Being Inactive

[Aphrodite]

ok, the thread on conversion stories has got me thinking-For those of you who have been inactive and come back to the church: Why did you go inactive? Was it one trigger or a number of things? What did you think about the church while you were inactive? What made you come back and were you stronger before or after you were inactive?

[NeuroTypical]

Why did you go inactive?

My mom's health failed to the point where she couldn't make me to go church any more. Basically, I never had any testimony of the church growing up, and finally quit going when my buddies either went inactive too or went on missions.

What did you think about the church while you were inactive?

You'd think I'd have an opinion after all those sundays learning about stuff, but truth be told, I was as dense as a brick and very little sunk in. All I thought about the church was sort of a half-formed understanding that I didn't know enough to form an opinion. As far as active members, I found some of them wonderful people, some of them annoying.

What made you come back and were you stronger before or after you were inactive?

I finally acted on a genuine desire to find out the truth. Obviously, given my screen name, I'm stronger after than before.

LM

[Moksha]

Like many young people I had high minded ideals. The racial purity ban of the Priesthood offended my ideals.

[Canuck Mormon]

I stopped going because I liked to do other things, like golf, play football, drink, that sort of thing, on a Sunday. I defended the church to some criticisms over those years. Out of all the churches I attended on occasion, it seemed to best fit with my personal beliefs. During the rough patch in my life I came back. I'm not sure if I had a testimony before, but I do now.

[Guest tomk]

ok, the thread on conversion stories has got me thinking-For those of you who have been inactive and come back to the church: Why did you go inactive? Was it one trigger or a number of things? What did you think about the church while you were inactive? What made you come back and were you stronger before or after you were inactive?

What a fantastic question!

Seriously!

When I think about my period of inactivity, vs now, I think the common thread was desire. Either a lack of it, or the return of it.

I can't speak for other people, but for me, I think it was impossible for me to appreciate what a great gift the Gospel was in my life, until I went through a season of neglect concerning the needful things. In other words, if something has been "forced upon you" or "handed to you" your entire life -- you never know if it is something you actually believe or even WANT. My own daughter is going through this at age 12 right now. It took me until I was 34!!

I was born into the Church. Did the whole "Mormon" thing. By "Mormon" thing I mean, baptized at age 8, Deacon at 12, Teacher at 14, Priest at 16, Four years of Seminary also, Elder at 19, served a 2 year mission, came home, attended BYU (graduated from another school, though), got sealed in the temple, etc. etc. etc.

Now, during all of that, I did feel the witness of the Spirit, certainly. I did feel it was true. But, deep down, it was never anything I questioned or stopped to think about if I wanted it or not. I don't know why. I am sure some of it was because 'being LDS" was a "tradition." It was just something I did. Because it was expected of me. Because all I had ever heard growing-up was "serve a mission."

Going inactive, shortly after I was sealed to my wife and daughter in the temple, was not something I planned. I just stopped going. It just did not "feel" like something I needed. I can't explain it any better than that. It just didn't feel necessary. To be honest, it just kind of felt like a drag. After a full week of work, and also school, while raising the children as we were blessed with them, it all just added-up, and Church just felt like "one more thing I gotta do." How sad that the ONE THING I needed most during that time was the ONE THING I neglected!! Satan scored a brief victory, but it was to be short-lived. :)

Children are "Saviors" for their parents. They have a way of bringing-up the untidy bits of our lives that we prefer to leave buried. The time came when my daughter came of age to be baptized. Here I was, inactive now for almost a decade, and my daughter had pretty much never been to church except for a handful of times in her life! I am so ashamed of that.

Anyway, not only because of her, but certainly it was a factor, I decided to return to full activity in the Church. I wanted to see her get baptized.

During this time in my life, I also began doing something new. Something I had never done before. I began to pray regularly. And I did it because I wanted to, not because I felt duty-bound. I actually hungered like Enos, and was similarly rewarded. I experienced what it was like to both feel like the lost lamb and also to be found by the Good Shepherd.

During my inactivity, I did not drink or smoke or anything like that. My sin was pride and neglect and ingratitude. I did not love that which was Holy or place a premium on my relationship with the Savior. I didn't even know HOW to have a relationship with Him, to be honest.

I am not sure if I would say I am any better-off or STRONGER somehow for having become inactive and then coming back. I think in many ways I was gaining a REAL testimony of the Savior for the first time! So that was not something that was STRONGER. I never had it in the first place. There was nothing to STRENGTHEN!

I do have the benefit of perspective and experience. I've tasted the bitter and now prize the sweet. But I would never go back and do it again. The best way to gain a testimony is to hunger and thist WHILE you are a member, not while you are inactive, and not when events are foisted upon you that require you to step-up and be counted.

The Lord has had much to forgive, with me. Fortunately, He is full of love and long suffering and patience, even for me.

I have a long ways to go. But as long as I keep coming back for each new lesson, I'll be okay.

Thanks for letting me share this experience.

[Aphrodite]

Thanks tomk thats really interesting. So your basic conclusion was you didnt know what you had till it was gone??? I think this is where my problem lies, I can't see the wood for the trees, I dont know what I believe as its what Ive always DONE like you said. I start to wonder, do I really believe this or is it habit? What would I have done in my life if I never had the church? Who am I if I am not categorized by the church. Its very confusing.

Canuck and loudmouth did not appear to have a testimony in the first place-I think I did, I used to, I certainly believe I did. Moksha had high ideals-perhaps I did too. But I believed that as thats what I believed I was taught. Hmm very interesting, Id love to hear more :)

[Guest tomk]

Thanks tomk thats really interesting. So your basic conclusion was you didnt know what you had till it was gone??? I think this is where my problem lies, I can't see the wood for the trees, I dont know what I believe as its what Ive always DONE like you said. I start to wonder, do I really believe this or is it habit? What would I have done in my life if I never had the church? Who am I if I am not categorized by the church. Its very confusing.

Canuck and loudmouth did not appear to have a testimony in the first place-I think I did, I used to, I certainly believed I did. Moksha had high ideals-perhaps I did too. But I believed that as thats what I believed I was taught. Hmm very interesting, Id love to hear more :)

Questions are the beginning of actual wisdom. Especially when they become your questions.

Nobody here in these forums can provide those "deep down" answers you are asking yourself. The answer needs to come from God, and not man. Ponder why that is.

Only you can hunger and thirst for this knowledge of God.

The story of Enos needs to be OUR story, our experience as well:

1 Behold, it came to pass that I, Enos, knowing my father that he was a just man—for he taught me in his language, and also in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—and blessed be the name of my God for it—

2 And I will tell you of the wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins.

3 Behold, I went to hunt beasts in the forests; and the words which I had often heard my father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into my heart.

4 And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

5 And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

6 And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.

7 And I said: Lord, how is it done?

8 And he said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ, whom thou hast never before heard nor seen. And many years pass away before he shall manifest himself in the flesh; wherefore, go to, thy faith hath made thee whole.

9 Now, it came to pass that when I had heard these words I began to feel a desire for the welfare of my brethren, the Nephites; wherefore, I did pour out my whole soul unto God for them.

It is possible to be a life-long member of the LDS Church and never have this experience!!! How do I know this? Because I did so, for 34 years!

There is opposition in all things, including the obtaining of this deep conviction that God lives.

When the "words...sink deep" into your heart, as they did with Enos, and your desire becomes absolute to know God -- He will answer. Then you will come to know and realize He has always answered.

[Hemidakota]

I would also add: being born again. This is a knee-jerk reaction from 'feeling' the atonement.

[crytsprospect]

For me my inactivity wasn't about my faith. I know the church is true always have and always will. Not all my family are members. I had an abusive childhood. I got pregnant and married to escape. For me it has always been the battle that I am too damaged , I don't relate to the sisters very well although I have always been blessed with wonderful visiting teachers and home teachers. My husband wasn't a member and when we divorced 10 years later there was a whole new stigma, I was active and inactive my whole life. I have had wonderful callings during my activity and remarried an inactive member his inactivity since a young child. Feeling your less than or don't belong is a big obstacle one I recognize as Satan but I battle with daily. Then when I do come to church I get treated like I don't know anything and I am one of the most active inactives I know. I am a member whether there or not and read my scriptures, pray etc. Its my battle I will win someday.

Peace and Happiness to you all

[WillowTheWhisp]

For me it was opposition from within the church which drove me away. I could cope with all the anti stuff and people outside the church knocking it but when I got people within the church pulling me down it became too much. I was fairly new and I interpreted it as me being not fit enough for the Kingdom. I didn't want to spend eternity with the sort of people who made my life a misery within the church. I never lost my testimony that the church is true, just doubted that I had a right to be there.

It was a missionary couple who loved me back.

I don't think I'm any stronger because of it. In fact I feel quite weak and fragile at the moment because of things that are happening to my daughter. I see her being hurt by the very people who should be uplifting her and helping her stay strong and I find myself revisiting the old feelings of not wanting to be there.

[crytsprospect]

Things that happened during my activity helped me choose to be inactive again. The well meaning couple who set me up with a great guy {their thought} who became a stacker and wouldn't leave me be. The relief society pres who told me I couldn't have any of their husbands. Judgements, gossip, and backbiting all that happen in any church helped to keep me from coming. That is the people not the church, the church is pure it is the one thing I know for sure in this life. As I have gotten older I don't let the negative at church bother me I let it go and when I am there I do my best to enjoy the moment .

[pushka]

Well, as most of you know I was never Baptised into the church 1st time around, when I attended from the age of 14 to 18..however, at the time that was mainly because I had to wait for my parents' permission to be Baptised, or wait till I was 18 to do it without their permission.

I thought I had a strong testimony back then, in fact I'm pretty sure I did, however I was not strong enough to resist temptation and in the end it was that which led me to leave, with pressure from my non-member boyfriend of the time who later became my husband.

During the 26 years I was away from the church I often thought about the inevitable day that I would return. For years I defended the church, I never thought it had done me any harm, but then I heard a few 'horror' stories and this altered my viewpoint a little, I wondered whether some of my depressive illness was caused by guilt from not being 'perfect', however I now know that that wasn't the church, that was me with my obsession at being the best I can be in anything I get involved with...

I began to research the church on the internet in 2001, and briefly had lessons with the Missionaries again, however I was just full of questions and doubts, I wasn't ready to return, my testimony had disappeared, I was quite surprised by this. In 2003 I joined LDSTalk and started to read more about the church again, I began to see the church members as ordinary people with weaknesses just like my own, they seemed more human than I'd imagined them to be..than I was when I used to attend, lol.

I finally returned to the church after much soulsearching and debate in January this year. I don't think I'm stronger in some respects than I was when I was in my teens, however I think I am in other respects, experience has taught me to believe in myself more and to be confident with my own decisions in life. I am happy to be back, I am happy to see old and new friends each week and to be a part of the culture and community of Mormonism. I am working on my Testimony by accepting challenges as a newly Baptised member, challenges such as organising a new members'/investigators' Family Home Evening at the local chapel..1st time tomorrow! I think I might stick around this time, lol :)

[Misshalfway]

It all started with pain.

My marriage was in trouble. Addiction, denial, and betrayal was the core of it. A host of other troubles hit all at the same time. Health, relationships -- you name it. My life was on the rocks and my broken boat was sinking below the waves.

I followed the mormon prescription for everything....I went to the bishop! Well, truth is I went to many over the years -- 6b's, and 2 SP's. Slowly getting the courage to explain the truth about my life and my H's addiction. When I did share pieces of the truth, I was told a variety of things. You don't love him enough. That was a goodie. And then this one, so brilliant -Fix things in the bedroom. When things were at their worst, my H was skating by in the eyes of the church. He was a HP and received a calling on the High Council. In the interview, I discovered more of my H's activities which horrified me. The SP said, well, lets just not tell anyone about that. Just one less person that has to forget. And the call was issued. I was beside myself with shock and outrage. I went back to the SP in private and told the truth about his activities and asked for help. He bascially told me I was lying. You see, my H was very good at the interview game. He could snow the best of 'em. And he was also good at throwing me under the bus when he needed to. That was the addiction talking of course. Well, that was kinda the last blow. It took me a while to get over it. I am still struggling with the chain of events that happened after that.

Basically my life was falling apart in amazingly painful ways. I would pray and the heaven's seemed closed to me. No....locked! For a while, I just hung on. I was active and tried to serve. It was a white knuckling effort that I couldn't sustain. My strength was tapped, couldn't find a friend to save my life, the church was a dead end to me, my family was turning on me, and God didn't seem to care. Suddenly I didn't know anything anymore. What I thought was true, didn't seem to work anymore. The people I trusted, and offices I trusted failed me. Was there even a God? Where was he? Why wouldn't he answer? Are all these promises of healing just a big show? I was alone and I knew it. Well, I wasn't completely alone. Satan was there doing what he does best. I am afraid he had his way with me. I felt like I was in the middle of a mighty storm that no one could see and feel but me.

And then, I started to feel the spirit. I started to feel led with small commands or promptings. Some where so very sweet and still bring me to tears.

I decided to take a break from things. To take myself out of the church.....or maybe take the church out of myself and lay it all out in front of me. I decided I would only take back what was true. So, I started working it out. Piece by piece. I started with God. I needed to know if he was there and if he cared. Once I got that figured out, I started to trust again.

I look back now, and I think that I understand better. I can see God's hand more clearly. I believe that God did indeed leave me alone with the adversary for a time. I can see that God was dismantling a very poorly constructed house. That deconstruction was so very painful and I felt every blow! But I also see that he has been rebuilding something sound and sure inside of me. It is slow work. And sometimes I fight the process....alright, most of the time I fight the process. :) But I am submitting to all of it. And trusting that it will all be for good somewhere, somehow.

I can't really explain what has happened since. I am still in process. My testimony is strengthening. I love the scriptures more than ever. My preconceived ideas about the church and what it meant to be a mormon are gone. I don't know anything of perfection. I say that as I laugh! I seem to be so familiar with my weakness and weaknesses. It is a strange feeling to be so broken and feel so strengthen at the same time. Grace. That is all I can say. Grace.

I am learning about the Savior in a way I have never known before. And I feel the words of Nephi..." I glory in my Jesus..." I was told by a good friend once about the shepherds in Jerusalem and the country round about the city. How they know each sheep...each new lamb by name and sound. And when one is lost or wanders away, they go and find them to bring them home. And sometimes the shepherd would break the legs of the lamb so it wouldn't wander again. And then carry the broken sheep on his shoulders and then heal them. During that process they learned of the love of the shepherd. And then learned his voice. And would not leave again.

I don't know if that is true. But I think of that every time I see pictures of the Savior with the lamb around his shoulders.

I wish I could say it was some bishop or HT or friend that loved me back.

All I really know is that God is loving me back.

[crytsprospect]

Wow you went deep thanks so much for sharing. I really understand alot of what you said and sharing helps me in my process. You are awsome.

[Aphrodite]

I agree crytsprospect. thanks for sharing miss halfway. just what i needed to hear :)

[WillowTheWhisp]

Thank you for sharing that Misshalfway. I can relate to a lot of it. It's so hard when you feel so alone and feel that even Heaven's door is locked when you need it the most.

I had never heard of a shepherd breaking the sheep's legs to keep it from straying again. I cannot understand how that sheep would ever love and trust the person who hurt and injured it. I find it very hard to love and trust people who hurt me. Perhaps that is something I need to learn.

[Guest tomk]

If having the Savior "breaking our legs" saves our spiritual lives -- doesn't that mean He deserves our love and trust? More than if He had taken no steps to save us from ourselves?

3 Ne. 9: 20

20 And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost, even as the Lamanites, because of their faith in me at the time of their conversion, were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not.

Hel. 15: 3

3 Yea, wo unto this people who are called the people of Nephi except they shall repent, when they shall see all these signs and wonders which shall be showed unto them; for behold, they have been a chosen people of the Lord; yea, the people of Nephi hath he loved, and also hath he chastened them; yea, in the days of their iniquities hath he chastened them because he loveth them.

[Guest tomk]

5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

[cintiejo]

I am not much of a writer but I will try to convey my feelings. I am a better speaker than a writer.

I became inactive because of apathy. I just didn't care if I went or not. No one ticked me off, no one said something that offended me, I didn't have a problem with any of the teachings, I just didn't care if I went or not. There was an emptyness inside of me. It nothing to do with my testimony. I did and I still know that his church is true. If I don't understand a teaching, I study and pray until I have the knowledge to know that whatever was taught was true. In my PB I was blessed with many gifts, one being the gift of faith. My faith has never waivered. If the scriptures says the Lord will bless us for keeping the commandments, then I know that he will. If I am sick and I receive a blessing I know that I will be healed. If I pray for something and the Lord tells me no, or not at this time. I accept it and move on. I know that my Father will take care of me.

What changed me was when someone tried their best to make my faith waiver. They bombard me with all kinds of anit literature. They would sit down and discuss what was wrong with our church. They brought up things in the history of church that didn't seem right. They tried to get me to break the word of wisdom by drinking. Telling me "that Joe Smith wouldn't care if I had one drink". And everytime they would say something I would just look at them and tell them that they could believe how they wanted but I knew that the church was true. They would never change my mind. After the last discussion we had, I thought wow, I have been inactive and still have a testimony, how much bigger and stronger would it be if I attended church. It has been hard to reactivate myself. It is alot easier to stay home but I go. The emptyness that I have is starting to fill up with the Holy Spirit. Something that I have finally figured out I was missing. Don't let anyone tell you that it is easy to be reactivated. It's hard, dang hard, but it's worth every struggle we go through to become who we know we should be.

[crytsprospect]

{I have been inactive and still have a testimony, how much bigger and stronger would it be if I attended church}

I think a lot of us struggle with this who have such a strong testimony of the church and don't attend for whatever reason. I know I do. Thanks for sharing. I agree with you completely.

[MaidservantX]

I have been following this thread and have loved hearing people express their stories. I have wanted to contribute but have been thinking wondering how I could say what I mean. Hopefully, I'm ready to do so. Please forgive me any weakness in my expression.

On the 'outside' I have done many of the things that we are asked to do in the Church (and that I believe are commandments from my Savior): I pay tithing; I go visiting teaching; I attend the temple; I attended seminary; I gave birth to several children; I go to church every Sunday; etc. etc. etc. I have no problem doing any of these things and others like them. They give me joy. There are times I've failed (visiting teaching!! ) at certain commandments, but I'm always striving to do better. In fact, I would say that things, yes, are on the 'outside' but they are also on the 'inside' of me.

However.

I have had deep struggles with God.

I would like to know which human being hasn't. I don't think you can find one.

Everyone has their secret burden that produces questions about life, God, church, the goodness or evil of humanity, and so much more. This is obviously not limited to Morminism, Christianity or even Theists.

To make this personal and to give you glimpses into my story: I have been known say to my Father in heaven: "What did I ever do to you? What did I ever do to you that you have screwed me this way?" And, yes, that isn't the best language, but that's exactly how I thought of it; they weren't pretty conversations between me and God.

I could give you my life story -- not the place for it. (Read some archived blogs of mine if you wish.) But suffice it to say that every one has something(s) that breaks them and that we have to make a choice about for good or for evil. Will that include leaving or being inactive in the Church? Will that include remaining with the Church? That is between you, as a child of God, and your Father in heaven. Our Father in heaven (and your Savior) is who we are accountable to. The answers to all struggles and to all questions -- whether it is the theory of relativity; or how to forgive someone who violated us -- those answers are in the struggle, in the question, and taking these things to the altar, so to speak. It's always going to be a journey, it's always going to be a hard journey. Just like a hike up a mountain -- our muscles ache, we have shortness of breath -- BUT --- then, then! There is the view at the top of the mountain! :) Not that I'm there yet. I'm not. That's what I'm saying. My struggle(s) are very present with me every day. For example, I had to come to terms with the fact that I need to be in a 12-step program. I love it now! I love it, love it, love it and I feel safe and I feel like I'm progressing. But to get myself there the first time -- hm, ya know? It finally hit me: "You need to go to a recovery meeting." and I had a choice to accept it and go forward or spend more time on more struggle.

Anyway, I wish you the best Aphrodite. Your Father in heaven knows you. He loves you. He is delighted in how unique you are and he is prepared to be with you through any struggle of any kind that you face.

I appreciate your example to me, Aphrodite.

[crytsprospect]

Thanks X I know what you mean --I understand we chose our path on this earth, Our parents anyway and the probability of problems we now have. We were so excited and sure we could overcome anything to be back with our father in heaven. We knew we could do it. Now the reality is we struggle and we forgot for a time how we felt before we chose this life. I know this and for me it is working through all the crap {apologies} to get to be that excited faith filled person who knew she could do it.

[Guest tomk]

I have been following this thread and have loved hearing people express their stories. I have wanted to contribute but have been thinking wondering how I could say what I mean. Hopefully, I'm ready to do so. Please forgive me any weakness in my expression.

On the 'outside' I have done many of the things that we are asked to do in the Church (and that I believe are commandments from my Savior): I pay tithing; I go visiting teaching; I attend the temple; I attended seminary; I gave birth to several children; I go to church every Sunday; etc. etc. etc. I have no problem doing any of these things and others like them. They give me joy. There are times I've failed (visiting teaching!! ) at certain commandments, but I'm always striving to do better. In fact, I would say that things, yes, are on the 'outside' but they are also on the 'inside' of me.

However.

I have had deep struggles with God.

I would like to know which human being hasn't. I don't think you can find one.

Everyone has their secret burden that produces questions about life, God, church, the goodness or evil of humanity, and so much more. This is obviously not limited to Morminism, Christianity or even Theists.

To make this personal and to give you glimpses into my story: I have been known say to my Father in heaven: "What did I ever do to you? What did I ever do to you that you have screwed me this way?" And, yes, that isn't the best language, but that's exactly how I thought of it; they weren't pretty conversations between me and God.

I could give you my life story -- not the place for it. (Read some archived blogs of mine if you wish.) But suffice it to say that every one has something(s) that breaks them and that we have to make a choice about for good or for evil. Will that include leaving or being inactive in the Church? Will that include remaining with the Church? That is between you, as a child of God, and your Father in heaven. Our Father in heaven (and your Savior) is who we are accountable to. The answers to all struggles and to all questions -- whether it is the theory of relativity; or how to forgive someone who violated us -- those answers are in the struggle, in the question, and taking these things to the altar, so to speak. It's always going to be a journey, it's always going to be a hard journey. Just like a hike up a mountain -- our muscles ache, we have shortness of breath -- BUT --- then, then! There is the view at the top of the mountain! :) Not that I'm there yet. I'm not. That's what I'm saying. My struggle(s) are very present with me every day. For example, I had to come to terms with the fact that I need to be in a 12-step program. I love it now! I love it, love it, love it and I feel safe and I feel like I'm progressing. But to get myself there the first time -- hm, ya know? It finally hit me: "You need to go to a recovery meeting." and I had a choice to accept it and go forward or spend more time on more struggle.

Anyway, I wish you the best Aphrodite. Your Father in heaven knows you. He loves you. He is delighted in how unique you are and he is prepared to be with you through any struggle of any kind that you face.

I appreciate your example to me, Aphrodite.

I thrill when I read things like what you said (I bolded part of it above).

THAT is what Father and Jesus are wanting from us!!!!!!!

Honesty!!!!!

This is something I still find myself struggling with. Just laying it all out there. Telling Father what I think and not padding it or softening it.

I don't know how to put this in words, but I feel it in my bones all the time.

THEY WANT US TO SEE THEM AND TREAT THEM AS "REAL" PEOPLE.

What "good" is a God we can't speak our mind to?

[bcguy]

I attend on and off but a few things do not allow me to continuously go to church.

Having a work schedule where IBM and the client and my employer do not car if I work nights, weekends or holidays. For the most part my manager takes into consideration my mental health and gives me weekends off if possible. This is where I stay home on Sundays if I work Saturdays.

I do not get any calls from anyone in the church do do any outside of church activities. This is not always the case. I find it would be tough to be friends with anyone in the church after all, we LDs are well known for bottling up "true feelings" that would bother or offend a church member.

I have had experiences throughout my life of seeing events before the event occurred since I was a teenager. Again, I was put down by my bishop simply because I asked him in private how I should deal with it.

I have not had any revelation experiences since last winter so thats good.

My wife stopped attending 1.5 years ago after being a member for 40 years. She was born into the church. The stake president changed our church boundaries and she did not like the fact she was being forced to move to another ward that was further away from us. In fact several members did not like it at all. One member refused to leave. The stake president said she can stay and not feel like she was a guest. My wife did not like the new wards lack of acknowledgment of her being at the church. No one said hi to her most of the time.

When I went into my temple prep class years ago the ex bishop said everyone will goto spirit prison if thay are not a member of the church. I then asked a very tough question "And does that include the mentally and physically handicapped??" he shaked and trembled with hesitation and said yes. That bothered me a great deal and questioned the church at that point.

As someone else said "Its just one more thing to do" I am usually burned out by the end of the week and feel my "Real" day of rest is just staying home and giving my body and mind a break.

There were times in my life where I was unemployed and had almost no money. I asked for financial help after being a 100% tithe payer. The bishop never showed any interest in helping me.

I do believe in Jesus but in a much simpler way then what the church teaches. I feel that some times the teachings are a bit overkill and that teach by example then in Sunday room class would be a better application if at all possible.

[WillowTheWhisp]

When I went into my temple prep class years ago the ex bishop said everyone will goto spirit prison if thay are not a member of the church. I then asked a very tough question "And does that include the mentally and physically handicapped??" he shaked and trembled with hesitation and said yes. That bothered me a great deal and questioned the church at that point.

I can accept that anyone mentally or physically handicapped who has accepted the gospel will go to spirit paradise and anyone who is mentally or physically handicapped who has not had the opportunity to accept the gospel will go to spirit prison in exactly the same way as any able-bodied or 'unhandicapped' person would, and there they will have exactly the same opportunity to hear and accept if they choose to do so. Why should they be treated any differently? I'm fairly sure that in the spirit world no-one is limited as to ability so any mental or physical difficulties would no longer be there. That's the beauty of the gospel - everyone will have the same opportunity if not in this world then in the next.

P.S. just being a member of the church doesn't mean someone automatically has a ticket to salvation.