Bini

Read the original post and sort of skimmed through the responses.
 
Yes, there is White Privilege. It varies from city to city, and state to state, and country to country. Here's an observation I've found being "brown skinned" and married to a White man. When we travel together, especially to third world countries, he is always treated to the highest standard - people will greet him and wait on him as if he were a king. Unless I am physically by his side or holding his hand, there have been many times that I have been completely invisible. When I was a bit younger and still vacationing with my folks and siblings, there were awkward moments when people would assume I was "help" to the family, and not apart of the family. These are personal experiences of mine, and confirmation that yes indeed, there is White Privilege.
 
In America, we are a melting pop of rich culture and diversity. It's heartbreaking that despite the progressive changes we have made as a society, we are still so far off target when it comes to everyone being equals. No one group of people is better or more important than another - yet society enables it. Depending on the demographic, certain areas have more White Privilege and certain areas have more Minority Privileges. I agree that we can only move forward starting by examining our own behaviour and how we react to those different from ourselves. Nobody wants to be labelled as a bully. Nobody wants to be labelled as a lowlife. More tolerance is needed on both ends of the spectrum.

Read the original post and sort of skimmed through the responses.
 
Yes, there is White Privilege. It varies from city to city, and state to state, and country to country. Here's an observation I've found being "brown skinned" and married to a White man. When we travel together, especially to third world countries, he is always treated to the highest standard - people will greet him and wait on him as if he were a king. Unless I am physically by his side or holding his hand, there have been many times that I have been completely invisible. When I was a bit younger and still vacationing with my folks and siblings, there were awkward moments when people would assume I was "help" to the family, and not apart of the family. These are personal experiences of mine, and confirmation that yes indeed, there is White Privilege.
 
In America, we are a melting pop of rich culture and diversity. It's heartbreaking that despite the progressive changes we have made as a society, we are still so far off target when it comes to everyone being equals. No one group of people is better or more important than another - yet society enables it. Depending on the demographic, certain areas have more White Privilege and certain areas have more Minority Privileges. I agree that we can only move forward starting by examining our own behaviour and how we react to those different from ourselves. Nobody wants to be labelled as a bully. Nobody wants to be labelled as a lowlife. More tolerance is needed on both ends of the spectrum.

I haven't done it yet. The urgency I'd felt a week ago has calmed itself a bit, but I feel pretty confident that this is something I want to pursue. I was baptised when I was eight, like most kids raised in the Church, and I don't feel that I knew the magnitude of the decision I was making. I wish I had been allowed more time to learn and process before doing it. Honestly, I don't recall there being much of an option, but I do recall it being expected by family and ward members. I'd like a clean slate and to be re-baptised if and when I'm ready.

After more than a few years in leadership and mission work, I saw a lot of people who claim the letters are ignored. It may be because they didn't have the specifics as stated above. The statements are important. It could also be the Bishop isn't effective. There was a letter format found searching the Internet that had all the specifics. In short, write the letter to the Bishop, that is the "requirement". I'd follow up with a phone call. Don't be concened about perception or being lectured. A good Bishop won't require any more than the letter. They deal with this all the time.
 
Personnally, I'm sorry to hear it.  I know inactive members feel harrassed by visits when having requested no visitors. Leadership is always changing and people don't remember who the "no contact" members are. Some leaders refuse to respect privacy. They all have a story about the inactive member that was "saved". I wish you the best and welcome you to come back and be re-baptised when you are ready. :)

Bini, I find your post interesting, as approximately 20 years ago I had my name removed after having been born a raised in a family that has been LDS since the church was very young.
I have been in heavy prayer, study, and consideration for some time now, concerning returning.
I left with some sorrow, much guilt (betrayal of family), but was sure I was doing the right thing.
I now realize, with sorrow, that my baptisim, blessings, etc, are no more.
The realization of this (though of course I always knew it... I had just never addressed it in anyway) is something I found slightly difficult to deal with.
Just make sure you are very certain in what you are doing. It may bring painful regret in the future.

I second this.  And *hugs* Bini.

Well I'm in the same boat as you in some aspects.
 
If attending church (which your husband seems to forbid) literally going to tear your family apart - don't do it. Despite his reservation and sceptiscism, I'm assuming your husband is a wonderful spouse and father? If this is the case, try baby steps that aren't so abrasive to him, like maybe a ward activity that doesn't revolve around a sit down doctrine lesson but is primarily a social opportunity for the community to get together. Or maybe you can volunteer at a charity event and invite him to join us, emphasising that this isn't a "Mormon thing" but a "giving back to the community thing". If you're just wanting social interaction, while the Church is known well for this dynamic, there are other venues you can find this. Maybe look online for meet up groups with other mothers who have toddlers. Good luck.

Well I'm in the same boat as you in some aspects.
 
If attending church (which your husband seems to forbid) literally going to tear your family apart - don't do it. Despite his reservation and sceptiscism, I'm assuming your husband is a wonderful spouse and father? If this is the case, try baby steps that aren't so abrasive to him, like maybe a ward activity that doesn't revolve around a sit down doctrine lesson but is primarily a social opportunity for the community to get together. Or maybe you can volunteer at a charity event and invite him to join us, emphasising that this isn't a "Mormon thing" but a "giving back to the community thing". If you're just wanting social interaction, while the Church is known well for this dynamic, there are other venues you can find this. Maybe look online for meet up groups with other mothers who have toddlers. Good luck.

This is how I see it.
 
Giving it all over to Christ means you are allowing yourself to be in a place of humility and are calling upon the Lord for His strength to guide you (even if you find yourself in a web of confusion and turmoil) it's the moment where you rely on faith in belief that all things will be made right by Him. This doesn't mean that those things are made right in a time frame that is always convenient for us. Everything is and will be made right but according to the Lord's Will. Giving it all over to Christ is a step in so many positive directions, including, being able to forgive ourselves and others.

If you're a religious person, you'll ultimately feel that the most urgent is to save one's soul, and everything else is secondary to that. So that would mean, if you're able to convert someone to X because in your belief this is the first step to salvation, that's probably going to be your first attempt. No amount of food or water will save your soul.
 
If you're not a religious person, you might not even believe in souls, etc. But you might have the desire to give charity to those that need food, water, and shelter. And this might even be more important than ensuring someone has a belief system.
 
Personally, I'm not the converting type, but over the years I have become more aware of those in need. I am more than happy to help financially or with my time, aide those that need food, clean water, and finding shelter. There are so many families and people totally on their own that need help.

Many people can have shaken faith despite being diligent and obedient in nourishing our spirit (prayer, scripture study etc.). Its a great over simplification to think that if one is diligent then they will never have a faith crisis. Prayer and scripture study doesn't magically cure all ailments. IMO, the church has done its members a great disservice in the way it presents its history. In church I was taught a near fictional representation of early church leaders and events. When I began learning of controversial issues that occasionally blot church history I was distraught. I grew up being taught of a nearly infallible church being led by leaders that were almost perfect. When the truth emerged that our history isn't quite the polished fairytale Id been taught, I had a struggle of faith. It was a real and difficult struggle. I felt lied too, misled, and deceived. It's easy to say "oh, he must have never really had a strong testimony" - but that is an easy cop out response. The truth is that when historical facts contradict what you've been taught in church, it feels as if you're world has been turned upside down. People who have these struggles shouldnt be labeled as weaklings or apostates, but they have a real conflict of conscience that needs to be understood. They need compassion. What have I done? I have realized that belief is a choice. I still choose to believe, despite the difficult history and other issues, because it makes me happy.

Backroads, I haven't read the book but the ending is definitely a cliffhanger. It could be made into a sequel but I'm not sure it'd be worth stretching the plot out. The movie seemed to struggle with what it had.
 
I feel the same way about the Croods. I don't particularly care for Nicholas Cage and the first couple times I watched it I felt indifferent. But now, I've seen it too many times to count (because of my daughter) and it's really grown on me. Seriously, I bawl every time Grug chucks each family member across the canyon to ride the sun, and that moment he finally isn't afraid to tell his daughter that he loves her. And then there's the scene when he returns to the cave and draws his family on the wall... Tearjerker!

Backroads, I haven't read the book but the ending is definitely a cliffhanger. It could be made into a sequel but I'm not sure it'd be worth stretching the plot out. The movie seemed to struggle with what it had.
 
I feel the same way about the Croods. I don't particularly care for Nicholas Cage and the first couple times I watched it I felt indifferent. But now, I've seen it too many times to count (because of my daughter) and it's really grown on me. Seriously, I bawl every time Grug chucks each family member across the canyon to ride the sun, and that moment he finally isn't afraid to tell his daughter that he loves her. And then there's the scene when he returns to the cave and draws his family on the wall... Tearjerker!

I like the idea from an environmental standpoint, if it helps reduce the paper used annually, I'm all for digital newsletters. 

The Giver.
 
I guess it had potential but never quite delivered. I don't know if this came out before or after Divergent (and other similar movies) but it echoed a familiar plot - a colony under strict control - everyone is designated a career (there are only five groups) - the protagonist is given a "special job" because he is exceptional in all career paths, etc. It had some intriguing moments, and the acting was decent enough, but overall it was just totally flat and uninteresting. The ending seemed abrupt and unfulfilled, and in a way that I have little to no interest in watching a sequel if it were to come out.

If you're a religious person, you'll ultimately feel that the most urgent is to save one's soul, and everything else is secondary to that. So that would mean, if you're able to convert someone to X because in your belief this is the first step to salvation, that's probably going to be your first attempt. No amount of food or water will save your soul.
 
If you're not a religious person, you might not even believe in souls, etc. But you might have the desire to give charity to those that need food, water, and shelter. And this might even be more important than ensuring someone has a belief system.
 
Personally, I'm not the converting type, but over the years I have become more aware of those in need. I am more than happy to help financially or with my time, aide those that need food, clean water, and finding shelter. There are so many families and people totally on their own that need help.

We aren't going anywhere, so we'll be home, and I'll be cooking dinner. It won't be a turkey dinner or a ham dinner, so not sure that I can call it a "Thanksgiving dinner", but our little family does have a lot to be thankful for this past year.

Neuro and Classy, I will certainly stick around. I have no intentions of deleting my account. I've mostly just been preoccupied, which is why I haven't been around lately.

I might have answered this thread but I'm not sure that I'd subscribe to another religion. There are many things I agree with and feel within my soul are accurate truths in various faiths, but to choose one and one alone again, would be hard. I think I'd just live life not being associated with any particular faith, and worry about being an honest human being, treating others as I wish to be treated. I do believe in Karma. What goes around eventually comes around.

We aren't going anywhere, so we'll be home, and I'll be cooking dinner. It won't be a turkey dinner or a ham dinner, so not sure that I can call it a "Thanksgiving dinner", but our little family does have a lot to be thankful for this past year.

The potential or inevitable dissolve of a family sealing doesn't upset me, at least it hasn't yet, but the thought of disappointing my parents gives me a major guilt trip. I know they'll be crushed for this to go through. I should have said this earlier but I have no grudges against the Church whatsoever.

I pulled my list of topics to address in your letter from the Church Handbook of Instructions.  It does not address parent/child sealings beyond "temple blessings."
 
From a clerical perspective, whether you've been sealed to your parents or born in the covenant is of little consequence.  They appear differently on the record, but everything I've been taught is that the effect is the same.  When a husband and wife have a sealing cancelled, however, the status of the child is unchanged (for example, a BIC child will still be listed as BIC).  I've never said anything that addresses the instance of a child leaving the covenant.  I suspect this is because, practically speaking, the child made no covenant.  It is strictly between the husband and wife.  As long as they remain sealed, the promise to them is that their posterity will be sealed to them.
 
I suppose that could open a different Pandora's box of questions ("What if I don't want to be sealed to my parents."), but that's a discussion for another day.

A family sealing has no meaning for those outside the covenant. I don't think there is any sort of "official" dissolution of parent/child sealing when membership is revoked. For example, were such a person to withdraw from the Church and then rejoin, I don't think any separate sealing to parents would need to be done. But clearly, those who reject the covenant will not gain the blessings of the covenant.
 
Note that I am speaking outside my knowledge, especially regarding procedural matters.

To make this as painless as possible, Bini, you want to include in your letter that you understand that name removal cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation and revokes temple blessings (if you've been to the temple).  For a male (if necessary) you should also include that name removal withdraws the priesthood.  You should also state that you understand you may be readmitted to the Church by baptism and confirmation only after a thorough interview.
 
If you wish, you may also request immediate name removal and that you want the 30-day waiting period to be waived.
 
You have my best wishes for a happy life outside of the Church.  And of course, the invitation (and request) to continue your involvement here.

Neuro and Classy, I will certainly stick around. I have no intentions of deleting my account. I've mostly just been preoccupied, which is why I haven't been around lately.