Why so solemn during meetings?

[RachelleDrew]

Sorry if the title of this message is vague, i'll try my best to elaborate.

I was raised in a Charismatic church (essentially it was Pentecostal) and anyone that has any experience with churches like this known that their services are VERY different in nature than that of an LDS meeting.

Anyway, long story short after many years, I fell away from my old church and began dating a guy who was raised in LDS. He's really taught me a lot, and I feel myself growing very fond of the church. I wanted to become more involved, and I began meeting with missionaries and doing studies with him.

When I read the Mormon scriptures and speak with my new Mormon associates, I truly feel like i've finally found the truth of the world. It's a great feeling.

Attending meetings in the church is another business entirely. I have a really hard time going to meetings. The environment is VERY different from what i'm used to, and I don't feel the spirit in the least when I enter the LDS church. In fact, more often than not i'm offended.

It seems like nobody pays attention to whoever is talking while at the mic, there is so much irrelevant whispering and chattering at the Ward I go to! Is this common at all Wards/Branches? In the Charismatic scene, when at church you talk about Christ, not your everyday business, and our attention was on the speaker (or obviously God.)

And the ones who are paying attention show little to no emotion about the subject at hand. It's almost like they are bored! I don't understand how you could be lackluster while in the presence of God. I get really excited and happy when I hear people teaching the gospel, i'm so used to dancing and cheering when in the Lord's house.

Obviously a lot of this is just me being used to a lot of energy and noise from the Pentecostal churches I attended growing up. But it's so hard to feel passion inside of the LDS church! I get so excited and worked up when reading the scripture at home, but it's like a real downer whenever I get inside a meeting.

Is this sort of behavior expected of all meetings? If so, why is that? I don't want to be cutting down the church because i'm super interested in taking things further. I just want to feel some emotion other than frustration when I enter the LDS church.

[cgrantreed]

Well... Unfortunately almost every ward I have ever been in is relatively solemn. With you having come from a charismatic church I can imagine the SHOCK:D The LDS meetings are not necessarily supposed to be solemn per se but are supposed to be reverent and contemplative. When you have lay ministry...members of the ward doing the talks over the pulpit... some people just suck at putting talks together or they do a great job at the talks but are just so monotone that its hard to listen to them. I am attending a ward now that has some pretty entertaining people in it and we have had some pretty funny meetings but the spirit of the chapel is supposed to be reverent and not loud or "stirred up".

Reverence means that people are supposed to be paying attention to what is being said instead of being rude to the speaker and chatting about whats for lunch after the meeting. Kids will be kids and they tend to get a little loud which is fine. I know that Christian faiths can go from dead silent (like a morgue... makes you want to check your pulse and see if you are still alive) to moderate (like LDS faith meetings, a little noisy but still possible to nap during sacrament) to charismatic (jumping and dancing in the aisles, praise bands and hopped up sermons powered by Mt Dew and Rockstar energy drinks). I chose the LDS faith because of the doctrine and what I feel is proper for me personally. I get what I need for the week out of the meetings and I am just used to it as I have been in the church for a long time.

Not sure what to tell you about being offended by the lack of action. I can understand how much of a change that would be to go from where you were to a snoozer of a meeting schedule. That would be tough. I however feel like you do when I tried to attend a southern baptist meeting with a friend one time. It just felt too much like the world to me...loud and crazy... and not reverent and spiritually organized. Guess its in how you look at it.

[RachelleDrew]

Kids will be kids and they tend to get a little loud which is fine. ]

The issue I have with the chit-chat isn't the children, it's the adults.

I expect children to act up during services. Not full-grown adults. I get extremely offended when I can't hear the speaker, but I can hear the woman behind me talking about what her family has in the crock-pot for lunch. Or the man beside me whispering (loudly) about how his legs hurt.

If they were talking about the word of God or the message of the speaker, that wouldn't bother me in the least.

At the ward i've attended, this is the problem i've encountered. Adults either not paying attention at all, or acting like they are bored by the services.

Perhaps i'm just too sensitive? I just want to enjoy meetings and feel that fire like I do when I enjoy my personal study time. Are we not supposed to or something?

I would mention this to the missionaries or the bishop, but I don't want to hurt any of their feelings.

[prisonchaplain]

Rachelle, just so you know what may be coming...I have spoken to some LDS who've experienced pentecostal/charismatic services. Speaking subjectively of course, they said they sensed chaos, and did not feel the Spirit was directing. Me? I can worship in most settings where Jesus is lifted up, but, yes, the stoic, somber type services force me to offer "the sacrifice of praise." :-)

[RachelleDrew]

, but, yes, the stoic, somber type services force me to offer "the sacrifice of praise." :-)

Sorry, but can you explain what you mean by that?

I'm not very smart, so a lot of these phrases don't make a lot of sense to me. Sorry.

[prisonchaplain]

Sorry, but can you explain what you mean by that?

I'm not very smart, so a lot of these phrases don't make a lot of sense to me. Sorry.

Okay. I thought that was a common charismatic phrase...Scripture commands that we offer up sacrifices of praise. We sometimes say we don't feel like worshipping God, but we'll do so anyway, as a "sacrifice of praise." Ergo, if a service is particularly solemn, dull, or dry, we might not enjoy it, or "feel the Spirit," but nevertheless, we'll offer "the sacrifice of praise."

Does that make sense?

[NateHowe]

It comes down to the purpose of the meeting: To partake of the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper. It is a solemn event. It should be treated with much more reverence than we as Latter-day Saints give it. The rest of the meeting should be in keeping with that spirit.

Now, some among us have moved from reverence and respect to non-reverent semi-quiet activity, like chatting in whispers, doing crossword puzzles, or whatever else. This is not right. But the problem is not solemnity - it is actually a lack of solemnity among us. Solemnity does not mean somberness or sadness. We should worship the Lord with glad hearts and vigorous singing of the hymns, with active participation in the learning that takes place in Sacrament Meeting. However, we must not lose sight of the solemn Sacrament as the focal point of the meeting.

[RachelleDrew]

^It makes sense yes prisonchaplain. As for the phrase itself, it may be common in other charismatic churches, but I never heard it in mine LOL.

I think it's reasonable to just suck it up and deal with it more or less. However, I just wish that it didn't have to be that way. It's really been making me despondent recently. I dread going back to meetings but I so want to be there.

It's just hard because I feel like God is pushing me towards the LDS for a reason. But i've never felt so dead upon entering a church.

And Nate, nobody in my ward sings the hymns vigorously. Lol. It's a lot of mumbling to the tune of a piano to me. : D I would sing a lot more vigorously, but I don't know any of the songs yet so I have to follow along in the hymnals.

Just confusing I suppose. I'll get over it in time. Thank you for your answers everyone.

[prisonchaplain]

Maybe I should start a pentecostal LDS faction? J/K!

[Iggy]

I don't think our Sacrament Meeting is solemn, it is Respectfull and Reverent.

[NateHowe]

Rachelle, it might be good to approach the Bishop and say something like this with kindness (no malice, or it will come off all wrong):

"Bishop, what can we as ward members do to improve the spirituality of our Sacrament meetings? I feel like we aren't listening, we aren't singing, and we need to do better. How can I help?"

Watch out - a speaking assignment may come your way! But seriously, an honest expression of your concern may bring the problem back into focus for him.

[LadyPoet6]

I am brand new here, and a convert since I was 17. LOL But, I think sometimes the best way to feel that fire...is to bring it to the meeting yourself. I know what you mean about grown people talking and whispering, sometimes my very own grown kids are guilty of that. LOL

Why not offer that fire in your testimony meeting? I'm not asking you to break into song, or anything of that sort, but bring a reverent fire for the gospel to the meeting. Many times people (like my grown children) take it for granted, because they have been raised in the gospel, and they don't realize how it feels for those of us who weren't raised with it. We want to sing it, we want to shout it. I know, I know.

I have to constantly remind them what it felt like for me, when I first joined the church.

LadyPoet

[inthearmsofsleep]

Before you go to church next Sunday, fast and pray for the Holy Ghost to let you feel that spirit that is missing from the meeting. I've found that through that approach, even the most mundane of children's pre-written talks can speak to my soul. We're entitled to feel that spirit in the most chaotic of settings, so why not in a moderately quiet room full of people who aren't paying attention? Don't let them deprive you of a great Sunday... our members aren't perfect but in this church we all have the resources available to strive for perfection and grow as close to God as possible while in this life, no matter what anybody else is doing with their time. Be their example.

[Canuck Mormon]

I can sort of relate to this as our ward is very noisy. We do have a lot of children in our ward and they contribute to the noise, but the parents don't quiet their kids. If a baby is crying, take it out into the hall. In our ward there are kids running up and down the isles with the parents sitting there doing nothing. I can be very distracting. I just try and concentrate on the speakers, and if I can't hear them, I pull out my lesson manual or scriptures and read them until I can hear them.

[pushka]

I've only been back to church on Sundays 4 times, but I have witnessed people behind me whispering quite loudly during somebody's talk. I do find it distracting, especially as I can't hear very well to begin with, some people do not use the microphone to their best advantage, and some people just mumble their talks...but I try not to be too distracted, and try to keep in mind the main message of the talks that particular week..there's usually at least 1 speaker who is loud enough and confident enough to talk brilliantly, so the message generally does get through.

[Elgama]

I have my own quiet book I originally made it for my daughter with pictures of the saviour, words of poems and songs and some talks from the conference. I use that when it gets rowdy which ours does due to primary currently being our biggest active auxillary we are well and truly out numbered by the kids.

Sacrament doesn' t have to be solemn I know ours provides lots of fun from the wives shouting out missed announcements to just a slight sense of humour sometimes

-Charley

[WillowTheWhisp]

We have been told that we shouldn't shout out to people on the stand, even if they have missed announcing something. If it's really important we should get a note passed to whoever is conducting the meeting.

I don't go to church to be entertained, although we have had some speakers who are very entertaining and tell stories which make us laugh. I go to church to worship Heavenly Father, to take sacrament and renew my commitment to the Gospel. If I don't go with the right spirit then I find I am critical of the speakers. If I do go with the right spirit then it doesn't matter how talented or gifted a speaker is, if they have the spirit with them then I gain something. I remember being told in a lesson once that it's not about what you take from a sacrament meeting so much as what you bring to it.

I suppose we are lucky in our Ward that we do have some quite hearty hymn singing and I always enjoy the hymns. From time to time we have had talks on the importance of hymns in our worship - maybe that helps. Sometimes we have a piano, very rarely we have the organ but there are times when we even sing 'acapulco' because there is no-one available who can play and yet we still sing our little hearts out.

I'm afraid that I find the all singing all dancing hand clapping 'praise the Lord!' type churches seem quite irreverent to me because all that chaos seems to get in the way of spiritual feelings and the 'still small voice'.

I too find adult whisperings to be incredibly irreverent. One of the worst is an adult telling a child to be quiet and telling them what privileges they will forfeit if they don't sit still. The adult often makes much more noise than the child.

However, having said all that, we don't go to church for the other people (good or bad experiences) we go to church for ourselves and for the Lord. If we believe the Church is true then we can overcome the obstacles in our way

[Elgama]

We have been told that we shouldn't shout out to people on the stand, even if they have missed announcing something. If it's really important we should get a note passed to whoever is conducting the meeting.

I

I have to say that its some older members that shout out its a small branch and more is tolerated from the older and younger members than can be in a ward plus our branch presidency as wonderful as they are the worlds most forgetful group of men (despite two of them being under 50) Like our Stake President said we had to learn to run it like a branch and not a ward- our kids can wander around and sit with different people, in a way you couldn't let happen in a larger ward.

-Charley

[daviddstoker]

I understand the descriptions of solemn and reverent but I also think LDS people have a very high toleration for boredom in their meetings. I think a lot of it comes from the New Englander/British cultural heritage that came down through the pioneers as far as the style of our meetings. I also agree with a previous comment that when you have a lay clergy and the speakers are just pulled from the congregation you are going to get people who are not great public speakers, people who are not great teachers, and even questionable doctrine. And agree that at some point you go to meetings not because you expect to have an exhilarating experience but out of loyalty and as a physical 'vote' with your body and time that you will support the church and other members, even with all it's warts and imperfections.

The solution is not to abandon the company of the Saints but to promote better habits and a little more flare in your circle of influence. The American culture of the Church will never go so far as to jumping up and down with high energy but there is a lot of room to add energy and shape the future culture of the Church.

[Alma 5:45-46]

We believe in reverent meetings because, as President Boyd K. Packer has said, "Reverence invites revelation." As for people chatting and not paying attention, that is unfortunate and, if it disrups others from listening to what is being taught, or otherwise interupts the purpose of the meeting, someone should speak to the bishop about it and, if he feels it necessary, he will counsel the ward from the pulpit about it.

[Maya]

Well come to our services..and dont forget the hanky... I hope you can tolerate a kid or two running around... Altough I DO have to say the respect in the ward I came here from was totally different, even kids behaved....

It is sad as some grownups cant ... wait with their important messages to one an other... hapens in the sundayschool all too often...

[Brother Dorsey]

All too often members of the church loose sight of the true meaning of the Sacrament meeting. It becomes like a club meeting to them with the noisy wandering around visiting before the start of the meeting and the lackluster noisy visiting in the chapel after the meeting. The chapel or Sacrament hall is a holy place, a dedicated and consecrated place. It is a place of quiet and reverence and should be received as such. As saints we are not perfect, we enjoy the social aspect of being members of the church and it carries over to the sacred Sacrament services where we should be reverent in all we do. In regards to "worshiping" and "praising the Lord" it is something that all saints should be doing ALL THE TIME in their hearts and actions to their fellow man.

The three one hour "blocks" are for renewing covenants and learning the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I've seen saints go to Sacrament and then leave feeling they really have learned all they can so why should they stay? Want to really learn something? Then sit in a Gospel principles class sometime, you will find the Spirit there in great power.

Remember.....the Gospel is perfect.....the saints are not!

[Aelswyth]

I can sort of relate to this as our ward is very noisy. We do have a lot of children in our ward and they contribute to the noise, but the parents don't quiet their kids. If a baby is crying, take it out into the hall. In our ward there are kids running up and down the isles with the parents sitting there doing nothing. I can be very distracting. I just try and concentrate on the speakers, and if I can't hear them, I pull out my lesson manual or scriptures and read them until I can hear them.

Trust me, the kids messing around being kids is much less distracting than the parents having to try and stop them every 2 minutes (quietly!), or physically restrain them, resulting in tantrums and upsets. Kids can't be forced to sit still and be silent, it just doesn't work!!! Parents get used to tuning out the noise while watching TV or movies, and maybe sometimes forget that childless people haven't had that practice. But the child-friendly nature of LDS meetings is one of the things I so love about the Church, especially since most of the mainstream world has gotten downright hostile towards children. I guess that's what happens when people have fewer and fewer kids, society doesn't know what they're like and loses all tolerance for normal childlike behavior; but the Church still maintains that laid-back, child-friendly environment typical of healthy, family-oriented cultures.

Back to the original question on this thread, yes, I have noticed that often people are just chatting during talks and don't seem to be truly engaged in the Spirit or taking the messages to heart. It is a bit discouraging sometimes. And although there are usually a couple of people who will get up and cry while speaking, for the most part there is not much emotion displayed. The prevailing mood seems to be one of tearful thanks rather than rapturous joy (not that there's anything wrong with tearful thanks, but I think there should be some kind of balance!).

Generally, though, I find the atmosphere of the meetings one of warmth, gratitude and deep peace. Perhaps it is this inner peacefulness that comes across as somber or solemn to some folks.

[Canuck Mormon]

Trust me, the kids messing around being kids is much less distracting than the parents having to try and stop them every 2 minutes (quietly!), or physically restrain them, resulting in tantrums and upsets. Kids can't be forced to sit still and be silent, it just doesn't work!!! Parents get used to tuning out the noise while watching TV or movies, and maybe sometimes forget that childless people haven't had that practice.

My child sits nice and quiet during Sacrament, if he needs to leave he asks quietly.

But the child-friendly nature of LDS meetings is one of the things I so love about the Church, especially since most of the mainstream world has gotten downright hostile toward children. I guess that's what happens when people have fewer and fewer kids, society doesn't know what they're like and loses all tolerance for normal childlike behavior; but the Church still maintains that laid-back, child-friendly environment typical of healthy, family-oriented cultures.

It's got nothing to do with tolerance toward children. It's parents not teaching children respect for others and places. I find it sad that you think telling a child to be quiet is being "hostile" to the child.

Now I'm not talking about infants or toddler's. Yes, they're pretty much going to do what they're going to do. I'm talking about the older kids (5-9). I remember as a child being punished for talking loudly, and hardly any children ran up and down the isles. What happened?

[Aelswyth]

My child sits nice and quiet during Sacrament, if he needs to leave he asks quietly.

So does mine, most of the time. But I also understand that sometimes, when children are bored, tired, hungry, sick, or just excited and filled with youthful exuberance, it can be very difficult for them to control themselves.

It's got nothing to do with tolerance toward children. It's parents not teaching children respect for others and places. I find it sad that you think telling a child to be quiet is being "hostile" to the child.

What's not about tolerance toward children? If you mean your statements about church, then I did not intend that comment about society in general to apply to you and your personal expectations of children. However, I stand by my comment about society's intolerance towards children; I have seen and heard people complain about a child laughing loudly in a restaurant, or the mere presence of young children in certain public places where, presumably, those folks would rather forget about the existence of the young of their own species.

I do not think it hostile to tell a child to be quiet. I think teaching children to be quiet and respectful is certainly necessary and the duty of any conscientious parent. What I was talking about was the unrealistic expectation that children are somehow supposed to be silent and still all the time, or even most of the time. That is what I find hostile to the child, because it fails to take into account the basic nature of childhood.

Now I'm not talking about infants or toddler's. Yes, they're pretty much going to do what they're going to do. I'm talking about the older kids (5-9). I remember as a child being punished for talking loudly, and hardly any children ran up and down the isles. What happened?

In that age-range, I absolutely agree with you. I was referring to younger children throughout my post, not children old enough to understand the expectations placed on them in such situations. I don't see any reason why children over 4 should be running in the aisles or disrupting the meeting with loud noise. That would annoy me also.