unbreakable Posted July 15, 2018 Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 I'm a convert to the church and I've been a member for nearly a year. I was going to go on a mission, but the Spirit prompted me to marry a close friend and fellow convert to the church as well. He was baptized recently and I'm having trouble explaining how important the temple is to us, not revealing anything sacred, and I plan to be married by the bishop in our ward. My mom wants to understand and what's the best way that I can talk to her about it? Our bishop is going to talk to her and she wants to talk to him to understand. How should I handle the situation if my uncle, a Southern Baptist minister, goes on an anti-Mormon lecture? I've heard tons of anti-Mormon stuff for a year now and some people just quit talking to me since I joined. I hear many misconceptions and most won't listen to me when I try to respectfully explain the gospel to them. What should I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prisonchaplain Posted July 15, 2018 Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 I'm the closest to a Southern Baptist minister as you'll get here (my church is Assemblies of God), so I'll offer some non-LDS suggestions. First, how great that your mother is open to discussion. At least you don't face the full-blown opposition of your parents. If your mother remains willing to learn and understand, let her be your advocate with the family (at least as much as she will be). Concerning your uncle, he likely believes you are in danger of hell--especially if you had been committed to a Baptist-like faith before. So long as he does not disrupt family meals, gatherings, or events, you will probably do well to endure his side comments with as much grace as possible. If he starts a lecture that is in front of the family, you may want to discuss this with whichever parent is his sibling--asking if they would be willing to run a little interference, because you do not want family gatherings to end up being all about you. Then there is the wise counsel that LDS, Baptists and Assemblies of God folk all agree on--the best behaved person usually wins the most respect for his/her religion. So, be the best. zil, anatess2, unbreakable and 4 others 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted July 15, 2018 Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 Welcome, @unbreakable! (Sorry, I can't add anything to PC's answer, but I'm sure someone will be by eventually who has more to suggest.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwest LDS Posted July 15, 2018 Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 I'm sorry you are going through this, but know you are not alone. My family were active non-denominational Christians before my Mom and I got baptized, and they were less than thrilled to hear we were meeting with the missionaries. My uncle even gave my mom a copy of a prominent Anti-mormon film at the time. Fortunately, she felt prompted not to watch it and all was well in time. My family eventually came around to accepting if not agreeing with our decision, we are all about love in our family and they saw our devotion to Christ, but it took a while. I can't promise that outcome for you, as every person is different, but letting your faith in Jesus Christ shine through your actions is the best way to begin winning hearts and minds. As James says in the Bible, paraphrased, show them your faith by your works. Also, in addition to explaining how important it is to you and your husband to have an eternal marriage, you could hold a ring ceremony after your sealing. Many LDS who have non member relatives do this, I did myself, and it helps them feel included in your wedding. You don't exchange vows in the ring ceremony, that's saved for the temple, but my wife and I explained why we loved each other so much, and exchanged rings with each other in front of my entire family. It was special, and it really helped my non member father and grandmother feel like they were part of the wedding. Best of luck to you. unbreakable 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinwater Posted July 15, 2018 Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 11 hours ago, prisonchaplain said: I'm the closest to a Southern Baptist minister as you'll get here (my church is Assemblies of God), so I'll offer some non-LDS suggestions. First, how great that your mother is open to discussion. At least you don't face the full-blown opposition of your parents. If your mother remains willing to learn and understand, let her be your advocate with the family (at least as much as she will be). Concerning your uncle, he likely believes you are in danger of hell--especially if you had been committed to a Baptist-like faith before. So long as he does not disrupt family meals, gatherings, or events, you will probably do well to endure his side comments with as much grace as possible. If he starts a lecture that is in front of the family, you may want to discuss this with whichever parent is his sibling--asking if they would be willing to run a little interference, because you do not want family gatherings to end up being all about you. Then there is the wise counsel that LDS, Baptists and Assemblies of God folk all agree on--the best behaved person usually wins the most respect for his/her religion. So, be the best. Perfectly said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakable Posted July 15, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 (edited) 5 hours ago, Midwest LDS said: I'm sorry you are going through this, but know you are not alone. My family were active non-denominational Christians before my Mom and I got baptized, and they were less than thrilled to hear we were meeting with the missionaries. My uncle even gave my mom a copy of a prominent Anti-mormon film at the time. Fortunately, she felt prompted not to watch it and all was well in time. My family eventually came around to accepting if not agreeing with our decision, we are all about love in our family and they saw our devotion to Christ, but it took a while. I can't promise that outcome for you, as every person is different, but letting your faith in Jesus Christ shine through your actions is the best way to begin winning hearts and minds. As James says in the Bible, paraphrased, show them your faith by your works. Also, in addition to explaining how important it is to you and your husband to have an eternal marriage, you could hold a ring ceremony after your sealing. Many LDS who have non member relatives do this, I did myself, and it helps them feel included in your wedding. You don't exchange vows in the ring ceremony, that's saved for the temple, but my wife and I explained why we loved each other so much, and exchanged rings with each other in front of my entire family. It was special, and it really helped my non member father and grandmother feel like they were part of the wedding. Best of luck to you. Thank you! At first my mom thought that I was joining a cult and told me so, but after she attended my baptism and began seeing more Christlike behaviour coming from me, she began to see what good that joining the LDS church had done for me. My brother is still pretty anti-Mormon in his views of the church, but he keeps his views to himself and we just don't talk about religion. Things have improved since then and my family relations have improved. The gospel, overall, has made my life so much happier. I wholeheartedly agree that letting faith in Jesus Christ show through actions show that we're Christians as well, and I think that she can see it. My uncle is another story and probably want to give me a lecture on *any anti-Mormon "information" that he can find. I pray this goes well. Edited July 15, 2018 by unbreakable Typos. Midwest LDS and Jane_Doe 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakable Posted July 15, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2018 14 hours ago, prisonchaplain said: I'm the closest to a Southern Baptist minister as you'll get here (my church is Assemblies of God), so I'll offer some non-LDS suggestions. First, how great that your mother is open to discussion. At least you don't face the full-blown opposition of your parents. If your mother remains willing to learn and understand, let her be your advocate with the family (at least as much as she will be). Concerning your uncle, he likely believes you are in danger of hell--especially if you had been committed to a Baptist-like faith before. So long as he does not disrupt family meals, gatherings, or events, you will probably do well to endure his side comments with as much grace as possible. If he starts a lecture that is in front of the family, you may want to discuss this with whichever parent is his sibling--asking if they would be willing to run a little interference, because you do not want family gatherings to end up being all about you. Then there is the wise counsel that LDS, Baptists and Assemblies of God folk all agree on--the best behaved person usually wins the most respect for his/her religion. So, be the best. Thanks for the advice. It should be helpful in my encounters with my uncle. Jane_Doe 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latter-Day Marriage Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 The whole conflict resolution approach is a good thing do to. Let them fully express their concerns so they feel that they have been heard, but insist they do it in a loving and respectful way. Provide the best answers you can for their concerns (that doesn't mean YOU have to answer them, you can send them links or other info/people to help them), and emphasize that you have to do what you feel is right. While you can't give out certain details, you can give them general evaluations, like 'There is nothing in the wedding ceremony that is contrary to what the Bible says'. 'We just kneel at an alter and make a vow to Heavenly Father to be the kind of spouse he would want us to be.' 'It is a simple ceremony with nothing unusual about it.' While it is nice to have the approval and support of all your family, don't lose sight of the fact that you do not need approval or permission from any of them. You are an adult and if they are not going to respect your choice and celebrate your wedding then they probably should not be there. I wouldn't put it to them in exactly those terms, but a wedding reception is a celebration and if they are going to celebrate it, why go? If they are not hard hearted then it should be possible to lead them to the point of respecting your shoice and wishing you well, even if they don't agree. You can also ask them to pray and ask God what He things of it too. Personal revelation is not just for Mormons. unbreakable 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 @unbreakable Welcome! Hope all goes well. A tricky situation! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakable Posted July 16, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said: The whole conflict resolution approach is a good thing do to. Let them fully express their concerns so they feel that they have been heard, but insist they do it in a loving and respectful way. Provide the best answers you can for their concerns (that doesn't mean YOU have to answer them, you can send them links or other info/people to help them), and emphasize that you have to do what you feel is right. While you can't give out certain details, you can give them general evaluations, like 'There is nothing in the wedding ceremony that is contrary to what the Bible says'. 'We just kneel at an alter and make a vow to Heavenly Father to be the kind of spouse he would want us to be.' 'It is a simple ceremony with nothing unusual about it.' While it is nice to have the approval and support of all your family, don't lose sight of the fact that you do not need approval or permission from any of them. You are an adult and if they are not going to respect your choice and celebrate your wedding then they probably should not be there. I wouldn't put it to them in exactly those terms, but a wedding reception is a celebration and if they are going to celebrate it, why go? If they are not hard hearted then it should be possible to lead them to the point of respecting your shoice and wishing you well, even if they don't agree. You can also ask them to pray and ask God what He things of it too. Personal revelation is not just for Mormons. I'll take your advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakable Posted July 16, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 13 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said: You can also ask them to pray and ask God what He things of it too. Personal revelation is not just for Mormons. By the way, I never thought of personal revelation like that before. That should really help and maybe other family members might want to understand as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mordorbund Posted July 16, 2018 Report Share Posted July 16, 2018 https://www.lds.org/temples/what-happens-in-a-temple-sealing?lang=eng Most of the principles taught in this article are supported by your mother. You can start there. Midwest LDS, NeedleinA and unbreakable 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unbreakable Posted July 17, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2018 14 hours ago, mordorbund said: https://www.lds.org/temples/what-happens-in-a-temple-sealing?lang=eng Most of the principles taught in this article are supported by your mother. You can start there. Thanks! I'll send her this link. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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