Why be silent?

[Urstadt]

I was wondering what all y'all's thoughts are on this: why are people silent significantly more often than not?

To be clear, I am not asking about why the average person chooses to be silent from time to time. I am asking your thoughts about why people are silent the vast majority of the time.

Thank you.

[Urstadt]

I apologize for the repeat posts. Each time that I click the submit button I didn't get any feedback or anything from the page or the button itself. So I just assumed my browser was glitching.

[zil]

I think maybe we need some context.  Do you mean, "why do people remain silent when they ought to speak up" (e.g. in favor of something good, or opposed to something bad)?  Or "why don't people participate in Sunday School class"?  Or "why don't more people ramble on endlessly?"  Or "why don't people talk in their sleep?"  (OK, those last two were teasing, but really, what's the context?  Honestly, I frequently wish people would be quiet, so I'm wondering the reverse. )

[NeedleinA]

Silence is non-committal, the moment you voice your opinion in most cases you step across that line from observer to being "involved". 
Being involved takes time, effort, brain power, risk and can take you out of your secure comfort zone. There are many folks that simply don't want to commit those kind of resources, are too busy with their own immediate lives, scared or are plain lazy. 

My 2 cents... 
p.s. I just chose to not be silent, so I responded to your post

 

[Urstadt]

24 minutes ago, zil said:

I think maybe we need some context. 

Large context: church, meetings, shooting the bull in social circles, work, bowling with friends, social gatherings on Sunday.

We could also add: "What are great reasons to be silent?"

[NeedleinA]

9 minutes ago, Urstadt said:

 "What are great reasons to be silent?"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -  Abraham Lincoln or Mark Twain?
 

Edited July 26, 2016 by NeedleinA

[Guest MormonGator]

9 minutes ago, Urstadt said:

Large context: church, meetings, shooting the bull in social circles, work, bowling with friends, social gatherings on Sunday.

We could also add: "What are great reasons to be silent?"

 Great reasons-not to make a fool of yourself, not to embarrass others, legal reasons. IE- You might think preaching on your lunch break at work is a good idea but when it lands you in the unemployment line and your kids can't eat, they'll think otherwise.  

[zil]

I agree with @NeedleinA, especially for situations which seem to require choosing sides.

Church: I think people fear man more than God.  (Didn't study the lesson ahead of time, are afraid of what their classmates will think of them, are afraid to be wrong, are afraid that if they speak the idea in their head, they'll be one step closer to having to commit to changing their life accordingly, etc.)

In social situations, I have to wonder if it isn't because our culture has been severely damaged by technology.  We have become passive consumers of entertainment, which now gets "pushed" to us in 140 characters or less, or in the form of video / audio.  A great many of us have lost the ability to concentrate for long periods, to actively engage in constructive activities, to commit to the sort of long-term activities which lead to deeper thought, and more engaging conversation.  But that's just my suspicion.

For myself, most of the conversations I hear are shallow and don't interest me or I have no experience in the area (e.g. kids, their schools, their teachers, their friends; shoes, makeup, hairstyles, blah blah blah), so I simply have nothing to say on the topic.  The topics I'm interested will require an intense 2-hour conversation and I literally do not know a single person who is interested in committing to a 2-hour conversation on a single topic (well, my dad, but it would have to be in person, and that's maybe once a year).  So I've got nothing to say.

[zil]

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-07-15

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-07-16

 

[Guest MormonGator]

12 minutes ago, zil said:

 

For myself, most of the conversations I hear are shallow and don't interest me 

It's shocking you've been my fifth wife for ten years now. I'm the most shallow person on earth! 

[NeedleinA]

15 minutes ago, zil said:

Church: I think people fear man more than God.  (Didn't study the lesson ahead of time, are afraid of what their classmates will think of them, are afraid to be wrong, are afraid that if they speak the idea in their head, they'll be one step closer to having to commit to changing their life accordingly, etc.)

I have found this to be the tragedy of going to Church for a great deal of folks. 
How was Church today? "It was boring" "I didn't learn anything" "Same old thing" "Teacher is a snoozer"

Did you contribute or participate? "Well no"

What a night and day difference it is at Church to speak up, ask a question, share a thought, engage in a conversation even if it is for a minute.
Even if you have zero doctrinal insight on a matter, share a brief testimony. You can personally engage the Spirit yourself, and suddenly Sunday/Church can be an actual delight instead of a chore or checklist requirement.  

Each Sunday, I make a conscience effort to specifically say/share something in each class. When I don't and sit like a zombie, I do a disservice to myself, and disservice in strengthening my own testimony. 

Edited July 26, 2016 by NeedleinA

[NeedleinA]

12 minutes ago, zil said:

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-07-15

http://dilbert.com/strip/2016-07-16

 

Ouch! 

[seussreader]

3 hours ago, NeedleinA said:

Silence is non-committal, the moment you voice your opinion in most cases you step across that line from observer to being "involved". 
Being involved takes time, effort, brain power, risk and can take you out of your secure comfort zone. There are many folks that simply don't want to commit those kind of resources, are too busy with their own immediate lives, scared or are plain lazy.

 

I remain silent 99% of the time.  I fear others and their reactions even when I believe most people have good intentions.  It's something I'm working on.  I've been reading this site for many years and never posted anything until this year.  I've had some or all of the thoughts mentioned above.  All that being said, here I am stepping out of my comfort zone to give my thoughts.

[Guest]

I am trying to learn to be silent more often. There's never harm in listening a little longer. 

[zil]

6 hours ago, Eowyn said:

I am trying to learn to be silent more often. There's never harm in listening a little longer. 

This is an active silence - a virtue if ever there was one.  Unfortunately, many are still in oblivious-silence mode (definitely not a virtue).

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Urstadt said:

Large context: church, meetings, shooting the bull in social circles, work, bowling with friends, social gatherings on Sunday.

We could also add: "What are great reasons to be silent?"

You might as well ask "Why do some people eat more than others?"  Very similar answers, actually.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Eowyn said:

I am trying to learn to be silent more often. There's never harm in listening a little longer. 

I'm trying  as well.  In fact, many find me VERY trying.

Edited July 26, 2016 by Guest

[Budget]

Genetics... culture of their family... introvert verses extrovert.

Similar to these boards. Some are content to read posts for years and never feel the need or want to jump in and 'speak'.  Others feel content to jump in and say something on almost every post.  Posts are conversations; some take part and some are happier to listen, thinking things in their own head they don't feel the need to express out loud. 

Really this question goes hand in hand with 'communication' in any setting; groups, church, standing in line at the grocery store, marriage. Some people are vocal and can't understand how others can just be happy to remain quiet and not jump in and talk. Others are quiet and can't imagine being the kind of personality that wants to talk all the time. 

 

[anatess2]

11 hours ago, Urstadt said:

We could also add: "What are great reasons to be silent?"

Do not speak unless you can improve the silence.

 

My problem is I can't shut up.

[Rhoades]

11 hours ago, Urstadt said:

Large context: church, meetings, shooting the bull in social circles, work, bowling with friends, social gatherings on Sunday.

We could also add: "What are great reasons to be silent?"

1) So you can hear other people.

2) So you are pleasant to be around and not disruptive.

3) It would become too exhausting if you continually produced sound.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, zil said:

This is an active silence - a virtue if ever there was one.  Unfortunately, many are still in oblivious-silence mode (definitely not a virtue).

My brother would call those people "obliviots". 

[Blackmarch]

17 hours ago, Urstadt said:

I was wondering what all y'all's thoughts are on this: why are people silent significantly more often than not?

To be clear, I am not asking about why the average person chooses to be silent from time to time. I am asking your thoughts about why people are silent the vast majority of the time.

Thank you.

'tis better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. if something starts feeling argumentive i leave the thread... i generally also want to be able to say something that has value and can be understood.

[SilentOne]

1. I'm more interested in what other people are saying than anything I have to say.

2. I feel like the others know more about the subject than I do so I listen to learn.

3. I think saying something would lead to an argument I don't have energy for that will change nobody's mind.

[bytebear]

I wish more people would say quilt loudly at a department store "Well, that's just inappropriate".  So much behavior and dress that needs to be acknowledged and condemned.

[Traveler]

Sometimes logic is so far from the discussion and personal opinion so far from the mark it is obvious that someone has not done their homework and is offended by simple truth.  Example,  someone(s) is having trouble trying to get some electrical device to work.  You can feel the anger in their 4 letter words.  So you walk up, tap someone on the shoulder and say, "Maybe if you plugged it in."  Oddly enough the longer they have thought their anger at the device was justified (something is wrong with it) - the more they will hate you for telling them the answer is pilot error. And if it has anything to do with religion or politics - not only will they hate you but they will not believe it.  Even if it is the bright sun of noon day - they will say it is night.

 

The Traveler