alilc Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 I've liked this one guy for 5 years, but he moved two years ago. We kept in contact. There's a chance we could end up together; but even if we don't, it's okay cause he's such a great friend. I get to see him in a month. And I'll probably cry because of happiness and disbelief but since he doesn't feel the same I don't want to look dumb. Any suggestions on what I should do?(I have no clue what's going to happen) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my two cents Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 If you are the one keeping the relationship going (ie doing most of the reaching out), then it's been too long and you need to let it go. Something to keep in mind is that if you're hanging on to the idea of him, you're not open to what might come your way. Sunday21, Backroads, seashmore and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 I think of a big component of "when is it time to let go" depends on the resources you're putting into the relationship and what your expectations are. If you're hoping for a romantic connection, and putting lots of resources into this that it closes you off from other opportunities... then it's probably time to let it go. If the guy ever changes his mind and then wants to date you, you can rekindle feelings then. But don't sit around putting your life on hold in the mean time. seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted June 16, 2017 Report Share Posted June 16, 2017 (edited) Forever is not long enough. You don't have to not-like someone to move on with your life. You just need to understand the difference between liking someone and wanting that someone to like you back. You can like someone without needing him to like you back. We're commanded to love our neighbors. A romantic relationship develops when you like someone and he likes you back. So, go find/ meet/get to know/be friends with/like as many likeable people as you can. Eventually, you'll find the guy who will like you back. Edited June 16, 2017 by anatess2 seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted June 19, 2017 Report Share Posted June 19, 2017 Love always involves a degree of vulnerability. You cannot love without accepting the possibility, and even the willingness, that you will be hurt. So you might have to look dumb. You might have to wear your heart on your sleeve. You might have to put yourself in situations you would prefer not to be in. You might have to expose yourself to the possibility of being hurt. That's how love works. As Benjamin Franklin once said, "nothing ventured, nothing gained" meaning if you don't risk anything, you won't gain anything. I say, take the risk rather than die wandering what might have happened. You've known this guy for 60 months. Surely you can wait for just one more month? I think its worth waiting a month until you are back in the same country. I don't think you should make any major decisions about the future of this friendships until either you've met face to face, or it becomes clear from his lack of response, or disinterested responses, that you are never likely to meet. If it does look like you will never meet, then wrap up your memories in a nice box with a nice ribbon and file them away under the headings "happy memories," "lessons learned" and "people who are(were?) special to me." seashmore 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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