unixknight

Let the man finish.

By all means go ahead. I just wouldn't want someone to have the expectation that this alone will solve the problem, or even make much difference.

Locking out the cable and Internet with passwords is only a solution for little kids. A grown adult will find porn when he wants it. Period. That's one of the things that makes it such a threat. It's like trying to carry water in your bare hands. Slow it down, maybe... but if someone in the home wants it in, it's getting in. This ain't like keeping flies out of the apartment with a screen door. Besides, that would only be a temporary solution at best. Something's obviously going on inside the guy, and he's got to fix it the right way. Porn is like a drug... and treating the addiction starts with acknowledging it for what it is. He has to stop WANTING it, or at the very least, has to want to choose chastity over porn. Then you won't need all the fancy passwords and filters. (Although you might want to keep them around to avoid accidents. It's insidious how many ways there are for porn to find its way into your computer when you aren't looking for it.) Problem is, that means he has to take some initiative and WANT to fix this. Until that happens, no amount of pressure will make things better.

Right there with you, brother.

What blows my mind is that most of the very same people who are now questioning the Church's position on these things were probably in perfect agreement before this cultural change swept through. It wasn't that long ago that the idea of things like gay marriage was unheard of and not given a second thought. Now we're supposed to treat it as some kind of obvious, self-evident moral truth that the Church is backward on. The only thing that changed in this equation is cultural opinion. But I guess sticking to fickle cultural norms is the new "steadfast."

It's what happens when contemporary culture, with all its whims, is considered as much a moral authority as the Church.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens ooohhhhh yeeeeeah

Such turtle hate. I had no idea we had a chelonaphobe* here. And no trigger warning, either... *Look it up

My daughter is getting booster packs for Magic:The Gathering

Whatever you do, do NOT succumb to the guilt trip being laid upon you for failing to be supportive of this nonsense. Pop culture would have you (and the rest of us) believe that the only correct response to his behavior is to encourage it without question, support his every whim and desire enthusiastically, and make whatever changes to your lifestyle, morality and beliefs it takes to spare him from even the tiniest scrap of shame for what he's doing. And if it isn't painfully obvious what the REAL source of that mentality is... He's wrong. Full stop. Even if transgenderism were natural (which it isn't) the simple fact that your feelings are being dismissed and villified should tell you all you need to know about the ethical part of it. You married a man who made a commitment to you to BE A MAN. Now he wants to back out, not only on the being a man part, but on the being faithful part, and you're supposed to just go with it like somehow he's achieved something great and wonderful for you as a couple. Absurd. Keep praying, see the Bishop, and get an emotional support network behind you. In this day and age, with so many others just breathlessly waiting to congratulate him for his "courage" (as if giving in to lust and temptation were at all courageous) he will probably never feel enough shame to steer him off the course he's set. Hang in there.

Just because I'm firm in my stance doesn't mean it's the only right way. I do feel that I have to elaborate on my points sometimes because people have, on a couple of occasions in this thread, misrepresented what I said so I respond to set the record straight. (I left out accusations of strawman arguments because that never makes things better.) Is that unreasonable?

Not surprised. Between the shooting at the church in SC and the rising hostility toward religion (especially Christianity) in our culture, it makes sense that people are nervous.

I wish I could give that 5 likes for the Princess Bride reference

Defend themselves and their loved ones from what? I'm glad we can disagree with each other respectfully, but your reply is making it sound like these trolls are running around attacking people. If they were, I'd be the first to join the goon squad. But however strongly we might feel about it, it hasn't turned violent. When it turns into a large issue I'll join you on the goon squad. Save me a spot. Until then, I'm not willing to wet my pants over it. But keep in mind where this started... with someone commenting on the idea of gathering a bunch of non-professional guys to hang around and be intimidating. You're talking about professional security, which isn't the same thing. Professional security guys are trained in how not to escalate a situation needlessly, and aren't there because of any specific group or individual. Sorry guys, but I'm not going to be okay with beating the drums of war over this. We can agree to disagree. I'm seeing a lot of repies that have an almost eager tone to them, as if some folks WANT it to turn into some kind of holy war. If these trolls start getting violent or start trying to physically prevent Catholics (or anyone) from having Church services, I'll be the first to show up with the goon squad. Until then, saber rattling isn't going to be the remedy. It would be nice if the cops were more on the ball here. Maybe if it continues they will be. In the meantime it seems to me that a simple locked door and a guy positioned outside with a key is all that's needed to keep things secure during Mass.

Yeah I understand the cops aren't exactly jumping on this one, but again, I suspect that's because there are bigger fish to fry. Doesn't mean the answer is street justice. Here's the thing: I get the desire to have some guys be there to provide a physical barrier, especially if the police aren't as available as we'd like. I get that. I do. I'd be tempted to do the same. BUT If that's a step we're willing to take, then we have to do so with eyes wide open and honest about what's happening. It sends the message that we are now prepared to use physical force - violence - to prevent these intrusions. Doesn't matter if we want it to become violent or not... the very fact that we're talking about getting a goon squad together is the clearest sign ther we're preparing for it. I call that escalating the situation. If one of these goons looses his cool and it comes to blows, then there will be consequences. Similarly, if one of the trolls does, there will be consequences. "Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword." http://biblehub.com/kjv/matthew/26.htm This is what the Savior said when one of His followers initiated violence against the soldiers that came to arrest Him. So far, we have a bunch of trolls who think the best use of their time in serving the Lord is to go try and shame Catholics in their own churches. Jerk behavior? Absoolutely. Illegal? Almost certainly. Embarassing to the rest of us Christians? Yup. I reserve the word evil for much greater threats than these. In a world with Planned Parenthood and ISIS, this is barely even on the radar.

Who said anything about letting it have its own way? In my very first post I referred to criminal charges. What more do you want? Think the Nevada police would be pleased to see goons stationed in front of Catholic Churches? Think that'll make their job easier or harder? And while I would agree these trolls are misguided, I'd hardly call them evil. They've managed to avoid violence so far. There are more than enough examples of violence out there of you're looking for evil. This is just a nuisance.

Because of the implication of physical force. A group of big dudes standing in front of the building is a clear message saying "We will physically stop you from doing this." Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes it is necessary to use physical means to defend one's self from harm. The difference here is that in your example, you were physically attacked and (rightly) used physical force to defend yourself. So far, these trolls who roll into Catholic Churches to cause a disturbance aren't attacking anyone physically. Now, imagine, if you will, a group of big dudes standing outside, awaiting these trolls. Can you be certain somebody's temper won't flare up and turn it into a brawl? If it does, which side was the one who showed up ready to take it to the next level?

While I agree with you in principle, the fact is that many people interpret the Constitution differently. Not saying their interpretation is equally valid or right, but the issue isn't as black and white as all that. You really have to be certain if you're going to call that interpretation of the 2nd Amendment a spiritual matter.

And if they don't? A violent confrontation might ensue. So far, these activities haven't escalated to that point. I don't think the side that DOES escalate it gets to judge the Christianity of the other side.

Not sure how escalating the situation will help.

Firstly, no you aren't a rotten person. You're a person who fell to temptation. Welcome to the human race. A rotten person wouldn't feel any remorse over it, and you clearly do. You need to keep that in mind and to hang onto it, because self loathing is one way in which Satan gets his hooks into you and WILL hinder your progress toward redemption. Heavenly Father still loves you, and it isn't because He doesn't know what happened. He knows, and loves you anyway, and isn't going to stop. Second, don't be discouraged by people telling you that you have no right to acknowledge your husband's role in this. Is yuor mistake his fault? Well no, but it's dishonest to pretend this sort of thing happens in a vaccuum. Your husband has certain emotional obligations to you, and if he failed in those obligations then that's a contributing factor. Why does it matter? Because when you are on the path to redemption you're going to need to rely on him to be there and either he can handle that or he can't. Lastly, if your marriage is so shaky that it's only one incident away from collapse (you said it didn't go into full on sex) then it's doomed anyway. I would like to hope that isn't the case. He's got a right to know, and I don't believe in the "what he doesn't know won't hurt him" perspective. The reason is if we cheat and get away with it, then the barriers to us doing it again come down. You're gonna take a beating in all of this, but you'll come out stronger and wiser in the end. Just don't give up. You'll get hit with Church discipline (been there. It's a more positive experience than you might think) and the need for marriage counseling is obvious here. Probably should have happened sooner but it's not too late.

Render unto Caesar... We're subject to the law, but I would say the time to make an exception is when the demands of the law conflict with the Gospel. Gun ownership is not a spiritual principle. That being said, The Constitution is the Law of the Land, and any law that contradicts it is no law at all. So in the case of a gun confiscation program it could be argued that disobediance to such a program is fine because the highest law in the land isn't being violated by being a gun owner. That's sticky ground though, and a matter of personal judgement.

In this day and age, I'm just grateful there wasn't any violence. Ok, so these guys are jerks. They'll either get charged with tresspassing (or whatever) or they won't. Seems like a non-issue to me.

Yes, by all means stir it right back up. I'm sure the victim and her family will appreciate you bringing that painful episode back up for them, even though they've apparently put it behind them and moved on. I mean, obviously the poor fools were somehow deluded back in the day 10 years ago when they chose not to bring charges, and need a valiant warrior to come in and get retribution justice for them. Can you imagine the look of joy on their face when they get the phone call from the Prosecutor letting them know their daughter is needed to come be interviewed so she can relive that all over again? Yes, I'm sure that's just what they'd want. I bet they'll be so grateful they'll even invite you over for Thanksgiving dinner next year! And they totally wouldn't blame the members of your ward for keeping the gossip mill going. And the guy who did it... Yes let's snap his spiritual progress back by reminding him that even in Church there will always be people looking to keep the torches and pitchforks at the ready. Clearly, the Church authorities who handled the situation were in the wrong, and should have excommunicated him forever and ever lest he come back to start stalking the corridors of the meetinghouse once more. I mean, we can't be sure he hasn't done it again, can we? Better put a GPS on his car and see where he goes. Think of the children! And you know, I was thinking... why stop there? There's planty of mob justice to be had if we know where to look. Maybe the Ward Clerk should keep a copy of everybody's disciplinary history in the office for all the members to come look at! That way, vigilantes concerned members can make informed decisions. What if someone in the Ward once stole a car and never got arrested for it? We can post guards in the parking lot in case he decides to revert back to his old ways. Can never be too careful, can we? /sarcasm If this was something that happened recently, then maybe it would be something to pursue. As it stands, with it being 10 years ago, it seems more to me like somebody just wanting to play superhero.

You do nothing. What sort of answer do you want? The Church knows, handled it, and it's over. The parties involved chose not to escalate it to the authorities for their own reasons. It's been over for 10 years. It apparently hasn't happened again. So what value do you see in stirring that back up? I have a teenage daughter too and I wouldn't feel the need to drag that sort of thing back out. The only reason to start a crusade against this person is for drama. If he were a threat to anybody it would have come out long before now.