your show and said that he was associated with the Church of Satan. I would appreciate more information if you have any, perhaps a tape of the show if available. If this is a hoax, please let me know. 

Sally Sez: (A)
The rumor going around that the president of Procter and Gamble appeared on The Sally Show and announced he was a member of the church of Satan is not true. This a hoax that's been going around in one form or another for the past 20 years...only originally, it concerned the Phil Donahue Show...then evolved to the Jenny Jones Show...and now it's evolved to The Sally Show. The president of Procter and Gamble has NEVER appeared on The Sally Show...NEVER. Nor has any other person in authority at P&G. Any president of a multi-national corporation (including the head of P&G or Liz Claiborne) would be immediately fired by the board of directors if he or she did such a thing. Also, profits from any such corporation go to the stockholders...not a church designated by the president. Do not send money in to get a transcript. We do not provide transcripts or video tapes of our shows to the public. Frankly, this thing has gotten out of hand. If we had this man on our show, and he had said what it's alleged he said, we would have scored a broadcasting scoop and would have trumpeted it to all the newspapers. It would have been to the show's advantage. But there was no scoop, and there were no headlines. 

Edited July 18, 2016 by NeedleinA

[NeedleinA]

23 minutes ago, tesuji said:

When I'm looking for answers to the "Internet controversies" I find the following helpful:

The church's Gospel Topics essays: 
https://www.lds.org/topics/essays

Fair Mormon, an unofficial apologetics site: 
http://en.fairmormon.org/Main_Page

I'll add, AskGramps.org to the list too.