shdwlkr

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Everything posted by shdwlkr

  1. most likely more than some reading these posts will ever know:)
  2. applepansy Agreed poor example but the idea is correct. You could look at your comment and say that police, firemen, doctors, nurses etc and our military should also have Sundays off but I doubt that will ever happen. Life is full of choices and some are made with the greater good being the right decision. I am not saying you are wrong but there are times when Sunday has to be just another day at work depending on the work you do. I was an engineer on highway projects for decades and I was the safety engineer on many projects and that meant on Sunday I had to go through the project a few times during the 24 hour period you call Sunday, holidays and other times when the contractor was not on the job. I did it because I was worried that someone might have an accident and not be found because of the construction and yes some did happen and had to be dealt with. What would have happened if no one went looking for things that were out of the normal on the project?
  3. My only issue with the new scans is there is two types one that is basically harmless and one if you have certain health issues can mess you up. I can understand since the last terrorist put it in his shorts the reason for the full body scans but I also realize that not all TSA agents are going to do a professional job while they feel you for stuff. There are several lawsuits with TSA already for improper body checks and even with the scans some agents are less than professional in comments. Where it will end is any bodies guess. Sad that this had to happen but then we live in strange times and they are not going to get a whole lot better for a long long time.
  4. As a dad who may soon be in this situation. Here is my take on the whole thing. First when my son(s) and daughter(s) are with me if it is Sunday then we will go to Sacrament meeting and then to our classes. We are all LDS so this is very different from the original post but somethings are the same. The kids need to realize that if they don't go to church, don't care what church because of some issue real or other wise they are doing a power game. If the child doesn't want to attend church then the statement from dad should be, How sad as after church we were going out for dinner and you won't be able to attend because you didn't go to church. Let the child know that there is a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk in the fridge and that is the end of it. We have to allow our children to make mistakes and enjoy the consequences so that they grow up realizing that yes they can not do something but there is a consequence of not doing it and they have to live with that consequence.
  5. First find a counselor for you and get yourself taken care of. then if you just can't see staying with your husband because of what ever reason move on. You have to look out for what is best for you and your kids and your eternal progression if your husband just can't seem to get his act together then you have to decide if you want to stay married to him no one can answer that question but you. Lastly pray a lot before you do anything and get a solid answer to what you should do in this situation. The answer might not be what you expect then again it might be. Most of all realize that the challenges of this life have a reason, doesn't mean we understand them but there is a reason. I am in a on going divorce and may never be able to see my kids again and it is stressing me out but I will get through it because I have too. Sometimes there is just no easy answer to what comes at us in this life and we have to be strong enough to accept what we can change and humble enough to tolerant what we can't change.
  6. If the relationship is dead then yes the marriage is just two people living in the same house. If love and caring, wanting to be stronger together then it can be saved if not then it is just a prison for both parties. It sounds like they have been together so long they don't know how to be individuals and are scared to find out. Sorry that you have to see this and realize that the relationship is dead.
  7. It is sad that a member would burn out meeting houses but a returned missionary? I hope he can now get the help he needs and that in time he can move forward with his life.
  8. just what we need to have to wonder if our meeting house is next on the to be burned list. Hope they catch who is doing it.
  9. Even when the world we know is falling apart around us like mine is we need to find something to laugh at or we will go nuts. My laughter for today is that my window in my truck just got a huge crack in it and I am having to get it replaced. What is funny? watching the crack move across the windshield.
  10. I am looking at a church court also but don't know what they are going to do and my bishop says he will help me all he can to keep my membership. We are only human here and fall down alot and it only matters if pick ourselves up and don't do the bad things again. Talk to your bishop and if he is a real bishop he is going to do what is best for you to progress towards eternity.
  11. First if Israel were going to attack Iran no one outside of a very small group in the government would know about it. Second Israel is going to protect herself in any way they see as being justified. There can be a general feeling among the people that this is coming and it could be true but it could be years before it happens or you could hear in the news today that it already has happened. there is no guarantees in this idea unless your friend is the master mind of the attack and if so he would not be running around the world saying anything about it.
  12. In the church if you are in a good ward area they will be very happy to see you return and for your husband to be there with you. We all have the right to return and pickup where we left off and move ahead with our lives in the mortal world and in our religion. I have just returned to active membership myself and am dealing with divorce and that is my rock to hang onto while my mortal world goes up in smoke. If I can make it through this fire I know I can get through the rest of my life even if it is alone. I feel the closeness of my religion at this time and my ward has been so helpful to me and the soon to be ex. It is giving me the peace so far to not judge but to accept that it was not to be and hope that I can be this way all the time. In your marriage talk about everything and pray together often and spend a night out together on a date as often as you can. I truly believe if you can do that always you will be together for ever. My marriage didn't go that way and I see the failure of not letting this happen.
  13. still what a sad thing to happen over a game
  14. I am going through a divorce and so far have been able to get my bishop to laugh at me and also my counselor. I am trying very hard to find something everyday to laugh at and my pets seem to offer examples each day. I could be bitter about the way things are going in my life instead up just plain upset and wishing it wasn't happening but we are taught that we are not given any challenge in this life we can't handle if we but go to the lord with our fears, concerns and wishes. So far I have been given the strength to return to church activity, have found a dear friend who I can lean on and most of all this friend is providing me with something to look forward to when most could only see the doom and gloom of the moment. My leaders are anything but reserved and laughter can break out at any moment with out warning if someone says something funny even if they don't at first see the humor. Life is a hard road and a bumpy road for many of us if we can not find the small bits of joy alog the way when we get to the end we are going to be very sad and bitter people. Our load has never said that we should shun joy but more to enjoy it in moderation as all things should be. We can choose to be sad or happy no matter what life throws our way because there is only one real truth and that is most of us are going to die in this life and experience the joy of watching life leave us bit by bit. What you call soberness can also be seen as being respectful such as being quit when someone is talking, listening totally to what is being said, and also teaching our little ones that is not ok to talk, stand up, make noise or disrupt a church meeting because they want too. It also shows those who are seeking a religion that we are an orderly people.
  15. I am sorry to hear that a game cost a child their life. farmville I played for awhile but it just got to time consuming the soon to be "ex" got into quite a bit don't know if she still is though.
  16. sorry I learned as a kid you eat corn bread with butter on it while still hot from the oven with pork and beans or mac and cheese. Farm kid at heart you could work off anything on the farm. As to the choc pork fat almost did the porcelain hug on that one. I have tried some strange things in my life that will not be one of them.
  17. At best he did not really state his case very well and needs some more input. At the worst he does have a problem. Totally forgot it could be his bishop and his responsibility in the issue being greater because of his priesthood status. The whole thing boils down to it should never of happened and both need to repent and take a hard look at the relationship and where to go with it.
  18. First you should get things started with your current bishop. We are talking here of your repentance process and what it means to you. Your boy friend is totally wrong on his being on a higher level more like a lower level because he is trying to rub the poor judgment on both your parts to being all your problem as he is already ahead of you. What he has failed to realize is that his stating he is on a higher level than you is gloating and somehow I don't see that as one of the talents we are to learn here. As to your relationship I personally would be very careful to move forward or even spend much time with someone who belittles me and he is putting you down because you have not started the repentance process. If he will do this over this event what will he do when you are married and things get really tough? There is a church song that goes "do what is right and let the coneqences follow" or something like that look out for your own salvation and get started it will only get harder the longer you wait. Best of luck and remember the LORD only gives us adversity that we can handle.
  19. You guys and food it is not so much the kind of food you have been talking about that is turning me off as much as the amount of salt that is in it. Look at almost any fast food place and you can find the heart attack sandwich and the fat collector. I had to eat the fast food way for almost two months because where I was staying there was no way to cook my own food. Hamburgers and me are on a vacation for a while. I now can make my own food and a pound of stew beef goes me 7 meals. If you had ever seen the way eggs are collected, meat is processed, veggies are processed, and really any commercial food processing you would not buy food in a store. I could get graphic but don't see the need. think e coli and you will have a better understanding.
  20. I am looking at divorce because I allowed worldly things get in the way. We stopped going to church and paying tithe and the challenge of the kids at home 6 of them with special needs just got to me and I reacted badly and now am paying for it. If I ever allow someone to get close enough to me to think I love them again it had better be with someone who won't give up on me or them or our relationship. It will be very hard for me to even talk to another woman again as I am still at that totally scared stage of the divorce and only time can work on that. Some things I would suggest to marrieds is to talk more about family challenges, love more, spend time together as a couple and most of all pray together morning and night as a couple for strength to keep working together. Never let others tell you what is right for you and your spouse and most of all realize that life can pull any of us down and we can react very badly. I still love the soon to be "ex" it is her who has given up on me and that is just the way things are working out. I am not mad at her, but could never go back into the relationship because of things we have talked about in counseling that I never even realized were issues. If the marriage is worth saving you may both need to go to counseling and do it with a LDS counselor they do see the big picture. In the end I and her did fail each other and now we are going in opposite directions. If there are kids try and stay positive in front of the kids and most of don't get into a she said he said fight you both loose if you do. I really hope someday that there is someone for me to love who will walk with me right up to deaths door, but right now I can not see that, all I can do is pray that is what is ahead for me sometime in the time I have left in this life. I am one of those guys who hates to be alone but would rather be alone then be hurt like this again. For the record my first wife was murdered, my second after 20 years didn't want to play house anymore so she decided it would be better if I offed myself so she worked on me mentally and almost won, third wife got the benefit of my military, and the other life issues stated before. I thought I had them all taken care of wrong and so things fell apart. Make sure before you marry that everything is talked out, talk about sex, talk about kids, talk about what has happened in your past and most of if it could affect your marriage discuss it if not never bring it up ever. I am in my 60's never expected to be starting all over again and learning how to take care of a house all alone and dealing with a divorce again. Life is full of pot holes and we can either drive slowly through them, fill them in or make a big deal out of them and destroy a marriage. Never marry someone you don't want as a best friend and never see most things in marriage as a big deal. Some things just can't be over looked and I accept that. Live long prosper and do good
  21. Maya It seems to be the cure for too many things anymore. I admit that I was a pain in the butt but didn't realize how bad until the fly paper hit the fan so to speak. I am in counseling now and have found out that I have been carrying a lot of bad baggage for a longtime. Some from the military, some from my first wife being murdered, some from the second who tried to get me to off myself and some from issues in the current marriage and then there is life that presents its own issues. thanks for the welcome and words of encouragement. I am studying to be a mental health counselor and hope to make it all the way through so I can work for me not someone else.
  22. I am just trying to figure out what she saw in me that is gone now. Life is not supposed to be easy but sometimes it throws curves at us I wonder just what I am supposed to learn from it. Some things are known and being worked on in counseling, but I thought you were to be married for better or worse guess there are limits on worse. I just hope that I get to see my kids some over the years. thanks for the welcome
  23. So what are you bad points? I have been around the block a few time myself
  24. I am a 60's something who is going through divorce I like to garden, shoot targets, be in the country not city, like animals and just to have some time to myself. I am bald, have a beard, am around 6 foot 2 in height and 250 in weight would love to go see Alaska one day and really like being maybe a hermit when things settle down. Life is full of surprises we don't expect but have to live with.